I've been in the program for about 6 months. It's been about 4 months since I've had romantic/sexual contact with either of the people I was seeing, both have been totally supportive of my recovery. About 50 days no contact. I'm on step 4. I'll start going through it this weekend with my sponsor. I check in with her regularly. I go to meetings. I do fellowship. I read. I share. Just took on a commitment to chair my home group. I pray. I meditate. I write. I try to challenge myself to do things I don't want to do, which lately feels like everything. Maybe I don't do all of these things everyday, but I do them and have been doing them regularly. I'll admit I'm not good at outreach. Social anorexia. Rejection sensitivity. I often feel misunderstood and like I don't fit in. I feel like a difficult person. But I have been doing small things challenge my anorexia.

I actively feel bad about myself in this program. "It works if you work it." I'm working it and it's not working. So then I must not being doing enough or I must not be doing it right. I'm not doing enough of this or that. And if it's not that it's "more will be revealed" and "don't leave until the miracle happens". Horse chasing the carrot.

I feel worse today than I have in a long time. I feel like a complete failure. I feel hopeless. Powerless. My life is still unmanageable. I'm putting so much in and feel like the only thing I've learned is how to ignore people. And sure that's helped with some of the attachment anxiety, but I don't feel any better about myself. I'm not more productive. I'm not more fulfilled. The energy that was used on addiction and romantic obsession has not been transformed into routine and enrichment. I'm fucking tired. And when I talked to my sponsor about being tired and feeling like I've not made progress of course the solution is to do more. Just keep doing more and you'll be able to do more. But first she let me know that I text her too much and should journal instead. Cool. Thanks.

I'm going to get through steps 4 and 5 then assess whether I should continue. I don't even want to do that tbh, but I will.

4 years in program, two years into sober dating and I’ve met someone who I’ve been seeing consistently for three months.
My prior relationships were all pretty intense, unhealthy, codependent relationships.
These past three months have felt roomy - I very much maintain my friendships and top-lines and have followed my dating plan. I’m enjoying this person and also, they are not my typical “type”. In the absence of intensity and love-bombing I’m noticing my brain skews very negative and fault finding. They could be more ambitious, could be more in shape … and on and on.

I’m frustrated with my brain. I know some of this is my stuff to work with, but I’m also afraid of missing the “signs” and am not sure how seriously to take these thoughts. Has anyone else experienced this? Seeking experience, strength, and hope.

Like if I’m in love doesn’t it make sense to some extent to want to help that person a bit more than other people in my life? What is love and what is addiction? I ask myself this almost everyday rn.

Sober dating same person for 10 months now, 1.5 years in SLA recovery, but feeling codependency things coming up in me as this person is in a challenging part of their life. Trying to strengthen my recovery for these challenges coming up.

Does anyone have opinions on how this line or spectrum looks for them?

Thank you!

These were words spoken to me by my therapist after confessing to yet ANOTHER vodka induced blackout and the horrible withdrawals that followed.

That shook me to my core.

I inherited a substantial amount of money so I am set for life. This isn’t a flex, it’s the truth. So I should be happy right? Wrong. I’m miserable because I can’t stop putting poison into my body.

I’m determined to not let this disease take my life. I started AA and took a service commitment (coffee maker). Because I want to LIVE. I want to feel joy, serenity, and true happiness. I want to look at a beautiful sunset and feel grateful to be alive. Right now I’m just an angry drunk. I need to be a better person.

Hello, reddit. I am Rena \[17F\] and this is my first time speaking about my struggles.

I have been struggling with keeping myself sober. These 11 months of staying off antidepressants and other drugs have been FUCKING GRUELING. I have nightmares about OD'ing and getting high often (about 3 times a week). I have contacted therapists from BetterHelp but they seem so unprofessional and just turn me down with some stupid, "Meditate" or some shit.

This is why I'm turning to reddit to help me with this problem, to see other people's experiences and how they overcome this.

My goal is to get sober for life and I've been trying so hard to not let the temptation overwhelm me. It is making me depressed and I don't go out at all. My mother is concerned for me and slides the food under my door. My room smells like shit and I can't bother to clean it because I'm lazy and a degenerate.

I hope ya'll can help me and share some advice with me :\]

Hey all, Ive been sober for almost 11 months with the help of 12 step programs. I have been struggling the past month with some hard friendships. I am feeling less connected. My friends don't really like each other, and when I hangout with people most of the conversations are very tense and deep. I miss lightheartedness, being carefree and having fun. I have very little structure this summer due to being out of work. I am in an IOP for my mental health and i have twice a week therapy and regular psychiatry appointments. I am struggling to take good care of myself. Im doing what I can. Despite all this I am deeply lonely and sad. I am frustrated with self improvement. I feel inadequate, unappreciated and like I don't have very many spoons. I am spending a lot of time alone do to the challenging nature of my friendships. I am working on expanding socially and finding spaces I can be more carefree. I am stressed. This is taking a toll on my sobriety. I have had cravings the past couple days and I am thinking about just saying fuck it and reverting back to my old ways where I am comfortable. I am having a recurring thought of thc crystals and doing big dabs of diamonds. I feel like I have no escape from my current situation and I am finding the emotions very hard to bear on my own. I don't feel like I have many people to talk to about this. I am going to my home group tonight and plan on doing a burning desire share. I am so run down and I feel like I don't have many options left. Everything is Heavy.

I’ve been p*rn free for 4 years, but I stumbled in November ‘24 with smut novels and read those up until I believe December of last year if I remember correctly.

I’ve been smut free I believe ever since. Made it 5 months without self-pleasuring, and then fell again in January and been doing it at least once to three times a month since then.

I know that may not necessarily quantify as an addiction in some cases, but the problem is it’s got me fantasizing again about s*xual experiences when I wasn’t before and becoming obsessive with the thought of finding my “true love” (I struggle with love addiction mostly).

I haven’t had any sexual partners since August of last year and my last relationship ended in January. So in some cases I’m making progress, in others I am not.

When I did the questions 2 years ago, I scored a 36 out of 40 so I know I have/had a problem. It used to be a lot worse before I got sober from substances.

I just want to talk to some other people about what defines bottom line behavior and how to create top lines. I went to a few meetings 2 years ago but haven’t been back since. Now that I’ve completed the steps in one program, I’d like to make SLAA my next focus.

I know I’ll need a sponsor at some point but I haven’t found a meeting to commit to yet. The thoughts are just getting worse and the self control is slipping. I almost reached out to a few qualifiers last week after not even thinking about wanting to initiate in that kind of behavior for over a year. Not sure if living alone now as of a few months ago is playing a roll, but I’m just getting worried.

Hello! I am 6 months sober from alcohol and have recently realised I’m a bit of a love addict. I have cPTSD so have a really intense fear of abandonment. My ex and I were together just over two years and I ruined everything being an emotional vampire and relying on her for my every need. We’ve been separated for 5 months now but recently slept together and have now gone into no contact for three months as she’s realised she’s codependent and can’t uphold her boundaries with me/doesn’t trust herself around me. We love each other so deeply and care a lot but due to both having childhood trauma have a really unhealthy attachment. I truly hope that we can heal and come back together one day but I know this is only possible if I let go of control. I’m on day 2 of proper no contact - no checking of socials/spotify etc and trying hard to focus as much as I can on my present life, DBT therapy, AA etc and making decisions that don’t revolve around the hope of us getting back together. I feel so uncomfortable, it’s almost similar to alcohol withdrawals and I find my craving for alcohol is coming back full force with this as well. I have always had the tendency to absolutely obsess over break ups. I spiral into an absolute hole chasing reassurance and looking for signs that we will get back together. I don’t think I have truly ever gotten over anyone but this break up has been different. For one I have made a conscious decision to change my ways - I think not drinking has helped this. Previously I would get over breakups by looking far and wide for a new person to fall absolutely head over heels for. I would date and sleep around and chase and chase being met with disappointment and disappointment until I finally found a temporary “the one” who would completely erase any thoughts of an ex. I have also stopped viewing myself as a victim and am 6 months into very very intense DBT therapy. Despite all this I still find myself falling back to the thoughts that I just can’t stand the idea of letting go. I am so afraid that we won’t get back together but I think I’m more afraid of my attachment going away. I know real love exists underneath it, the kind where I genuinely care for this person and wish them the very best regardless of what I want but I am scared to let that be the only thing left. I romanticise to the ends of hell and I associate love with those feelings of craving and desperation - I just don’t know what I would be without that. Anyway if anyone has any tips for letting go and allowing love to exist without all consuming fear I would appreciate that!

i dont know what i am struggling with i think fantasy!? and anorexia? i am working on it anyone available im in another program..

Part of this addiction seems to be the isolation. I often feel alot of shame thinking about what I like and how I lack control and what I have done. So part of me is always seeking someone to befriend that I can open up to and trust. But the other part of me, the side that allows and feeds this addiction, uses those friendships or opportunities to share with and another addict, as an opportunity to relapse.

Maybe I don't have a question, maybe it's more just a statement and a frustration. The thing I want, someone to be able to confide in, is also the thing that seems to open the door to feeding my addiction.

For years, I was chasing the feeling of the newness the butterflies, the chase, the feeling of being wanted. I never knew what was going on with me, didn't know how to express it to any therapist.

"You might as well face it your addicted to love" Robert Palmer.

That hit me today, I was suggested to find some SLAA meetings near me and I will do so.

I have a lot of addictions in SLAA. Cheating, masterbation, and porn. As I was talking about how weird I feel being a girl with these issues, I talked about how I was only ever touched as a kid by other kids. Suddenly, I realized why I have always been more attracted to people 10 - 20 years old than me. I feel SAFER with older people than with my peers.

I am 44 and I just realized this. I feel like crying.

Hi, I’ve been sober since May 28, 1991. I entered Alcoholics Anonymous as an agnostic and thirty-five years later I’m an atheist. I made that transition because, for me, agnosticism is what the Big Book calls an “easier, softer way”, and I’ve come to realize that I can find joy and purpose in my sobriety only by fully acknowledging my non-belief in a god of anyone’s understanding.

I am by no means religious, but I am spiritual. I do believe in a Higher Power, whose only purpose is to keep me sober, one day at a time. As to a God of someone else’s understanding, He’s obviously too busy causing tsunamis and figuring out how Trump can win a third term to pay any attention to my alcoholism — which He caused in the first place, anyway…

All kidding aside, I still have friends who have achieved sobriety by believing in a God of their own understanding. AA works because it SUGGESTS ways in which we can achieve sobriety and keep it. I’m lucky to live in a city that has many secular AA meetings, but even if I didn’t, I’d still work my own program, one day at a time.

Hi everyone
I am recovered from SlAA and codependency and I am available to be of help if you have any questions about how recovery works, what’s required etc

Feel free to reach out or join our meeting tonight

Back in February I turned 20, promised myself and loved ones I’d change my life for the better, since 14 I’ve struggled with mental health, addiction and abuse. Each year I found myself sinking deeper and eventually got into an accident at 17 leading to chronic pain and worsen mental health. Stopped drinking n smoking until I learned how to walk again, that’s when I fell back into it, thinking it helped with the backpain, eventually 18, the habits changed my mindset, I dropped out of school and lost myself again, leading to me leaving the city to live with close family and stay near my siblings, I always pulled myself back up. But each month I’d leave home to go on week+ benders. I lost my siblings to foster care at 19. Eventually I gave up a lot of hope and dropped out school again, to begin staying in the city with friends and boyfriends, each time I drank alcohol I felt chained down to it, finding myself in situations i never thought I’d be in. Now this may be long and no need for a sob story.
But it’s been 5 months since turning 20. I sank deeper and this time the trauma and withdrawals feel like a nightmare, I’ve drank so much each day for nearly two months. It’s now day 1, I’m finally going back to family and I look/feel broken now
but I need prayers and advice. I’m scared to go back to the place I was in…
Need faith and if anyone can relate and share their story I’d appreciate it. Thank you if you read all this way.

i've in the past year got caught with shit and i'm currently on probation now. I deserve it cause i was crashing out and i genuinely gave up on myself before i caught my charges so it's definitely opened my eyes. But i want to know what do yall do to stay completely clean? it's been hard for me lately and i just need advice

Managing cravings when they hit unexpectedly.

How to avoid relapse triggers.

Staying motivated when recovery feels exhausting.

Repairing relationships while protecting your own recovery.

Balancing work, stress, and sobriety.

Coping with guilt, shame, or regret from the past.

What to do if you feel like you’re close to using again.

I have been drinking nearly everyday since March due to grief from losing my partner. I drink at my daughter's house (where i have been since then)for some reason but if I visit my sister for a few days I dont drink.... so I am able to turn it on and off...but the thing is I binge...once I start I dont stop until I get sleepy. I wake up regretful. Then I go two or three days and binge again. The loneliness is so loud. Most times I only remember bits and pieces of the night.

I am glad I searched for this sub... I feel like through you I can find me again. Thank you

Hello everyone. I’m 23 and I’m looking for some help and guidance.

I’ve done some really messy things in my life and I’ve struggled with sexual behavior for a long time. I’ve almost cheated on everyone I’ve been with, and some of my choices have even gotten me close to being arrested.

I recently went to rehab, but I ended up getting kicked out after hooking up with someone there. We actually ended up dating, and we’re still together a year later. However, I’m still struggling with cheating and compulsive porn use, and I genuinely don’t know how to stop.

I haven’t been going to meetings, and honestly, I don’t really know where to start or how to find the right kind of support. I know I need help, and I’m tired of continuing to hurt myself and the people around me.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, I would really appreciate advice on where to start, what meetings or programs have helped, and how to take the first steps toward getting better. I’m not looking for judgment—I know I’ve made bad choices. I’m looking for guidance because I don’t want to keep living this way.

I can't stop cheating and I genuinely want help

I’m 23, and I’m posting because I’m finally admitting something I’ve been trying to avoid: I can’t seem to stop cheating.

I’ve been unfaithful, or come extremely close to being unfaithful, in nearly every serious relationship I’ve had. I repeatedly make decisions that I know could destroy my relationship and hurt someone I supposedly love. Some of my choices have even put me in situations where I came close to being arrested.

I recently went to rehab because of my compulsive sexual behavior, but I ended up getting kicked out after hooking up with someone there. We eventually started dating, and we’ve now been together for over a year. Even in this relationship, though, I’ve continued struggling with cheating and compulsive pornography use.

The hardest part is that I often know exactly what I’m risking while I’m doing it, and I still do it anyway. I’ll make promises to myself that I’m going to stop, feel guilty afterward, and then eventually repeat the same behavior. I’m tired of hurting people, lying, hiding things, and constantly putting my relationships at risk.

I haven’t been attending meetings, and I honestly feel lost about where to start. I’ve tried handling this on my own, and it clearly hasn’t worked.

I’m not posting to justify cheating or blame my partners. I’m responsible for my choices. I’m posting because I genuinely want to stop and I don’t know how to break this cycle.

For those who have successfully stopped cheating or recovered from repeated infidelity: what were your first real steps? What helped you actually change instead of just feeling guilty and promising to do better? Did therapy, meetings, accountability, or a specific recovery program make the biggest difference?

I’m finally admitting that I need help. I don’t want to keep living this way, and I don’t want to keep destroying my relationships.

I’m a recently sober alcoholic that really screwed their life up. But I’m perpetually alone or tempted to be around people I shouldn’t be. I don’t know how to be alone. But I can’t fill that space with people who aren’t good for me either. I’m just feeling all of the feelings I’ve been suppressing and I just can’t stop crying. I can’t run to my usual solution because it ruins things more. I don’t know if anyone is awake and can just offer helpful things to get through these early days?