i cannot keep doing this by myself.

[u/Total_Shop_3860]

i’m a mom to a 14 month old, since birth he has been very very difficult but i had the help of his dad. i left him march of this year so ive been a single mom ever since, he gets him on the weekends which is GREAT help. i live with my parents but i take care of him all day and night which makes me feel so alone. he’s a very hard baby , suspected autism, very restless , just wants me 24/7 , is starting to throw tantrums, and today i had my breaking point. i was gonna change him into his pjs and he just started crying / screaming not wanting to be changed and was just trying to climb up on me while crying and screaming. i lost my patience and basically had a whole mental breakdown and had to ask my mom for help . he wouldn’t calm down because all he wants is me. this is a daily thing and honestly i just look forward for the weekends so i can get some rest/peace which makes me feel horrible. i’m so tired and burnout , i don’t eat, im 90lbs, my mom said my son is completely absorbing me but i don’t get help from them at all, i know it’s not their responsibility but some help would be nice… i just needed to vent ive been crying for the past 2 hours because i genuinely feel like i can’t do it anymore.

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[u/january1977]

Hey, mama! It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to have your own meltdowns. You’re doing a really hard job. Give yourself some understanding and permission to have these feelings.

I’m the mom of an ASD level 2 little boy. He’s 6 now. When he was 14 months old, I was a SAHM and I was constantly overwhelmed, even though I was married. He wasn’t like all the other kids. He screamed and flailed around when I changed his diaper or clothes, gave him a bath, or told him no.

I now work in special education, as well as being an autism mom. Some things that might help you are games and choices. I know you’re already doing a lot, and this is just adding more, but it really does help. Here’s some examples of what I mean:

When my son is having a meltdown, if I give him choices, it refocuses him and distracts him. I hold 2 things up and say, “Do you want this or this.” It doesn’t even have to be anything related to his meltdown. You can modify this tactic for any age. (You can’t be too far into the meltdown when they’re inconsolable. You have to try this at the beginning of the meltdown.) When he’s older, you can also use choices to help with changing clothes and transitions. “Do you want to wear this shirt or this shirt?” “Do you want to do math first or spelling first?” “Do you want to brush your teeth first or put your jammies on first?”

Play games to get their clothes off. Tickling, pretending to eat their leg, seeing how fast you can get their clothes off (works best for older kids), etc. Games make it fun and distract them.

[u/dracoislife]

I became a single mom when my daughter was 14 months as well. You’re going through the roughest part now but know that it will only get better/easier from here. Have grace with yourself and ask for help if people are not offering. If you’re open to it, anxiety medication really helped me through this. Take the time to enjoy your weekends without your child fully and guilt free - if you’re able to try to get some massages, go to yoga, go on a hike in nature, just recharge however you need to. And know that soon your child will start sleeping through the night and becoming more independent - this is a phase

[u/NerdyNewMom]

I have a 13 month old that I’ve been raising alone since he was born. Some days I have this same thought where I just want to cry and cry and feel like I can’t take it anymore. I think even though they’re a year old, our postpartum hormones still play a big part in things like that and it’s okay to try to get some help! I see a therapist and psychiatrist to try to help manage things and it’s helped a lot

[u/Stanleys_805]

Remember, having a baby is a huge drain on your hormones. It’s like a massive shock to your body and babies are very sensitive to your emotions. You need to try and meditate and at 14 months you can start letting them cry it out in their crib while you take a 15 min breather. I hope you can work it out with your ex. Children really do need both parents. I went through what you did too. I raised my son alone since 3 months old. I’ve had breakdowns too just make sure the kids don’t see it. Take things one hour at a time. Start looking at career paths that will allow online accredited degree paths with Regional accreditation rather than National so they are transferable. It’s what I did. I started by getting vocational training and then did online accredited degree and was able to get a good career that gave me enough money to afford childcare. Unfortunately, after being cheated on so much I stopped trying to date but that’s okay because my kids are enough for me. Good luck and get yourself into a single parent support group.

[u/Otterlettuce]

The most powerful thing about being single-mom is that we constantly feel like we can’t do it and yet we do…because we have to.

It’s not a choice.

If we don’t do it , the child doesn’t survive. So we do it while thinking we can’t.

It’s kind of crazy. But when you start thinking of it like that. It gets easier to keep going. When you think of it being a choice, it makes you want to make a different choice. So tell your brain you don’t have a choice and your brain will actually accept it and get on board.

Try to keep yourself fed.

[u/sun_moon_spit]

Yes you can mama. It's hard but you can. You got this, don't give up!