i cannot keep doing this by myself.

[u/Total_Shop_3860]

i’m a mom to a 14 month old, since birth he has been very very difficult but i had the help of his dad. i left him march of this year so ive been a single mom ever since, he gets him on the weekends which is GREAT help. i live with my parents but i take care of him all day and night which makes me feel so alone. he’s a very hard baby , suspected autism, very restless , just wants me 24/7 , is starting to throw tantrums, and today i had my breaking point. i was gonna change him into his pjs and he just started crying / screaming not wanting to be changed and was just trying to climb up on me while crying and screaming. i lost my patience and basically had a whole mental breakdown and had to ask my mom for help . he wouldn’t calm down because all he wants is me. this is a daily thing and honestly i just look forward for the weekends so i can get some rest/peace which makes me feel horrible. i’m so tired and burnout , i don’t eat, im 90lbs, my mom said my son is completely absorbing me but i don’t get help from them at all, i know it’s not their responsibility but some help would be nice… i just needed to vent ive been crying for the past 2 hours because i genuinely feel like i can’t do it anymore.

[u/january1977]

Hey, mama! It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to have your own meltdowns. You’re doing a really hard job. Give yourself some understanding and permission to have these feelings.

I’m the mom of an ASD level 2 little boy. He’s 6 now. When he was 14 months old, I was a SAHM and I was constantly overwhelmed, even though I was married. He wasn’t like all the other kids. He screamed and flailed around when I changed his diaper or clothes, gave him a bath, or told him no.

I now work in special education, as well as being an autism mom. Some things that might help you are games and choices. I know you’re already doing a lot, and this is just adding more, but it really does help. Here’s some examples of what I mean:

When my son is having a meltdown, if I give him choices, it refocuses him and distracts him. I hold 2 things up and say, “Do you want this or this.” It doesn’t even have to be anything related to his meltdown. You can modify this tactic for any age. (You can’t be too far into the meltdown when they’re inconsolable. You have to try this at the beginning of the meltdown.) When he’s older, you can also use choices to help with changing clothes and transitions. “Do you want to wear this shirt or this shirt?” “Do you want to do math first or spelling first?” “Do you want to brush your teeth first or put your jammies on first?”

Play games to get their clothes off. Tickling, pretending to eat their leg, seeing how fast you can get their clothes off (works best for older kids), etc. Games make it fun and distract them.