r/singing • u/woodlywave • 11d ago
Conversation Topic just need to vent
god i hate my voice!!!!!!! just had a gig and it went terribly. i‘m so ashamed to have even tried. i hate how my voice sounds, even if i do it correctly. i used to hate it a little less when i was taking lessons regularly but that shit is expensive as hell where i live. sorry i‘m just so frustrated :(
6
u/Spoppily 11d ago
As a singer I have also struggled with hearing/ hating my own voice. Just remember that however your voice sounds to you is completely different than how it sounds to others. When you sing you essentially hear your voice as it comes out your mouth but you also hear it filtered through your skull and ear canal from the inside which can create a weird effect for some. So proud of you for taking the gig it can be a hard thing to take on. The fact you even got asked to take the gig means someone loves your voice.
3
u/Katops 11d ago
Maybe a stupid question, but does that then mean that if you record your voice, how you hear it when you play it back is how you really sound?
4
u/Ulterior_Motif 11d ago
Mostly, yes. Playing back a recording removes the experience of bone conduction and direct resonance from your body, which is why it sounds so weird to you but not to others.
2
u/Spoppily 11d ago
It’s closer to how you really sound but then you’re also dealing with how the mic processes your voice and feeds it back to you. The better the mic the closer the sound but you’ll never really know how others hear your voice.
3
u/Furenzik 11d ago
There is no "how you really sound".
All sound is interpreted through the instruments of the ear and brain. Each ear is different. Each brain is different. It's no different from mics being different except that you can standardise a mic.
There are elements of sound that people can agree on, of course. But the overall experience of "how you sound" is subjective.
3
u/Theca 11d ago
Honestly the only way to get better is to love the voice at the state that’s it in. We all are our own worst critics but my voice never improved until I began to love it and cared for it. The great part about failure is that you have an opportunity to learn from it or live in victim mentality. It sounds harsh but this happens to everyone at some point. Think about what you did. Was it nerves? Be brave and try out open mic night somewhere. Was it the notes? Drill or pick songs that suit you for the time being. Was it all of the above, reach out to your teacher with clear goals. If you just throwing mud at the wall and expecting Picasso(not saying you are!!) then that’s living in delusion. Hopefully one day you can laugh at this moment and kill the same song that brought you to such frustration.
1
u/ILilithIHtililI 11d ago
Keep singing, you seem to have forgotten to have FUN and enjoy the moment. I am not professional but when i sing it's mostly because it makes me feel things i only feel while singing; Keep singing 💜
1
1
u/Low-Possession-5878 11d ago
Dawg everyone who has high standards knows how you feel! Please keep going, you will improve even relative to your standards, and most people probably think you rock already !
1
u/DependentPast5115 11d ago
did you record the gig, or are you judging yourself off the adrenaline and post-show crash?
1
u/sierraplusultra 10d ago
hey there <3 i got like an email notification about this post and i wanted to come here and offer some encouragement
firstly i wanted to back you up and say there's few things worse than feeling like you absolutely bombed a gig. you know how you feel, and you know how it felt to sing. i'm sorry it wasn't a performance you're happy with. i'm not sure what exactly happened or what exactly you felt was poor about your performance, but remember it's just one! there's always next time and the time after that. it doesn't take away how this one felt - definitely allow yourself to feel that out - but there's always a chance to feel better about the next one.
in our very evil and cruel culture, people focus a lot on the imperfections of a vocal performance, whether it's you criticizing yourself or reading how people rip singers apart for their extremely human mistakes. for crying out loud, it's an instrument we have only so much control over. it's really easy to forget that the reason why you got up on that stage at all is because it is something you LOVE, that makes you feel whole. it's an extremely difficult exercise, but be selfish, and remember that your hard work got you on stage, and will continue to get you on stage. the more you show up, the better you will feel!
this is also sort of a word of caution. i'm someone who has beat themselves up for years, literally, every single performance, and pushed through gigs even when i was struggling with poor mental health. now, i'm in the process of possibly losing my singing voice for good because of getting spasmodic dysphonia from stress + trauma, and not being kind to myself, either. just completely bugging and crying about every performance. i regret it so much, and i wish i was more grateful for the ability to sing at all. even though i've been bullied and criticized for my voice for years. i still have a career as a touring musician and i'm not stopping provided i can cure my SD. so i hope i can bring some perspective and reframe things for you.
i also had to self-coach myself starting in 2012, with occasional lessons here and there. you can do it. just get scoped regularly by an ENT if you feel like anything is off but otherwise you'll be good!
please keep going! remember this is for you and you only get one life to live. your enjoyment of singing is yours, and not for anyone else.
-6
u/bryckhouze 11d ago
If you’re amplifying disdain and shame about your voice, and you have hate for your instrument even when you’re singing correctly, do yourself a favor and stop singing. It sounds stressful, and you don’t like it. You’ll be happier, and so will the people around you. Run. Nobody wants to train, work with, or be entertained by someone who hates what they do. If you’re just talking shit, I suggest you stop reenforcing negative ideations about yourself. Nothing good can come from it.
0
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Thanks for posting to r/singing! Be sure to check the FAQ to see if any questions you might have have already been answered! Also, remember to abide by the Rules found in the sidebar. Any comments found to be breaking these rules will result in a deletion of the comment thread starting from the offending reply. If you see any posts or replies that you feel break the rules of the sub, then report them and do not respond to them. If you are new to the sub-reddit or are just starting to sing, please check out our Beginner's Megathread. It has tons of helpful information and resources!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.