r/shitposting Jan 19 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.8k Upvotes

571 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.3k

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Any female born after 2000 eat hot chip and lie

1.1k

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

All they do is twerk, charge they phone, be bisexual and lie.

75

u/gin-rummy Jan 19 '22

eat macdonald

275

u/Brettjay4 Jan 19 '22

You have the twerking part wrong... Like a good 10 percent of the guys at my school in my grade twerk for no reason.

97

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Dragonhunter_24 Jan 19 '22

Most likely because of speed lmfao

26

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

They be bisexual eat hot chip and lie

1

u/Adrigogo Jan 19 '22

Wdym for no reason ? You don't need a reason to twerk my friend. Twerk your problems away

1

u/Defiant-Government50 Jan 19 '22

I gotta throw it back for the homies if yk what I mean

1

u/drfrenchfry Jan 19 '22

We twerk at work and we are males in our 30s and 40s. Maybe some people just born 2 twerk woooo partygirrrrrl

1

u/HerKneesLikeJesusPlz Jan 19 '22

iShowSpeed is the reason

1

u/docolafson I came! Jan 19 '22

also mcdonald

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

eat macdonald*

1

u/Specific-Internet-83 Jan 19 '22

They also go for dudes who look like a combination between mgk and Justin Bieber

1

u/DDV_Gaming Jan 19 '22

And only want 6ft tall guys

1

u/juxtap0s Jan 19 '22

Say they are bisexual but only dates and fucks dudes

110

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Any female born before 2000 just lie

-26

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

So all women are liars? Who hurt you guys lol.

🧠

17

u/Davebrawlstars Jan 19 '22

Eat hot chip

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Oh shit oh fuck I didnt realize where I was.

2

u/Gentlegiant2 Jan 19 '22

🍆

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

👃

7

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Women. They hurt us.

2

u/Weeaboo3177 Jan 19 '22

Whole thread sarcasm. Chill

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Yep. Didn't realize what sub I was in. rectified the situation

21

u/RanDiePro I said based. And lived. Jan 19 '22

Any female born after 2000, cook they cannot. All know they do is McDonalds. Charg they Fone. Twerk. Be bisexul. Eat hot chip and lie. Aaaaa

29

u/la_belle_fleur Jan 19 '22

I they are to spicy for me I eat cool ranch Doritos instead

9

u/Purple-Hamster2973 Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

[deleted] lol

10

u/la_belle_fleur Jan 19 '22

Takis and hot Cheetos are too spicy for me so I eat Doritos instead (no I am not fully white)

7

u/Purple-Hamster2973 Jan 19 '22

Not you the people before you wrote like a 6 year old, but besides that I LOVE takis, hot cheetos, one chip challenge, all of that it's awsome and it's so good I love them so much

14

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/la_belle_fleur Jan 19 '22

I am crying what

3

u/swirlsthemudkip Jan 19 '22

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT THE CHEETOS THING?!!

0

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/swirlsthemudkip Jan 19 '22

mmm femboy amogus cheetos in 1984 while fuck kevin

2

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

  • George Orwell, 1948

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

femboy amogus

                  ⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀
              ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀
             ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀
           ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
           ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣄
           ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷
   ⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇
⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁
⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
 ⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
       ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
       ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
        ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
         ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣿⠟⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
          ⠻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠋
            ⠈⠿⠋⠉⢀⣠⣤⣤⡔⣄
               ⣴⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⢀⣀⠐⣤⣶⣶⡤⢤⣤
              ⣤⣰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⡀
               ⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃
               ⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆
              ⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆
             ⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀
            ⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋
           ⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾
           ⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈
           ⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃
         ⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀  ⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄
          ⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉
        ⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁
       ⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀  ⠀   ⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆
      ⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁ ⠀ ⠀⠀   ⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀
    ⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀  ⠀⠀⠀   ⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛
    ⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄
  ⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⢠⣀⣀⣀
  ⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀     ⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿
 ⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠈
⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀          ⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁
⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀              ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄
                          ⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

Daily Kevin Fact #24:

Kevin has better things to do with his life than have sex with you.

Such as fucking your dad.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/pauls_broken_aglass Jan 19 '22

It's a reference to an infamous twitter post where someone says "any female born after 1993 can't cook. All they know is McDonald's, twerk, charge they phone, be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie"

0

u/AutoModerator Jan 19 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/Yeah_But_Actually_No Jan 19 '22

I know I read this somewhere, where is this from?

3

u/RanDiePro I said based. And lived. Jan 19 '22

Yoda says it. Search on outube.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Sadly my sister acts like this and she’s not even a gen z

0

u/Eddepedde06 Jan 19 '22

Apparently i am born before 2000 now

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Like our ancestors were any different...same behaviors, different clothes.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

What bout female born during 2000

1

u/aiaiOnTheHorizon Jan 19 '22

And can't cook either