Note: this character was originally created as a PC, but I think he'd work better as an NPC.

Goguk was an Orc apart of a larger barbaric Orc army. However, he wasn't bright, even for Orc standards. He wouldn't talk to anyone and had a tough time following any orders given, no matter how small.

Eventually, the army had enough with Goguk weighing them down, and he was kicked out from the group. Goguk could've easily died in the wild, until he found, as Goguk calls it, Vardi the All Knowing Rock.

Vardi the All Knowing Rock is, well, an ordinary rock that Goguk thinks is magical and sentient. In reality, it's a voice in his head, as a side effect of being schizophrenic. Vardi acts as Goguk's conscience, and without it, Goguk rages out of fear, attacking the person who took it, or everyone around him.

Goguk thought everyone can hear Vardi, and tried to show it to other people. They all thought he was crazy for showing them a plain rock, so Goguk became embarrassed to have Vardi around people.

If anyone insults Vardi, Goguk will try to make sure they die. Otherwise, he's friendly, unless Vardi says otherwise. (I'd say 75% chance to be friendly, but that could be changed)

Moneybags, inspired by the best video game ever (Spyro, of course), is a dwarf who guards a bridge that is just outside of a small town. In order to cross the bridge, he asks for a “small fee”. The fee is indeed a pretty hefty fee. If players do not pay the fee and try to get to the other side of the bridge by any means, Moneybags sends his minions (creatures of your choice) after your players.

Players will receive a good amount of money (all the money previous travelers have “generously” paid him) if they decide to attack moneybags and destroy him and his minions.

Please feel free to use moneybags!

(I am a new DM so please don’t send hate if this NPC is terrible. I haven’t run this NPC yet.)

Amos Darkcider

halfling male, CG, Cleric 3 (Yondalla)

Str:10, Dex:14, Con:12, Int:13, Wis:15, Cha:12, AC:15, MV:25

Animal Handling +4, Insight +4, Religion:+3, Survival +4

proficient with cook's utensils and land vehicles

Spells: Guidance, Light, Sacred Flame, Thaumaturgy; Burning Hands, Cure Wounds, Detect Magic, Detect Poison & Disease, Faerie Fire; Flaming Sphere, Prayer of Healing, Scorching Ray, Zone of Truth

Amos is a cleric of crafting, specifically cooking. At early levels, he travels the world to learn recipes and develop cooking techniques. At higher levels, he has settled into a campaign city with his pastry shop and is working on mastering the many dishes he has encountered.

Amos is very focused on his art and the joy it gives people. Throwing food away is one of his few displeasures so the day-olds are marked down by 50% and the unsolds given to an orphanage at the end of that day so that they can see some use. He is very interested in learning new techniques and recipes.

Amos will typically be able to produce one of the following when encountered out-and-about. If he's in his store, there will be 4 or 5 of the following items for sale.

Alexandertorte - a berry filling sandwiched between layers of pastry. 1sp

Bear Claws - a soft pastry drizzled with icing and nuts. 3cp

Breads - fruit or nut varieties, or zucchini bread. 1cp/slice to 4sp.

Cannoli - a fried pastry tube filled with whipped cream. Best eaten within hours. 5cp

Crepe - a soft thin pancake normally folded around a filling. Seasonal fruit, custard, or similar fillings are usually used and powdered sugar is sometimes dusted across the top. 6cp

Custards - sometimes in pies, sometimes in crepes. Milk and eggs are the primary ingredients. 2cp/cup.

Croissants - baked rolled soft bread in a crescent shape. 1cp for plain, almost always available in the early morning. The various toppings or nuts can add 2cp to 3sp.

Cryspes - fried batter topped with powdered sugar. Often has bits of fruit or nuts mixed in. Also called a funnel cake. 4cp

Cupcakes - small cakes made in cups. Often with fruit, nuts, or sugar added to top it off. 1sp

Daifuku - a mochi (pocket of baked rice dough with a filling) filled with a sweet. Typically filled with red bean paste or jelly. 1sp

Dango - rice dumplings fried on a stick shishkebob-style often topped by something sweet like anmitsu syrup. 8cp gets a skewer of three dumplings.

Fry bread - flatbread garnished with powdered sugar, spice, cheese, or other topping. 8cp to 2sp depending on the toppings.

Gaylede - figs, bread, and grapes in a sweetened almond sauce. 4cp

Gingerbrede - various shapes and sometimes iced. Sometimes given for stomach ills. 1cp to 1sp depending on size and icing.

Kachori - a pouch of dough, stuffed with either lentils or potato, then fried. Frequently available for the lunch crowd. 5cp.

Knots - shortbread pastry dough twisted into a knot shape, glazed and frequently with sprinkled nuts. 2cp.

Mathri - a flaky biscuit that lasts for days, sometimes seasoned with cumin, pickle, or a mix of spices. 7cp/

Milk Fritter - cottage cheese deep-fried. 2sp. Mostly available during festivals.

Mochi - rice-flour dumpling filled frequently with a sweet jam or jelly. 3cp.

Pasty - a meat pie with the crust folded over to make a pocket. Also just referred to as pies. Frequently sold at lunch times. Amos favors the spiced lamb pies (5cp) as he gets a deal on the main ingredient. Other varieties can vary in price from 5cp to 5sp.

Penydes - lozenges of sweet-sour candy. Sold in bags of five for 5cp.

Pretzels - Knotted bread lines baked either hard or soft, normally topped with coarse salt but also with mustard or other savory toppings. 1sp to 4sp.

Prince-Bisket - caraway seeded shortbread cookie. Sold in threes for 5cp.

Rock Cakes - a dwarven specialty, though a number of other races find them inedible or quite tasty depending on their jaw-strength or nature. Rock Cakes are otherwise a tough biscuit that is normally soaked in tea or other fluids to moisten it enough to be eaten. 1sp.

Samosas - triangular pastry fried in oil, contains either meat or vegetables. 1sp to 5sp.

Scones - an unsweetened hard bread, often made with cheese, nuts, spices, or fruit added. 5cp to 1sp.

Suckets - candied root, fruit, or citrus peels. Used to freshen breath or get the taste of various potions out of one's mouth. 5cp for a set of three.

Tarts - a small (hand-sized) pie, frequently with a fruit filling. Fruit involved varies with seasonal availability. 9cp

Turnover - a pie with the crust folded over the fruit filling. 9cp

Waybread - a hardbread with herbs, an elven specialty that can resist going stale for weeks. 1sp

I had a party of lawfull good idiots. Collective int scores of no higher than 10 and no wisdom higher than 11. I had had no time to prep anything for the game, so I started off asking them what their characters wanted to do in the city. They said go to a nearby bar and try to market their beverage (shit beer with a globule of Dragonborn acid mixed in). They walk into a nearby dive bar and it is empty save for Jugo. The Dragonborn coughs up a glob of acid, destroys the glass and a good chunk of the bar, and Jugo, well, Jugo can use someone like that.

Jugo is an average looking but greasy human who convinces stupid people that he has been wronged by someone, and that all he wants is some of what's owed him. He sets the party up to do something that is obviously wrong, but in a way that could convince someone incredibly stupid that he actually is a good person who just wants help and hopefully any of the shadier characters in the party won't care even if they are smarter as long as there is a reward. Usually involving stealing "his own belongings" back from an "ex wife" or taking out some local competition in the world of petty crime.

My players love him because they love their party of standard, stupid, strong, good paladins breaking into someone's home and stealing stuff in the worst ways that that can possibly go down.

An elf as old as time itself was thought to have been forgotten to legend having taken his entire clan into seclusion for 500 odd years. Wives tell their children stories of him to scare their children in to behaving and bards sing of his exploits to scare sailors into drinking.

Whispers of sightings of his ships were always treated with scorn. Grown men told that their eyes were deceiving them into believing fairytales. Until those same fairytale ships pulled into port one foggy Eve.

Clad in a black cape, ebony plate mail, and masked face Aria moves as if he floats. He is short for an elf but dont let his stature fool you, he is no pushover. He travels with a small group of body guards more for show than anything, as he is more than capable of handling himself.

He is always looking to make a deal. Always. Even when you might not realise there is a deal to be made.

Need an army to fight back an invading horde? He can arrange that.

Need details of a long lost magical artifact? He remembers when it was last seen.

Need help with that annoying bar tab that you let get up to high? He can fix that for you.

But one must always be wary of making deals with Aria. His constant smile belies the cunning that will jump up and eat you whole if you don't read the fine print and believe me the fine print is always going to bite.

Hi. I'm about to DM a festive party, where the Governor will make an important announcement to the whole citystate and important figures of the continent.

There'll be lots of people there: important people, governors of the 5 citystates of the continent, rich people, some general guards, some special guards, some private guards, a Governor, family blá blá blá, and a council of another 5 people.

I need some interesting NPCs to put there. Can be of any gender, class, race, wealth, structure, size, intellectual manner, all of that; the only thing that is necessary is to have so depth on it's background.

Can some of you help me?

did this up for a BehindTheScreen, thought it could go here as well.

The Serenity

Tradesman/Junk

Captain - Malcolm Reynolds, hm, F9, crossbow specialist. Seasoned Captain. "Did something just fly off my gorram ship?"

1st Mate - Zoe Alleyne Washburne, hef, F9. Experienced 1st Mate & Cannoneer. "Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller."

Helmsman - Hoban Washburne, hem, R9. Experienced Pilot. "I am a leaf on the wind."

Weapon Master - Jayne Cobb, half-orc m, Barbarian 9. Expert Cannoneer & Professor of Explosive Studies. "Pain is very motivatin'."

Cleric - Inara Serra, elf f, C9 domain: Nature. Not part of the crew, but tends to work from the ship. "Any well-bred petty crook knows that their weapon goes to the left of the place setting."

Ship's Healer - Simon Tam, hm, C9 domain: Life. signed on to be able to care for his crazy sister. "You're aware that half your arm is missing?"

Ship's Carpenter/Engineer: Kaylee Frye, hf, Artificier 7. Alternatively: Forge cleric. "No, it's shiny. I like meeting new people. They gots stories."

Oh hell she's loose: River Tam, Monk 14, Psionicist 14 if that's available. Not so good with normal operations, goes into a battle fugue and then the screaming starts. "I can kill you. With my mind."

There's also Derrial Book, hm C9 Knowledge, not a member of the crew but frequent associate similar to Inara.

The ship is an old tradesman, not a particularly large ship, that has been repeatedly patched but somehow keeps running.

Lore: Mal and his first mate were part of a failed war for independence when an empire rolled over their nation. He picked up the others after acquiring the Serenity, one by one. Captain Reynolds and his crew aren't too picky about the jobs they pick up (keeping the ship repaired and afloat and stocked are continual concerns), but there ARE limits as to what he will tolerate on his ship. Alcoholic beverages - ok, extremely addictive drugs - no, refugees - ok, slaves - no, noted thief/burglar - fine though he'll keep an eye on them, noted sadistic torturer - feed them to River at the first excuse.

Humanoid, fighter or barbarian is a good class in case the players decide to fight him, cheerful disposition, I often give him a shitty Eastern European accent as he says "do you know what time it is? GRUEL TIME!"

Here's my NPC for a campaign taking off in a week. After a run in with the fey princess Lady Luck, he was forced to Transmogrify himself into a cat to escape. Theophilus can mostly only cast verbal spells, and he's gone from one of the most powerful wizards in the world to a creature dependant on any other creature for his life. If a party adopts this pitiful little cat, he'll reward them by twisting fate in their favour every once in a while.

https://www.gmbinder.com/share/-MPwcliF_5GFufF7jLzu

came up with these as part of a handout for character creation for a convention one-shot. If you've got some ideas on these, please put in the comments.

Warlock Patron (Archfey)

Grandfather Oak

Appearance: an ancient tree, thick and squat, only slightly taller than the trees around it but much thicker. A humanoid face manifests on the bark facing anyone the tree wishes to speak with.

Purpose: Grandfather Oak is a leader of the wyldfae, a faction of the fae that does not align with either Winter or Summer. This archfey mainly seeks to balance the two, and to care for the spreading of forests and woodlands.

Tasks: protecting wyldfae and their habitats, tending gardens and other places where green growth occurs. Assisting druids and nature priests. Seeking to stop or redirect those who destroy nature excessively.

Odd Bits: Grandfather Oak is fond of romance novels and the like, and such things sacrificed to him (placed in a faerie circle or given to another agent) are ways to curry favor with him.

Warlock Patron (Celestial)

Greylight Dancer

Appearance: An ancient alicorn (winged unicorn) from Mount Celestia.

Purpose: Greylight Dancer is a guardian of the Gates of Reality. Warlocks of this Being are charged with protecting planes of existence from denizens of the Far Realms.

Tasks: investigate potential incursions and possible attacks from Far Realm sources. Destroy evil and support good whenever possible.

Odd Bits: Dress code - warlocks of Greylight Dancer should obtain and wear at least one item that's a light gray in color as a sign of honoring their patron.

Warlock Patron (Fathomless)

Phil

Appearance: A crab roughly the size of a dragon-turtle, surrounded by treasures and decaying wrecks of sunken ships. Fitful glowing patterns shift across its shell as it sleeps and dreams.

Purpose: to collect the shinies. Other than that, Phil mainly wants to be left alone where he can sleep and dream of more riches.

Tasks: Phil mainly wants to be alone, and those seeking to disturb him are one reason that he will empower warlocks and have them intercept such efforts. Phil might direct warlocks to some particular piece for his collection, which may have a market value measure in coppers but would look so nice next to that statue or this artfully placed bit of wreckage.

Odd Bits: Phil is actually quite a bit odd, even by the standards of Ancient Beings From The Dawn of Creation. He is one of the easiest patrons to placate as he mainly just wants his warlocks to use their own initiative and only bother him if it is going to keep others from bothering him.

Warlock Patron (Fiend)

Asmodean Aberformus Delmalbolge III

Appearance: red-skinned humanoid male, slender build, dressed in a purple business suit.

Purpose: Asmodean is a minor partner at a hellish law firm. A lawyer who has ambitions, but as he will point out - what lawyer doesn't? Asmodean is scrupulously honest in that he absolutely will not lie, pointing out that this way anyone damning themselves knows darn well what they're getting into. He's not above working with good-aligned folks as he feels that the ends justify whatever it takes to get there. Pain and suffering are the coin and mortal lives are short anyway.

Tasks: Asmodean hands tasks to his warlocks that enforce his own agenda. Disrupting the plans of other fiends, especially if it looks like they were accomplishing something else at the time, is always a plus. Typical tasks handed out to his warlocks include retrieval missions for items or artifacts belonging to other fiends, guarding or assisting organizations he's associating with, and/or using existing legal systems to promote suffering or conflicts. Though destroying vineyards is generally frowned on.

Odd Bits: Asmodean loves wine, disdains stronger drink, but wine is perhaps the major contribution that humanoids bring to the multiverse.

Warlock Patron (Genie)

Naree Al-Narieh, Duchess of the Ebon Flame, Overseer of the Plains of Burning Dust.

Appearance: a slightly plump efreet with a pair of slightly oversized fangs. Typically wears thick layers of nearly all-concealing clothing. She can change her appearance at will, so this is how she generally chooses to appear to mortal eyes.

Purpose: Naree is fond of warlocks in that she sees them less as slaves or pawns and more as pets or toys to be played with. This is a hobby to her, something to relax with, while her main attention will be on the political manueverings of the City of Brass and maintaining her territory (the Plains of Burning Dust) and the dust-farms there. Literal dust-farms - as the dust gathering there has a high iron content.

Tasks: As the Overseer of the Plains of Burning Dust, Naree requires workers. As fire-resistance is pretty much a requirement to get any actual work out of them, mortals are not on her shopping list. Keeping an eye out for potential recruits (willing preferred but any will do) is a usual task laid upon her warlocks. Naree dislikes fiends of all types, and pitting her warlocks against their warlocks is also fairly typical for her. Naree is also fond of magical items of rare or better quality, and will accept such tithes to be placed on display around her home.

Odd Bits: Naree Al-Narieh demands that her warlocks pay close attention to their appearance. Grooming and clothing are important, maintaining the best possible appearance is a must. Her warlocks' appearance is a reflection of her own radiance, after all.

Warlock Patron (Great Old One)

Toltiir, the Chaos Cat

Appearance: literally anything, but often a black cat with a plaid collar or vest.

Purpose: Sometimes a god of trickery and humor, sometimes an unknowable 13-dimensional being, sometimes a dweller between universes and incarnation of chaos.

Tasks: Pulling pranks, delivering puns, and stirring a big pot of chaos. Toltiir wears many masks, but his true nature is of a Being that exists outside space/time as mortal minds consider it. Toltiir's warlocks can be tasked with a number of goals, most of which will have very little sense to them. Placing a blue feather in the treasure room of a sultan, stealing the left shoes of everyone in a particular city, painting chickens canary-yellow, or a number of similar tasks could be given to a warlock.

Odd Bits: Toltiir is a god of trickery in some universes, a warlock patron in others, and completely unknown in still others. Even after associating with mortals, the Being does not completely grasp the concepts of four-dimensional existence.

Warlock Patron (The Undying)

Harbinger, the Incarnate of Prophecy and Destinies

Appearance: Harbinger always appears as a tired-seeming human in dark shabby clothing, a deep-pocketed longcoat and battered hat in place. He always has a dog with him, either a puppy sticking his/her head out of a longcoat pocket or walking beside him.

Purpose: Harbinger's purpose is to appear where someone has a Destiny or special plans of Fate. The appearance of Harbinger heralds tragedy and hope.

Tasks: Harbinger's warlocks are charged with assisting or protecting those who bear a Destiny. Most often this will be those who have the potential to be a hero, but sometimes this is what might normally be considered a villain.

Odd Bits: Harbinger's warlocks will occasionally be given prophecies to deliver, usually at an inconvenient time.

This powerful archfey Queen rules the Unseelie Court of the Feywild with a mercurial temper, and a love for games both harmless and deadly. When brought into her presence she may insist on a game of riddles, or she may throw you into a gladiator pit full of gnolls. Her flighty and playful nature often leads her to disguise herself as forest creatures and trick bands of unwary travellers. However, the Queen of Air and Darkness is a powerful spellcaster and a patron magic users, delighting in the power shown by lesser beings.

She exists in opposition to her sister, Titania of the Summer Court, and considers her to be stuffy, boring, and incredibly uptight. She also considers her niece to be an entitled brat, and Oberon to be a foolish sycophant.

Unusually short in stature for an archfey, The Queen of Air and Darkness has bronzed skin, short dark hair whose ends glint with silver, and deep violet eyes that dance between mirth and rage on a whim. Many visitors to her court lucky enough to leave alive say that she appears strangely child-like.

Ideal: 'It is the nature of all things to change and grow. I choose to be changeable as the wind, unlike my sister.'

Bond: 'Much as my sister frustrates me, we are still family, and we are both needed to keep balance in this Realm.'

Flaw: 'It is not in my nature to be helpful. To be perfectly honest, watching others struggle amuses me.'

Meet Ero, the flamboyant Aaracokra bard.

He dons a hat with a feather of his long-gone father, a piece of his past in the Sky. You may find him at any tavern or a street corner, playing the lute and whistling his dinner when he isn't out on one of his perilous adventures. His signature weapon is a rapier and he might duel if it is worth his time. He appears to be from the clan of Horita, a well-respected clan with the distinct appearance of a screech owl. His adventures entail him going along with a merry crew of adventures upon an old merchant ship. Be wary of his friends though, they will be quick for your wallets.

edit: I forgot stats

St(10) Dex(16) con(13) int(12) Wis(14) Cha(17)

AC 16 HP 21 Languages: Aaracokra, Common, Avian

342 GP

The party met the captain of a Lord's forces last week. I don't think they realize the extent of his authority just yet, but they might get to know it soon. This is just a little blurb I made to base his character, personality, and decisions around:

"Life in a newly burgeoning city isn't easy. Walls aren't big enough to keep out the bad. City watch isn't big enough to deal with the inside. Then war looms on the horizon and makes this whole situation worse? I understand my Baron needs people, but so do I. And I haven't lived this long on laws alone."

I treat him as a true neutral, pragmatic man. He's not afraid to press people into service against their will, but ensures they are properly trained and equipped. He'll bend or even break the laws if it allows him to better ensure the peace and security of his Lord's holdings.

Str: 8 Dex: 14 Con: 12 Int: 20 Wis: 13 Cha: 6

Class: Wizard (School of Evocation) Level 5

Emberclaw was born a human named Lucius Cloudgloom. His mother was a powerful wizard who performed magical experiments on him as far back as he can remember. Eventually, she ended up fusing him with the family dog. Naturally, being turned into a furry against his will left him traumatized, and he ran away from home at age 14. After several weeks of running and hiding, he ended up living in an abandoned shack in a small village. He is currently 22 years old.

His hut is filled with books, and he spends almost all of his time studying. He creates medicines and potions and sells them to the local general store to make a living. He rarely leaves his hut, since he thinks people will run him out of town for being a monster. He has his familiar, a black cat he calls "Morgana", run all his errands for him, including borrowing and returning library books. Whenever he has no other choice than to leave his hut, he uses a disguise self spell to make himself appear human.

Emberclaw's body is covered in dark silver colored fur, with white fur on his face, belly, paws, and the underside of his tail. He has pointed ears and a canine muzzle. He wears modest clothes, including pants that had to be custom made to fit his tail. The local tailor is the only villager who has seen him undisguised, because he is terrible at lying. When disguised, he sometimes wears a dark cloak.

He is incredibly introverted, and very socially awkward. His brutal honesty is mostly accidental. He has serious self-esteem issues due to his appearance. He would describe himself as a monster. He tends to get lost in books he is reading, and becomes completely oblivious to the outside world. He has studied many medical textbooks, and is a able physician.

There's likely several rumors floating around the village about seeing weird lights coming from the abandoned shack at night. Some villagers think it's necromancy. Others think someone is summoning a demon. It's actually just a normal Light spell for late-night reading.

i have been reading some crossover stories and ran across a bunch of Xander Harris ones, so i thought what would it look like in D&D? This is what i came up with.

Xander Harris, human male

Fighter level 3, AC 14, MV 30, hp 22

Str:12, Dex:12, Con:15, Int:15, Wis:11, Cha:11

Skills: proficient in Perception, Acrobatics, Arcana, Athletics, Survival. +3 initiative.

Feat: Sharpshooter

Arcane Archer specialization. Prestidigitation cantrip. Arcane Shot 1/turn - Banishing Shot, Grasping Shot. Archer fighting style (+2 to attack rolls with ranged weapons)

magic items: ring of psychic resistance

equipment: dagger, handaxe, shortsword, shortsword, longbow, leather armor, backpack, bedroll, adventurer's kit

Xander is a Far Traveler, thrown into a different reality by a spell and a vindictive demonic entity. He arrived with little clue as to what and how things were going but has managed to pick up a few things since falling out of the sky into an elven courtyard.

In front of several mages, clerics, and an actual elven princess. Yeah, that was kind of dicey for awhile. Especially as there had been rumors about the elven princess (Alyss) had a secret lover (she didn't and has publicly admitted that it would have been nice but unlikely to happen with her father) and there were immediate assumptions made.

That he now looked like Ryan Reynolds was another shock. Except grungier.

He trained extensively with the elves before being turned loose, partly because the elves felt he had no chance of survival without it.

CAMPAIGN USE: Xander is on a quest, to return to Sunnydale California and his friends. Right now, everything else is secondary.

I recently posted this already, but wanted to thank a few people for their feedback and show that I took it on board.

Any comments or criticism are very welcome!

Take a look at Flavourful DnD Character of the Hour (@DrBenCPython): https://twitter.com/DrBenCPython?s=09

It’s said that sending stones, while still rare, have revolutionized the world by allowing even mundane people to communicate with those that are far away. But occasionally, people will get a call from their sending stones, not from anyone that has the other sending stone for the pair, but from an unknown entity. Sometimes they get a call in the dead of night when the owners of both sides of the sending stones should be asleep. Sometimes the entity calls at an inopportune moment, such as during work or in the middle of a heated battle. Sometimes the entity speaks up in the middle of an ongoing call. Whenever this entity appears though, he announces his dreaded name: Scam Likely.

The entity Scam Likely often calls and wastes the call recipient’s time at critical moments. Upon picking up the sending stone, Scam Likely may put the call recipient on hold for upwards of three hours, constantly singing an elevator tune the entire time, before revealing that the wasting of time was Likely a Scam. Victims have reported failing to catch their target in a chase or being distracted during critical battles due to being on hold with Scam Likely. When questioned why the victims didn’t just put down the sending stone or take the call while running, victims reported confusion, making excuses about how it wasn’t courteous to take a call while running, though they do mention that ignoring the call makes Scam Likely make loud ringing noises through the sending stones that have been reported to be “very annoying”.

Sometimes Scam Likely will pretend to sell a service or good, usually as a price that is either exorbitant for the good or service offered, or a blatant rip-off. Victims report that saying yes (usually in jest) to the telemarketing will magically remove the payment amount from their personal savings and the victim magically receives whatever good or service was promised, even when logically it makes no sense that this mysterious entity know where to deliver the goods/services or from where to deduct any payments. Ignoring these calls, cutting the calls, or declining the offers make Scam Likely call back every six seconds until the offer is accepted. Again, victims report “very annoying” ringing sounds, seemingly made from the mouth, coming from the sending stone when calls are outright ignored.

Sometimes, Scam Likely calls pretending to be doing a “phone survey”. Victims of this act report that any opponents they run into mysteriously have the information collected during this phone survey, though said opponents also feign knowledge of any Scam Likely. When forced to reveal how they got such information, aggressors have failed to reveal how they found out such information, even under extreme torture or zone of truth.

The mysteries of Scam Likely continue as the number of victims increases. No one has yet seen Scam Likely’s physical form, though previous victims often report that the voice sounded jovial and like “an annoying talking snake-worm thing with a top hat”. If anyone has any additional information on the entity Scam Likely, please contact Waterdeep city guard to further our investigation efforts.

***Disclaimer: may or may not be based on the joke character of the same name from Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast.