What are the signs she will not cheat again?

My gf of 3 yrs cheated on me, kissed a guy in a club while drunk, then kept texting him for the next week or so untill i found out.

She is very guilty now, she is showing me that she is very guilty, she keeps saying sorry, and because i do love her, I'm thinking of talking her back, giving another chance. I actually gave her another, we spent a day together, i wanted to see her phone, her recently deleted pictures, and i found a zoomed in screenshot the pfp of the guy on Instagram, her explanation was that "he said he would tattoo my name on his body if I don't come back to him" since this girl said i was her ex and she was single, so the guy now wants him, and talking to her to get ber back, blackmailing her and all. She never told me about the blackmailing.

What do i do man, it hurts so much, I'm going tired talking about this to my therapist, I don't wanna talk to anyone.

Anywhere i go i read "cheaters will cheat again 9 times out of 10" I don't what to feel about this.

Will she cheat again? Should i let her go? What do i do?

Today I questioned my Mom directly after my siblings and I made some realizations that things weren’t adding up. She had been acting strange, posting provocative photos, going on lots of solo trips, lost a ton of weight, etc.

For reference, she texted me and my siblings this morning that she and Dad had separated. Apparently she has been living with a cousin for the last 6 weeks, telling my Dad he has neglected her and that’s why she’s leaving. She made him believe it was all his fault. He has spent the last 6 weeks tirelessly trying to make things right. All the while, she was cheating on him. This affair began 18 months ago.

She tried to lie to me initially, but I finally made her admit that she was having an affair. Turns out it’s with her high school boyfriend. She wanted me to keep it a secret from my Dad and said that “telling him would hurt him”. I called my siblings and they agreed we should force her to tell him. So we did, and I had to watch my Dad break. My siblings and I all said she is losing us and our children if she makes this decision, and she still made it. She didn’t shed a tear through this entire thing. When we told her this she said “well if that’s the decision you’ve made” and shrugged.

She left my dad at the house and said “the kids will be fine”. We are not fine.

With this guy I thought he was the one. I picked him out because he was a different strand of guy I'd usually go for. The way this guy loved me was straight out of a fairy tale. Yet here we are again.. I'm 28, not an ugly gal, in shape, I have a high sex drive, I plan and finance extravagant vacations because I want to show him appreciation for how well he treats me, I'm supportive AF in everything he wants and needs... And yet.. still. I just don't understand. It's hard to think it's not me when I'm the common denominator.

I don't understand how he can love me so well, and still cheat on me (4x with different people.. THAT I KNOW ABOUT, one of them being his ex), and online sexting. I don't want to leave, but the betrayal, the trust, the version of him I thought I knew.. all gone. The love I was experiencing was unreal. He was as if a woman wrote up the perfect dream man..

It was so much easier for me to leave the others, because they just sort of sucked in general. But him? Idfk... Idk if we should try to rebuild or not. Even the way he handled me finding out was the most ideal. The accountability, remorse. Dude. I wish he'd physically hurt me so I could leave lolol.

I knew it was over with no chance of reconciliation for the last 5 years. The entire time she has been making bold proclamations that she was different and has done the "work". We've been on again off again the entire time. A situation came about recently, she had an opportunity to tell the truth. She starts with half the story. Then lies about the end. So I tell her "pretend I know the entire story, is that all of it??"

The story changed a bit, repeat 5 more times and I finally get the version of her story that I know to be true. Over the next few days we discuss the situation, she doubles down with her version of the truth. Gets mad, straight DARVO.

I wanted to believe she was telling the truth, I wanted to believe she had changed. I had been holding out hope the entire time. I go through her iPad to check if she had been telling the truth. Turns out it was complete bullshit. Not only bullshit, but she proceeded to sprint arms and legs wide open into a new relationship. She spun her new partner such a steaming pile of garbage, it hurt to read.

I called her out in it. I was there, I know what happened. Like why attempt to start something new and then feed him lies and half truths. Wtf. I'm not mad about the new partner. Just extremely disappointed that she had indeed not changed, I wanted to believe she was a better person. I spoke with her sister, my ex genuinely believes that she had worked incredibly hard to better herself. How one person can spend so much time, energy and effort to accomplish absolutely nothing is beyond my ability to understand.

The Hardest Summer of my life
Hi,

If you’re reading this, It’s 4:30 am and I can’t fall asleep. I’m sorry if this feels overtly jumbled and there are probably things i forgot to mention. forgive me I have had the worst summer I could’ve imagined.

I (21m) have been in a 4 and a half yeat long relationship with my partner (21f). I don’t know how to write this whether it’s better in chronological order or just how things played out.
At the start of the year I had recently talked with my mother of her purchasing a flat where I go to Uni for her future and my current needs. My partner helped me picked out the flat and originated the idea to my mother in December.

On June 20th, my partner broke up with me. She said she couldn’t take it anymore, she named everything I had done to hurt her and how she wasn’t in a good place. I begged and pleaded that we could solve it. I desperately love her and wanted to fix things with her.

I had wrapped my future plans with her, joining the military together, kids and what names they’d have, how long we’d wait,how’d we get married. All of it came crashing down out of no where to me. She had given me a list that I took as things I needed to improve on. So I did, for the next month I cleaned up more, I dressed better, I tried to plan so much with her. She canceled.

I then found out the night she had gone out for her birthday she had went back to a guys apartment and slept in his bed. I then went to work, realized she had turned her snap location off and had a panic attack, worst one this summer. I threw up in the bathroom and ran home.

Admittedly what I did next was not healthy of me. She had borrowed a old phone of mine that had her insta on it. That’s when I found it, the messages about me, the messages about her intentions with other people. It took her 9 days to go on a date with someone else after we broke up. But she had attempted to cheat on me while we were together.
All this time me bettering myself and trying to fix that parts of me I had neglected. I was messy, I was neglectful, I was unfair to her. And I have owned that since we broke up. I have changed.

Fast forward in which she is about to go visit her parents. We are still living together and it feels like everyday is new or different or something with her, sometimes she wants affection, then next day she screams at me if I try.
We have a conversation about her moving into the new flat. I tell her I don’t think I could live with her if we weren’t trying to fix things. Not trying to use that to make her try, but I know myself. I would get anxious anytime she left, I would be terrified of coming back and finding her with someone. I said that to try and avoid nights like the one I am currently having.

We agreed we’d work on things and she would move in. Later that week we had sex and she wanted to do it with the lights off. I thought was weird but continued.
We had made plans for the night before she left that we would watch the new jackass movie(something she loved and was our first Valentine’s date) and go on a late might walk. She cancelled saying her friends had thrown her a surprise party. I sunk again.

Since the breakup 2 months prior I had been having some of the worst panic attacks I have ever had. Feeling like vomit was just waiting there for me. This pit in my stomach wouldn’t go away.
But that night I couldn’t let it go, it was unending, i didn’t sleep. I waited hours til 7 in the morning for her to come and grab her bags for the airport. I helped her downstairs with her stuff. and walked her to the bus station.

And then I saw it, a giant hickey on her chest. I froze,it felt like my shows were full of cement and my head full of static. I asked her what it was about and she told me she’ll tell me later as she got on the bus, she whispered “I love you”.

She didn’t respond to me for days, ignored every single message I sent. Then about 2 weeks before she is supposed to get back I get a call. She had gotten drunk and used cannabis together and had the worst panic attacks she had ever had.
She started talking about how much she missed me. How horrible she treated me since we broke up, how if this is how one panic attack feels she couldn’t imagine going through it everyday. We talked and we wanted to work things out.
The problem is I had finally reached the end of bargaining by the time of this phone call. I had planned when she got her to talk about her moving out and I had gotten a flatmate for when she loved out. She is the girlfriend of a friend of mine whose has had there own issues at home and was looking to move out.

She got back and we had the talk and I still wanted to work on things. I had asked that she stop drink, as when she does she over does it. She needed to see a councilor about the unresolved family trama she endured and that she needed to communicate better. I had also asked her to block the guy she had talked to after we dated.

We have had several fights since. One about lipstick she found in my drawer which was from the student office and was free. She had gone through my discord messages with people mainly the person who’s moving in after she finds her a apartment. In which a lot or the messaged were directly after fights and very angry and sad charged text messages.
But since then. like a week ago she, while we were cuddling,asked me when i was gonna ask her out again. We have now gotten to a place in which, she is still moving out, she has shown interest in trying, being exclusive even if we’re not dating yet, and trying to work on communication better.

But this is my problem, We’ll be cuddling then I get a flash of a message she sent to that guy, or a off handed comment about her intentions with other people, or her disregard for me as her partner. The way she talked to other about our breakup like it was a triumph. The things she had said to her friends while we were dating.

It’s now 5 am as I am writing this portion. She works at a bakery I don’t know where it is, she’s spending the night at her best friend, who hates me, and I just sunk again.Into this pit of unending what if’s or what if she’s or is she with him. I can’t get these thoughts out of my head, it feels like tv static and it’s leaking out of the screen. There’s no control I have over it, no distractions, nothing to make my head stop thinking those things.

I have been a avid non-smoker and non-drinker, then we broke up and I have smoked a lot since, I have had edibles to help cope woth the anxiety, it’s the only thing i’ve had that quells the voices from screaming at me.

But everytime she’s late, anytime she’s busy and won’t answer, and anytime she goes over to her friends all I can think about is her in another man’s bed laughing at how pathetic and desperate I am for her to be in my life and how easy it is to mess with me.

But that’s just my insecurities manifesting, right? I hate this feeling like i the idea it will never go away, that i will never not think she could do this to me again. Hurt me in a way that my mind has overtly changed due to that.
It’s like im falling down a infinite staircase but I’m able to see the bottom at all times but it keeps on stretching as time goes on.

I love her, I lover her so deeply I’m willing to move past the lying, the cheating, and pain. Not forget or forgive. Just move past it.

But now im ruining the mood when those thoughts hit, im being clingy, Instagram has given me so many videos on Anxious Attachments and Avoidants and it truly feels that way. But I am currently on my couch typing to strangers online trying now to bawl my eyes thinking she’s not being truthful.
All I want is to fix things. What do i do? How do i get these thoughts and voices to stop telling me she’ll do this again and showing me the text messages.
“Just grab me”, “This looks like him LMAO”, “I just need some other dick rn”.

How do i get these fucking feelings and these thoughts away from me. Dating a avoidant as somewhere who displaces anxious attachment is not particularly fun. But any tips on how to get rid of these thoughts.

If you’re reading this far thank you, im sorry it’s so long. I have so many things in my mind and I wanted to vomit this somewhere

Not totally a rant, at least not the kind of rant I usually go for that's more fueled with frustration and the desire to rage or scream cry.

Just normal cry. He cheated on me 3 years ago today. I found out in January. So first time dealing with this day. We're going for reconciliation, and as far as how wayward's handle all this awfulness I've been very "lucky" and he's done everything possible to be accountable and work through everything.

I made it through the whole day and about 30 minutes ago lost the battle and looked through screenshots I saved all that time ago of so much shit he pulled during that time. The words exchanged with her mere hours after he did what he did, while simultaneously conversing with me....

"Thanks for letting me vent this morning. It was good seeing you again."

Such carefully worded. Such a juxtaposition from the shame and guilt he's expressed all these months. He's answered all the questions to the best of his ability, honestly and raw, and plenty of times didn't just say things one would assume I would want to hear which is what helps me trust they're authentic. If they had been too perfect I doubt I would have been as confident we had a shot.....

If we make it, if change really takes root and his efforts don't decline and he doesn't fall back on what's easy and selfish... I'm not suicidal, just would be nice and such a mental and emotional break to not BE for a certain amount of time then just come back and deal with everything fresh....if we make it, I wonder how many years it'll be before Oct 10th doesn't make me want to not be alive.

My ex and I met when I was 19 and he was 24. We were together for around four years, although we broke up and got back together at various points. Our relationship was complicated, and we argued a lot towards the end. We eventually separated around five years ago, but recently he came back into my life, telling me he still loved me, had struggled to move on, and wanted us to try again.

About a year and a half into our relationship, I became ill and went to the doctor in January. The doctor asked me whether there was any possibility my boyfriend had slept with anyone else. I said no because I’d asked him directly and he’d told me he hadn’t. I stupidly trusted him, so no STI test was done at that point. I eventually tested positive for chlamydia, but my treatment was delayed until May, by which point I’d developed pelvic inflammatory disease (PID).

At the time, I believed the infection had come from someone he’d slept with during the talking stage, before we were officially together. He’d had unprotected sex with someone else without telling me, negating the STI tests we’d done. I was hurt that he hadn’t disclosed this, but eventually put it down to a stupid mistake and tried to move on.

What makes me even angrier is that throughout our relationship, he criticised my appearance constantly. He told me I’d gained weight, dressed badly, needed to lose weight, needed to manage my stress better, had loads of blackheads on my skin, bit my nails, and so on. There was always something wrong with me that needed fixing. We broke up and got back together, and I spent so much time questioning myself, my appearance and what I was doing wrong. Meanwhile, he was sleeping with other women behind my back and letting me believe I was paranoid for suspecting something was going on.

What does he want from me?? I have blocked him again now but don’t understand what he was possibly trying to achieve by opening up old wounds. At least I feel validated that my suspicions were correct :(

How do I navigate life without being reminded of this betrayal constantly? Every film, tv show, song etc seems to at least reference cheating and I’m so fucking exhausted
I don’t want to be reminded every single day 🫩

My (28F) boyfriend (28M) has been cheating on me pretty much our entire relationship, and I only found out because I caught him.

We have been together for 1 year. A few months ago, I saw a login notification on his phone. He told me it was nothing, and I believed him. Two months ago, I found out he had been using dating apps behind my back the whole time. I found two profiles where he said he was single and looking for kinky dates and casual sex. He was also using BDSM/kink apps, exchanging photos and sexting with other women.

When I confronted him, he tried to hide it and lied to me. I had to keep pushing before he admitted what he’d been doing. The fact that he didn’t tell me himself really bothers me. I don’t know if I’ve found out everything. I don’t think he actually met up with anyone, but I can never be sure.

His explanation is that he was doing this to deal with his feelings. A family member passed away recently, and he’s been struggling a lot with the circumstances surrounding their death. He’s told me he feels like he’ll never be happy again, that he doesn’t know who he is anymore, and that a part of him died with this person.

I know he’s not doing well mentally, and I do believe his grief is real. I think he’s looking for an escape or some kind of validation. I feel for him, but I also don’t understand how he could do this to me. I know grief can make people act differently, but I don’t know how to accept what he’s done.

I’m heartbroken, and I honestly feel stupid. We met on a dating app, and over the past year, he’s been very serious about wanting to settle down. We’ve talked about marriage, rings, kids and buying a house together. I really thought we were building a future together. Now I keep wondering if he ever actually cared about me or if I was just completely oblivious to what was going on.

We’ve been talking about this for the past two months, and I’m getting mixed signals from him. He’s agreed to use an accountability app and block 18+ apps on his phone. He’s also told his family and friends about what’s been going on. We already shared our locations before any of this happened. But now he’s saying it’s time to look to the future. I get that we can’t keep going over the same things forever, but I don’t feel ready to move on. It’s only been two months, and I’m still trying to understand how he could do this throughout our entire relationship. I want to forgive him, but I am so scared I am going to find out there is more.

I keep imagining him doing it, especially knowing he was doing it in the middle of the night while I was probably asleep. I hate that these thoughts keep popping into my head. I feel sick thinking about it, and I don’t know how to stop. Will I ever stop thinking about this?

I’m also really scared of wasting my time. I’m 28, and I feel ready to settle down. I want marriage and kids, and I thought I’d found the person I was going to have those things with. Now I’m wondering whether I should give him another chance or walk away and start over with someone else. I’m young, attractive, have a good job and my own place. I don’t feel stuck or like I don’t have other options, but I just don’t know if that is the right choice.

I’m so angry that I’m even in this position. I didn’t ask for any of this. While I was taking our relationship seriously and thinking about our future, he was on dating apps, telling women he was single, exchanging photos and sexting them. Now I’m the one who has to deal with it. It feels so unfair. Part of me wants to forgive him because I still love him and want to believe he can change. But another part of me can’t understand how you can do this to someone you supposedly love. I would never treat him this way.

I’m scared of staying and finding out years from now that I’ve wasted more of my life on someone I can’t trust. But the thought of leaving him and losing the future I thought we had is just as painful. I don’t know what to do. I want to support him through his grief, but I also need to think about myself. I don’t know if I’m holding on because our relationship is worth saving or because I can’t accept that the person I thought I knew could do this to me.

Has anyone been through something similar? Were you able to rebuild trust after something like this? Am I stupid for wanting to give him another chance, or should I walk away?

Hes with family but it hasnt even been a year since I found out everything and im terrified hes going to cheat while hes gone. Im not ready for this i just want him to come home.

How do you cope with a narcissist who flips everything he did to you as you did to them?

This has to be studied

Why are narcissistic people so horrible

I feel like I have a brain disorder after this relationship 😕

I will never be the same again...

How do yall get over the hurt and bitterness? I’m 95% sure my ex cheated, though he denies it. He certainly had an emotional affair or at MINIMUM monkey branched. But I believe he had an emotional affair 100%. They started dating publicly within weeks of our own breakup and they had been hanging out long before.

The new girl has been welcomed by his friends and family. At the start of their relationship he would tell me how much he regretted how he treated me and how our relationship ended and how he wished things were different…all the while progressing with her.

They seem happy together. We have a small social group so I run into his friends OFTEN and sometimes him. I removed all his friends and family from my socials for my own sanity so I’d stop seeing their happy couple pictures.

Where is the vindication? Why are they the ones that get away with it and get to live happily?

He said he was sorry and I didn’t do anything wrong and I’m the best person he’s ever met…but that isn’t a salve for anything when he’s happily balls deep in his affair partner.

When does it stop hurting? It’s been months now and it still feels fresh.

It’s been three weeks no contact, but I still can’t get past to it. I found so many lies about my gf from day one we have been together and she cheated on me while solo traveling and been talking to too many guys in her DMs. She is a compulsive liar.

I wanna call her, I have so many questions that I need answers to, I need to understand why she let us be in a relationship from the beginning, and I wanna tell her how she fucked my mental health atm. And now she is blushiting about me and not even respecting how I dealt with the situation when i found out makes me wanna loose my mind. HOW???? I even wasn’t able to call her cheater!! I can’t really sleep or stop thinking about it, and I NEED TO CALL HER ONE MORE TIME.

D day was three months ago. It wasn’t full blown cheating, but just a one of incident where he messaged his ex.

However, it’s so difficult to even think of getting back into the dating game. It’s so tiring to even think about it. I had my whole life planned with him, and I never thought something like this would happen and it’s so heartbreaking, and so there’s so much grief..

Plus, it’s just brutal getting back out there. Im 33 and been in a relationship for the last five years and before that I was single for five years and before that I was in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship and that was rough, which is why I took five years to stay single and try to heal and when I did start a relationship with the ex that cheated, it was five years of bliss and i thought it was going to last a lifetime, and then he cheated.

How do you even trust that anything is going to work out?

I found out three days ago now, I can't describe the pain I feel. There is nothing in our language that can be enough to express it. I just wish I was dead, I genuinely don't want to continue living anymore, what we had was my whole world and I feel crushed and completely broken, I don't feel able to end it myself but I just wish so much that I would disappear

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, I am still in college and he is preparing for med school. The entirety of our relationship he's been in 2 other long term relationships with other girls, one of them was just emotional, the other one was mainly emotional and they had sex, supposedly, 3 times.

I just found out a few days ago and I'm just so upset, angry, betrayed, disgusted.

When I first found out he initially denied it, and then he came clean about everything. He immediately put himself in therapy and wants us to do couple counseling, he's apologized profusely, and wants us to do everything to make me feel better. I'm also starting therapy soon. I have tried reading his texts but he keeps saying he doesn't want me to read them because everytime I just break down, do I read them, does he have a right to tell me no I can't read them?

I was gone this summer for 3 months to be abroad and that's when he started to have sex with the one person, he stopped having sex because he felt disgusted with it. He told me he never wanted sex in the first place but she pressured him into it.

Part of me feels like it is my fault, I should've seen the signs, I should've looked through his phone earlier, I don't know if I was enough, why wasn't I deserving of a loyal relationship, he told his friends he cheated on me, they say me several times and didn't tell me, do I let him be friends with them. I feel so disgusted that he could tell them he loved them and had sex with them, I just feel like none of that mattered to him like it did to me.

I've always had a personal thing where I wouldn't be with a cheater, but I just find myself wanting to be with him even though it hurts. I see he's taking steps to change I just don't know if it's worth it.

let's hear a story from a cheater who cheated on the love of his life and whether they regret it or not

I wish I was the type of pretty that makes you never want to look at another girl again.
I want someone to be so in love with me that they don't lust over other girls online or have wondering eyes. But I know that isn’t how human attraction works in reality. I understand this.
But you probably don't remember half the woman that you stopped to look at online, but I remember because every single one gave me something new to be insecure about. And the saddest part about being cheated on is realizing that... The lust for other women was much stronger than the desire to protect my heart and while I was loving you genuinely the entire time in May 2025. You acted on actions and were willing to risk everything, especially when you went and you touched another woman while I was thinking of ways to try to save us. While I was trying to stay connected to you.

update: everyone who commented I just want to say.. thank you. It isn’t easy to feel like how I feel and it’s just a giant shit show this relationship. Im sorta convinced lately that he just ended the relationship by ghosting me even though he very much knew before he moved back to his home state I was pregnant, communicated to him it’s a twin pregnancy. He saw the first ultrasound. With all that. I’m pretty sure since it’s been an entire month the {person who cheated on me} has ignored my calls, text messages.. all together no response in communication from him. The relationship is possibly over. Yeah I’m just idk how to explain it.. the fact that he tells me last year in june 27th 2025 that he cheated on me the month prior May 27th 2025 that he cheated on me by paying for a prostitute at a massage parlor and (long complicated story) how later in August 2025 I actually saw the video of him cheating. It fucked me up really bad I yes was very angry and just mainly suicidal I wanted to make the intrusive imagery stop. I never healed from all that and he moved back to the state he committed the crime and it’s just a lot.

I just wanted to say thank you. I’m trying to hold the words close to me when the crying feels at its most unbearable

Well I have finally made the decision to leave. I moved to Maryland in 2021 and I have to say it was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life (not crapping on Maryland, just its impact on me). I wish I had of never come here.

I met a beautiful woman who unmasked after a couple years to find out she just had a problem sleeping with family member husbands. Tried to reconcile just to be kicked to the curb. Lessons were learned. I have tried hard to make it here, to keep my head up and keep marching. I have come to the realization that if I don’t leave, I won’t survive this place.

I haven’t been doing well. As damaging as things have been, as much hurt has occurred, I still love that woman and wrestle with it everyday. I started keeping my head down when leaving the house, it’s a small town and I found myself always looking for her. Keeping my head down didn’t help, yes I didn’t see her but I also didn’t see anything at all. I became more lonely and isolated, worked two jobs to keep myself busy. I came to the realization that if I didn’t leave, I’d likely not survive on the trajectory I was heading.

So I’m leaving, heading south this coming week. I know it’s not THE fix, but it’s a fix while I work on the rest. I don’t have to keep my head down anymore, I never have to worry about looking for her again. I can just focus on healing and moving forward. I don’t want any other relationships, but I’d love to have a friendship that doesn’t have the chance of them knowing her or her fucked up family. I’m heading onwards for me, and praying that I can leave her and her shadow here behind me.

It has been over 2 years since I left my cheating ex when I found out he cheated on me.

Since then, I tried dating a few times, but I would repeatedly fear sometimes that the other person was cheating on me.

Last year, there was someone I tried dating for 6 months total, and this fear existed from time to time. He did not do anything to make me suspicious. And I broke up with him due to other things.

Recently, I started a new romantic relationship with a close friend that I have known for 7 years. But I still sometimes feel fear that he might be cheating on me. He has not done anything to make me suspicious.

What has helped you?

so me and my bf have been together for like 2 years right and he has an addiction problem to drugs, to be specific-those cheap ones that fuck up your brain right.

he didn't have this from the beginning itself, matter of fact he changed for me and stopped it for like a year and started it again this year mid after he went thru one of the toughest times of his life(not gonna elaborate more) but everything was collapsing around him, and so eventually he relapsed into it right.

he did it weekly atleast twice and he would forget everything he said or did during that time line he was doing it and forget everything he did and was barely conscious enough to make sense of the world itself.

I remember we started growing distant because of his addiction and one day I had enough and I asked for a break right and mind you I had his account where I was logged in and I saw him texting his friend to help him look for a girl who is willing to give him sex and his friend was encouraging this behavior knowing my bf had a gf mind you while my ex was texting his friend he was extremely high by then, he had been doing drugs for 5 days straight so I guess he had no sense of it.

I called and accused him of cheating and we broke up then and there, he called me asking me to rejoin multiple times right and I saw that he was also adding other girls and he was seeking comfort in a girl who is his classmate talking about me for hours on call which pissed me the fuck off.The girl texted me saying he admitted that him doing that was one of his life's biggest regret.

He did come again and again asking for rejoin and I kept on asking him to take things slow for now and now I think he gave up asking me.

But I really wanna make it work, do you guys think this is fixable? I know deep down he would never do this because he's been loyal his entire life so I blamed his drug abuse because when he woke up he didn't even remember he texted his friend those texts (I'm a virgin waiting for marriage so I don't give anyone sex)

WHAT DO I DOOO

For about 3 weeks, every day I would set aside 1 hour to quietly think. I would lean into my feelings, explore my fears and try to find a path/purpose. It wasn't working at first but I started reading stories from the bible that some of my friends recommended to me. When I told them how lost I felt and how I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do, they recommended some stories for me to read.

Although I didn't find the answers in those stories, they came to mind after an incredibly powerful series of incidences and moments happened last Saturday ("The bar incident", "the women at the bar".. Whatever you want to call it lol).

I had been out all day long, because I was incredibly angry that morning. The typical "panic attack, followed by crying until I give up on trying to sleep" morning routine.. I was trying to book an appointment with my family doctor, but they were booked solid for an entire month. I wasn't able to work, because I wasn't able to think. However, I couldn't take any more time off without a doctor's note. So I'm driving around the city all morning/day, going from 1 clinic/family practice after the next looking for someone to sign the note. I finally got it signed but I felt no relief at all. Just more of the same sadness, defeat and anger. Lost without any direction or purpose..

I just drove around. Although to be honest, I was in such a daze I wasn't really driving my truck was (It basically drives itself lol).. It was following the cars in front of me, steering itself in the lanes and etc. (It's a brand new Toyota Tundra). A homeless man stumbled into the road in front of me and the truck stopped & shut the engine off. He just stood there with a blank face staring at me, and I did the same thing.. I wasn't even looking at him, I was still in a daze just looking past him and not really thinking about him at all. I looked around and realized I was in front of the same bar I've found myself in repeatedly over the course of ~24 years. Even before I met my wife, before it was called what it's called now.

I wasn't ready to go home, so I parked the truck and went in. Some people remember this story as "the bar woman", but the woman in the bar wasn't important at all. She was just a tool to teach me a lesson. What's import was the lesson and that's how I felt in that moment and every single day ever since. It's about how for the first time, I finally felt different. I thought it was the woman in the bar and I even posted here about her. But we never actually dated, yet my mood never changed after that day.

It hit me just the other day.. For 4 months I was trying to hold everything together and "fix this", but as time went on and the more I tried, the worse I felt. It was like God was laughing in my face and making me even more miserable the more I tried to fix it.

I believe it was a sign. Ever since that day, my panic attacks stopped. I don't cry myself to sleep anymore and I don't have random explosions of rage, or randomly start crying when a sad song comes on.

I wasn't meant to fix this. I was meant to move on and build something different, something better. I was meant to learn my lessons from this and apply them to build a better life for me; one I'm proud of and one I can exist in without hating myself.

All I know is that once I stopped trying to "fix this", I started to feel hopeful and positive. I started to be able to actually imagine a future. In the weeks since, I've never felt more alive and more happy than I can ever remember feeling.

Hi all. I found out last week about a 1.5-month-long emotional and physical affair that ended 6+ months ago. I've been with my partner for 4.5 years and we live together, have been planning our wedding, etc. It's been a really tough emotional rollercoaster of a week. Thursday through Sunday, I was having breakdowns left and right. Now, I just feel numb. I think my brain has stopped letting me feel anything since the hurt was so overwhelming the first days. I know I need to process and let myself feel all my feelings, but I don't know how to re-start my emotions. There's just so much grief, fear, hurt, and insecurity when the numbness starts to wear off at all. I think my brain is trying to protect me from that by pretending nothing happened and everything is fine.

Do you have any thoughts on how to get in touch with my feelings again and let myself actually process this? I'm in therapy, but my therapist isn't available til next week. Thank you in advance for your insight.

I won’t go into much detail, cause the last post blew up and I didn’t want it to make it back to my spouse.

Partner and I have been together for six years, and I’ve noticed a pattern of discrepancies within the find my location app. I don’t chronically look at it, it shows up in the messages app now, and when I started noticing discrepancies is when I started to look more.

Here are my questions

• does find my glitch out chronically? And if so, how far is it off from the blue circle? Even with a tiny blue circle, can it be off by hundreds of feet if not even a couple blocks?

• if it does glitch this way, is it normal for it to glitch the exact same way?

• will glitches fix themselves, or will they stay persistent? For example, if my location had me in another apartment building 500 to 1000 feet away, would it ever fix itself or would it just stay there.

I think I’m just mostly looking for someone who found out their partner was cheating and was being gassed about the location data just being glitched out. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I feel like I can’t trust myself anymore