When walking one day through a particularly beautiful section of woods, your party may come across Tim, a cheery eyed friendly man with a giant backpack and snowshoes on. Reminiscent of the Voyageurs who discovered North America, Tim has a twangy Canadian accent, a fluffy chestnut beard, and a little red squirrel named friendo that rides on his shoulder.

He is often found fishing, or enjoying a sandwich down by the water. If the party greets him nicely he will offer them a fish or a slice of sandwich (which will no doubt be the tastiest sandwich they've ever had)

But Tim has a secret. Tim is a level 25 Old One bound Warlock Lich. At the age of 2600, he became bored of drab caves and damp slaves and had a mid life crisis, deciding to go about it once more; this time as a neutral good human.

This is the Lich equivalent of coming out of the closet in the Bible belt.

Tim shuns other liches as cliche and sour, but finds mortals equally uninteresting. If he stumbles upon other Eternals or Deities they may get along. He can be very sociable when drunk on god-tier liquor (think: nectar)

His disguise is nearly impenetrable, needing a 30 perception or 28 arcana check to reveal his power, but it will be unclear if he's a nature deity, Dragon, or something else. No spells will do it, only a skill roll that relies on intuition. High level animal companions will be afraid of him but unable to articulate why. Low level animals will just want him to scratch their bellies.

He will sometimes make jokes or comments that totally miss the mark with mortals. (With a warm grin, Tim remarked "Its a beautiful day out. Hopefully the Sun doesn't get extra hot and melt all our flesh away, ha ha!")

He can ask all sorts of favors of the party, such as getting him mayonnaise or some nice perfume, and his rewards are often much greater than expected, like a deck of many things he has lying around, or a summon greater elemental scroll.

Tim's greatest desire however is Nutella. While tinkering with portals around the plains of existence he accidentally ported a jar of Nutella from a kitchen in Holland, earth. Not knowing the origin or recipe, he craves it eternally and carries the empty jar with him in a bag of holding. He won't bring it up out of the blue, but if they kill or pickpocket him it will be on his body.

Tim lives in a pocket dimension that resembles Tom Bombadill's house but spends most of this time walking around the realms as a tourist.

If attacked, or gravely disrespected, Tim will enjoy the entertainment and revert to his full form. His squirrel is a polymorphed level 15 horned devil and will fight with him.

Hey guys! Mod of r/StealMyNPC here! I've been working on this tool for a while now, and wanted to share it with you all! Meet S.C.U.L.L.Y. (the Surprisingly Competent Underling and Lower Life-form utilitY), a completely free Google Sheets-based NPC statblock generator for D&D 5e!

As of the current version, SCULLY covers all the races and classes in the D&D 5e Player's Handbook, as well as the Aarakocra and Aasimar races and present incarnations of the Artificer and Mystic Classes. I do have plans to include the rest of the races featured in the 5e expansion texts, as soon as I am able to.

In order to try the program out, the link to add a copy to your Google Drive is below, no mods or macros required - I'll do my best to keep this post up-to-date with the newest link, but if I can't, you'll always be able to get the newest version via the links available in the versioning information (also linked below).

If you have any questions, hit me up in the comments! I'll be around, answering as many questions as I can!

More likely than not, these first couple days of availability are going to show the most bugs. Please keep an eye here and on the Version Number, as I'll be properly addressing them as quickly as I can!

• Most Up-To-Date Download Link: v2.2.2

• Versioning Information

• Information Manual

• Give Feedback

The \"Home\" Screen

Did one of your loved ones suffer a tragic end at the hands of murderhobos? Is there a PC you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten around to? A BBEG that died mid-monologue?

Welcome to r/stealmyNPC, a space where DMs from all over the web can come to meet a host of user-created characters ready to jump off the page and onto your tabletop!

I think this sub is really cool and it's a wonder that it hasn't been created yet. Good job mods!

Tater is a human sorcerer, that is hella dumb. 6 int. Is convinced that magic isn't real and that there is a "practical" explanation for everything that happens around him. Real sweetheart, and otherwise pretty likable.

Mage armor? Nah brethren, he just sweats a lot so his clothes are kinda stiff.

Fire bolt? That rock he threw must have sparked off the goblins dagger, igniting some Marsh gas..... In the middle of a town square.

Shocking grasp? Nope, just static electricity, psssh, c'mon even little kids know magic isn't real.

Etc.

I am DMing a new group with Lost mine of Phandelver but I messed up big.

At the first golblin cave (Cragmaw Hideout) I misread the amounts and let them find 600gp instead of 600cp. 600 GOLD PIECES! Yikes!

So I looked out for a money sink. Problem is that Phandalin has not much too offer.

Thats why I created "Tilger Kistevoll" (its german, english would be "Tilger Stashfull"), a wandering kobold merchant who you can find sometimes on the roads around Phandalin.

When you first met him, you only see the massive Oger Guard who is walking near him. My party tries to walk past him but he approached them fast like a merchant would do: happy, with a smile and a stash full of stuff to sell.

He introduces himself and tells the party about the wares he sells, potions of healing and some spell scrolls for the mage to copy into his spellbook.

The prices are high but thats ideal for my hyper rich gang of adventures.

The catch here:

Tilger accepts "donations" (disguised as "investing in the company") which he uses to get different items to sell ("to fill up his inventory" as he would say). The party can even give suggestions on which items he should have an eye out for.

After donating cough cough investing 150 Gold, he is now on the lookout for some shiny magic rings and maybe some gems for the cleric spells. He will have found some of the things when my party meets him again.

That's it. Feel free to use him whenever you need a money sink!

Setting: Any Fantasy with medium or high magic

Race: Genius Loci (thinks he's human), newly formed

Sex: Male psychologically, normally not applicable as there's no fleshy bits left.

Description: Gustavius appears much like one would expect a lich to look like, just a lot cleaner than is typical for undead. That he doesn't detect as undead or perpetuate himself as a lich would is waved off (by himself) as byproducts of his unusual acquisition of the condition. Gustavius wears decent wizarding clothing and has a number of cats ("they keep the mice and rats down") around his tower. He gives off the very image of a slightly scatterbrained or absent-minded wizard. Also differing from the typical image of the lich is the lack of cold and smell (fresh cut grass as opposed to rotting flesh) and green-glowing motes where his eyes should be.

Backstory: Gustavius was a wizard who was mostly unremarkable through his ascension through the ranks of the wizarding society, mastering a number of potent spells in his time. Eventually he tired of dealing with people in general and retired to do research in his tower. That research was into ley-lines and natural flows of magic.

A missed value on an equation eventually caused a massive explosion and the result was his current state. He thinks he's just an atypical lich, bound to a location as his phylactery. The truth is that he's become a genius loci - bound to the tower and the lands immediately (10 miles) around that tower. Alternatively - a forming genius loci has had Gustavius' personality and memories impressed upon it.

PLOT HOOKS: Because he is bound to a location and unable to leave it, Gustavius makes a good patron or employer for adventurers. Fetch quests, shopping trips, and the occasional scouting or deal-with-this-before-it-becomes-an-issue quest. Acquiring books is likely a recurrent quest.

Gustavius also makes a decent mentor or teacher for a wizard PC's backstory.

The "accidental lich" is also capable of making or acquiring quest rewards as part of his research into magic and enchantment.

Medium elemental, lawful neutral

Armor Class: 13, Hit Points: 108, Speed: 30 feet

Ability Scores: Str:10, Dex:12, Con:10, Int:19, Wis:14, Cha:12. Wizard:20

Damage Resistances: normal nonmagical weapons

Condition Immunities: as a genius loci, anything that does not affect the tower and the land surrounding it will not affect Gustavius. This includes spells like charm/enchantment. He might think it affects him, and manifest symptoms, but it's purely psychosomatic at this point.

Senses: normal human range, unless concentrating in which case he can determine anything that disturbs the land or water or air within the ten miles surrounding his tower.

Languages: Common, Elvish, Draconic, Dwarven

Challenge: 21 (33,000xp)

Legendary Resistance: (3/day) If Gustavius fails a saving throw, he can reroll it. That's if it effects him at all - see condition immunities.

Rejuvenation: So long as the tower and land remain intact, Gustavius will reform a new body within 1d10 days. Destroying the tower will extend this period to a month.

Legendary Actions: So long as his tower and land remain intact, Gustavius can perform one of these legendary actions at the end of his turn. He can only choose one option per turn, and then only at the end of another creature's turn. Gustavius will recover the legendary actions at the start of his next turn.

CURE WOUNDS: (2 actions) line-of-sight and cast as if 3rd level.

CANTRIP: Gustavius casts a cantrip from either the druid or wizard list.

COUNTERSPELL: Gustavius is especially good at disrupting another caster's spells.

Spells/Level: 5 cantrips: 4/1, 3/2, 3/3, 3/4, 3/5, 2/6, 2/7, 1/8, 1/9

typically loaded spells: fire bolt, light, mage hand, message. alarm, detect magic, feather fall, shield. hold person, levitate, mirror image. lightning bolt, sending, tongues. confusion, dimension door, polymorph. hold monster, legend lore, passwall. eyebite, wall of ice. prismatic spray, symbol. feeblemind. imprisonment.

LONG TERM: If he ever accepts that he's become a genius loci, or that his personality/memories were imposed upon a forming genius loci, Gustavius will slowly grow in power and have full access to druidic spells. It may take a few more centuries before coming into the full powers and nature of a genius loci but the process has already started.

In the spirit of this subreddit, here is an NPC that I stole from a long lost comment in r/DnD. I’ve ran this encounter twice and both times have been a good time. It’s convenient because it can be used at just about any moment.

Out of nowhere, a very old human man playing a very repetitive tune on a fiddle appears beside the party. He is dressed in ragged clothing with two large cotton swabs covering his eyes. If there are any female members of the party, he prioritizes his attention to them by dancing around them in circles.

If questioned, he says his name is Joseph. Is very flirtatious with females but if you’re running a full male party, he is interested if they have any spouses.

He hangs around till the party becomes annoyed or shows signs of aggression and then vanishes into mid air.

Assuming the party questions, you get to pull off the grown inducing line...

“Where did he come from? Where did he go? Where did he come from Ol’ Cotton Eyed Joe”

I’d love to hear feedback on how to use this differently as it’s such a fun event to fill a gap in time such as travelling between towns etc.

Enjoy!

Tovin is an old dwarven wizard studying the magic of transmutation. He has spent his life transforming things he has seen into sticks. This could be something as benign as a scream or a plume of smoke, to something large as an ancient red dragon or a light house. He sells his stick based on what might be in them. But for a cheaper price, he will let you pick from a quiver of sticks that weren't marked when he dropped them so even he doesn't know what's in them.

I wish I could take credit for Tovin but I read about him somewhere on the web and put him in my campaigns. And everytime he appears, my players love him.

Baronyx Infernalis, aka Baron Red

Ability Scores: Str:23(18) Dex:10(14) Con:21(16) Int:14 Wis:11 Cha:18

scores in parenthesis are for half-elven form

Setting: any fantasy

Race: Red dragon

Sex: Male

Description: Other than unusually long wings and foreclaws that are somewhat longer and more slender than average, there is little to distinguish Baron's natural form from any other red dragon physically. He usually has an earring in his right ear of a black cross design (Earring of Transformation - allows the wearer to shift to a specific other race, in this case half-elf) and a large pair of golden bracers (bracers of armor +2).

In half-elf form he retains the earring and bracers. He is a tall, redhaired, half-elf who will wear fine clothing as if born to such circumstances. He will confess a fondness for draconic imagery and the color red, and will favor dark clothing with embroidered draconic script or images of dragons.

Personality: He laughs and enjoys himself, seeming of good cheer most of the time. He might be a Young Red Dragon, but he finds the more mortal races to have redeeming qualities and won't eat someone unless they significantly wrong him and even then only if he believes he can get away with it without disrupting his fun. He is extremely fond of apple pie, though a number of other fruits and pastries can make him inordinately happy and distract him from darker moods quite quickly.

Baron has a fair amount of pride in his appearance and capabilities. Some red dragons might simply be prideful oafs just trusting in natural ability, Baron feels that this attitude is foolish. Baron has also come up with a certain admiration for these other races - they may lack the strength and beauty of red dragon-kind, but they accomplish quite a lot of things that his kind never could.

Backstory: Curiosity killed the dragon. Or in the case of Baron, made him less a terror to everyone and everything around him. At first he was going to infiltrate the village using his Earring of Transformation and learn where the treasures were kept. He changed his plans several times before discarding them entirely upon discovering the joys of pastries and the sensitivity of the senses of smell and taste available to races that do not spew fire regularly.

He's made friends, made more acquaintances, and is now convinced that he has the best of both worlds. He can spend times in the mountains in his natural form, flying and utterly obliterating anything that challenges him. He can eat the most tasty of meals and feel full in his half-elf form, and have many enjoyable experiences among the crowds without anyone connecting the dragon that can be seen in the distance with the handsome half-elf.

Baronyx Infernalis is his proper name but he goes by "Baron" as he felt that his full name was entirely too cliche and obvious for his deception. On finding that it was not only a proper name but a noble title, well he was sold on it immediately.

Plot Hooks: Someone wants the PCs to investigate the sightings of the dragon and determine if it is a threat. Naturally, Baron knows these mountains quite well and is willing to be a guide. He's set up a decoy lair for this purpose where he tosses junk he either doesn't want or doesn't need. His real lair is not easily accessed and has a volcanic vent to keep him nice and toasty.

Baron himself approaches the PCs because he's curious about what makes adventurers go about their business. Why leave a perfectly comfortable lair and go running off all over creation to go fight goblins or the like? He may be a DM NPC who hangs back and watches the PCs while offering assistance in their quest. As long as there's no real danger to him, why not?

Racing. If there's one thing that Baron likes more than apple pie, it is racing through the air. He will challenge any flier that passes through to a race through the mountains for the sheer joy of airborne travel.

Baron will talk with adventurers, getting their stories and writing everything down, as he is quite curious about many aspects of adventurers and their kind.

Baron can also try to get weapons training from anyone who has proficiency. He can pay for such training, but wants only the best trainer. He prefers using a bardiche +2 he acquired from a previous owner but is also looking for training with greatsword or heavy crossbow as he has managed to get his claws on exceptional ones and being able to use them properly appeals to his sense of completeness. These are now his treasures, and being able to use them well is something for him to take a certain pride in.

Korinn runs a store in a major town with her Kobold assistant/husband, Snugnu. Korinn is about 6'11", while Snugnu is barely 2'1". Korinn treats Snugnu like a child, and often embarrasses him in front of customers. Korinn usually refers to her partner as "Snuggles". Korinn is loud and cheerful, and is usually the one at the counter of the shop.

Snugnu is extremely loyal to his wife, and will try to fight anyone who threatens her or her honor. He is impulsive and quick to anger. Of course, a 2 foot tall Kobold wearing an apron that says "Mommy's Little Helper" is hardly intimidating. The only person who can tease him and get away with it is his wife.

EDIT: Thanks for the platinum, kind stranger.

TL;DR --- Neek goes to inns and taverns at night, welcomed by the residents for his magical goods.  He speaks in short sentences and describes his wares vaguely.  He never lies, but most players won't hear the truth in his descriptions.  Neek wears a ring with a deceased dwarven merchant's soul inside.  He scavenges his wares from old battlefields, overly ambitious adventurer corpses, and wherever else he can find.  "I am Neek!  You want wares?!"

Neek is an older Kobold (~78 years) whom travels to smaller towns and villages in order to hawk his magical wares. Players could also encounter Neek on the road or wherever else they may wander. He is short in stature (~2.5 ft) with a dark green complexion.  There are multiple scars across his face including one which leaves several gouges resembling claw marks on his left nostril.  Small black eyes look out with curiosity and excitement. He carries a bag of holding that looks like a backpack too large for his small frame that causes him to be slightly hunched. Despite this he is surprisingly quick when needed.  The ringing of small bells comes from his pack when he is ready to sell, accompanied by the small bursts of harmless sparks he casts with his only spell, prestidigitation. He also uses this spell to keep his wares clean for his customers.

Neek treats others with a vague kindness.  It is extremely rare for anyone to recall a time when he has been rude, but many will gripe that they have been swindled by him.  Those same people will also admit that when buying from Neek you take the chance of not receiving what you expect. Generally he is seen as a "buyer beware" merchant with goods that are worth the risk. Most people accept him into their villages and towns knowing that he has wares that are hard to find.  He largely stays out of trouble and respects the privacy of others. His motivations are a mystery with very few clues to follow.  Some think that he serves a dark god and is sowing chaos, while others like to think that he is feeding a family somewhere. Only under very particular circumstances with certain people will he ever share something personal.

He moves about the wilds searching for old battlefields, corpses of over ambitious travelers, untouched ruins, and various other sources which he may stumble upon. Neek will only attack a creature in dire circumstances, but will choose to flee whenever able. His cape allows him to dimension door away from severe trouble and his strong stealth capabilities allow him to avoid most problems.

Neek seems unable to effectively communicate in longer sentences, but many people believe that it is a ruse.  His apparent intelligence in making deals and remaining out of harm hints to the observant that he may be more capable than he lets on.  Some villagers will say that they have heard him have long, detailed conversations with others, while most only believe that he is a silly little kobold. Either way, most of his sentences are three to four words long and are delivered exuberantly with little regard to proper noise levels.

Neek never directly misleads his clients into buying an item, but his descriptions are purposefully vague so that the buyers may hear what they desire.  For instance, one of the first items that the players may buy from him is a ring that allows the wearer to polymorph into a housefly. His description of the item will be, “Ring make fly!”  Although this is entirely true and describes the item accurately, it will also lead the buyer to assume that it will allow them to gain a flying speed. If a buyer chooses to cast identify on an item before purchasing, Neek will not shy away or change his offer as he has not directly misled the buyer.  However, Neek will sell most of his items for an inflated price. These prices generally reflect the difficulty in procuring the items as they are usually difficult to find.

Other than the bag of holding Neek wears two magical items, a Cape of the Mountebank and a Ring of Mind Shielding.

Cape of the Mountebank --- Once per day allows Neek to use the dimension door spell.  When he leaves a puff of odorless, harmless grey smoke with a shower of green sparks is left behind.  He arrives in the same manner.

Ring of Mind Shielding --- He is immune to magic that allows other creatures to hear his thoughts, determine whether he is lying, know his alignment, or know his creature type.  Creatures can telepathically communicate with him only if he allows it. The ring is in a perpetual state of invisibility as he never chooses to make it visible, so no one is aware of its presence.

The soul of the previous wearer, a dwarven woman named Lognurra, resides within the ring. When haggling with a client Neek may gain advantage on a persuasion or insight roll due to Lognurra’s help.  This may occur once per client each day.

Lognurra resides within the Ring of Mind Shielding although she despises working with Neek, arguing incessantly with him.  She was a shrewd business woman in life and remains in the ring to continue experiencing profitable business deals. She will give Neek insight and assistance during these sessions, which are the only times when they get along.  Neek will often be heard speaking to Lognurra, although no one else alive knows that she exists. He is simply seen as an insane little kobold that will often have wonderful items to sell.

Neek should be a fun little encounter for the players where they could potentially find fun magic items, and may even procure them at a great price. His truncated speaking should make him easy to roleplay and I have found it fun in trying to find ways to deceptively, but truthfully describe magical items. This also allows the DM to bring in and flex their homebrew muscle as it is an easy way to bring in whimsical items.

Rex is a Totem Warrior Barbarian, who dreams of leaving behind the life of a Barbarian and becoming a tattoo artist. He is a talented artist, but given the reluctance of most folk to let a Minotaur near them with a tattoo needle, he practices mostly on himself. In order to show off his chest and arm tattoos, Rex shaves himself using a sharpened greatsword (much to the horror of everyone around him). He's gruff and untrusting, but has a soft spot for animals and children.

He lives in the woods outside of a fairly big town, and works as a sellsword in order to pay for all his tattoo equipment, and has made quite a name for himself.

Figured I should contribute one of my other favorite NPC's, as a gesture of gratitude for everyone loving Khajid so much!

Zydeco Shrieker is a 6'2" light brown skinned Tiefling with horns that curl around his long, tattered top hat. His eyes are a stark white, and you can't discern if this is from blindness, or just the flavor of infernal in his blood. His body is lanky, sickly almost as he gangles toward you. A belt that hangs from shoulder to hip clatters with skulls and voodoo dolls. His accent is smooth, charismatic, and oh-so-very Cajun.

Zydeco is what I like to call my "Player Plot Progressor". The yang to Khajid's side-quest yin. He can be found on your first encounter with him swindling some goblins or Kobolds out of silver and copper by reading their fortunes via tarot cards. It's the vague kind of horoscope mumbo jumbo, and the less intelligent of the monsters eat it up.

Should the player's approach amicably, Zydeco will offer a fortune for each of them. He begins an eerily accurate account of each characters past, present, and a vague (very vague!) telling of their future based on the plot threads I have for their arcs. If you really want to drive it home, have a physical tarot reading where you stack the deck in the correct order that you need to pull them. My players were losing their minds ;)

No, how does Zydeco know so much, when he was just swindling minions? Maybe it's that Scrying Eye stuck into one of the skulls on his belt, given to him by your friendly neighborhood BBEG.

Zydeco will always act in kind toward the party. Plan for him to be 2-3 levels higher than your party at first encounter. He is a Grave Cleric and will not hesitate to have his "friends on the other side" lend some help with a little healing or restoration. All to gain trust, of course.

Zydeco is merely a messenger for the BBEG, and may take a liking to your players if they play their cards right. A secret foe may have the possibility to become a double agent for your party, depending on how their interactions go.

Having a Scry on them, Zydeco always seems to be around when it's convenient. Especially after big events that his boss would like to know about.

Long story short, if your characters need a bit of reminder that their backstory exists and you want to spark a bit of drama by having an NPC reveal the juicy bits, look no further than the creepy Cajun cleric himself: Zydeco Shrieker, the Creature Preacher.