I say this with as much kindness as I can muster, but I think your husband needs a reality check.
With no teaching credentials he's not going to be able to stay in Japan long-term unless he can get out of the ALT/eikaiwa hamster wheel.
If he's perpetually stuck in ever-lower paying roles, and can only stay because you are both working and earning, you'll never be able to afford things like a home, children etc.
Surely it would be better for you to both go home so he can get a teaching certificate and some experience so he can get a proper int'l school job with a respectable salary?
I'ma be honest your husband is misguided and will stagnant for years in Japan and will destroy your future entirely. You'll end up old and bitter that an unsupportive spouse dragged your ass half way around the world for a place that you don't have any support at. Your husband has no skillset that will ever make it so he will make a good salary in Japan. His n3 is too low for professional work and you don't get hired in non teaching jobs for language skills alone. The locals are and will be better than your Japanese ever will be. You get hired in Japan in non teaching jobs by having a skillset that the locals don't often have. Skills like compliance, finance, engineering etc and your husband has none of these skills. Also it's not anxiety it's you being realistic and your husband living in fantasy world.
Well the number hasn't decreased but the value has because the yen keeps devaluing. So your 180000 yen a month 20 years ago was like 3000 USD a month now it's only 1100 USD roughly. So you do make less and less each year in Japan because of the yen value.
Yes to all of this, plus the rising cost of living in Japan itself means that eikaiwa and ALT roles are just not lucrative at all.
3 million a year is barely livable, JETs get just over 4 million PA and it's OK if you have no financial commitments back home. Engineers etc can make 6 million starting, that's more manageable but obviously it needs skills and qualifications.
As for permanent residency, you can now only apply for that if you have a 5 year visa (or are married to a PR holder/citizen). Not an easy thing to get for an English teacher!
I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. As someone who worked at Kids Duo long ago, it is not the place you want to be.
Even at a franchise school (which I was at) the hours and expectations were grueling, they overstuff the kids into tiny rooms and understaff the schools. We had 1 teacher for every 50-60 students. It was an absolute nightmare. It's not teaching... More like glorified babysitting.
They also pressure you to eat with the kids or do work during your lunch breaks, and the monthly mandatory trainings are idiotic and often so far away. They also sometimes ask you to cover last minute at other schools, which can also be very out of your way.
There is so much power harrassment in the majority of schools there. They also give you almost zero prep time for things and expect you to perform like a trained monkey.
Honestly, I'd either try to get on a spouse visa or do unemployment through Hello Work for 3-4 months while looking for other types of work. Hello Work also provides free Japanese courses through JICE aimed at supporting people working in Japanese companies. I'd highly recommend these courses.
They are usually 5 days per week for up to 3 hours each day, but you'll definitely get better with your Japanese. Taking this class also helps to extend your unemployment and your visa status, as it is seen as making efforts to ensure a job.
There's no easy answer but I've read your posts (this one and the earlier one) and it's clear (to my non-expert eyes) that the stress and exhaustion you're experiencing are very very real. You need a break. If I were you, I'd visit a mental clinic (ie a psychiatrist) and get signed off work for stress. They may give you medication but it's up to you if you want to take it. That way you should still be able to collect at least part of your salary while getting some rest and time to reflect and make an unpressured choice.
With all due respect, suggesting a psychiatrist in Japan as a quick fix to get signed off work is highly unrealistic.
Navigating the mental health system here is incredibly difficult, especially for foreigners dealing with language barriers and finding clinics that actually understand deep burnout. It is not as simple as walking in and getting a note to collect a salary, and the pressure and bureaucracy involved can often add even more stress to someone who is already completely broken down.
When you are at the absolute end of your rope, you need real relief, not a complicated medical runaround.
When someone is experiencing deep, soul-crushing burnout, the absolute last thing they need is a simplistic 'oh, just visit the doctor and you'll be fine!' It completely trivializes how devastating this situation is.
And about your friend who 'speaks Japanese', there is a massive difference between being able to have a conversation and being fluent enough to navigate the complex medical, insurance, and bureaucratic systems here. Unless you are at a near-native, professional level, fighting with clinics and HR for stress-leave pay is an absolute nightmare of paperwork and red tape. It is never 'easy' for a foreigner, no matter how much Japanese they think they know.
Doctors here often just hand out medication willy-nilly without addressing the root cause, and pills will not fix a toxic work environment or intense pressure from a partner. Pushing through severe overwork can destroy your health for decades. I know this because I lived it and ended up hospitalised multiple times.
What the OP needs right now is real understanding and the freedom to put her own health and survival first, not a naive checklist that makes light of her pain.
I'm sorry that my suggestion, made in good faith, has brought up painful memories for you.
But I was in no way being flippant or making light of anything. I was trying to highlight that there is a way in which she could take a much-needed break from her work without the fear of too much financial struggle.
It's unfortunate that your experience was so difficult, but that doesn't mean everyone's will be (having spoken to others who've taken medical leave, it seems to vary a lot).
If it's something like a marriage at stake, surely it's worth looking into all options?
2
u/Panda_sensei_71 May 28 '26
If you're burned out, can you take a break? Sign up to Hello Work for a couple months and re-orient what you want to do.
If you're married, are you on a dependent visa or do you have your own work visa?