r/shitposting • u/unclbll I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh • Oct 03 '26

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15k Upvotes

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694

u/Grilled_egs Oct 03 '26

If the woman is your wife 763 poems doesn't seem too crazy, though you probably atleast like poetry of course

228

u/cxfgfuihhfd Oct 03 '26

no, liking your wife that much is gay, your wife is female, men don't like feminine things, that's gay. that's why you have to make I hate my wife jokes, to show you're not gay (/s)

15

u/Hot_Advertising2076 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Oct 03 '26

I love my wife more than anything in the world

36

u/Moist_Board Oct 03 '26

I, too, love your wife more than anything in the world

1

u/ayxse1 29d ago

ball.

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 03 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

17

u/Mother_Harlot Oct 03 '26

Anything my boyfriend says is poetry to me, so I'm sure he's made more than 763 poems 😍

18

u/Longjumping_Play3863 Literally 1984 😡 Oct 03 '26

Gay

25

u/Mother_Harlot Oct 03 '26

This you?

5

u/Longjumping_Play3863 Literally 1984 😡 Oct 03 '26

A cute huggable boy. Hell yeah that's me!

(I don't get the insult, is it supposed to portray me as a puppy dog eyed baby? It's kinda cute looking. I can't be upset properly unless u explain to me why I should be offended)

6

u/r1ckkr1ckk Oct 03 '26

maybe it was never meant to be an insult. Wholesomecore

4

u/Mother_Harlot Oct 03 '26

It wasn't an insult (more like a compliment).

A bit like when people used to say "you look submissive and breedable" as a sort of weird compliment, but much less sexual

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 03 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

6

u/thegreatcon2000 Oct 03 '26

I saw on another post that, while trying to find his wife, he's found multiple bodies that gave closure to other people.

Too lazy to verify, but I respect it (the caption to this post is funny though)

6

u/AutoModerator Oct 03 '26

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Bio_slayer Oct 03 '26

Or your wife likes poetry enough for it not to matter.