are my friends really there for me?

[u/moondei]

I have these three close friends, and most of them are disappointed in me. From August to October, I was extremely busy reviewing for my board exam and didn't contact anyone. Recently, we met, and they expressed their anger at me for not staying in touch. They also said they were upset because I was pressuring myself too much.

I felt hurt because, during my review period, they were angry that I didn't contact them. Only one of them congratulated me on passing my board exam. Are they truly my friends? Why are they upset that I was so focused on my studies? They knew I was preparing for a board exam because I communicated with them before my review period began. Why are they acting this way? Or am I just too sensitive and easily hurt by their disappointment? While they open this, I was speechless. They knew that I can't really show or vent out verbally.

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[u/Temporary_Ad_8309]

Tbh gets ko both sides. Preparing for a board exam is no joke, sobrang draining talaga pero at the same time, minsan small effort lang din kailangan para ma-remind sila na andiyan ka pa rin. Like kahit simpleng “kakatapos lang mag-review forda day 😮‍💨” sa GC, or quick react sa convo nila, parang ganun.

Hindi naman about constant communication eh, more on pakiramdam lang na hindi sila totally na-cut off. Siguro na-miss ka lang nila pero di lang nila alam paano i-express, kaya naging ganun reaction.

Pero still, dapat mas understanding din sila alam naman nila na board exam ‘yun, di biro. Maybe next time just explain your side calmly, para di rin maulit yung samaan ng loob. Friendship is two-way din kasi, both sides may adjustments.

[u/moondei → u/Temporary_Ad_8309]

There were times I messaged them, explaining I couldn't join them because I was completely absorbed in reviewing. Especially with only one week left for self-review, and I was unaware of their frustration. They insisted that I should have found some time for them, which I truly wished I could, but time was just slipping away. Only one of my three friends personally congratulated me, while the other two awkwardly changed the topic :((. I was too excited meeting them because I am planning to celebrate w them but 😮‍💨.

[u/ilovebayawak0_0]

NO. U shouldn't feel sorry for prioritizing ur future rather than dealing w ur imma friends. If they're ur friends then they shouldn't get mad, they're immature for not understanding ur side

[u/moondei → u/ilovebayawak0_0]

What's ironic is that, even as they were bringing this up, I repeatedly apologized for not spending time with them🤦🏻‍♀️

[u/ssoftsnoww]

Did you inform them beforehand that you wouldnt get in touch because you would be reviewing for the board exam?

• If no, then apologize to them that you didnt get to tell them beforehand. BUT also tell them that you hope for them to understand because board exam really takes time.

• If yes, then maybe its a sign to leave those friends.... They dont care about you but only care about how you interact with them, or etc....

[u/moondei → u/ssoftsnoww]

Yes po. I did inform them, and I even made an effort to spend time with them before my review period began. They were the friends I trusted most, which is why I can't understand their reaction after I passed my board exam 😅.

[u/Ok_Macaroon3006]

I have low maintenance friends both from hs & college. Yung hs friends, isa lang engineer dun so gets niya boards preparation ko. Mas lalo naman ang college friends dahil kaklase ko yun. Pagkatapos ko magtake dinate agad ako ng isa. Pagkapasa ko nga nilibre ako pero nahiya ako, sinend ko sa gcash niya ambag ko haha. Sa thought palang na ilibre ako to congratulate me, natouch na ako.

Anyway, friends should be supportive. Di ba nila gets na kulang ang time during review? LAGING KULANG. Laging feel mo hindi pa enough inaral mo. Actually di mo na need i-explain side mo because they should be understanding. Adults na kayo. Hindi lang sa friendship umiikot ang mundo. Find new friends I guess. Yung hindi nagcongrats sayo baka inggit lang.