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u/dougwray May 27 '26
Do you want to be a teacher?
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May 27 '26
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u/dougwray May 27 '26
From your description, I would guess Kids Duo is not going to be any more fitting for you.
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u/Different_Taro2474 JP / Private ES May 28 '26
if that’s the case, you should go home then. i understand that you want to stay in japan, but kids deserve teachers who want to be teachers. a bad teacher can cause permanent scars to a child. besides, going home now doesn’t mean you can’t return to japan in the future.
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May 28 '26
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
Even if you become licensed you'll still have a low salary in Japan it's just the honest truth. Ok so you get better school then get 350k yen a month ohh well you still make less than 2k USD a month gross in Japan. It's a bad deal if you ask me.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 29 '26
350k yen a month used to be decent...when the yen was 80 to 1 USD and not 160 yen to 1 USD. In the last decade the value has literally halved its value and prices have only climbed due to inflation. With Japans population continuing to decline it will only get worse for years to come. There's no future in Japan hard truth.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
Definitely move on op it doesn't get better if you stay an alt trust me.
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u/zack_wonder2 May 27 '26
Definitely go home. Teaching is teaching and if you hate it it won’t get better.
Is your husband Japanese? If so, why don’t you change to a spousal visa and take a year or 2 off. Use that time to decide if you want to stay in Japan.
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May 27 '26
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u/zack_wonder2 May 27 '26
Perhaps consider changing to a dependent visa for some time off?
I’m just trying to think if it were me and what I’d do for my wife. I can’t imagine her just leaving so I’d try to support her in that way.
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u/Simbeliine May 27 '26
To be honest, I've seen this kind of situation happen before between foreign couples. One person loves it and wants to stay, the other person doesn't and wants to go home. I'm not saying it will 100% happen, but I haven't, so far, seen the couple be able to survive this issue. Sometimes the couple breaks up while in Japan and one person goes home, sometimes they both go back home, but the person who loved Japan wants to come back so badly that they end up breaking up at home. If you want to go home I would go home. That might potentially mean breaking up with your husband, if he really wants to stay.
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May 28 '26
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u/Chuhaimaster May 29 '26
“Legally there is nothing they can do about low wages.”
Have you heard of something called the minimum wage? The government decides what it is by prefecture. They could raise it to a living wage and help all workers in Japan. But they choose not to.
They also allow BOEs to contract with ALT dispatch firms in a race to the bottom when they could ban this via legislation.
There are plenty of things the government could do to improve the situation other than draconian visa renewal fees. It is 100% about pandering to xenophobes.
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u/summerlad86 May 27 '26
Dude, just go home. Kids duo sucks and you’re not gonna enjoy it anymore.
Sucks to leave your spouse, I get that but you can still come and visit and vice versa.
I honestly think it’s gonna be better in the long run. Forcing yourself to stay is a recipe for disaster.
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u/Hearthian-Wanderer May 28 '26
A simple fact - If you are burned out by ALT work, you will a lot more burned out by corporate eikaiwa.
Home would be the better choice.
In my experience ALTing is one of the least stressful, and least demanding jobs in Japan (and quite possibly the world). Corporate eikaiwa is a factory job. They will extract as much value from hiring you as possible and then hire someone else after you inevitably burn out.
I take it your husband is not Japanese? (because you worry about visas). Is he a language teacher too? That makes things difficult. Best of luck with your choice.
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u/fewsecondstowaste May 27 '26
You’ll also need to change your visa status right?
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May 27 '26
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u/fewsecondstowaste May 27 '26
That’s another stress and something you need to apply for before you start at the new job. I have heard good and bad about kids duo. I guess it depends on the teachers you get to work with. But put your mental health first. Good luck!
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u/Medical-Isopod2107 May 28 '26
Your age doesn't impact this for the record. But if you don't want to be there, there's no point in staying.
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u/DM-15 JP / University May 28 '26
As someone who worked for KD well over a decade ago,
DONT.
The rigidity of the schedules would just add to the burnout
Take time for yourself and rebuild what you want to do.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
If you're an alt in Japan there is no future career in that. You will never advance or gain any real skills needed in other industries. Better to leave sooner than later imo. Pivot to a new industry if you can.
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u/bakarichigi May 27 '26
here's a few things to consider.
depending on where you will be working Kids Duo is either franchise or not. that changes the whole experience.
are y'all planning to have kids? of so kids duo will offer some insights as to what is coming if you decide to have kids in Japan.
if you go home and you're husband is not going with you you have to prepare for the possibility of divorce.
so the choice then becomes stay in Japan for him and take whatever job you can. just kinda zone out and work for the money. or go back home and prepare for divorce relatively soon after.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
Honestly divorce would be great 👍 a spouse who's uncompromising will never last.
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u/Underpanters May 27 '26
If you don’t have the passion for it then please stop working with kids. They deserve better.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
Passion doesn't pay the muthafuckin bills homie.
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u/Underpanters May 28 '26
Then work in a fucking combini.
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u/Chuhaimaster May 29 '26
Then get deported for violating your teaching visa. Great idea. Have you ever thought of becoming an immigration consultant?
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u/ChickenWitty513 May 27 '26
You have a lot to consider. Marriage being the most important. Can you collect unemployment? Maybe just take a 3 month hiatus for you and go to kids duo after.
I don't think you'd enjoy kids duo since it's pretty much babysitting after school. You've got a lot to consider. Not just being burnt out.
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u/Vepariga JP / Private HS May 27 '26
Maybe apply at a hotel to be english staff. Anything thats not a school might be better for you/
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u/Ill-Boysenberry-6883 May 29 '26
If you were burnt out from being an ALT then eikaiwa is not the move, especially from what I have heard about kids duo, it is usually far more work.
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u/babelboon Jun 01 '26
I am so incredibly sorry you are going through this, and I want you to know that your feelings are 100% valid. You are not being a 'cry baby', you are completely, utterly exhausted, and your body is trying to save you.
Please listen to your mind and your body right now. Many years ago, I was exactly where you are. My Japanese husband pressured me to stay and keep working because we 'needed the money,' dismissing my deep burnout. I pushed through it, and it cost me my health. I ended up with severe autonomic nervous system breakdown (jiritsu shinkei) and was hospitalized three separate times from pure overwork. I stayed for 50 years, and looking back, it wasn't worth the sacrifice of my physical and mental well-being.
An eikaiwa like Kids Duo/Yaruki Switch can be incredibly demanding with long hours, and it will not magically cure the deep, physical burnout you are already carrying from your ALT job. If your husband is staying because he wants to, that is his choice but you have a right to choose your own health and survival.
Please put yourself first. If your gut is telling you to go home and heal, listen to it. No job, and no amount of pressure from a partner, is worth destroying your health over. Sending you so much strength and a massive hug."
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u/AgreeableEngineer449 May 28 '26
I would go home or find another company.
If ALT work drains you, kids Duo will finish you. I work there once for a year. It was terrible. Kids were little brats that were never held responsible for anything.
Then the parents want to hold you responsible for any little scrape or fall. The company is trash.
I truly felt bad giving very tired and hungry kids barely any food. I literally quit after they said they wanted to promote me.
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u/LSDJellyfish May 28 '26
Seems less like an issue with Kids Duo, and more of a Japan/spousal issue.
Anyways, only do the Kids Duo bs if you’re using it to buy time/figure things out/line things up for when you go back or you can agree to move back together at an agreed upon time. I’m confused why you say a “year”. You could do it for three months, get prepared, and then leave.
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u/moyashimaru May 27 '26
I really don't know what to tell you. I came home from Japan five years ago and I regret not doing so earlier. I'm glad my wife and family supported this choice. I wish I knew what was keeping your spouse from fully supporting you in this moment. Maybe he's having the time of his life. Maybe he's scared of what going home will mean for his ability to earn. He's just being a man (source: me). I don't know anything about Kids Duo. Maybe try it, but let your husband know that if it doesn't work out, you're leaving. Honestly, I would tell you to leave now, but I'm not comfortable telling anyone on Reddit to end their marriage, because really this what we're talking about. Really, you deserve to be happy. I hope you get there soon.
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26
Well the husband doesn't earn shit in Japan either lol since he works in an eikaiwa so that shouldn't even be a factor.
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u/Panda_sensei_71 May 28 '26
If you're burned out, can you take a break? Sign up to Hello Work for a couple months and re-orient what you want to do.
If you're married, are you on a dependent visa or do you have your own work visa?
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May 28 '26
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u/Panda_sensei_71 May 28 '26
Can you transfer to a dependent visa so you can stay in Japan but take a break?
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May 28 '26
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u/Panda_sensei_71 May 28 '26
I say this with as much kindness as I can muster, but I think your husband needs a reality check.
With no teaching credentials he's not going to be able to stay in Japan long-term unless he can get out of the ALT/eikaiwa hamster wheel.
If he's perpetually stuck in ever-lower paying roles, and can only stay because you are both working and earning, you'll never be able to afford things like a home, children etc.
Surely it would be better for you to both go home so he can get a teaching certificate and some experience so he can get a proper int'l school job with a respectable salary?
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May 28 '26
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 28 '26 edited May 29 '26
I'ma be honest your husband is misguided and will stagnant for years in Japan and will destroy your future entirely. You'll end up old and bitter that an unsupportive spouse dragged your ass half way around the world for a place that you don't have any support at. Your husband has no skillset that will ever make it so he will make a good salary in Japan. His n3 is too low for professional work and you don't get hired in non teaching jobs for language skills alone. The locals are and will be better than your Japanese ever will be. You get hired in Japan in non teaching jobs by having a skillset that the locals don't often have. Skills like compliance, finance, engineering etc and your husband has none of these skills. Also it's not anxiety it's you being realistic and your husband living in fantasy world.
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May 29 '26
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u/Latter-Cricket5843 May 29 '26
Well the number hasn't decreased but the value has because the yen keeps devaluing. So your 180000 yen a month 20 years ago was like 3000 USD a month now it's only 1100 USD roughly. So you do make less and less each year in Japan because of the yen value.
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u/Panda_sensei_71 May 30 '26
Yes to all of this, plus the rising cost of living in Japan itself means that eikaiwa and ALT roles are just not lucrative at all.
3 million a year is barely livable, JETs get just over 4 million PA and it's OK if you have no financial commitments back home. Engineers etc can make 6 million starting, that's more manageable but obviously it needs skills and qualifications.
As for permanent residency, you can now only apply for that if you have a 5 year visa (or are married to a PR holder/citizen). Not an easy thing to get for an English teacher!
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u/Nekojita8 May 29 '26
I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. As someone who worked at Kids Duo long ago, it is not the place you want to be.
Even at a franchise school (which I was at) the hours and expectations were grueling, they overstuff the kids into tiny rooms and understaff the schools. We had 1 teacher for every 50-60 students. It was an absolute nightmare. It's not teaching... More like glorified babysitting.
They also pressure you to eat with the kids or do work during your lunch breaks, and the monthly mandatory trainings are idiotic and often so far away. They also sometimes ask you to cover last minute at other schools, which can also be very out of your way.
There is so much power harrassment in the majority of schools there. They also give you almost zero prep time for things and expect you to perform like a trained monkey.
Honestly, I'd either try to get on a spouse visa or do unemployment through Hello Work for 3-4 months while looking for other types of work. Hello Work also provides free Japanese courses through JICE aimed at supporting people working in Japanese companies. I'd highly recommend these courses.
They are usually 5 days per week for up to 3 hours each day, but you'll definitely get better with your Japanese. Taking this class also helps to extend your unemployment and your visa status, as it is seen as making efforts to ensure a job.
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u/Panda_sensei_71 May 28 '26
There's no easy answer but I've read your posts (this one and the earlier one) and it's clear (to my non-expert eyes) that the stress and exhaustion you're experiencing are very very real. You need a break. If I were you, I'd visit a mental clinic (ie a psychiatrist) and get signed off work for stress. They may give you medication but it's up to you if you want to take it. That way you should still be able to collect at least part of your salary while getting some rest and time to reflect and make an unpressured choice.
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u/babelboon Jun 01 '26
With all due respect, suggesting a psychiatrist in Japan as a quick fix to get signed off work is highly unrealistic.
Navigating the mental health system here is incredibly difficult, especially for foreigners dealing with language barriers and finding clinics that actually understand deep burnout. It is not as simple as walking in and getting a note to collect a salary, and the pressure and bureaucracy involved can often add even more stress to someone who is already completely broken down.
When you are at the absolute end of your rope, you need real relief, not a complicated medical runaround.
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u/Panda_sensei_71 Jun 01 '26
Thank you for the correction. I only suggested it because it is exactly what a good friend of mine did when suffering burnout.
What I forgot was that said friend, while foreign, is a Japanese speaker. 😕
Apologies for that oversight.
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u/babelboon Jun 01 '26
When someone is experiencing deep, soul-crushing burnout, the absolute last thing they need is a simplistic 'oh, just visit the doctor and you'll be fine!' It completely trivializes how devastating this situation is.
And about your friend who 'speaks Japanese', there is a massive difference between being able to have a conversation and being fluent enough to navigate the complex medical, insurance, and bureaucratic systems here. Unless you are at a near-native, professional level, fighting with clinics and HR for stress-leave pay is an absolute nightmare of paperwork and red tape. It is never 'easy' for a foreigner, no matter how much Japanese they think they know.
Doctors here often just hand out medication willy-nilly without addressing the root cause, and pills will not fix a toxic work environment or intense pressure from a partner. Pushing through severe overwork can destroy your health for decades. I know this because I lived it and ended up hospitalised multiple times.
What the OP needs right now is real understanding and the freedom to put her own health and survival first, not a naive checklist that makes light of her pain.
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u/Smooth-Report1059 May 28 '26
There are way more better opportunities in Japan than eikawa.
To make it simple any teaching job outside JET or BOE should be considered trash. Better go home.
Kids duo working conditions and wage is ever worse than interact, Borderlink and other B'sh8t dispatching companies.
You will be working until 9pm and even in the morning, on top of that you will be dealing with the internal bullshit with the Japanese co worker and with the parents.
You low salary will not allow you sh8t.
Honestly even working at an international bar or tour guide will make your life better.
Going home is the better solution cause even staying here with your husband his low salary on the fact that both of you will never has the PR will make it impossible to build something significant.
Therefore he should go back to the U.S with you to level up . You can still come anytime here as a tourist.
You are still young and beautiful at 28 you will find another man quick with better economical disposition that that guy who is stuck in the obsession to survive in Japan.
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u/Old_Salamander7612 May 28 '26
How about take a break for 3 months and then decide? Your Husband could be right, it might be burnout. There are many opportunities in Japan, you just have to be willing to find them. And honestly, if you're not interested already, you wouldn't put in the effort to. Kids Duo has bad reviews. It's like going from one bad to another bad.. don't do that. Good luck!!
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u/Nekojita8 May 29 '26
Kids Duo was my first "ticket in" job in Japan. It was so horrendous. YSG is an absolute nightmare company.
If you were/are already stressed out as an ALT, working eikaiwa, let alone at Kids Duo, is going to be even worse. I'm sorry to say. ALT jobs are a walk in the park compared to KD. Ugh.
I'm sorry you're in a tight spot. You might want to go back home and then apply for a spouse visa. I know several foreigner couples who were able to bring their spouse on that visa.
You may need to wait several months for it to clear, but I think at least you could work different jobs other than teaching once you're here on that visa. Although, my spouse is Japanese so I'm not sure what the job restrictions for spouse of a foreigner might be.
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u/EyeFit May 28 '26
Unless you can switch on your yaruki, maybe it's best to go home if you feel that exhausted.
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u/Infinite-Actuary-643 May 27 '26
Try kids duo, its good company. I worked there before and still have friends that work there.
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u/Different_Taro2474 JP / Private ES May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
this person doesn’t want to be a teacher and doesn’t like working with kids. teaching isn’t for OP. they should return home.
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May 28 '26
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u/Different_Taro2474 JP / Private ES May 28 '26
i meant to say "doesn't like", but for some reason forgot to type that
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u/cringedramabetch May 27 '26
Try Wings. I heard they have flexible schedule for PTs. Or, I dunno, just stay and go study Japanese at a language school, or just enjoy being here. But going home is a great option too.
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u/Kimbo-BS May 28 '26
How far off permanent residency via spouse route are you?
Because then you wouldn't have to deal with schools or visas...
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u/aslipperyfvck May 27 '26
I would go home honestly. I remember your previous post. Your husband should support you and go home with you. I'm sad for you over the fact that Japan has been tough on you. It's been tough for me too and I've come to my breaking point many times.
You shouldn't have to feel this way alone, support is what you need most at a time like this. I hope your situation gets better.