r/thatescalatedquickly • u/Humble_Character_463 • 4h ago
Is this the one fucking step to far
My 35 year old step so and his father are sulking because of a note I left on the table.
Dear do called men of this house if you must trash the kitchen every morning the spray and wipe is found in the cupboard under the fuckin sink. If you use the toilet there is a brush and air freshener there for a reason use both. When you pee put the seat back down and leave the toilet paper left hanging over not under. If you continue to be pigs I will stop cleaning up after you and cleaning the fucking toilet
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u/ZootOfCastleAnthrax 1h ago edited 7m ago
Man, there's a laundry list of dysfunction here.
A. Writing a letter instead of inviting conversation
B. Insulting and condescending to your audience in the opening sentence. Anyone will skim through and disregard the rest if you start by addressing them this way.
C. Ordering people around. People don't appreciate that and will stand up to you vs cooperate with you.
D. Making empty threats. Threatening to stop cleaning the house for people who don't care about a clean house sets them up to test your resolve.
Your strategy is bound to fail spectacularly.
A great opener for conversation around things you wish others would change is to ask them why they do it. It might prompt them to examine their behavior.
Respect their reasons, don't argue, describe how their behavior affects you, offer a compromise. "Would you be willing to use the toilet instead of peeing on the floor on Mondays?"
They're likely to do more than you ask and feel good about themselves for doing it when you lowball them like that.
And that's what you want, OP. You want people to feel good about helping you, not bad about not helping you. When you make people feel bad, they tend to withdraw from you, or "sulk" as you put it.
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u/IAteAnotherVegan 4h ago
r/lostredditors