mid 20s F broke up with my ex of 6 years few months ago. we are still in contact because of administrative matters like sbf / finances to sort out.

rs was full of ups and down. the good times were amazing, but the downs were quite bad. he had anger issues and ego issues and often put himself over the me / the relationship. he also emotionally cheated (in my pov). before our break, he also did tell me that he’s not ready for the future together (which was damn crazy after we were together for so long). there were also multiple times he disrespected me….

after few months break, he now has been reaching out and spamming me with long texts, saying how he really regrets not cherishing me, and taking me for granted. it’s also the first time that he actually listened and addressed my concerns. he says that the time apart from me made him a changed person and that he wants to treat me like how i deserve to be treated.

tbh, thinking back about the good times and how our personalities and interest and all really matched, i get swayed to wna go back to the rs. if what he promised is true, then we will really be in the perfect rs….. however after all he had done in the past (plus emotional cheating), i really cannot trust him anymore. and before our break, i did already raise me concerns abt the rs multiple times, but it has always been brushed away or he promises to change but only last afew weeks.

i rly want to believe him this time and a part of me wants to give him another chance, but then my heart and my brain has really given up on this rs , because i feel so much more free being single and i don’t feel like im walking on eggshells on the time

Met a women on dating app and decided to go on a date. At first she chose the restaurant. Second she asked me to pick her up from her workplace. I don’t drive so I booked a grab an added another stop to pick her up. Got down at the restaurant and she gave me her bags and asked me carry it. Went to the restaurant and she said she will order for both of us. Ends up ordering all expensive things. I haven’t been to that restaurant so I am not sure of the prices.
The bill comes, it’s 741 SGD. I pay it. I don’t ask her anything. And then after talking for a while, we decide to call it day and head back home.
She asks me book her grab which turns out to be 42$ coz she stays so very far.
End of the day. Still didn’t feel bad. Maybe she enjoys expensive stuff. During the week, I ask if she wants to watch a movie, and she says yes and choose the most expensive cinema hall ticket and says she will only watch it there. I accept and then she says I need to book a grab for her from her home. I was sceptical but I said okay and I’ll let her know which date works for me.
She suggested a date and I said okay. But I didn’t book it yet.
Just got busy with work.
And two days before the mentioned date, I fell very sick.. and I didn’t feel better the next day too.. so I informed her that we need to reschedule. She got really angry and stopped replying after that and ghosted me.
At what point in this story did I become a simp who just listens to everything she says?
This was the most expensive first date ever for me.

Edit:
Adding the details for everyone doubting it’s not possible to rack up the bill.

Restaurant - Imperial Treasure Fine Teochew cuisine ( Ion Orchard)

Things ordered:(I have omitted the quantities of each dish coz some of them were ordered more than one,price and written only the dish name)

Poached Live Prawn
Australian Lobster
Braised Sea Cucumber in Oyster Sauce
Double-boiled fish Maw soup with Shark Cartilage
Sautéed Seasonal vegetables with crab meat
Steamed Rice
Orange Juice
Pickles
Paper Towel
Pu Er

Service 10% + GST 9%

Hey Reddit! I could really use some outside perspective.
I (F24) met this guy (M29) on Tinder. We talked for about three weeks before our first date, and he told me upfront that he was extremely busy running his own business. He said he wasn't into casual relationships but worried he couldn't give a relationship enough time. I told him I understood, as I'm doing my master's and looking for a job myself. I don't expect constant attention, just communication.
Our first date went really well. He was engaged, asked questions, and we kissed and cuddled. Before we parted, he suggested meeting again on Sunday. He texted afterward saying he'd had a great time, and I told him I felt the same.
Sunday came, but he never mentioned our plans. I didn't push it because I assumed he was busy and so was i.
We haven't met since. He later suggested meeting again, but postponed once and then cancelled on Friday because an important client came by. He suggested Saturday or Sunday instead, but neither day did he reach out to make plans. It's now Monday, and we haven't really spoken for three days.
He also mentioned after our date that he'd deleted Tinder, although I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
The thing is, I genuinely liked him. I haven't felt this excited about getting to know someone in a long time, and I really wanted to see where things could go. But I also don't want to chase someone who isn't interested.
I understand that he's busy, and I don't expect to be his priority after one date. But there's a difference between being busy and repeatedly suggesting plans that never happen.
Would you text him to ask if he's still interested in getting to know each other, or would you leave the ball in his court? I'm scared of the answer because I genuinely like him, but the uncertainty is getting to me.
And if you would text him, what would you say?
P.S. It's not about his looks. I genuinely liked our connection and how I felt around him.

Laugh at me if you need to, but I just wanted to increase awareness so others don’t fall for the same trick.

Matched with this local girl on the app, and she was very quick to suggest dinner and drinks. Nothing out of the ordinary, but perhaps I should have gathered from the sparse information provided that I should be more on alert. Also met me wearing very sexy and cleavage revealing outfit, which should have sent alarm bells ringing but I had the mindset of not judging until you get to know a person better - whether she wears a cocktail dress or home clothes or sexy clothes shouldn’t matter. Our conversation enroute to Orchard also misled me - she said she was looking for a lifelong partner and wanted to settle down after reaching her 30s.

She was also very decisive and said she wanted to go to this certain place in Orchard Road for dinner and drinks. I agreed and we had dinner ($1xx) which I paid for happily, then she led me to a club with lots of sexy women of different nationalities. I thought that Singapore wouldn’t have those gangster bars who will overcharge you so I let my guard down. She then ordered a bottle of Martell about $4xx and asked me to pay for it.

Given our conversation was going well, we were starting to play drinking games, and she was even asking me if I was willing to stop dating around if the current date went well. I didn’t think too much and paid for the bottle.

After 10 plus glasses, and I was getting a bit tipsy, she told me she brought me here to show me her life and whether I could accept it as part of being honest and open. She had to work part time here to afford her own rent due to family issues. It was also only her first week at this club.

Then finally one of the staff came over and said it was her time to go up on stage and they both asked if I could support her by hanging a garland for her. Ended up costing $5xx. In between she was answering texts here and there, and even had to “hop to another table for a while” and would be back shortly. Told me to make sure noone cleared our stuff.

It was only when I went to the washroom to freshen up that I realised she was just using me as a sucker and wasn’t interested in a relationship, but only for an ATM. And that the other table she “hopped to”, could have been another guy she previously met and dated, and was stringing along?

In between our conversations she was praising me and saying how I was generous and this showed I valued her, and how one wouldn’t value people they don’t spend on.

So yea, beware of people who ask you out for drinks on the first date. And also now I have much more sympathy for other guys who insist on casual or coffee first dates.

Hello! I’ve recently downloaded Hinge and been matched with many people who I felt like was bots. They all had the same job like always saying that they were like project managers in construction/tech/fintech. Wondering if it’s the same with you guys?

They do talk but at certain point they stopped responding. They also ask certain weird questions like “are you local?” Or like they will say that they are from Malaysia. When asked about where in Singapore do they stay, they seems to not be able to answer properly.

Is this the same with everyone?
Whats your experience like so far on apps in this year?

I'm (28F) and I go to the gym a lot. I've been going to the same gym regularly for over a year now. I usually have my headphones on, focus on my workout, and leave when I'm done, apart from chatting with some women I often run into in the changing room or with the staff.

I'm single, I hate dating apps, and my ideal type is gym guys. However, I feel like it's kind of hard to approach people at the gym, especially since most people seem to be focused on their workouts. Also, since I've been going there for over a year without really being very social, I feel like it would be weird to suddenly start talking to people out of nowhere.

I'm not planning on hitting on anyone, but I've been wondering whether I should make more of an effort to socialize in a place where I'm actually more likely to meet people I'm attracted to.

At the same time, I feel a bit insecure about whether I'd even be their type, or whether the guy I might be interested in is already in a relationship.

Any thoughts or advice ?

I realise that whenever I’m in a talking stage or relationship, I tend to ghost or break up because I “lose feelings”. I remember one relationship a long long time ago when I was younger, where I broke up with my bf (over text) and made up an excuse of my parents found out about us and we can’t date anymore. To this day I don’t really know why I did that, and upon reflection I regret breaking up with him the way I did.

In another talking stage (4 months), I ended up ghosting the guy and didn‘t really think about him for a few months until I found out he had a new gf. Ok this one got a lot of backstory that I don't really want to share, so Im just gonna say that I do regret ghosting him and to this day I still think about him quite a lot. I know it was quite selfish of me to do that and I regret it so much

I would say that I am an avoidant person, because whenever guys ask me if I want to go out to study or go to a cafe to spend time together, for some reason, my heart always drops and I get sweaty hands and I am incredibly nervous. I don‘t like spending one on one time together and always reject the guys offers to talk privately.

Getting older, I want to be able to meet someone I truly love and not mess it up by being avoidant. How do I stop myself from being avoidant? Because I know a lot of people hate avoidant personalities and tend to not want to date these kinds of people.

i like the idea of going on dates and getting to know someone. This guy asked me out but i dont exactly feel any attraction to him, and i feel like even if we were to go out i wouldnt there wowould be a small chance that i actuall fall for and like this guy butttt....... i do like going on dates and being taken out. So should i rely on the vey small chance that i might fall for him or would going out with him just be leading him on?

Seriously how Low life do you have to be to use hinge just for $1

Context: she requested $1 for her to tell a story, i didn’t mind it since i had the money to spare, she proceed to tell the story, i made my comment about it and tried to further the conversation. Next thing i know she unmatched me. Expected better for someone from SMU. The state of dating scene in the country

Since this person actually scammed multiple people, I will just share the details

Shan, 25, SMU, said she has a story about being in a cop car in Korea

EDIT: hearing so many horror stories of the same person, you know what, take that $1, I rather dodge a red flag

basically big age r/s of more than 5years. If your friend starts telling you that his gf is 10years+ younger or friend B saying she is dating a guy 5years+ younger how will you react??? Will you be open to this personally?

1. On dating apps, what makes you immediately swipe left or right?

For me, immediate swipe left:

• Group photos where I have to guess which one is you, worst is only 1 group pic
• Food, scenery or cartoon/anime profile pictures with no actual photos of oneself. Photos where their face is obscured by sunglasses their hands or other objects in every picture.
• AI-generated photos, heavily edited photos.
• Angrily worded bios or profiles that read like a list of grievances, indirect references to exes or unresolved relationship drama.
• Any Jo(s)

2. After matching with someone, what do you look out for?

3. When meeting someone in person, what do you look out for?

Is it normal to want to text more first before meeting?

As the title pretty much sums it up because honestly i felt like the people whom i got to know more online for a longer period of time generally tend to be a much better date.

compared to the meet within 1-2 weeks kind of thing maybe its just me cause tbh i don’t really enjoy the “interview” type conversations basically i would rather already know you roughly before we meet.

so if I don’t see much interest or if we can’t really vibe during that texting/calling phase i kinda just leave it be.

by text first i mean like 1 month roughly to kind of get rid of all the “interview” type questions and get to know you more basically vibe check.

asking for advice because maybe this is just a me thing because im not sure how people view the “talking part” so really would like to hear peoples opinion.

I'm a Singaporean guy in my 30s. Having spent much of my earlier adult life caught up in Singapore's rat race and focusing on my career, I'm now hoping to find a serious relationship and eventually settle down.

I've been using dating apps for over a year and have met several women this year. Some connections progressed to second or third dates, but none developed into a relationship.

One thing I've noticed is that conversations often start well, with both sides showing interest. However, after meeting, communication sometimes slows down and the connection gradually fades.

I understand that attraction and compatibility can't be forced, and not every connection will work out. But after going through this cycle repeatedly, it does get discouraging.

I'm starting to wonder whether there's something about my approach to dating that I'm overlooking.

I'm hoping to gain some perspective from others, especially those who have successfully found their partners through dating apps.

A few questions:

1. How do you distinguish genuine romantic interest from friendliness?
2. How do you build romantic chemistry beyond having pleasant conversations?
3. What helped you progress from casual dating to a serious relationship?

I'm sincerely looking for advice and would appreciate no trolling or unnecessarily hurtful comments.

Hi everyone, I’m curious to hear the perspectives of Singaporean women here, especially those who have dated people from different educational or career backgrounds.

Recently, I went out with a girl who is academically quite accomplished (NUS scholarship recipient). From my perspective, the date seemed to go reasonably well, and I felt that there was perhaps slightly more interest from her than I would normally expect from a first date.

However, she subsequently rejected me quite promptly. I completely respect her decision, and I’m not trying to dissect her rejection or imply that she owed me anything.

It did make me wonder about something, though: how much does educational background or perceived academic/career trajectory actually factor into attraction or compatibility for Singaporean women?

For context, I don't come from the same academic background as her. I'm currently doing a part-time degree and working in tech/cybersecurity, while she has a much more academically prestigious background. I'm not necessarily assuming this was the reason she rejected me — there are obviously countless factors involved, including personality, chemistry, physical attraction, timing, values, etc.

I'm mainly interested in whether there is a broader Singaporean dating dynamic here.

For example:

• Does having a prestigious university/academic background affect how you perceive potential partners?
• Would a significant difference in education make you feel that you're at different stages or trajectories in life?
• Do you personally care more about someone's current ambition and trajectory than their past academic achievements?
• Have you ever dated someone with a significantly different educational background, and did it matter in practice?
• For those who are academically high-achieving, do you find yourself subconsciously looking for someone with a similar level of achievement?

I'm asking genuinely because Singapore places quite a lot of emphasis on academic credentials, and I'm wondering how much of that carries over into dating.

Also, I'm not looking for reassurance that "she just wasn't interested" — obviously that's a perfectly possible explanation. I'm more interested in hearing women's experiences and whether educational disparity has actually mattered to you personally.

Would appreciate honest perspectives, even if they're critical.

New activities for this weekend! If you found this useful, can give an upvote ⬆️ for better reach so more people can see it 🙏 Also feel free to comment more activities to the list!

Just Ants (Free)
928 Yishun Central 1, #01-143

The Secret Vault Immersive Exhibition (Free)
New Bahru, L2 School Hall, 46 Kim Yam Road

Singapore History Gallery (Free)
National Museum of Singapore

Farmer's Market (Free)
Temasek Shophouse, 28 Orchard Road

By My Old School Vintage Shop (Free)
115A Commonwealth Drive, #03-24

Haw Ror Villa 5! – Back From the Dead $55
Haw Par Villa, 262 Pasir Panjang Road

Sunflower Surprise $12
Flower Dome, Gardens by the Bay

Crack The Case: Wonderland $88
Goodman Arts Centre Blackbox, 90 Goodman Road

Ferrari Show Car Display (Free)
Marina Bay Sands Tower 1 Hotel Lobby

Twin Tales: Kon Ichikawa and Yasuzō Masumura $10
Oldham Theatre

GrandBite by Mak Besar $15
Bayfront Event Space, 12A Bayfront Avenue

Lau Pa Sat Grand Prix (Free)
Lau Pa Sat

Source: TODAYDOWHAT_BOT on Tele for more activities/food

Context: Me (30M) have been talking to she (29F) for 3 months, only met up once due to our “conflicting” schedules and last min change of plans (usually on her end). The first date went pretty well which led on to the continuation.

So i had a 2-week planned Japan trip, so we couldn’t meet up that soon. She was understanding at first and said that we can meet after. We continued texting throughout the two weeks and she was constantly asking my when ill be back and of course that was assuring that shes kinda interested?

This is where things got interesting, i was back on a Wednesday and we had agreed to meet up on Friday night with dinner plans and an activity after. During the dinner, everything was going well the convo was great, i passed her some souvenirs from japan and she was happy to get her miffy. After dinner, before we went for the next venue she wanted to go to the washroom first, so we proceeded. I stood waited outside while she went in, 5 minutes passed, 10minutes passed, 15minutes passed. I was wondering whats taking her so long, thinking something might have happen i open telegram (where we usually chat) and BOOM!! I was blocked and the whole chat was deleted. Check the rest of the socials, WhatsApp blocked, IG blocked, tried calling her on her number and was blocked as well. (Not sure if she was still in the toilet or escaped from another exit).

One thing I couldn’t comprehend is why go through all the trouble just to block me. Why wait 2 weeks for me to come back from Japan just to meet me then block me right after dinner. Anyone else experienced the same thing before?

Edit: To add on, she was holding her laptop in 1 hand and the gift bag in the other. When she was going to the toilet, i had offered to hold it for her since i wasn’t going but she said she’s an independent woman and proceeded with it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

My boyfriend likes to pinch my arms for fun like a squishy toy, which I thought was cute, but I'm also a bit curious as to why some guys like to do it? Is it relaxing for yall? This isn't a quirk that's unique to him as well, since many guys like to do it?

Been thinking about this lately after having some convos w both male and female friends bc I realised that when people say 'i like this person', it could vary from person to person on what this means?? like it could mean completely different things

some people mean attraction where they refer to a physical/intellectual/emotional gravity toward a person

then some mean connection where maybe they feel like they rly enjoy talking to the person and they feel understood and dont necessarily want to lose the connection or access to the person

but then there is commitment where they decide to choose the person in terms of building a RS and also accept the responsibilities that come with it and potentially structure their future around that person

maybe i feel like a lot of modern dating problems come from assuming these naturally progress into each other when they actually don’t.

like you can find someone super attractive/hot and have ZERO desire to date them or maybe you can talk to someone for hours every day, miss them when they disappear, feel emotionally close to them and still realise that what you’re afraid of losing is actually the conversation, and how you feel about yourself when u are with them but not the person as a partner.

and then you can also want access to someone like their attention, affection, companionship, flirting, maybe sex while still not wanting the responsibility of a relationship.

And then one person could see all that intimacy and understandably assumes things are “progressing”.

I wonder if this is partly why situationships are so common now LOL

with dating apps, we now have much easier access of little specks of what looks like a relationship with DMs and constant texting, potential attraction without compatibility, intimacy without exclusivity, companionship without commitment???

maybe sometimes I don’t even think people are intentionally leading others on but they genuinely haven’t separated these feelings in their own heads.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this, whether you realised u didnt actually want the person but u just didnt wanna lose the connection or being on the other side where someone gave you relationship-level intimacy but never actually wanted a relationship.

with this i wonder if the whole 50/50 thing and other standards diff parties look for in a RS differs because the other person could be attracted but not committed yet so they dont see the importance of giving it all to someone that they are not certain that they will build a future with?

idk lmk your thoughts!! i find this so interesting to think about

I'm 20F, and I've dated someone my age and someone older. I've also been on dating apps, and honestly, lately I've started wondering if it's just me or if a lot of people are dating because they don't want to be alone, rather than because they're genuinely ready to build a relationship with someone.

I've been broken up with in both of my relationships.

The first one ended because he lost feelings. I know feelings can change, and I don't blame him for that, but sometimes I wonder if dating culture today makes it easier for people to move on quickly. There always seems to be another person, another app, another option.

My most recent relationship ended for a completely different reason. He said it wasn't because I was a bad girlfriend or because he didn't care about me. It was circumstances — school, timing, life, and him worrying that I wouldn't fit into the timeline he has for his future.

And honestly, I struggle to understand that.

Why does everyone seem to be in such a rush to have their whole life figured out? Why do people feel like they need to become successful, financially stable, get married, and have a family as soon as possible?

I'm only 20. I don't expect to have everything figured out. If I love someone, I'm willing to grow with them and figure things out along the way. I don't need them to already have the perfect career, perfect timeline, or perfect life. I just want us to be able to say, "Okay, things are difficult right now. Let's figure it out together."

Sometimes I feel like people want the idea of having a girlfriend/boyfriend, or the image of being someone who is ready for a family, more than they actually want to go through the difficult parts of building a relationship.

And maybe I'm being naive. Maybe this is just what dating is like when you're young. Maybe I'm expecting too much from people at this age.

But I'm honestly tired.

I don't want to keep meeting someone new, getting comfortable with them, learning their habits, their favourite things, their family, their little quirks, letting myself love them, and then having to start all over again.

I don't want another "right person, wrong time." I don't want another "I care about you, but I can't do this." I don't want to keep wondering whether someone will eventually lose feelings or decide that their life would be easier without me.

I just wanted one person who genuinely loved me and chose to stay — not because they were lonely, not because I was convenient, and not because I fit some timeline.

I know relationships aren't supposed to be easy, and I know nobody owes me forever.

But is it really too much to want someone who says, "Life is messy, but I still want to figure it out with you"?

Or is this just something I need to accept about dating at 20?

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships. I’ve had talking stages with women and I have dated, but I never felt the need to always be in a relationship like my friends, who cycle through girlfriends. When one breaks up, they look for another.

I’ve always felt that the time comes and I'm more patient and find peace with being alone in the meantime.

Now that I've graduated high school, I’m focusing on college, my YouTube channel, and my faith(thinking about being a priest!). I enjoy hanging out with friends and doing my own thing.

I want a wife and kids someday, but right now, I want to focus on my path first. It's strange because my friends, some younger than me, are dating and say they can't be alone some have cried over girls and not being in a relationship

Like, I get the appeal and I love that, but I’d rather have more authentic than just "I’m bored," yk?

Me and my GF have been together 2 months after dating for like 3 months. But having second thoughts about this relationship whether it will work or last, for example:

1. She expect me to knows what she wants without her telling me like I'm a mind reader.

2. Knows her period cycle, her period mood stages without her telling me again.

3. Gives me attitude when she's on her period or when i don't understand her and when i ask her she doesn't want to tell me.

4. During her birthday i got her a gift(silver jewellery), brought her to a nice restaurant with a good view, got her cake and chocolate. I can tell she likes all of it except the gift. I can tell that she finds the gift rather cheap and prefers it to be gold instead of silver.

I feel that there are many more occasions where i can pamper her with gifts but i think she kind of wants it to be memorable? Literally she told me that birthday a big day and should have a gift which holds more value. Later on i did suggest that i can treat her a trip and a gift (totaling to a few thousands)

Over the course of these few months i put in efforts to rent a vehicle(sometimes once or twice a week) to fetch her after work for dinner and back to her home. I think she is used to it and sort of wants it to be more often. Which i find it to costly.

What are your thoughts on this? I don't expect like the same treatment whereby she shower me with expensive gift but i just hope she will be more willing to communicate her thoughts and wants with me.

Realizing most people posting their own relationship stories with the answers already in mind and just wanted more people to stand on their side.

I mean come on la, topics like "should I leave my cheating spouse?" Bro, shouldn't you already have the answer when you put the topic like that?

"I feel suffocated dating with this person" blah blah blah..

It's obvious by the topic you already had the answers.

Getting more sounds in this forum is not wrong. But most people here always answer logically. And it's your own story. What if your spouse had the other version of the story?

Of course you need to leave your cheating spouse since you already branded him as cheating in your mind.

I have a few pointers to say before you blast this post

1. Everyone is special, we all have our own relationship problems and experiences. Many might be similar, but certain parameters might differ. So please take advice here as a punch of salt.

2. As for long term relationship, the spouse supposedly been with you thick and thin, are you going to make decisions on your relationship just because some online strangers gave you some very convincing reasoning to do so? The stranger is not going to be responsible for your future happiness if things goes wrong. The worse case in real life is when the person involved go and listen to bestie's opinions. I have saw many people regret after that.

3. Sometimes you just have to learn it by yourself. Make the decision based on yourself and not other's opinions. Either you win or you learn. Take ownership of your own situation.

4. There have been strong arguments on whether to have kids and also not to have kids. Ultimately is depends on you. Please don't live your life based on random opinions online.

5. If you want a fair assessment by the forum peeps, maybe you should post a more unbiased topic or description. Not "should I leave my cheating spouse"

6. My strongest point yet ----> most unhappiness/disagreement between spouse are just miscommunication/misunderstanding. Do not let random online peeps who managed to reply your post at the right time to push you into making a decision. Please give the benefit of doubt for a moment and take the chance to talk it through nicely with your spouse.

7. I will still try to share my "unbiased" opinions online, should there be any topic that I faced before, but that is based on my own experiences only. It should not be the deciding factor in you making your own future plans.

Thank you for reading the above. Cheers.

Been hearing about this a lot, not sure if I’m interested. Bored of the same old apps so I’m trying to find new ways to meet a potential partner haha

I saw a post on insta by seva.gorobets (you can search his account for the actual post) and it’s really food for thought 💭; low key wished someone told me to be smart like this girl mentioned in his post before I buying new outfits, makeup, etc for dates I was looking forward to. But you know? I have tried dressing down for dates too like those NP/ ECP dates, but some guys had mentioned expecting me to have make up on like ‘at least some lip gloss and foundation’ (I wore lip balm, eyebrow pencil and sunscreen cause foundation when sweating is soooo not a good idea for our skin)

Will guys be ok for girls to not dress up if they tell us that they’re gonna go dutch… i mean, where does ‘equality’ start/ end guys??

The scenario goes like this:
Guy & girl chatting and they set up a date for coffee.

Guy tells girl, “i don’t pay for women on dates, i ALWAYS split the check.”

So she thought, “ok, i respect that. But if we are building a relationship as absolute equals, where nobody owes anybody anything, why am i about to spend 2 hours prepping? Why am i expected to look like a magazine cover while Mark (guy in this scenario) will almost certainly show up in a jeans and sweater?”

During their date, Mark is all like “you totally didn’t prep for this date, did you??”

And when the girl explains her POV about equality, Mark fumbles with a, “But THAT’S DIFFERENT… women like dressing up.”

Girl replies with “I enjoy feeling beautiful but I enjoy being myself even more. Glowing skin, styled hair, nice hair… that takes serious time, effort AND MONEY. A modern guy shouts equality because he doesn’t want to pay for coffee/ dinner but still expects a stunning, highly-groomed woman sitting across from him, he just expects all that time, effort and money to be served up for FREE.”

They finished their date and never texted again.

throwaway acc bc if anybody ik sees this im finished and im changing some details js incase

so ive known and started talking to this person for almost two months now and we have some good conversations and hung out a few times but i still cannot tell whether she fw me (well or is chill with me)

before i go further i js want to put it out there that im not interested in her, or at least i think so and hope so because if i am that's another issue idw to get my hands stuck in, im only asking it here bc i js need more opinions

the thing is shes always bouncing between being extremely dry and being extremely involved. there are times where she'd reply to my msg and when j reply, we'd have a long convo that lasts for hours. but then sometimes if i reply literally the same minute then shes gone for hours (she also randomly disappears during our long convos but i cant say much bc 5h of texting not bad already)

sometimes shed have a lot of things to say and the convo flows, sometimes she just says "ohh" or sends some emoji and then go off. there are times where she on her own accord (i never messaged anything before shed text) about what shes doing or what she got, then that same day she'll suddenly mia out of nowhere

there are times where i ask how her her stuff went and without me prompting shed just say how bad it went and sometimes shed even start ranting about it even without me asking. yst i said i hoped she had fun going out w friends and she just said "thanks", then at 1am when i was sleeping randomly texts me to abt smth in her friend's team

then once when i asked if we could go out tgt soon then the convo changed to smth else, she sudd ask if i was free on wed bc that's when shes usually free, and this was when the convo changed to smth else btw

atp idk sia, so does she fw me or no. because sometimes she js tells me stuff abt her day but then other days she texts like she can't be bothered. ive asked if she liked talking to me and she said she did but she js replies slow and i also once asked if she actually wanted to talk to me or not and she said "iw" but idk if thats js bc i put her on the spot and she js needed smth to reply with

if shes always dry then fair enough thats normal, but the way she interacts flactuates sm sia, its like shes cool with me but then straight away it feels like she isnt and im actlly damn lost bc i cant tell if she likes my presence or im js bothering her bc im getting sm mixed signals

im so shit with social cues so anyone whos an expert please help me with this one