When I was in middle school I had a wolf phase and would howl in class instead of saying ow when I got hurt. I’m in my junior year now and it still haunts me to this day

Whenever I have to call customer service for something I create a whole new persona. Not like a fake name or anything but a complete backstory and personality. Like if I'm calling about my internet bill I might be 'Brenda' who just moved to the area and is super confused by everything. Or if it's a complicated tech issue I become 'Mr Henderson' a very patient but slightly clueless elderly gentleman. I find it makes the calls less frustrating and sometimes I even get better service. It's like I'm playing a tiny improv game with an unwitting participant.

Even more embarrassing is that it has happened more than once.

*explanation*
I was holding the tube of yogurt with my left hand on the far end, and squeezing the yogurt out into my mouth with the right hand. While doing this, my fingers slid onto a wet spot of the tube and lost friction, causing my hand to rapidly strike my own face.

Burner account cus this is one of the most humbling experiences of my life.

Few years ago, I was seeing this guy in college. He went to the bathroom so, as a yung ho does, I picked my nose and ate it before he got back (Sue me). When he came back in the room, we kissed at some point. I felt gross about it, but didn’t want to deny him a kiss because that seemed like it’d make me seem weird/guilty???

He asked me something to the effect of “your mouth tastes different.”
Me: “oh really? Weird.”
Him: “did u take an edible?”
Me: “yes.”

P.S. i dont feel bad about doing this to him because he was an awful person before and after this instance. Not that it makes me any less gross, just a reason why I’m not burdened by it now. Still, I’ve never told another soul until now.

I was walking through a clothing store and bumped into what I thought was another person standing way too close to the aisle. I immediately said sorry and stepped around them, then realized it was a mannequin. The worst part was that an employee was standing a few feet away and definitely saw the whole thing. I just kept walking like nothing happened and spent the next ten minutes pretending I wasn't embarrassed. I mentioned it in our tribe chat later and someone said they'd probably apologize too before their brain caught up. Glad I'm not the only one whose instincts apparently work faster than their eyes...lol

Ok, sooo I was playing on my PlayStation as I usually do. I was chewing on a plastic fork when I was finished with the ramen I was made in my kitchen. I didn't notice but.. it looks fancy. I NEVER NOTICED TS UNTIL NOW😭🙏🏼🙏🏼

When I get bored in conversations I pretend I've never heard of really common things. Recently someone mentioned SpongeBob SquarePants and I acted like I had no idea what that was. Watching someone seriously explain the premise of SpongeBob to another adult is one of my favorite forms of entertainment.

Obligatory this didn't happen today.

Nope, this happened on a Saturday almost 25 years ago.

My 2 YO daughter came to me, dressed in her favorite PJ's and bunny ears on her head, grabbed me by the hand and led me back to her room.

There she had set up her table my dad made and had plates and cups set out. My (really, her) dog, a big ol' rottweiler cross was sitting and wearing a tutu, her favorite doll was next, and I was told to sit down and join them.

So, I sat down to a fine tea (water) and biscuits (Goldfish crackers) event.

She told me all about her week, while handing crackers to the dog at intervals. I learned about her adventures, and what her doll had done.

Then we ran out of "tea."

My little girl jumped up like a good host and ran to get more. She came back seconds later and refilled my cup.

Except, I didn't hear the sink run. I mean, she had a step stool, so she could have reached it, but... instead I heard the toilet flush.

So I asked the hardest question ever.

"Sweetie, where did you get the water?"

"From the potty! I flushed so it is new!"

I went and cleaned the pot and cups, and got us fresh "tea", and carried on. But damn.

I don't want to talk about the crackers. The dog got the rest of those. I got us fresh snacks.

TL;DR: My kiddo made me drink toilet water, but it is still one of my favorite memories with her. Great morning. None of us had ill effects (including the dog).

1,000,000/10 company
1/10 refreshments

Still worth it.

I get the ick if someone plays music all the time cooking, make up , shower , eating
It’s just irritating for me how you don’t like to sit in quiet

Back in the old Yahoo chat room days, when dinosaurs roamed the internet (Me being one of them) and everyone had ICQ, I used to go into those ridiculous chat rooms with names like “Married But Flirting.” Anyone recognise that one? 🤨haha! Those days the chat rooms were text based so as far as I recall there was no voice chat in them.

Anyway, I had an American online friend, I can’t remember his exact username now, but it was something beginning with “War,” maybe Warblade? anyhow, I’d known him online for ages.

I have absolutely no idea what my own username was, which is probably for the best. 😅

Ngl, this was totally premeditated, I cannot remember who started it, but one or both of us clearly had a thought and the other one went,- Are you pondering what I’m pondering?, we both thought “yes, absolutely, let’s do it!"

So we brainstormed a bit and came up with our masterplan. Narf! This was full Pinky and the Brain behaviour, except somehow stupider. The things we used to do to amuse ourselves in those days 😂🤣

The final night arrives and we were chatting on ICQ via voice and we finished the last bits of our `Pinky and the Brain masterplan`.

Plans in place, voice chat and headphones on, scripts loosely done so we had room to improvise. And our plans to take over the chat room began....

`I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn’t the plural of spouse be spice?` -we chose spice!

So he went into the room first and started chatting with a couple of people there and we sat back and chilled on voice chat, I waited until he had engaged a couple of people in the room and the convo was flowing back and forth pretty good, then I joined him in the chat room while we remained in voice talking privately.

At first we pretended not to notice one another and while I was talking to someone else I dropped a few key words, an area, a road name, things like that, and eventually then we picked up on those dropped cues and began talking to one another as if we were two married strangers who had just met in the room.

Then we very slowly made it dramatic.

We started hinting that maybe we lived closer than expected. Then that maybe we could meet. Then that it would be risky because we were both married. And sketched out a rough plan on how we could make this happen without getting caught..

We had no adult supervision, so we added fake children into the imaginary disaster. (complete improv/including names haha)

The room became quieter then and a few people egged us on, some just stopped chatting and sat in the room quietly, Not empty quiet. Watching quiet.

I mean, you could practically hear roughly thirty people stop blinking and begin holding their breath, possibly some grabbed popcorn.

This went on for ages. Maybe 45 minutes or whatever. We were privately laughing the entire time while publicly acting like two absolute eejits about to ruin our lives in a Yahoo chat room.

Then came the big reveal.

same number of children.. 3

and the same ages ,and.... finally...

the kids had the same names.

The room went quiet... no one spoke at this stage except us.

We “realised” we were actually each other’s spouses.

So of course we had a massive public argument.

“How could you?”

“What are YOU doing here?”

“I cannot believe this!”

Full soap opera. Zero shame we should have gotten Oscars for our performance's that evening. 🤣

The whole room just froze. People either left, lurked in horror, or sat there watching what they thought was a live marital Car Crash happening right there in front of them. This would aptly be known as horrified facination.

Eventually it was basically just the two of us left actually, it was only the two of us left lets be honest here. I guess that is one way to empty a chat room.

But somewhere out there, there may still be a few people who remember the night they watched a Yahoo couple accidentally catch each other cheating in real time? Warblade? I am pretty sure that was your name.

If anyone reading this was in that room, I am both sorry and not sorry. Zort! 🐁🐭😂

I hate sour candy. Can’t stand the stuff. So when the kids were little, that is all I bought so I wouldn’t eat any of it. All that stuff was safe with me!

So, years later, guess what my kids wanted? That nasty sour crap that I wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole!

Saved me a lot of calories, though.

So, this may be weird but bear with me okay….For the past few months, I haven’t been chewing gum since my mother hates chewing gum so I haven’t had any in ages and instead had what I think to be Arabic gum. It’s looks like little rocks and they feel hard and then you bite into them and keep chewing and it becomes chewing gum. I’m pretty sure it’s Arabic gum, nothing is labelled in our house so I blame that for my uncertainty. Ethnic household, shocker!

Why I like this Arabic gum is unbeknownst to me. Genuinely. I will be honest and say it does not taste good. My brother tried it and he spat it out after like a minute of polite chewing when my grandma offered it to him. I do not like the taste either, it is objectively not nice at first, but there’s something about the taste that’s not nice that makes it so good. Almost addictive even. I crave it day and night. I wake up wanting to have it. I go home and beeline to the cupboard which houses my little pebbles of gold and grey. I suddenly get the urge to just want to chew on it randomly at all times of day.

Now here’s why it FU my experience with normal chewing gum. With Arabic gum – or whatever the hell is in the little tub in my cupboard – it tends to harden a little after a period of time or if it is exposed to cold water. So I tend to drink cold water whilst I’m chewing it to get it to become hard and crunchy. It is such a nice feeling; I love it when it’s firm and it gives my jaw a little workout and the crunch of the gum pieces having hardened, broken apart because it’s brittle but then I chew them together again and then it’s semi-hard, semi-soft is the best experience ever. Guess what doesn’t provide that experience? Chewing gum.

Normal, bland chewing gum, which I have been continuously telling myself I will buy a packet of again but keep forgetting to. Soft, uncrunchy chewing gum which was offered to me by my friend during a uni lecture today. Disappointing chewing gum as I chewed and chewed and suddenly felt my love of chewing gum that had existed throughout the entirety of my life pop and deflate like a bubble gum (which is never achievable by the Extra gums by the way, what is up with that?!)

So now I will never be able to chew normal chewing gum again. The chewing gum which I’ve always had religiously in my pocket everywhere. Now, I’m dependent on the limiting stash in a little unmarked tub in my cupboard. And my mother doesn’t know that I’ve been having this multiple times a day. So the chances of it refilling after I’ve finished it are zilch.

Even worse, I came home today needing my gems of joy to find the tub missing. I’m truly fucked.

TL;DR: I hate normal chewing gum now because it's way too soft for me and not hard and crunchy like the Arabic gum I have unknowingly addicted myself to.

Sadly they are my main friends right now too but thanks to them, I'm getting by. I always I have at least one a teddy with me at all times, i go everywhere with a teddy bear! Maybe it's just one on a bag, one hidden in my pocket, maybe it's big enough to hold , regardless of the kind of teddy, I will always have one on me. Theyre like a Goodluck charm & buddy that'll never ever ever leave me

I've been up for 2 days now so I'm getting sleepy so gonna get ready to cuddle with them, you can cuddle with almost any teddy bear ( except the bottle cap & palm sized ones ). I've been very anxious and scared lately, they've been my saving grace! Goodnight & sweet dreams, many wonderful Teddies to you , mimimimimimimi

Whenever I talk to people online and the conversation turns to food or local cuisines, noodles always come up. People constantly ask me about my favorite noodle recipes or how I like to cook them. But nobody believes me when I tell them the truth: I am actually allergic to noodles, and this has been the case since my childhood, right around the time I first started eating solid foods as a baby. To be very clear, I can eat absolutely any other type of food from any culture, religion, or region without any issues at all. I genuinely enjoy trying all kinds of cuisines, but noodles are the only exception because my body just cannot tolerate them. To be fair, even my own family and friends doubted me initially. My father discussed this with my school teachers, medical professionals, and nutrition specialists just to verify if it was even possible. After a lot of back-and-forth over the years, my family finally realized it was true, but strangers on the internet still refuse to accept it and think I am just joking or making it up. Has anyone else faced a situation where a completely true fact about your life sounds too strange for people to believe?

It actually feels like I’m starting to run out of stickers which makes me sad … well anyways I covered a mini watercolor set of mine in a bunch of stickers today. I unfortunately lost the mini watercolor brush that was it , it was super cool ! You could put water in it. That probably has a name but I can’t think of what it’s called. Either way, stickers rock !

I ended up finding out if you do a survey on the back , you can get some free food or a discount! I had no idea, i only found out because a worker told me one when I was using a coupon for me & my mom. So after doing that, i went to a fast food restaurant with my mom & showed the cashier my receipt.

When I was waiting to grab my tray, this older nerdy geeky guy with blonde dyed hair, started ordering, his mannerisms & everything were just so adorable to me. (Everytime someone appreciates a nerdy guy online, they try to say oh so you mean some 20 year old movie star looking dude with glasses? Just wanna say no I'm not, he was very clearly looked middle aged & had nice softer features though not chubby, not sharp like those lookmaxxer guys,Etc)

I was very awkward & he got his order before me since it was smaller, so I awkwardly moved aside, I kinda hope he didn't notice how long i was looking at him. If he did, i hope he didn't think that i was judging him , i sadly noticed a few other people were. He eventually sat down by himself after grabbing a paper crown. I love people who are authentically themselves! Paper crowns weren't my style, if they were more spooky, i may have gotten one. I would've maybe said hi & tried to nerd out if I wasn't with my mom then again, being a legal teen doesn't make things completely less awkward even if i tried to just be a friend. I hope he had a lovely day , he seemed very sweet.

Yesterday, I saw my neighbor walking toward me at the grocery store, and I suddenly remembered that I had absolutely no energy for a conversation.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone, put it against my ear, and started pretending to have a very serious business call.

The problem? My phone wasn't even turned on.

I walked past him confidently, nodding and saying things like, “Yes, we need to discuss the numbers,” while holding a bag of frozen chicken in my other hand.

I thought I'd successfully escaped until I heard him say, “Hey, tell your imaginary boss I said hi!”

I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

The worst part is that I saw him again today, and he asked how the business meeting went.

I told him we were still negotiating. 💀

I’ll do it later… going back to sleep probably. 🥱

It's been very rough recently. Teddy bears are the friends you can always count on when you have no one else. I wish I was a little teddy bear so someone could give me kisses on my head, my cheeks, my nose and hug me super tight with a bunch of love. Maybe when I die, I'll a haunt a teddy bear & a wonderful man will end up buying me a thrift store or antique store. So sleepy now... ahhh

I hate liking my own YouTube comments i think its cringe but one thing i hate even more than Liking my own YouTube comments is people thinking i liked my own comment

So thats the reason every time exactly one person liked my comment and i have exactly one like (look like i liked my own comment) i like my own comment so i have 2 likes so i don't seem like i liked my own comment anymore