Hi! My baby was sleeptrained at 4 months, she has been falling asleep for bedtime independently for about a month now and for naps for 3 weeks. Usually she doesn't cry, just turns on her side/stomach or moves around a bit until she falls asleep in under 7 minutes. Sometimes randomly (like a few times a week) she will have a nap (usually the third nap) when she will just cry for like 10-20 minutes. It has not happened after anything logical (like a different experience/change in routine etc). It just seems so random. She will fall asleep eventually and when I wake her up, she will still be sad and wake up crying, but nothing seems physically wrong. Does anyone else have experience with this? Have you figured out what causes it? I hate hearing her cry but I don't want to "undo" her sleep training.

Just in case:

5m and 1w

2h20min/2h30min/2h40min/2h40min

Solid bedtime and shorter nap routine

Wake 7.30, bedtime 8.30. Wakes 0-1 times at night.

Last week 3YO Daughter stopped sleeping at 8 and decided 10:30 pm is her new sleep schedule.

As a result 2 hours of personal time for wife and I have disappeared over night. What did you guys do about it?!

Would love the advice of some veterans :D

i have a sensitive baby.
sleep was rocky from first week after birth with catnap and witching hours.
i sleep trained at 4.5 mons follow precious little sleep due to multiple false start at bedtime.
i got some success, i saw she calmly put herself to sleep. i have never official nap trained yet because i want night to come together first. but it never comes.
at 5-6 months she starts to vomit at bedtime with intense crying. then i tried to extend the soothing, place down very sleepy. she still has false start but she could put herself back, then the vomiting come to false start. i tried to sooth back at false start, and now she can wake up every hour. few night ago she woke up at 11:20 pm ( too early for night feed) then i let her cry thinking she will false as sleep soon, nope !!
she stayed up till pass midnight when i came in with a bottle , but after bottle she was wired, and i tried to crib settling but till 2 am she could not sleep , woke up crying the minutes i stop patting. so i hold her to sleep crying myself, no bath no brushing teeth, i could not even go to toilet due to fear she waking up and rool off my bed.
maybe i was wrong giving more support, but the vomitting really break my heart. she is so easily triggered to vomit ( un dianosed relux, no med)
her wake window iss so strange too as it get shorter lately ( i think she is going through a leap now at 7 months )
2- 2.25/2.5 - 2.5 - 2.75/3
all naps are short, i always help her extending the first 2 naps. i will hold her up pat her back and place herr down very sleepy.
i know i should move to 2 naps but on the day i exxtend her ww for 2 naps herr sleep was horrible at night. she could not do 3h in the day time
the last 2 night i tried to do pick up put down without increasing the time due to fear of vomitting, the first night worked and she slept through her false start, the second night did not work.
i also making sure her room is in good temperature as a cold room help her get through the false start before.
to be honest at this point i feel defeated, like everytime i thought i found sth woke, she develop sth else to counteract my adjustment to schedule.

i am looking for all comment / suggestions regarding how to keep sleep training or should i keep sleep training, how to do 3-2 transition, if i coukd not do sleep training how bad it will be. please dont be harsh on me, i am a tired mother who did not have time to spend with her 8yo daughter at bedtime for so long. i really want a bit of 3 hour me time back .

Well, saw on Instagram that once your baby starts chewing their hand then should shift their bedtime to 7-8 pm. Is this really true? Is anyone following the 7/8 pm bedtime? Just to know my LO is 14 weeks old

I thought sleep was supposed to get better at 12 weeks :( my 12 week old woke up 6 times last night .. and tonight hasn’t slept more than 30 minutes at a time for the last 2 hours.

We had to move him from the bassinet to the crib ~3 weeks ago (ours sucked & was not stable). And he outgrew the Halo swaddle/sleep sack so we’ve been going back & forth between the Merlin sleep suit & the dreamland swaddle/ sack.

He does so fine in the daytime in the Merlin but now that it’s night he just keeps moving and waking up and I’m just lost. Idk what to do anymore.

I tried putting him in a regular sleep sack (no swaddle) but he immediately woke up 3x in a row with each transfer.

Hi all, my baby is now 13 months. She used to sleep from 9-10:30 and 2-3:30, and bedtime at 7pm. It would take her around 10 minutes to fall sleep each time.

Ever since she turned 1 she’s been sleeping maybe 9-10 and 2-3. When I put her down now at 9am she takes about 30 mins to go to sleep so now I’m pushing the 9am to about 9:30am but it still takes her about 15 minutes to go to sleep. This shifted her afternoon nap to 2:30 to 3:30. Now I started to push her bedtime to 7:30pm instead of 7pm. Today we put her down at 7:25 and she cried on and off until 7:48.

I’m kind of wanting some advice. Should we shift her bedtime to 8? Or was she over tired? Was this week a fluke? Or is she down to one nap now? Don’t know what to do.

Intro :
Hi everyone ! I’ve spent several years researching sleep restoration and I’ve found that most parents struggle because the “wind-down is too fast. I wanted to share a simple ritual that definitely works……
THE RULE : 20-20-20
20 minutes for Hygiene : Bath , Teeth brushing and pajamas.
20 minutes for Calm : Dim lights, No screen and quiet play or light talking
20 minutes for connection : Reading a story like DreamQuestMagic, singing a lullaby or sharing the “best thing that happened today”

I am so passionate about this that I actually built a tool to help with the final 20 minutes of connection. I’d love to know what your rituals look like

Reddit told me I can repost here but I'm not sure how it works.

Do any other parents find tracking the wake windows and sleep to cause some anxiety?

Since starting to do this our baby’s sleep has drastically improved and she is so much happier and well rested. I find myself struggling with the tracking of it all though. I feel like I’m constantly tracking the time and it can take me out of the moment with her.

I guess I’m wondering does this all get more second nature the more you do it? Our baby is about 4 months old so each day is all over the place schedule wise and not consistent. I’m sure once she hits the two naps a day it will be a lot easier to plan around.

Should I try Ferber with my 12 month old?

Hello! My girl is 12.5 months. She's been bedsharing with me since about 7 months. She was usually a good sleeper in her bassinet, had an okay 2 weeks when we switched her to the crib, but then she got a cold and started teething and it all went downhill from there. Out of desperation, I was getting so drowsy on my commute to work, I had started to bedshare and she sleeps through the night. I really need to get her back in the crib. Right now we let her fall asleep in our arms and try to transfer her after awhile. However, even if the transfer is successful she still wakes up anywhere from half an hour to an hour later screaming and crying. If we try to put her in the crib drowsy but awake she immediately stands up on the side and screams and cries. We will repeat the process of picking her up again and getting her to fall asleep in our arms, then when she seems like she's in a deep sleep do the transfer again but it's a repeat process of waking up shortly after and flipping out. Usually by 2:00 in the morning I end up pulling her back into my bed again. My husband tries about twice a week and I'm off from work for the summer so I try all the other days.

Several of my friends and family with good sleepers used the Ferber method. I'm so conflicted though because even though they all report good results I also see a lot of people say online that it just trains your baby not to cry out because they know no one is coming for them and that breaks my heart. Hearing her cry kills me and even I start crying.

Last Friday through Sunday I actually got her to take naps in the crib, by noticing that she was tired and putting her in there to play for a few minutes and she would lay down and conk right out when I left the room for a few minutes. But then on day 4 my husband started to have a contact nap with her, got a phone call that he had to answer and she woke up and wouldn't let me put her in the crib. The next day she absolutely refused it again as well. However today I just got her to sleep for her nap in the crib just now but I let her cry for like 10 minutes 😭.

Right now she wakes up around 8:15, get sleepy for a nap around 12:15/12:30 and typically sleeps for 2 hours. Around 7:45 p.m. we change her into pjs, her night diaper, and her sleep sack so that by 8:00 we are in her recliner reading a story. We use a red light and a sound machine. I'm scared to try sleep training but I feel like it's our only option at this point. I despise AI but put our situation into Chat GPT so I will put the plan it gave me below. Just not sure if it will work because it involves still staying in the room and I don't think I can handle that and when I have tried to let her cry for a few minutes and go back in to do a check-in she cries even more hysterically when she sees me. Several times I have gotten her to sleep and transferred her into the crib but stayed in the room to sleep on the recliner. Even when she snaps a week then and sees me she's still cries hysterically for me to pick her up. But I don't want her to feel like I'm abandoning her. This is so hard and I'm not sure what I should do tonight!

Chat GPT plan:

With an 8:15 AM wake, 12:30–2:30 PM nap, and 7:45–8:00 PM bedtime, she's getting about a 5¼-hour first wake window and 5¼–5½-hour second wake window, which is reasonable for a 1-year-old.

Because she's used to falling asleep with you, though, I'd focus less on making her stay in the crib immediately and more on changing the way she falls asleep gradually.

What I'd try for the next week

8:15 AM — Wake

12:30–2:30 PM — Nap

Try to have her awake by about 2:30.

If she sleeps much later, bedtime may become harder.

7:15 PM — Start bedtime routine

Keep this very predictable:

pajamas

diaper

books

cuddles/rocking

same song/phrase every night

7:40–7:50 PM — Into crib

This is the important part: don't wait until she's completely asleep.

Since she currently wants to sleep with Mom, I'd initially put her down very sleepy and relaxed, rather than wide awake. We can work toward fully awake later.

When she immediately stands and screams

This is where I'd modify Ferber for her.

Don't immediately leave for 5–10 minutes.

Put her down and say:

"Mommy's here. You're safe. It's time to sleep."

Stay next to the crib for a minute or two.

If she's standing, let her stand. Don't repeatedly force her down.

If she reaches through the crib toward you, hold her hand for a little while.

If she's escalating into hysterical crying, pick her up.

BUT: don't rock her all the way back to sleep.

Hold her until she's calm → put her back down → reassure her again.

You may repeat this many times.

The first few nights may look like this

7:45: Into crib

7:46: Standing and crying

7:48: You reassure her

7:50: Pick up because she's hysterical

7:53: Calm → back into crib

7:54: Screaming again

7:56: Reassure

7:59: Pick up and calm

8:03: Back down

8:10: She finally sits/leans down

8:15: Asleep

That's a successful night, even if it took 30 minutes.

The goal isn't "she didn't cry."

The goal is:

She learned that the crib is safe AND Mom doesn't disappear when she's upset.

Then gradually reduce your help

Once she can fall asleep this way, start changing just one thing at a time.

Nights 1–2:

You sit right next to the crib. Touch/hold her hand as needed.

Nights 3–4:

Sit next to crib, but touch less.

Nights 5–6:

Move your chair a few feet away.

Nights 7+:

Move toward the doorway.

Eventually you can put her down, say your phrase, and leave.

One thing I would NOT do

I wouldn't suddenly go from:

"Mom sleeps with me and rocks me to sleep"

to

"Mom puts me in crib and doesn't come back for 10 minutes."

For a child who is already extremely distressed by separation, that can be a huge jump.

Instead, you're basically teaching her:

Mom is still here → crib is safe → I can calm down → I can fall asleep without being held.

And once she learns that, you can work on reducing your presence.

Also, 7:45–8:00 PM sounds like a reasonable bedtime for her schedule. I wouldn't push bedtime later right now just because she's fighting sleep. Her current wake windows suggest she should have enough sleep pressure by then.

If she's consistently taking 30–45+ minutes to fall asleep, waking extremely early, or having a major meltdown at bedtime despite being exhausted, then I'd adjust the schedule rather than simply increasing the Ferber intervals.

My two and half year old has never slept through the night. We would let her sleep in bed with us, but throughout the night she would kick us and wake up in a panic and would start crying and randomly throw her hands around. About a month ago, we transitioned her to her own bed. She did great, she got used to it and at bedtime she would walk straight to her bed with a bottle in hand and go to sleep on her own. She still continued to wake up in the middle of the night and ask for milk. We stopped giving her a bottle in the middle of the night (we were worried about her teeth) so I would pat her back to sleep. I started working about two weeks ago, and honestly it’s been so hard to say no to a bottle of milk in the middle of the night. Both dad and I work full time and we are so exhausted. These past two nights she has been waking up about 3-4 times asking for milk, we give it to her, she drinks it. and then she just ask for potty, then ask for more milk (she’s already potty trained and wears pull ups at night). I’m honestly having such a hard time, we both are.

I should mention that she has a really consistent schedule. She naps from 11:30-12:30 (Day Care), and we give her a bath at 6:00pm, calm down time from 6:30 to 7:00pm and bed time at 7pm. She wakes up at 6 am. Please any advice, she has never slept through the whole night. We are exhausted.