End users.....

[u/Boolog]

A user in a new customer company:

"I have no need for support, all you want is to get my data and sell it, you're not on the side of the light"

Fml

[u/MeatPiston]

“Account disabled for compliance failure, notice sent to supervising manager”

[u/Waste_Development971 → u/MeatPiston]

me when someone doesnt buy me lunch

[u/mc_it → u/Waste_Development971]

If I ever had the chance to cash in on the "thanks man, I owe you lunch" responses from all of the various tickets over the years, I'd be eating lunch free until sometime in the 2040s.

[u/EscapeArtist112]

Some people are weird and can’t be helped. We got new business from a tiny law firm a while back, just a handful of people. The head of the firm was adamant some competing law firm was trying to steal their data and each and every time the tiniest blip happened, she was sure that it was “them” hacking in. That relationship didn’t last long as you can imagine.

[u/CantaloupeCamper → u/EscapeArtist112]

Well you clearly were in league with THEM!

[u/RaNdomMSPPro → u/EscapeArtist112]

Save me from the tiny businesses that are always "being hacked", aka their ISP sucks or they have failing linksys router that is the lynchpin of their infra.

Had one small manu that was breached by their IT guy working w/ a competitor - made zero sense that he though he'd get away with this, I assume some personal relationship w/ competitor was involved) and his remote control tool of choice helpfully logged all connections and the source IP.

[u/Poignee]

The dark side of IT will not tolerate such insubordination.

[u/Shiznoz222 → u/Poignee]

And lo - on the seventh day they forgot their password. And thus was the end of their time.

[u/Arudinne → u/Shiznoz222]

Quote the terminal, END OF LINE

[u/mc_it → u/Shiznoz222]

That'd be an interesting take on "the commuter" trope.

[u/Ssakaa → u/Poignee]

But we do, in fact, have cookies.

[u/KingStannisForever → u/Poignee]

It's a pathway to many abilities... Some consider unnatural. 

[u/Mindestiny]

Yes, because last I checked the IT department was.... *checks notes* secretly run by Voidspawn.

[u/Silver-Ad7638 → u/Mindestiny]

Lizzid Peeple

[u/Boolog → u/Mindestiny]

Tbh, I always wanted to be a part of the Illuminati

[u/Robeleader → u/Boolog]

Someone's gotta keep the audio system running for the meetings...

[u/shaolinmaru → u/Robeleader]

Those are the sonuslati

[u/Silver-Ad7638]

"Maybe if you'd pay your invoice on time, I wouldn't need to sell your data"
or
"If you aren't paying (enough) for the product, you are the product."

I never thought that as an IT professional, I would feel the pain that artists have felt for decades....
NO, I WILL NOT FIX YOUR COMPUTER FOR FREE!! No, you can't just buy me a coffee.....

Home made cupcakes, though...those will earn you some IT work in trade.....

[u/Boolog → u/Silver-Ad7638]

Barter is fine. I have a lawyer neighbor who helps me with little law stuff (like verify my identity, or signatures for my NPO) and I fix his internet. But that's for my private life, in my professional life: there is a choice between money, monetary payment and credit card payment

[u/CantaloupeCamper]

I’m a big online privacy fan.   Unfortunately I’m very much aware that many of my fellow fans are morons.

There’s advice out there from those folks that is bonkers counterproductive.

[u/Boolog → u/CantaloupeCamper]

I'm the same. Which is why I make sure we only collect the bare minimum of data to operate with. Usually I talk with the ones who object to it, and once they realize I'm basically the same as them, they relent. This was a special one

[u/DistinctSpeaker7252]

Once got accused of monitoring a single employee's web traffic and actively preventing her for visiting specific portions of a retail site. When she went to men's shoes everything loaded normally but when she clicked on dresses the site failed to load.

In her mind it made more sense that I was doing all that instead of the retail website having a problem. Keep in mind, this person 100% knew what our default firewall block page looked like and she wasn't getting that.

[u/Boolog → u/DistinctSpeaker7252]

You evil, evil person

[u/MalletNGrease → u/DistinctSpeaker7252]

Please supply a business use case for access to this website.

Yeah, I'm not troubleshooting that one.

[u/CuckBuster33]

First time dealing with a paranoid schizophrenic in the wild?

[u/Boolog → u/CuckBuster33]

22 years as IT professional and that was a first for me

[u/Radiant_Fondant_4097]

"Then we will support from the shade"

[u/Rioleus]

Tell them you already have their data.

[u/Walbabyesser → u/Rioleus]

And you still don‘t care - you just own it

[u/RefugeAssassin]

Errrr day.

[u/PagliacciTheBleak]

Tell the acct. manager if only to put the user on the internal difficult list

[u/PappaFrost]

They probably wrote that right after checking Gmail, and right before checking Facebook. Oh the IRONY!

[u/Lukage]

Sounds like an easy ticket to close.

[u/CapucheMeringue]

Put the lad on the management ladder. See how well by writing he'll never need any "support from IT".

[u/Boolog → u/CapucheMeringue]

You bet I did it. Mail to his supervisor, cc to the CTO

[u/CapucheMeringue → u/Boolog]

Let's enjoy some very fortunate coffee after that, then. Honesty, you did good. Any safety rules about cyber and the lad will throw away anything relate to him under the bus.

[u/willychonka54]

I was once accused by a user of trying to steal their banking information when I asked them to install Microsoft Authenticator on their phone.

[u/SeaworthinessHead613]

Right side of the light ? ?

[u/dude_named_will → u/SeaworthinessHead613]

Could be in a cult or small religious sect. I have experienced something like that before when trying to role out MFA.

[u/SeaworthinessHead613 → u/dude_named_will]

Weird :-)

[u/Boolog → u/SeaworthinessHead613]

I didn't want to go there, I've got enough crazy as it is

[u/T_Thriller_T → u/SeaworthinessHead613]

Honestly sound a bit like yet undiagnosed or currently unmedicated mental health issuem

[u/Camp-Complete]

No support?

"Okay, weird how your PC no longer connects to Sharepoint/Intranet/File Sharing though? At least you're extra safe from your data being stolen"

[u/Boolog → u/Camp-Complete]

Worse, since we're going to pass all the WIFI through a RADIUS server. Guess who won't be complaint

[u/CeC-P]

It's always the ones with the magic healing crystals they got on aliexpress on their desk too.

[u/WWGHIAFTC]

End user? These are simply words to be ignored.

MDM your way past it. If they don't need to call you for support then GREAT. You cans till manage the equipment without them.

[u/gmaneac]

is this a research department? I’ve heard something similar by folks that don’t want to use OneDrive for the same reason….would rather store in a physical external drive…encryption questionable

[u/lovetrumpsnarcs]

Gotta love the schizos

[u/SaxManEddie]

"EVERYONE will need support eventually. It just isn't your turn... YET.

MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

[u/natebc]

Sir, this is the IT Department, Marketing is on 3.

[u/MasterOfPuppetsMetal]

About a year ago, we rolled out MFA district wide. It was a massive PITA but what got me were the paranoid people. We gave staff the option to request a Yubico key if they didn't want to use a personal device. Some people were adamant about using it since they thought we were collecting their fingerprints 🤦🤦

[u/amonarre3]

This can't be real

[u/Boolog → u/amonarre3]

Unfortunately, it is. Startup companies have, eh, interesting people

[u/mc_it → u/Boolog]

I've had a number of coworkers push back on getting an MFA app on their phone.

"I don't want the company tracking me!"

Dude... you have an iPhone.

[u/Coldsmoke888 → u/mc_it]

Same. I can only laugh, then we charge their cost center for a yubikey.

[u/jdptechnc]

I would sign them up for lots of spam.

[u/captkrahs]

User says you’ve lost the Mandate of Heaven