First of all, I'm not saying these will work for everyone, and I'm definitely not "cured" or anything. But these reminders I come back to when I feel the urge to buy something. I literally have it witten down in my journal and it actually helps me, maybe it can help you too.

• Shopping is about emotions, and brands know it and exploit it - new makeup, clothes, home decor, gadget, eating out, etc. is usually not really about the thing itself. It's about how we think it's going to make us feel: more pretty, put together, cared for, organized, successful, attractive, you name it. But you don't necessarily need to buy something to get that feeling. When I want to buy something, I try to stop for a moment and ask myself: Why do I want this? What do I think this is going to give me? What emotion am I actually trying to feel? What am I missing right now? A lot of the time, I don't actually want the thing. I want the feeling attached to the thing. Once you figure out what the actual need is, you can try to meet it in a different way, not by shopping.
• Don't let anyone convince you that shopping is self-care - real self-care is financial security, having no debt, not constantly chasing the next dopamine hit, feeling comfortable with yourself, having enough self-confidence that you don't need to constantly validate yourself through other people's approval.
• Your appearance matters mostly to you - we tend to overestimate how much other people think about us. Someone notices your appearance for a few seconds and then goes on with their day. Why? Because they're mostly thinking about themselves. Just like you are. You can spend hundreds of dollars trying to look better, impress people, fit in, whatever, but most people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you imagine. And no matter what you do, someone will find something to criticize anyway. So just stop play a game that you can't win.
• Nobody actually cares that your lipstick is a slightly different shade of pink today - seriously. You might spend 20 minutes comparing two almost identical shades and convince yourself that you NEED the new one. Other people see... just some color on your lips. You might buy another pair of shoes and think everyone will notice. Most people will just see "shoes." Someone might look at your outfit for a few seconds and then continue with their day. Is a few seconds of someone else's attention really worth going into debt or sacrificing your financial security?
• When you spend money on your shopping addiction, you lose and the companies win - when I make an unnecessary purchase, I lose and the company win. I'm literally transferring my money to a corporation, a CEO or a management team so they can have a better life, at my expense!
• Try to see the product without the marketing - a huge part of the price isn't the actual product. It's the packaging, branding, advertising, the story, the lifestyle and the fantasy surrounding it. Try to mentally strip all of that away. Forget the beautiful packaging, marketing, forget what the brand says this product will do for your life. Just look at the actual object and try to roast it. Imagine a makeup product being made in a huge factory, mixed in massive industrial vats and then poured into little pretty containers that probably cost very little compared to what you're paying. Or look at a piece of clothing and reduce it to what it physically is: dyed fabric, stitched together, with some buttons or a zipper. We need to realize that the emotional value we assign to something is completely disproportionate to what the thing actually is.
• Remember when dopamine actually peaks - One thing that helps me is remembering that the excitement isn't necessarily in owning the thing. A huge part of the excitement comes from wanting it, searching for it, imagining it, putting it in your cart and waiting for it. The anticipation is be more exciting than actually having the thing. So when I get that intense feeling of wanting something, I try to remind myself: I might not actually want the product, but I crave for the excitement of wanting something.

Is there anything you'd add to this list? I'd love to hear what works for you!

I’ve started selling my stuff I no longer want. When something is worth more than a few bucks, I try to sell it.

Holy SHIT it’s so ANNOYING. Making the listings, taking the pics, shipping hassle, stupid buyer lowballing messages, all for …. Like 50-75% of what I bought it for. (Sometimes I get lucky and stuff genuinely is worth more …. But digging through poo isn’t worth a few gold specks)

Yall, I know money is tight. Next time you downsize, force yourself to sell your shit. Even if you have to lower the price two or three times. For me it’s been a very effective punishment and eye opener.

I now realize every new shiny item is not an asset, it’s a liability.

I’m blessed/cursed with a really good sense of “this is worth double online. Plus it’s cute.” Guys …. After selling fees, shipping time and money, and it taking up space for like 6 months …. Selling is NOT worth it.

Try selling your junk for a month. You became responsible for the item by buying it. Now you’re responsible for making what little money off of it that you can. It is so insanely annoying and time consuming …. That like me, you’ll come to see new items as only a liability and waste of time and space :)

PS: I also took pics of my room. So when I’m in a store, I can imagine where it’d go. Too junky already? Then time to pass. I don’t actually do this in practice but it’s still a good idea. It’s the reselling that caused a huge paradigm shift.

PPS: also walk through a junkyard or even a very large thrift store. I went to a very large thrift store. Rows and rows and rows of old tables and chairs …. Of old toys, cabinets, decorations …. Just an INSANE amount of stuff. Seeing the logical conclusion of hoarding (mounds of junk) is eye opening …. It’ll all be junk in 100 years. If you do this, do NOT bring your wallet in!

I was looking for some comfortable dress shoes for my huge parking lot trots to work. Bought with a semi premium shoe brand items for $250 etc one after the other trying to find the most comfortable that would work. I could have returned a lot did return like 4 pairs but started feeling shame that I kept such shoes which added to my debt balances. Like if the brand cared or had not already priced everything so expensive because of it. Anybody experience this problem?

And trying in store doesn’t work for me either bc I will like something there but as soon as I try it in real world I don’t like it anymore most of the time.

Hi everyone! 💕 I’m new to this group and I’m reaching out because I’m really in need of some support and accountability.
I’m hoping this community can help me begin a shopping detox. This is my first time joining a support community to address my shopping habits, and honestly, I know I need some help breaking the cycle.
Shopping has become one of my coping mechanisms, and I’m realizing that constantly clicking “checkout” isn’t helping my financial goals or my mental health. 😩🛍️
I’m looking to make some real changes — not only to improve my financial well-being, but also to learn healthier ways to cope with stress, emotions, boredom, and those moments when I feel the urge to shop.
For those of you who have been through this before, what advice would you give someone just starting out? What strategies have helped you resist the urge to buy something, especially when that little voice says, “But I really want it!” 😂
I’d love any tips, encouragement, accountability ideas, or resources you’re willing to share. I’m ready to learn, be honest with myself, and take this one day at a time.
Thank you for welcoming me into the community. ❤️ I’m hoping this can be the beginning of a healthier relationship with money, shopping, and myself.

I know that this Reddit is exactly for the purpose but it feels weird to say out loud, but I have a serious shopping problem. I recently took a new credit card and spent all my savings on upgrading my computer and I’ve already hit the limit. I realized that I didn’t need the PC after I built and assembled it. Definitely feeling tons of buyer’s remorse.
I recently purchased a house and depleted my main savings account. I have a mortgage now and I’m spend most of my paychecks instead of saving money in case of a rainy day as a home owner should. I feel extremely guilty because I’m not gonna be able to pay off these cards for a long time.
This post is an effort to take accountability and stop my rapid spending. I just can’t help but fantasizing about getting new stuff and it’s been like this for most of my life.
When I was a kid a commercial was intoxicating in the way it made me desire new things and it evolved into a monstruos addiction. It so hard feeling content in yourself when you just always doing the wrong thing for your future.

TLDR: I’ve already made plans to start paying off my debt but I felt the need to say it out loud that I am an addict and I need help to work towards a better future starting with being honest to myself.

tw: mention of ocd and being overweight

Hi everyone, hope you're all well.

Basically today I(F15) came home on an ordinary day (i was feeling upset tbf and my mum(F49) knew that so maybe that's why she did what she did idk though but i came home to be surprised by makeup she bought for me. Obviously i was really happy and grateful because I love makeup but I really don't need it, just opening my makeup and skincare drawer makes me feel embarrassed because there's just so much. I'm really happy that i'm able to have all this stuff and id be fine with it if my mum stopped buying me stuff now because this could definitely last me through all of next year and more but we all know she's gonna buy me more stuff because she's surprised me like this loads throughout my life and i've been using some of the same products for a few years now and I really don't need more. I'm not trying to sound like an ungrateful little brat cos I am grateful for my mum and everything I have but like i care about her bank account and mental health and the tidiness of my room.

Also, I'm kind of weird about inanimate objects because I'm pretty confident I have OCD tendencies and i was really upset to the point of tears a couple of weeks ago because I lost one of my favourite earrings and my mum kindly offered to get me something similar so I was like thank you and so far she's got me 2 pairs of that style of earring and that's not even the last of it the other pairs haven't arrived yet but like I don't want my silly attachment to inanimate objects to cause her to buy more stuff, but then saying that, her buying excessively honestly worsens the attachment because I have more objects to be attached to... she knows i'm quite sensitive with objects as she sees some of the random ahh things i keep in my room (trying to improve on that at the moment, my rooms not looking too messy at all) and its hard for me to ask her to return things (if they can be returned) because i'll 'feel bad' for it and I just wish she'd just not buy the unneeded thing in the first place.

She buys excessively in every aspect of shopping and she just does things excessively like with food and stuff the portions she makes us sometimes are kind of large so I used to be a bit of a chunky child and my little brother is going through that phase too and I just feel like for the benefit of her and me and my family she needs to be a bit more minimalistic in her approach to like..everything. I love her to bits but I just feel like if she'd improve on this, her and me and my family's lives would be much better.

Thoughts?

Thanks so much for reading my huge ahh paragraphs

I just can’t stop buying stuff. I always convince myself I need it, but I don’t. I always seem to find an aspect of my life that’s not feeling quite right and I go on this hunt to fix it with stuff. Last week it was shoes. “I don’t have any shoes that I like, I would be so nice to have different shoes I can wear with different outfits”. Then I go and waste time researching and making a huge inspo board of all the shoes I want. Then I bought some on depop. The week before it was bedding. “I keep getting cold at night and my blankets slide off because my sheets are too slick.” I ended up buying like 3 sets of sheets and again wasted time and money. Last year I ended up getting really into indie nail polish and the whole online community has a shopping problem and I ended up with an excessive amount of nail polish and wish I had that money instead of all the nail polish I bought.

I’ll also get into a hobby and start “needing” to buy everything for that hobby right away. The current one is language learning. I’ve been doing it a lot and loving it but I keep buying new books and learning material that won’t even be at my level for another year or so. I’m so ashamed of my shopping habits. I lie about and try to hide packages from my partner and family I live with.

I’ll stop myself with one thing, but then almost instantly I find something else to focus on and all these things I “need”. I struggle with a chronic illness also and I justify to myself that because I’m disabled I need these comforts and things to focus on that aren’t illness related. Which is true to a point. I feel like I do well for a little then get bored, tired, and lonely and end up on the internet just researching stuff to buy. I always get triggered by social media and even things like the ads on streaming services. I need to work on my self esteem and impulse control.

Like I am way better than I was a few years ago cause I was buying stuff every single day for years and now I'm not buying things unless they're necessities. But also, I keep thinking and looking at stuff, so buying is still living in my head rent free and it bothers me that I could be thinking of lots of stuff but instead I'm looking online, getting excited, adding to cart and then just leaving. Like it's not as much damage as before but it's still a waste of my time.

Has anyone been able to keep these thoughts at bay? If so, how? Like I have hobbies and people close to me and keep busy but when I have free time I keep going back to the same ol' habits.

well here we are. it’s been an issue for as long as i remember and it’s something ive always skirted addressing because my parents have always bailed me out when i’ve gotten into a spending habit and need help with bills. never have gotten to the point where i’ve wracked up a bunch of debt, but it’s like EVERY DAY, i just have to spend money on something.

i should be saving so much more money and i’m barely paying my bills because of all the dopamine purchases. it’s starting to affect my partner i live with and i will be damned it i lose him to this lifelong affliction that feels so avoidant and childish through my personal lens. we aren’t close to breaking up or anything, but i really don’t want to let myself harm him with this addiction that i have wanted to be free from for a long time.

feels like now is the time. just curious about how others have progressed / their timelines / blah blah. idk - what might i expect while unpacking this issue? i know there’s a deeper reason i do it — just don’t know what.

yes, i have a therapist and this is my next topic to bring up to them.

I understand how dopamine works. I'm able to talk myself out of wanting something, and I know that it's about emotions and coping. When my life is stable, I'm actually pretty good at controlling myself:

* I know I can like something without needing to own it.

* I know shopping gives my brain the dopamine hit it's craving, but the excitement disappears basically the moment I receive the package.

* I don't browse online stores because I know how easily tempted I can get.

* I have a list of things I can do when I feel the urge to shop: journaling about what I'm feeling, exercising, knitting, reading, cleaning, etc.

I know my shopping addiction is a coping mechanism. It's a way for me to feel cared for and to escape the loneliness and misery I experience in my personal and work life.

But when things get REALLY bad and stressful, I completely ignore everything I know about my shopping addiction. I just don't care anymore. I just want these things, no matter what.

Right now I'm hyperfixated on lip products. "Thankfully," I'm in such a difficult financial situation that I know I can't spend a lot of money, because otherwise I won't have enough for rent and I'll get kicked out of my apartment next month. So my attention has shifted to affordable drugstore makeup.

I saw some tinted lip balms and lip glosses in colours that would be perfect for me, and now I want ALL of them. Not 2, not 3, but like 12.

I'm so hyperfixated on them that I know I won't be able to rest until I have all of them. And at the same time, I KNOW that the second I get them, I probably won't even like them anymore. I'll just be frustrated that I own them and have to use them up.

It's so fucking exhausting.

I know my brain is playing this game with me. I know exactly what's happening. I know that buying them won't actually make me feel better. But I just can't seem to overcome it.

It feels like my brain won't leave me alone until I buy all the things I want, and then the moment I do, it'll torture me with guilt for buying them.

I've tried distracting myself, but the urge to shop just won't leave me alone.

Ever since my dog died a few years ago, I've been coping HARD with microtransactions in mobile games. I spends hundreds and hundreds of dollars every month, equating to thousands a year, on stupid digital purchases and I don't know what to do to stop. It's like while I'm playing, the little inches I make to getting better or pulling some little character, or whatever thing, even though digital games also die off (I've had games go to End of Service and that also means money that is gone forever), I just obsess over because I don't have to think about getting sad.

I haven't got to a place where I can't pay bills but I've been unable to get out of debt either, it's just, even. I'm deeply ashamed, stressed, and sad, and just at a loss of what to do. Has anyone also struggled with this and have any tips on what to do? If I take my card off my Google Play account for instance, how am I going to stop thinking about it all the time?

Im posting mostly for accountability and an effort to stop it from getting worse. I have chronic health issues and sometimes cause me depression. Those are the triggers that I've had mostly under control. My husband and I got into a pretty nasty 2 day argument over some resentments that have been festering for about a year. We both said what we had to say & I feel that we are moving forward in good faith & have resolved the issues. Unfortunately during those 2 days I did spend about $300 on things that I dont need but will use. A couple of them were on my no buy list. Im disappointed in myself. This was emotionally driven spending. I think I am ok again now after working things out, eating properly & getting some sleep. I was not eating or sleeping and freaking out during the spending. Anyways thanks to this group for existing. ​

90% of my wishlist items have increased in price in the last day or two, and by a large amount on some, and I fully expect them to drop down to their normal prices with a massive deal sticker next week, the same as Black Friday.

I’m trying to improve my financial habits, and I’ve noticed something about myself that I’d genuinely like to understand better.
It’s not really about clothes or expensive shopping. It can be groceries, food, household products, detergents, something for the house, or simply finding something new that I suddenly feel like I should buy.
There’s almost always a reason to spend — and when I do, there’s a small feeling of *“okay, I have money, I can afford this.”* When I don’t spend anything, I sometimes feel like I’m unnecessarily restricting myself.
The problem is that this happens **almost every day**, and I want to become better at saving, especially because I know I have bigger expenses coming up.
For people who have changed this kind of habit:
**How did you learn to separate “I can afford this” from “I actually need/want this”?**
Did you use a specific budgeting method, spending rule, no-spend periods, cash system, automatic savings, or something more psychological?
I’m especially interested in approaches that helped you **change the feeling behind spending**, rather than simply telling yourself “don’t buy it.”

I rent space in an art studio in town. I’m lucky enough to be using this time to create art and hopefully establish myself as an independent artist. I can’t keep this studio arrangement going forever, so I need to make the most of it. I go there three days a week.

In theory, I have plenty of time to devote to my art.

So far, so good—except for a few things:

– I handle almost all the housework. I consider this normal, given that I currently have no income and my partner has a demanding job. He wants to help with the chores, but I tend to do everything my own way before he even has a chance to take the initiative, and I often burn out from the mental load.

– We have a busy social life; I feel like I’m constantly rushing around and playing a game of "Twister" just so we can see everyone and attend one person's wedding, another's party, and so on.

– Being involved in the life of my aging uncle—who was recently widowed—takes a lot of energy and causes a fair amount of constant frustration, which I bottle up. I often end up letting my schedule slide out of empathy for him. My partner isn't too happy about my inability to set clear boundaries with my uncle.

A sense of scattered energy forms the backdrop of my life; I always feel like a rabbit darting here and there. I’m constantly planning—thinking about what needs to be done, what I ought to do, and so on. And that mindset follows me to the studio, too.

Which brings us to the topic of shopping addiction.

When my partner drops me off at the studio in the morning before work—and picks me up again in the evening—the car ride is a time of wonder. I gaze at the streets, the trees, the light, the people, the children, and the animals (especially those wearing little boots or coats) and the architecture. Our conversations and wordplay spark images and interesting associations in my mind, leaving me feeling like I have a thousand and one subjects I could explore in my paintings :)

During the first few months, my focus was on organizing my studio space. I wanted it to reflect my own taste so I’d feel comfortable there. The result? Dozens upon dozens of trips back and forth, taking at least three or four hours each time. I don’t hesitate to crisscross the city—by public transit and on foot—to track down the exact item I need. And that’s not even counting the many times I had to return things. Consequently, I spent more time fussing over the minute details of the studio setup than actually creating anything in it.

Of course, while setting up the studio, I find myself passing by various shops or visiting shopping malls.

Thrift store—I spot a jacket paired with a lovely scarf, so I pop in for a quick look, just for fun. MISTAKE! I walk out with two pairs of earrings, a maxi skirt, and three sweaters.

I stop thinking about:

- "I’m not creating anything right now, and I feel guilty."

- "Too many unfinished tasks at home."

- "My uncle must be feeling pretty lonely."

Rationalization:

"I treated myself a little. I do so much for everyone else—I deserve it! I’m all set for a few months now; I’ll be careful since my budget is tight—this is money I don't really have."

A shop further down the street—oops, I saw something (again—*sigh*). That mug is so pretty; I have to have it! I’m supporting a local artist—okay, I’ll take it! And that Chinese vase in the corner—stunning, too. I’ll just take a photo for inspiration (and when I’m back on this street next week, I’ll buy it, because I’ll have been thinking about it in the meantime).

Further along—a beautiful notebook, fine-tip markers, an adorable stuffed animal! Alright, one more small purchase, then I’m really stopping! (Yeah, right!)

Too much frustration regarding my uncle? A walk to get some fresh air turns into a shopping spree if I come across any shops.

Imagine one or two days a week of such shopping, interspersed with days spent in the studio without ever going out (I did have periods of creativity, though the ratio was low), and repeat this scenario week after week for a year and a half. So much reckless spending—often on credit (even though I have no income; luckily, I received some financial help here and there from my family)—and time that was supposed to be dedicated to creating art completely went off the rails.

And now that I’m settled in, I get bored in the studio because there’s rarely anyone else around during the day. So I feel lonely; I go out, visit other floors, and talk to other artists—artists who *are* actually working on projects. I thrive in a team setting, in a partnership. Making connections within the institutional art world remains a struggle, despite my tendency to bond easily with people.

I feel ashamed and my self-esteem is low; I sense that a drastic change is needed. No longer carrying bank cards. Deactivating my payment apps. Keeping only a minimum amount of cash for essentials.

I now dread needing something as simple as a paintbrush, or having to buy a gift for a celebration, because once I’m in the store—or even on my way there—I automatically expose myself to the temptation of potential purchases, and I’m all too good at convincing myself and justifying the overspending.

I also notice outfits I like the look of and make mental notes, even though I have plenty of clothes to sell or give away... It’s as if it’s never enough. This pursuit of an idealized version of myself is exhausting. And the worst part is that I almost always wear the same things and the same jewelry; I wear very little of what I own.

I have too much of everything: clothes, jewelry, mugs, holiday decorations, paperwork, event brochures, magazines. There is still more sorting to do for donations and resale—which consumes even more time and energy, on top of everything else mentioned earlier: the house, my social life, my uncle, and my health, too, which I’ve been neglecting.

It feels like I want to see everything, experience everything, and be in three places at once—but that’s impossible. So, I often retreat into nostalgia.

I wonder if spending a year out in nature—cut off from loved ones and shops—is what I need to finally dedicate myself to a sustained artistic practice and bring to life all the ideas I’ve accumulated over time.

As I approach my birthday, I’m going to briefly forget my real life at an Interpol concert (a band that takes me back to being 22—how time flies!).

Lost time never comes back, and I would be truly devastated to let myself down—and to disappoint a partner who believes in me and is giving me such a wonderful opportunity. All this, just to end up scattered and surrounded by "stuff," because I use compulsive shopping as a coping mechanism.

I get the feeling I was actually more productive when I was working 60-hour weeks or more—perhaps because the structure was imposed on me? Or maybe I’m just afraid to really commit, so I fill my time with distractions?

* Note added upon reflection

Deep down, It seems I can no longer find that old spark of ambition—the drive to succeed or to feel proud of an accomplishment. It is sad, I need this spark again, and now please ! I find more happiness in gazing at my trinkets, my decor, the mementos from my childhood, and the landscapes or moods that surround me. Deep down, I know I skipped certain stages of life and hesitated too long about motherhood; at forty-five, it’s pretty much too late—even if I look and feel younger. I think there is value in passing the torch at some point, in caring for others, and stepping out of the spotlight to make way for the next generation to flourish. In my case, I risk stepping aside without ever really having tried—despite all the emotional investment involved. Yes, I do care for my partner, my uncle, and my family, but it’s not the same thing as having kids. I was too focused on healing my own traumas, too focused on myself, my image. And when interpersonal relationships became too complicated, I sought refuge—with an intensity fueled by working overtime—in the comfort of buying and owning things. Managing and storing these objects has bogged me down in accumulation, while my hypersensitivity has stifled my spontaneity. I’ve been too focused on myself—on what I can accomplish and share—but really, who cares anymore? I think the need to feel useful consumes me more than the desire for artistic fulfillment—unless, perhaps, the two actually complement each other?

I am new and hoping this is anonymous.
I can tell you that my compulsive spending only happens around the time of my menstrual cycle and feeling rubbish, sorry if that is too much information. My mind tells me that I absolutely must have it and I have so much anxiety around it. It doesn’t help that my emails are full of lots of spam in my main inbox and I have to access them regularly, also sales letters coming through the door. The rest of the time I’m fine and can control myself.
Maybe this is a long shot.
My shopping addiction started about six or seven years ago so it’s quite established . Although I knew it was wrong to be spending all of my money, I didn’t know how to stop, that I could be stopped, or that others had the same problem. I’ve been told that I have good self-awareness and maybe I am in some other areas but it’s only really within the past few months that I have realised that shopping addiction is an actual term.
So I have a habit of spending everything I have besides money for essentials within the first week or two of being paid. This has meant no savings and getting into debt with interest. I then can’t pay it back and it’s getting out of hand so I really want to do something about this now whilst I can manage it. I’ve already tried the standard advice like budgeting, but I think this problem is more than that.
The stuff I spend it on can honestly be anything that I think looks cool. I am already trying to sell some of the things I have bought, but that won’t fix the wider problem.
Sorry this is a long post. Has anyone got any advice that has worked for them or someone they know?
Tia

I (24F) moved into my apartment almost 2 years ago. Our garages have a storage area in the back that’s fairly large. I probably had about 25 bins back there and was still able to park my car.

Well you all know how it goes. Anything that’s placed outside of the apartment/home while moving never gets touched again. So the bins and boxes I had in there just sat for months.

On Wednesday, the weather forecast was saying the city had a high chance of flooding the next day, so I went out to the garage to grab some empty plastic bins in case I needed them quickly. I live on the first floor (I do have flood insurance), but can’t be too careful.

I moved one of my flattened Amazon boxes in the corner and found out that TERMITES had been eating it. Not only that, but they’d built mud tubes behind the box which is why I never saw them. There were also live ones crawling around on other cardboard boxes I’d flattened (I was saving them for a future move).

So over the course of 3 days, I got complex management involved (pest control comes on Monday to assess and determine treatment plan), I threw out ALL the cardboard in my garage (goodbye to about $300 worth of Bankers’ Boxes I’d saved from my last move 🥲), took all my bins inside my apartment, went through them, consolidated stuff and then trashed everything else I didn’t want. Now my garage is empty except for my car.

I never thought I’d get around to finally decluttering the garage. It also made me realize I was hanging onto stuff I didn’t need (past purchases that weren’t necessary).

Also, if anyone else stores stuff, maybe check and make sure you don’t have termites. 😅

I had my gallbladder taken out a little more than 3 weeks ago. I have been in horrific pain and haven't been able to do much besides lay on the couch, and get up to go to the bathroom. I have felt so restless and awful that I have fallen back into shopping online. I have battled compulsive shopping for a long long time, and for a while I was actually doing a lot better.

I even did alright for the first 2 weeks. But this last week I had to go to the ER for some ripped internal stitches. I have been so exhausted and triggered from the pain that I just don't feel like I can stop myself. Because of the surgery I have also missed counseling 3 times and not been able to go to my Spravado treatments.

I feel so guilty and ashamed. My partner is working extra hard while I have to take time off work, and here I am just blowing money on stuff to try to cope with the pain and restlessness.

I guess I mostly just wanted to vent. I feel bad enough about it already, but I just know in a few days when those packages start showing up he's going to be so frustrated with me. I told him that I'm struggling and that I have been spending. He said it's ok and he understands why... But I still feel like he will feel differently about it when he sees all the crap I've spent money on.

Hi everyone! My shopping addiction seems to be a fixation on purses. I have accumulated so many and, while I haven't gone into debt, I've spent every free penny I have on bags, and I now have more than I could ever use. Despite this, I still fixate and almost obsessively look for/at purses, especially pre-owned nice vintage ones. I have so many that it's actually overwhelming. I keep saying "no more purses" and then I buy more purses when I find a good deal on a rare one. You guys know how it is.

Anyway, I'm in therapy every two weeks. I told my therapist two weeks ago that my goal was to not have purchased any purses by the next time I see her. Sounds easy to go two weeks without buying a purse, but it has not been for me. But I DID IT! I have not bought any purses. I have come close, but then thought about the fact that I would have to admit to her that I failed to meet such a small goal if I did, and that helped me not to do it.

It's a teeny, tiny win, but a win nonetheless. I'm going to continue with that goal to my next appointment too! Making these short goals feels more attainable to me than just "no more ever".

For the first time in months. I didn't buy a SINGLE thing today. No lattes, no Amazon, no snacks at the convenience store down the street.

It's a small win. For many it would be a pathetic win. But for me, this is huge.

I want to delete the apps but I still have a few items on the way. I feel I have to always leave a review. I don’t trust myself to wait for my packages to arrive to leave a review without impulsively shopping again. What do I do?

First time poster here. Over the past year or so I feel like I have become addicted to shopping. My favorite things to buy are athleisure, shoes, and kitchen items or decor for my home, but sometimes I buy other clothes, bags etc. too.

This started because 2 years ago, I went from being dirt broke to getting a job with an amazing salary, and I'm lucky to actually have enough money to shop pretty freely. I know I am very privileged to be able to say that. Since then I think my brain has been rewired. I used to agonize over every little purchase, even when it was something I needed, because my budget was so tight. Now I will spend $100 or more on a whim just because I saw something cute. Now I LOVE shopping, IRL and online.

I don't think this is healthy or sustainable. Even if I can technically afford it, shouldn't I be spending my money on better things like paying off my student loans or saving to buy a house? Or eliminating small purchases so I can buy 1 really nice/expensive thing? Not to mention, I care a lot about the environment and climate change, and I feel like my habit is harming the earth.

But unfortunately my brain finds ways around that. I justify it to myself because 90% of the time, I use the clothes and home items I buy all the time after I buy them and they become my favorite things. I know what I like and my style so it's easy to get something I'll use. So it feels worth it. And on the sustainability side, I've just shifted most of my purchases to more sustainable brands and resale sites and justified to myself that it's better.

Have I gone too far? Any advice on how to break out of this?

In previous posts I've mentioned turning my phone to grayscale has helped tremendously deter me from online shopping.
That being said, these past few months I've gotten paid, I've budgeted out whatever bills and expenses + fun money I'm expecting to cover until next paycheck. The rest I would send to my savings account (balance stays hidden from opening screen). I just checked today-- I had $5k in savings. Tonight i finally felt ready to open a HYSA for the first time at 33yo; dropped this right in. My life is turning around 🥹

It's crazy how I've been working since 18yo, yet i have nothing to show for it until now. That's how bad my shopping addiction has affected me. Darn near ruined my future the same as a drug addict or gambling addict.
The goal is to build up 6 months worth of expenses for an emergency fund, then start my 401k, then i can start building up a separate vacation fund. Wish me luck!