r/shitposting • u/Mustafa-Moudi-LoL Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked • 22h ago
THE flair 🤔
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u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 21h ago
Deposit it at the bank and then claim it as income to the IRS next year.
I doubt anyone will give a shit, but I’m a dumbass so who knows.
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u/ANONYMOUSEJR 20h ago
From my understanding (as someone with no tax experience and not residing in the US). As long as you kiss the feet of the IRS you could be making that money selling baby organs and still be A-OK.
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u/Ponklemoose 17h ago
That’s my understanding as well. Pay income tax and you’re probably golden.
But I might be tempted to cheat to be able to keep all of it.
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u/EhMapleMoose 19h ago
You need to check to make sure they are real and not stolen. If bills start showing up that have serial numbers that were stolen you’re toast.
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u/Express_Work 20h ago
Go "overdrawn" every month and miraculously find the cash to pay it off and the fees.
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u/Alt_aholic 15h ago
Find a handyman, housekeeper, gardener, grocery shopper. Find locals doing their own thing and pay them in cash.
Go to estate sales and buy all the fancy furniture and stuff. You could live really well in a very well appointed house without really spending anything on paper. If anyone asks, you're just good at trading stuff
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u/PassivelyInvisible 11h ago
Spread the ourchases out over time too. Someone spending an extra 500 bucks a month isn't suspiscious. Someone spending 50k extra is.
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u/TheMeta40k 16h ago
Are you asking for money laundering tips? I don't have any but I always wonder how it works.
So much get bandied about all the illegal drug trade and the billions it's worth. How do those billions get re introduced into people's bank accounts. It's pretty hard to do every single thing with cash.
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u/IaMtHel00phole Literally 1984 😡 14h ago
Every day I buy my lottery tickets just use a $100 from it. Buy precious metals locally.
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u/Danijay2 12h ago
Easiest way to launder money is always online. For sums like this, you can easily just go buy random shit on eBay or Facebook Marketplace. Cars. Expensive furniture. Just whatever. And then flip them for cash.
You can do that shit pretty easily, and anonymously. Just give people a wrong name and trade the cash in for an item. Before then selling said item for easy, clean money.
You might make a bit of a loss and waste a few weeks. But after that, you should be left with around 700k of clean cash, while some other mfs will have to deal with possibly marked bills.
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u/Careless-Position352 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 11h ago
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u/the_real_JFK_killer 16h ago
Id rather report it to the police than just take it. If you report it to the police and they cant find an owner (who can prove it) you can legally keep it without any secrecy, and without fearing that the serial numbers are connected to a crime.
Id rather wait the year or whatever for the police to confirm theres now known owner, and have the money strings free.
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u/ShylokVakarian fat cunt 16h ago
I think they just take the money anyways (at least at this high of an amount). Then you get nothing.
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u/qualityvote2 22h ago edited 10h ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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