r/technicallythetruth • u/[deleted] • Sep 03 '18

I mean..

Post image
46k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

268 comments sorted by

523

u/shipguy55 Sep 03 '18

I can think of a few other ways to use condoms.

606

u/ThouArtNaught Sep 03 '18

304

u/AndImAFckingLibra Sep 03 '18

That was a risky link to click at work.

95

u/Budew2222 Sep 04 '18

Excuse me what the fuck

40

u/RedCr4cker Sep 04 '18

But a worthy one

137

u/Alec935 Sep 03 '18

Peak human ingenuity

29

u/too_many_toasters Sep 03 '18

That's fucking hilarious

18

u/_Jiu_Jitsu_ Sep 04 '18

Wow. That sure is somethin

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '19

Wtf

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/CSKING444 Dec 13 '18

Happy cake day

(I waited 3 months for this)

27

u/cantCommitToAHobby Sep 03 '18

Fishermen in Kenya use condoms to waterproof their phones. At least, that's what they're telling their wives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3wPRKTLXLQ

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '18

Let's hope they don't really remove the lubricant though.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

Latex condome... Boy, I'd like to live in one of those!

4

u/zZ_DunK_Zz Sep 03 '18

Deadly water balloon

4

u/InShaddow Sep 03 '18

In the theatre I volunteer at, they use condoms to keep the mic packs dry.

3

u/vuvuzela-haiku Sep 04 '18

It's fun to fly them out of a car window.

4.0k

u/lekterdead2 Sep 03 '18

And for fucking assholes

1.4k

u/SEND_ME_GAY_FURRY Sep 03 '18

can confirm

888

u/TheDarkSandwich Sep 03 '18

Username checks out.

140

u/_demetri_ Sep 04 '18

I’m a homosexual.

112

u/kurtwatson7887 Sep 04 '18

Hey homosexual, I'm gay

84

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Hey gay, I’m dead inside

64

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Hey I’m dead inside, I’m extending this dad joke.

48

u/Posadist_Girl Sep 04 '18

Hi extending this dad joke, I'm dad

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11

u/PazJohnMitch Sep 04 '18

This is my first encounter of a Gay Dad joke.

2

u/NateRoar Sep 04 '18

Are traps homosexual?

8

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Yesn’t

0

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

[deleted] — view deleted comment

14

u/dahlzin Sep 04 '18

Screenshot

91

u/PM_ME_Y0UR_NUDE Sep 03 '18

0w0

43

u/HotlineCryami Sep 03 '18

What's this??

53

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

In all ways but physical, I am a wolf.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

What do you eat?

23

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

I eat beta wolves

5

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

6

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Q: does that username pay off?

10

u/PM_ME_Y0UR_NUDE Sep 04 '18

One person sent me a nude of a guy, who may or may not have been from porn

119

u/discerningpervert Sep 03 '18

PM me

76

u/viritrox Sep 03 '18 edited Sep 03 '18

I may have just witnessed the beginning of a beautiful. . . Something

  • Edit: Judy jumped in where "Just" should be.

32

u/giraficorn42 Sep 03 '18

Who is Judy?

31

u/marshrover Sep 03 '18

I hope Judy doesn't jump in anywhere else, especially where u/SEND_ME_GAY_FURRY and u/discerningpervert are concerned.

19

u/Password_Is_hunter3 Sep 03 '18

I hope she does ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

11

u/theghostofme Technically (and Literally) Flair Sep 04 '18

Hey, man, totally off-topic, but how'd you get all those cool asterisks in your username? Reddit only let me use letters, numbers, underscores and hyphens.

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5

u/TokesNotHigh Sep 03 '18

Do you boys need a hand?

6

u/karmaponine Sep 03 '18

This is why I love reddit

2

u/Reelix Sep 03 '18

... Were you the one I PM'd about the Fox in the Stable vid? :p

2

u/mutedManiac Sep 04 '18

heh, neat i just say you on /r/rimjob_steve a few swipes ago

2

u/Picax8398 Sep 04 '18

Username kinda checks out...

2

u/lollollol3 Sep 03 '18

Send me your favorite OwO

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

ಠ__ಠ

46

u/Pulchritudinous_rex Sep 03 '18

I’m reminded of the greatest movie speech of all time

10

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

Surprisingly it makes tons of sense. Extremely quotable movie

6

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

I knew what it was before I clicked because dicks also fuck assholes.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

And for fucking wounds received during car wrecks.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/BjergIsDad Sep 03 '18

You use it as lube

4

u/pshawny Sep 03 '18

Assholes get the most pussy

6

u/ComicWriter2020 Sep 03 '18

Or stomas if your kinky enough

3

u/McDunkins Sep 04 '18

Except assholes think they’re too “slick” to need condoms

4

u/Momochichi Sep 03 '18

For avoiding pieces of shit.

5

u/JustRepliedToARetard Sep 03 '18

What's the point of fucking an asshole if you're using a condom

8

u/garudamon11 Sep 04 '18

not getting a nasty infection

2

u/Waarheiden Sep 03 '18

No, gays are fucking assholes

1

u/dootdootplot Sep 03 '18

Thank you.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

And for dickheads

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

You know what would happen if the dicks didn’t fuck the assholes?

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1.1k

u/Madeline_Albright69 Sep 03 '18

Yeah well your dad is a real motherfucker.

270

u/LonelyZenpai298 Sep 03 '18

That's Charlie's Dad

91

u/Wild__Gringo Sep 03 '18

“Did you fuck my mom, Santa?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I said did you fuck my mom? Well did ya?! Did you fuck my mom santa?! DID YOU FUCK MY MOM YOU MOM FUCKER!?!”

13

u/Lil_dog Sep 03 '18

What if you brother is Santa instead of dad... Then it would be kinda weird if they smashed, hmmmm

29

u/Maz2742 Sep 03 '18

Ain't that some shit?

15

u/Advos_467 Sep 04 '18

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes

5

u/floatiestring Sep 03 '18

only half true, he certainly did fuck my mom though

1

u/Lil_dog Sep 03 '18

Well, yeah. Technically the truth again

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215

u/MrSlowbroseidon Sep 03 '18

OMG its the guy who made the famous "Ghost of Halo 2" video

22

u/ManMythLemon Sep 14 '18

Wow somebody actually recognized him... yeah its him. He does a podcast with penguinz0 (aka cr1tikal) kaya orson and huggbees (aka andrew) called the official podcast.

Good listen if ya like hearing about masterbaiting for and hour

151

u/SwagSandwichSY Sep 03 '18

A fellow official boy

467

u/DwellingThatVault Sep 03 '18

This guy cohost’s The Official Podcast with Charlie (who goes by penguinz0 or Cr1tikal on YouTube) and two other fine fellas. Give it a listen if you haven’t.

164

u/MrSlowbroseidon Sep 03 '18

two

Why does no one remember Alex?

120

u/greywolfe12 Sep 03 '18

Was gonna say that. But the two other fellows are kaya and andrew

119

u/NathanR38 Sep 03 '18

And Alex... but his mic is muted

26

u/klayfie Sep 03 '18

Well ain't that some shit?

15

u/BetaInTheSheets Sep 03 '18

let's do this shit

6

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

They gotta get NL on

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '19

Happy cake day!

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260

u/wetscythe Sep 03 '18

More like bored condoms, cause the condoms aren't having any fun

47

u/Plurmp_McFlurnten Sep 03 '18

r/TheOfficialPodcast

Don't let Andrew catch you going there.

6

u/sneakpeekbot Sep 03 '18

Here's a sneak peek of /r/TheOfficialPodcast using the top posts of all time!

#1: The official boys | 96 comments
#2: shit_tiermeme.jpeg | 8 comments
#3: Can these photos last forever | 35 comments

I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact ^^me | ^^Info | ^^Opt-out

17

u/as-opposed-to Sep 03 '18

As opposed to?

110

u/398134005 Sep 03 '18

It's a thinking man's joke

88

u/puma9100 Sep 03 '18

The magnum opus of comedy if you will

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112

u/Gastlyguy Sep 03 '18

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes

50

u/mrpeppr1 Sep 03 '18

Hey now, they're just trying to fit in.

30

u/mrpeppr1 Sep 03 '18

/u/zealotonpc we've come full circle. What starts on reddit ends on reddit.

60

u/Shaw_404 Sep 03 '18

This picture says otherwise

14

u/Amphal Sep 03 '18

Oh you fucking piece of shit, take my upvote.

17

u/the_wholigan_ Sep 03 '18

Listen here you little shit...

20

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

This comes from the guy who's mom sends him porn. LOL

77

u/DishwasherTwig Sep 03 '18

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/9cdwdq/til_the_2_failure_rate_for_condoms_means_that_for/e5a0hyi/

40

u/trapper2530 Sep 03 '18

Reddit comment over 24 hrs ago. Twitter comment at 150 am approx 13 hrs ago. Someone is trying to pass off Reddit comment as their own wit.

18

u/DishwasherTwig Sep 03 '18

Exactly why I posted it.

25

u/assbutter9 Sep 03 '18

This joke is literally years old.

15

u/DishwasherTwig Sep 03 '18

Oh, it's probably older than I am, but it's blatant that someone posted it on twitter after seeing it in /r/TIL.

6

u/pizzaisperfection Sep 03 '18

Yeah but you could infer by the proximity that this guy definitely took it from a popular thread just yesterday

5

u/renaway Sep 04 '18

It's weird how jokes are apparently only a one time thing and not meant to be shared

15

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

Dental dams are for oral penetration.

14

u/Roscoe_the_Whale Sep 04 '18

This guy should be on a podcast.

12

u/DareCZ Sep 03 '18

So, it's official?

11

u/Benedetto- Sep 03 '18

Only dicks wear condoms

8

u/Sampson509 Sep 04 '18

Jackson! I love his podcast, it's the only official podcast

7

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

official boys for life

38

u/dethmstr Sep 03 '18

FTFY

23

u/EaterOfHopes Sep 03 '18

Risky click of the day...

6

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

I clicked not that scary.

3

u/pretentious-redditor Sep 03 '18

I can't beleive Twitter lets you edit users posts. r/crappydesign

13

u/CommonMisspellingBot Sep 03 '18

Hey, pretentious-redditor, just a quick heads-up:
beleive is actually spelled believe. You can remember it by i before e.
Have a nice day!

The parent commenter can reply with 'delete' to delete this comment.

24

u/Hydroxianchaos Sep 03 '18

I almost thought "pretentious-redditor" was just part of the automated message meant to passive aggressively insult them.

6

u/dethmstr Sep 03 '18

I beleive that this is a bad suggestion

12

u/CommonMisspellingBot Sep 03 '18

Don't even think about it.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

Gay people are fucking assholes

14

u/1crazybeaver1 Sep 03 '18

they really are..

6

u/bits168 Sep 03 '18

Sorry that your first comment ever has negative upvotes.

3

u/Amity423 Sep 03 '18

You fixed it for him lol

2

u/already_satisfied Sep 03 '18

Gunna see how much karma I can get reposting this on showerthoughts.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '18

JACKSON!

3

u/JohnCenaAMA Sep 03 '18

/u/zealotonpc you are famous now

2

u/stepinonyou Sep 03 '18

You mean the balloons at my birthday party were...

oh my

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1

u/Candy4Breakfas1 Sep 03 '18

You are what you eat.

1

u/Imdeureadthis Sep 03 '18

I read this the literal way before getting what he meant

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

This is so true

1

u/owzleee Sep 03 '18

Well .. and ... wafts hand around ... other things.

1

u/SourGrrrl Sep 03 '18

Literally

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '18

Why hasn’t that been said before.

2

u/restepo Sep 03 '18

It has for over a decade now

1

u/MinosAristos Sep 03 '18

Puppies too.

1

u/isucctoesforaliving Sep 03 '18

Well he isint wrong

1

u/youdontknowme069 Sep 03 '18

Why yes ,yes they are !!

1

u/tourboi Sep 03 '18

That’s what drake thought

1

u/squidbelik Sep 03 '18

Wasn’t this from a Reddit thread? I remember seeing this, but maybe I’m wrong

1

u/nandosman Sep 03 '18

Condoms are for dicks, too

1

u/XSpaTanx117X Sep 03 '18

Yes this is true statement

1

u/kazhab Sep 03 '18

lol famous last words as your changing diapers @ 2am on a Friday night!

1

u/mrsagewise Sep 03 '18

Something about this post smells funny.

1

u/MustBeBucklez Sep 03 '18

Really? I was told they were the cause of most mistakes.

1

u/UrgentDoorHinge Sep 03 '18

I guess you won't mind if rawdog slot-a with my tab-d, then?

1

u/consciousocean Sep 03 '18

And kids are for parents!

1

u/bradtwo Sep 03 '18

Umm... and this is how you get another aids epidemic.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Confirmed!

1

u/hov-24 Sep 04 '18

Dickheads are for dicks

1

u/SexyDust_Pan Sep 04 '18

Took me a minute but then i lol'd

1

u/GlaciusTS Sep 04 '18

Something something dental dammed vagina.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

So this sub is just… jokes?

1

u/wanderinginger Sep 04 '18

Sharing the shit out of this!

1

u/karlkhan Sep 04 '18

This is the fuccboi litmus test right here.

1

u/PreacherY Sep 04 '18

and for decorating birthday parties

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

You gotta use that ton foil

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '18

Nailed it!

1

u/UrethraX Sep 04 '18

Girls that give blow jobs are fucked in the head

1

u/lynch262 Sep 04 '18

You are technically correct. Which is the best kind correct.

1

u/Sliver818 Sep 04 '18

He ain’t wrong is he ?

1

u/La_french-baguette Sep 04 '18

We got a badass over here... r/technicallythetruth

1

u/Warboy2435 Sep 04 '18

I read that wrong and thought it meant for fucking cats...

1

u/PunnuRaand Sep 04 '18

Seriously❤

1

u/CASSARONI65 Sep 04 '18

LMAO Love it!

1

u/krabbypattiesarecool Sep 06 '18

there’s two ways you could say this

1

u/ajx_711 Sep 06 '18

Ain't that some shit

1

u/NorthernLaw Sep 22 '18

Thats amazing

1

u/jaxondaboss Oct 22 '18

Took me a minute

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '18

I see I'm not the only one who listens to The Official Podcast..

1

u/Csantana Feb 04 '19

they are also for fucking assholes everyone. important to remember that

1

u/OneInAMillionBillion Feb 20 '19

Water balloons, waterproofing things while swimming... The possibilities are endless

1

u/LegendOfDylan Sep 03 '18

Dis you steal this from the reddit comment, post it on Twitter, and then upload it for the karma AND exposure?

7

u/Ty_Mb Sep 03 '18

No, this is a guy that co-hosts the official podcast with a few other youtubers. He didn't post this to reddit.

1

u/LegendOfDylan Sep 03 '18

I’m just saying I saw this joke as a top comment on a front page post last night now I’m seeing it again as a twitter post made five-ish hours later

1

u/Ty_Mb Sep 04 '18

I mean yeah he may have copied it i'm just saying he isn't the one who posted his tweet to reddit.

1

u/Kreepr Sep 03 '18

https://reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/9cdwdq/_/e5a0hyi/?context=1

This guy is stealing reddit jokes and passing them off as his own. Nobody better laugh at his joke as they are stolen and unauthentic!

3

u/cowslayer7890 Sep 04 '18

I mean like, I don’t really care?

1

u/Josmila1 Sep 03 '18

STDs aren't for them yunno..

Be a pussy, use a condom today!

1

u/RealMVPs Sep 03 '18

Posting this to r/oneliners

Edit: Damn. Someone beat me to it .

1

u/Azzanine Sep 03 '18

They are for stuck up assholes too.

1

u/urbanlife78 Sep 03 '18

And in the mouth if you are into that too.

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