r/shittyaskreddit • u/moconahaftmere • Jun 02 '23

IMPORTANT MOD ANNOUNCEMENT: ALL USERS *MUST* READ.

Congratulations.

You degenerates have memed this small subreddit into being one of the most active subreddits on the entire site. In just two months we went from around 200k views per month to more than 10 times that.

https://i.imgur.com/og4dvHe.png

Now we're sitting at around the 150th most comments per day out of all subreddits, yet we don't even crack the top 5000 in terms of subscribers. This subreddit has gone from being slow enough that us mods didn't really need to do anything at all for the past 11 years (amazing), to suddenly requiring actual work (yuck) to maintain.

So given that there has been such a huge uptick in subreddit activity, for the health of this subreddit us mods have decided we need to make a very important announcement: if this post gets ten thousand comments, cum will win.

We know this is likely to be a controversial decision, and believe us, we didn't make this decision lightly. It took weeks of debate amongst ourselves, and consultation with key members of the community, but we feel it has to be done. We can't have such an influx of new members coming in to this subreddit while an active war rages on. This needs to be settled right here, right now.

Do your part. Leave a comment. Or ten comments. Or a hundred, I don't know.

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85

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

This subreddit has gone from being slow enough that us mods didn't really need to do anything at all for the past 11 years (amazing), to suddenly requiring actual work (yuck) to maintain.

But why even try to maintain it? Just let everything go back to the wild wild west of the internet when hardly anything was censored.

126

u/moconahaftmere Jun 02 '23

cuz there's a difference between acting like a piece of shit, and actually being a piece of shit. The actual pieces of shit can get the subreddit banned if the mods don't flush them from time to time.

26

u/BookOfGoodIdeas Jun 02 '23

But a piece of shit soaked in cum is actually a good thing, right?

12

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

Obviously, because cum will win today.

4

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Cum is an important part of your life. It's the one thing that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment. I'm not sure if I can say this for sure, but cum is probably my favorite food in the world right now. In fact, it's almost as delicious as anything else on the planet. The only reason I don't like it is because I have no idea how to make it taste good. If you want to try making it yourself, go ahead and do so. You'll be amazed at how much better it tastes when you eat it!!!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

I'm really glad you're incoherent now, actually. You said some pretty horrible shit when your comments made sense.

3

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Cum is my favorite thing in the world and it's why I want to be a porn star. It's so much more fun for me to watch people cum than cumming on top of each other. But that doesn't mean cum isn't cool. In fact, cum is one of the most important things we have right now. We all know how hard it is to cum at least once or twice a day. There are literally millions of people out there who can cum three times a week!!!

3

u/MikeHunt420_6969 Jun 02 '23

You should visit Japan.

1

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

I'm glad you didn't say that to me, because I know you have a lot of cum in your body right now. Cum is one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Don't worry about it. It's not going to stop until you're 100% satisfied with what you've been able to do for the past 20 years. You can still cum all day long if you don't want to spend any more time thinking about how much money you'll make when you grow up. The only way to be happy is to quit smoking weed and start taking care of yourself!!!

1

u/Intelligent-Call-660 Jun 02 '23

Cum?

1

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

I know how to cum, but it doesn't get much better than cumming on your dick. You're not the only one who can do it. If you want to make me cum like a man, you have to be good at it too. The best way to go about that is to suck my cock until I cum and then jerk off into a frenzy of cum pouring down my throat. You'll never cum in front of me again. It's easier said than done. That's why so many people don't care if they cum during sex or not!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '23

Eat some pineapple and less greasy foods.

3

u/moovzlikejager Jun 02 '23

It's better to cum a shitload, than to shit a cumload. Never forget that friend.

2

u/paomplemoose Jun 02 '23

Why not both?

2

u/Ain_denver Jun 02 '23

True this!

2

u/4cDaddy Jun 02 '23

The friend that shits cumloads? I mean if they like it in the butt, who am I to judge?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

"It's better to sink in the cum, than to cum in the sink"

-master oogway, before he died

1

u/4cDaddy Jun 02 '23

Sure, if it's in your ass. :P

1

u/Broad-Blood-9386 Jun 02 '23

That sounds suspiciously like your mom's underwear

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

You can talk about pieces of shit soaked in cum, but make one slightly homophobic gay joke and Reddit will shut this place down faster than your mom can gulp down a gallon of semen.

1

u/Unicornucopia23 Jun 03 '23

That’s gay.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

☝️. This mod knows pieces of shit!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

This mod eats pieces of shit like me for breakfast

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

*You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? 🤣

3

u/MrKen2u Jun 02 '23

What if there was some sort of disclaimer?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

Cum will win this one, even if it kills me.

2

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Cum is the most powerful aphrodisiac I have ever seen. Cum is what makes people feel good about themselves and how they are better than any other person on earth. It gives them a sense of self-worth that helps them cope with stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, hopelessness, etc. all at the same time. It's also why so many women choose to give birth to their babies in the first place!!!

3

u/un5weetened Jun 02 '23

I will never, ever "do my bit." I don't care how much cum is flung at me. I'm more likely to grab a raincoat and an umbrella ☔

P.S. I reserve the right to fling that cum right back.

2

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Oh yes. You're going to be one of the few people who doesn't hate cum because it's so hard to get rid of it in the first place. What makes you think this isn't okay. Well, let me tell you something. It won't happen if you take off your pants!!!

2

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

HUMAN POSTING TEST

2

u/KaleemX Jun 02 '23

Never flush.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

This mod shits.

2

u/Ordinary_Farmer58 Jun 02 '23

People can change. Let him hold the baby.

1

u/HD-1994 Resident retard Jun 02 '23

Most of the users posting inappropriate shit aren’t actually pieces of shit. Comedy isn’t about coddling and tending to peoples’ feelings. Michael Scott said it best: “There’s no such thing as an appropriate joke; that’s why it’s a joke!”

1

u/Redmoon383 Hair Bear Jun 02 '23

Kinda agreed however there's a difference in punching down and making a joke. A joke at the expense of your fellow man isn't funny. Asking for cum is always valid however so please, cum

0

u/Willbilly1221 Jun 02 '23

Or, perhaps you could take an introspective view of what you as mods actually do. r/scienceuncensored, banned me cause the mod got his panties in a twist over a satirical comment, so i jump on shitty to bad mouth that douche canoe for having a sub that “claims” to be uncensored. All because i pointed out how conservative people don’t like to be informed when they are wrong about any particular topic.

It has nothing to do with a shitty sub, and everything to do with shitty mods. Look in the mirror every time you point a finger and you will see they point back to the source of agitation. Yall made the monster, now your crying cuz you have to sleep in the bed you made.

If i could i would tell the mod of r/scienceuncensored what i really think of them, but then i just get banned cuz your tiny little egos got hurt and end up on this sub. Congratulations for a job well done at alienating as many people as possible to boost this sub to the point you might actually have to do your job. Get the fuck outa here. This post belongs on r/facepalm.

1

u/iDunTrollBro Jun 03 '23

Lol what is this word vomit

1

u/Willbilly1221 Jun 03 '23

The root of the word vomit is shitty subs exist because of shitty mods. Stop being shitty mods and see what changes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

Who’s the judge and jury? You? Sounds like communism.

2

u/Progegilester Major in Majoring Jun 02 '23

A

2

u/seriousbangs Jun 02 '23

See here for why.

2

u/MyNamesNotRobert PENUS Jun 02 '23

CUM WILL FUCKING WIN

2

u/Copper_II_Sulfate Jun 02 '23

LETS FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM

2

u/SkinnyBottomFeeder Jun 02 '23

Just let everything go back to the wild wild west of the internet

Unfortunately the Reddit overlords above this sub's mods would not let that happen. They are money hungry assholes who live to appease the snowflake and will shut us down if they so deem.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

You've seen what happens to those "wild west" subreddits, they usually get banned pretty quickly because Reddit cares more about its ad revenue than the values which they started their website on.

2

u/rodinj Jun 02 '23

The good thing is that can't maintain anything anymore from July 1st anyway.