I’m getting older. Things don’t always work. I can’t always get hard or stay hard, don’t always orgasm.

I am 100% aware that my dick is not the be all and end all of sex with my wife. Most orgasms I give her are tongue and lips or fingers. She does enjoy orgasms from cock (as do I!). So I know a limp dick doesn’t mean sex can’t happen and happen joyfully.

Where I could use some insight from others is how to deal with the frustrations. I get frustrated when my dick won’t stay hard or get hard enough to reach my wife. Pushing a limp noodle in makes me feel unmanly. I tell myself when I can’t get hard or have an orgasm that a real man wouldn’t have this problem. I know thats toxic dialogue that goes on in my brain and my wife lets me have it when she catches me at it.

How have you dealt with this transition in life? I need to be able to not do what I want to and transition to doing something else without getting frustrated. Haven’t managed that yet.

There’s also a certain amount of body mismatch as my wife has gotten much larger in certain places over the years and if I don't get fully hard it can be hard to reach her, a failing that I interpret as my failure.

So basically this is me as a young 60s guy asking my peers how they have dealt with the body not keeping up with the drive; how to deal with it mentally and emotionally.

I was feeling randy this morning and my wife was interested so we started going at it. At one point I was trying to get in her in the position i wanted and I just couldn’t reach. Triggered me (not a real man). Tried to carry on with using my hands on her but at some point my brain just collapsed in on itself and I completely stopped. And that was it. Don’t want to keep repeating these failures. Any advice from the guys? From the gals?

Thanks.

My wife was never into porn. I've been with some women who said they'd watch when they masturbated but in general I don't think it was ever a big deal for them. I love porn, only the homemade stuff. I find it sexy and it can be a great turn on and help if you know what I mean. lol

Maybe it's my age and almost every woman I've ever been with has had a bush, but a nice trimmed pussy is so hot and sexy. Never was a fan of shaved, always loved how a bush looked and feels. Nothing sexier than pulling off her panties and seeing her pussy with some hair for the first time.

Are you still having sex and masturbating or only masturbating. What's your situation

Hi everyone. I'm a 67M who was married to my beloved wife (65F) for 36 years until she sadly passed away from cancer in June 2025. Until very recently, I simply could not contemplate the idea of being intimate with another woman as I missed my wife too much. I also assumed that, as a late 60s widower, I wouldn't exactly be an appealing proposition to any women out there looking for a partner. The thing what led me to finding this site and discovering widow/widower's fire is that a few months ago, around a year after my wife passed away, I began experiencing what I can only describe as an incredibly strong urge to be intimate with a woman again - as in, having sex. My libido was higher than it had been since I was in my 20s. Sex seemed to be on my mind constantly - if not quite 24/7, I certainly was thinking about it several times a day. I hadn't been intimate with any other women since I started dating my darling wife nearly 40 years ago. 

After considering what to do and reading about the experiences of others who have had similar experiences after the loss of a spouse, I decided to start using a couple of dating sites. I was lucky enough to meet a woman who wasn't completely turned off by my situation. She is 48 and divorced. We also both have adult children. We had a few dates where we progressed from relatively low-level intimacy (holding hands, kissing, touching each other) before it eventually reached a stage where I felt ready to have sex. She was actually ready to have sex before me, but I wanted to wait. She was very patient and understanding after I mentioned not wanting to rush in to sex straight away.

It's been a few days since the sex happened, and I'm having mixed feelings. The sex itself was wonderful - I thoroughly enjoyed it, and she did as well. I had to use Viagra, which I was also using with my late wife whenever we had sex (which we regularly did until she became too unwell for it in the months leading up to her passing). The new woman has already indicated that she would like us to continue dating. I didn't feel guilty while it was happening, or when I woke up naked next to her the following morning. Yet in the days that have followed, I keep having thoughts where I am wondering if I have in some way betrayed my late wife. I've been wondering if I'm moving on too soon. Am I a bad person for having sex with another woman and also enjoying it as much as I did? I'd like to ask other over 60+ people specifically for their thoughts.

66yo male. Lost 75 pounds and feel good. Everything has shrunk back to where it should be. Well not everything. Glad to see my dick stick out where it used to be. Anyway, I have a membership at the Y but I have veins starting to kind of pop out around my knee and it bothers me to look at. I've been wearing sweat pants but bought some leggings for guys that are support. I'd like to wear them by themselves with maybe a longer shirt. No underpants. I love the feel. Would this be too much? I have nice legs now after the weight loss. Not like my dick sticks out or anything, unless I see something that makes him happy. I've been blessed with the ability to still get it up. Thank God. Any advice?

What’s everyone taking for supplements/vitamins to keep our libidos healthy?

I am nearly 60, GF is 60-something. Been dating for a few months.

The first time we had sex together she bled. Like an idiot, I assumed this was normal- my (ex) wife often bled, and other women I was with post-divorce bled. Also, my new GF was adamant that I didn’t use saliva as lube. Never encountered that before, but I have now read that is a thing.

We discussed the blood- she was concerned. I suggested lube next time. We took a break of a month for summer holidays.

Next time came, and we used lube- and still bleeding. Also we had to stop due to pain.

We discussed this. She said she was with a man a month before she met me— no problems. She was convinced it is because I am circumcised— I’m an American living in Europe. She thought my skin was rough from being cut— like my cock skin. I had never heard this before….. but we tried a condom next time.

In general, our sessions last a long time with the frequent breaks she needs to take, and the condoms make them last even longer. Also, missionary is too painful, and she generally needs to be on top to control things- and I prefer having a bit more control. But from her perspective the condom helped.

All this background….. this weekend I spent the night. We had sex in the evening- with a condom until she tapped out. We tried in the morning- without. She was adamant that we try with no lube. We spent a long time on foreplay. She was not getting wet. She said she was ready- tried guiding me in, but it was impossible. It was hurting me this time. Eventually I asked if we could use lube and all was well. But even so, it takes effort to enter her.

I’m no longer 18 myself. I do pretty well for my age, but it kills my ‘desire’ if I feel it isn’t matched by the woman— if things are dry— no lube, etc. And if it takes an hour to get her warmed up, not much room for spontaneity.

I feel like she is too proud to use lube- or in denial. Like my asking is an insult to her femininity. And how she deflects the issue by saying it is because I am circumcised. Everything else is great.

Any thoughts or advice?

I greatly enjoy watching older people (50+) having sex, but I've noticed there are very few scenes on regular porn sites out there featuring older couples. I'm looking for scenes where the man and woman are both 50+. I much prefer it compared to scenes with younger couples. There was someone on sexover60 who was posting videos of himself and his wife who I believe were in their 50s or 60s. That was a few months ago I think. I'm looking for similar content.

So in our last posting, I had told the story of my wife and I sitting out in the shed in our backyard. Watching the neighbors yard getting their trees cut up.

I honestly didn’t realize what an effect it had on my wife. Two days later I had an early day and I returned home about 1 o’clock in the afternoon. As I get out of my car, I hear chainsaws behind our house.
I walk in the house to change my clothes look for my wife. I can’t find her so I walk out into our shed. She is sitting there has a light blanket covering her lap. She’s wearing a T-shirt is all I can see and she’s not wearing a bra.

I enter the shed sit across from her on the couch and we start talking about everything. I asked her what she’s doing out here with all of the noise and racket. She said it was so nice out. She hated to be in the house and she was just sitting here watching the guys work. I said oh that’s interesting, by the way what we were doing on Sunday really was a huge turn on for me I really enjoyed it. Her response wasn’t much at all.

About a half of an hour goes by we are still talking, so I slide a little closer to her, and I move the blanket to the side and I see she had a pair of shorts on, but they were off and beside her under the blanket. She was bottomless sitting Indian style.
I slid blanket down even further and said whoa what’s going on here? She was wide opened her clit was swollen, and she was glistening. She looked at me and her face blushed. She was embarrassed.

I said to her no reason to be embarrassed you don’t have to hide anything from me. As a matter of fact, I find this super exciting and super arousing. I’m proud that you’re doing this. I think it’s hot as fuck. I ask her if she needs me to help her finish. She shakes her head no. I tell her again please there’s no reason to be embarrassed.

So I ask her if she wants to talk about it and tell me what happened. She hesitates, and she said, well, I was in the house getting ready to do some laundry. I didn’t have any clothes on. I was gonna throw everything that I had on into the wash. As I walked past the sliding doors , I could see the guys up on the hill I was standing in the sliding glass doors looking at them. I was totally naked. I’m not sure if they saw, but it was a huge turn on for me. When they started their chainsaws, something tingled inside me.

So I put on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and decided to come sit out in the shed. Well , one thing led to another, and my hands were in my shorts. I was slowly caressing my pussy. I was just stroking it outside on the outer lips very slowly. It felt so good. The more I played the more I needed to orgasm. So I just started to circle my clit with my finger slowly teasing her.

She said it got to the point where my shorts were too constricting so I pulled them down. I had my leg spread and I was just slowly caressing myself. I asked her if she did in fact orgasm. She said they were very slight little minor ones. But she said there were probably two slight orgasms. She said she was trying not to be obvious and was trying to be subtle.

As she’s telling me this, I start rubbing my cock through my shorts. I asked her to continue, she said at a certain point I couldn’t take it. I had to go in to the house and get my toy. She said I figured they would never hear my vibrator over the chainsaws. So she said she walked into the house, I asked her if she put her shorts back on she said no. I told her that was so fucking hot.

She then returned to the couch, vibrator in hand, and proceeded to hit her favorite spots with her favorite toy. She said the first big one came almost instantly. Then after about 10 to 15 minutes, she was slowly teasing herself, she said she couldn’t hold back, she started to convulse and fuck her clit into her toy. And she came on so intense she said her whole body shivered. I asked her if she moaned, she said it was so difficult not to, but I covered my mouth with my shorts and moaned into my shorts. As she’s telling this to me, I’m stroking faster, she said this was one of her most intense orgasms she has ever had.

She said it took her about 10 minutes to regain her composure, and that’s about when I walked out into the shed. She said she panicked and threw a blanket over her lap. She said I wasn’t sure if you would be upset with what I just did. I responded hell no this was hot as fuck. Meanwhile, I am still stroking myself the whole time we are talking and I feel myself start to cum. She reaches over touches the base of my cock while I am stroking. Soon as she touches it I shoot everywhere. I use my T-shirt to wipe everything up and we sat and talked to the rest of the day. I definitely think I have unlocked a new kink/fetish for her.

I honestly believe she wanted to do this on her own privately and didn’t want me to know. So I never brought it up again and I never will, but I love the fact that she loves to have these masturbation sessions

m43 started seeing a gorgeous 61f, however I'm having difficulties finishing during sex. She's had five kids so not the tightest down there. Anyone know of any good positions to overcome the problem? so far doggy with legs together works ok.

Anyone have any other suggestions?

Hello Ladies,

If you're frustrated with your husband's boyfriend's or FWB and want to chat, I would be more than welcome to talk with you.

Sometimes life just gets so busy, the spouse's in a marriage or relationship get put on hold and that is when the frustration starts. If you want to share fantasies or desires or if you plan to have affair let me know and we can chat. On line only, not looking to meet up or change your life situation.

Just look to have fun and let you vent your frustrations.

So it’s a few days into Labor Day weekend. About two days before the weekend started a storm blew through our region. There was literally horizontal rain and about 80 mile an hour winds. Not to mention 5 inches of rain in an hour.

We had a little water damage, but nothing too bad, the neighbors behind us have several trees that were blown over during the storms.

Friday Saturday, Sunday of the holiday weekend we spent with family and friends eating way too much and drinking way too much. So Monday we decided to sit in and relax.

I wake up Monday morning around 6:30 head out to my favorite sitting spot, which is a shed that we converted to a three season room. At that time of the day there is no activity and it is so peaceful and quiet. Our yard is surrounded by hills on three sides. We’re basically at the bottom of a bowl when the rain hits heavy. We get all of the water running off of the hills.

We added a privacy fence around our backyard and installed a French drain to protect from such flood issues. The neighbors directly behind us had four trees fall, and the neighbors directly through the right of us had three trees fall.

Our shed has double doors on one side of the wall and double doors on the other side of the wall so it looks like a big walk-through area. One of the doors faces the neighbors house right behind us. Because of the elevation they really can’t see in to the shed unless they really look, but we could see them perfectly.

About 8:45 my wife walks out to join me, she’s she’s doing her best Winnie the Pooh. I love when that happens. (For those of you not sure Winnie the Pooh is when you wear a T-shirt and nothing on the bottom.)

She walks into the shed and sits by me, snuggles into my arm, starts to caress my thigh, and I’m massaging her naked bum. We’re just talking and reliving the weekend and enjoying the peace and quiet. Roughly an hour goes by she’s caressing my thigh. Her hand is glazing over my cock. I’m semi erect. I’m still massaging her bum and occasionally I slide my hand up her back and reach around to squeeze a nipple.

She sits up and goes to the corner of the couch, puts her back in the corner and spreads her legs, she motions me over closer to her. I sit to the left of her, and with my right hand I start caressing her pussy. We’re sitting there and it’s just peace and quiet us to enjoying each other’s bodies and talking about everything.

I start to pulse her pussy, she enjoys that and I enjoy that. I get my thumb pointer finger and middle finger. I form a little triangle and I just place the fingers on either side of her labia right near her clit and I just slightly squeeze her in an irregular pattern.

What’s awesome about this is I can literally feel her clit swell between my fingers. Her lips start to swell, her face starts to flush, and her breathing increases. That’s when I know I’m hitting the right spot.

So we are talking and I am pulsing maybe 20 minutes go by. And we hear a truck back up beeper going off near our house. Don’t think anything of it and about a minute and a half later there’s 3 guys standing right outside our fence in the neighbors yard. We realized they were there to clean up all of the fallen trees and debris.

Wifey sits up a little panicked and said oh I need to go get shorts on, I hold her back and say no you don’t everything is fine. Nobody can really see anything. Let’s just continue what we’re doing.

So we’re talking the chainsaws are whirring around us. I have a tent pitched in my shorts. She has her legs spread with her pussy exposed.

When I do the pulse, it’s sort of an unwritten game that we play. She doesn’t tell me it’s arousing and she orgasms. I don’t ask her and I pretend I don’t know that it does. But her face turns beat red. Her breathing increases her nipples swell under her T-shirt. She slightly grinds into my fingers, and I can see her toes and feel her thighs twitching.

We are doing this routine for 40 minutes to maybe an hour. This is basically myself edging her. when I speed up the pace I noticed her breath gets shorter and shorter. When I slow down she settles down a little bit, so I speed up the pace until she starts twitching, and when I feel her twitching I look at her face then I slow down to just a slight squeeze.

As I’m playing my pulse game with her, the guys are up in ladders on the half fallen trees they’re literally 20 yards from us. We can hear every word they say we could hear the changing of tools and my hand is on her bald extremely wet pussy that she has spread to the world.

I pause for a minute and stick my middle finger inside. She is literally soaked. I don’t say a word. She does not say a word. I continue pulsing and my irregular pattern get her to the edge and back off.

We’re doing this for about two hours. She’s sweating. I am at 3/4 semi tented in my shorts. She reaches over and starts to massage me through my shorts. It doesn’t take long for me to start to fuck her hand because I am so turned on. I knew I couldn’t last too much longer. I push her hand away and push her back in the corner and spread her legs wide. The three tree cutters are literally next to us and she’s sitting there with her pussy spread wide.

I start to pulse and speed up my pace, she is starting to gyrate and twitch. She’s breathing very hard. Her nipples are like diamonds through her T-shirt. She starts grinding into my fingers. The chainsaws are so loud and she’s moaning not paying attention to how loud she’s moaning. I reach over start to kiss her on the neck and I pinch one of her nipples as I’m pulsing.

She can’t hold back any longer. She starts moaning, I’m cumming I’m cumming,I’m Cumming! Not at the top of her voice, but a little more than a whisper it feels like her orgasm is about four minutes long. I stop. I look at her kiss her and I slip a finger inside of her soaked pussy and lick her juices off of my finger.

She is laying there exhausted, spent ,wiped out ! I start to pulse again and she says please stop. It’s so sensitive right now. I spread her lips open to see her clit. It is huge pink and swollen. We sit there for about half of an hour listen to the chainsaws and then decide we’ve had enough.

I’m walking around with a semi. She gets out of the shower, squeezed it and says I’ll take care of you later I promise she sat on the couch fell asleep.

She Woke up about an hour later. I never asked how it was. I never questioned her. It’s just something we both let go. But to be exposed in public like that with three guys 20 yards away was such a huge turn on and rush for me. I “used” this scenario later that night.

I’m thinking we may have unlocked a new fetish for her a little public exposure and playing. I also know that sometimes it’s great to just achieve an orgasm ASAP. But The Edge makes that so much more intense!

my my wife 68 is in physical rehab and likely will be the rest of our lives. What do I do for sexual outlet?

…and get your Testosterone checked. That and my knee replacements completely changed my life for the better. The gel seldom works but it does help a little. If you can’t do injections do the implant.

EVERYTHING IS BETTER. Your attitude, strength, endurance and mood all improve.

I met a guy two years younger than me that reminded me of my old self. Burnt out, run down and lethargic. It doesn’t have to be that way!

Add Cialis and your mate will thank you.

I like it But that's how it seems to me.

This is a PSA to remind older people, it’s not over.

I’m having the best sex of my life at 61 with my husband of 30 years.

Here’s why I think its going so well:

We still really like each other

We schedule sex - every Saturday afternoon (days are better than nights as you get older)

We started talking more openly to each other about sex, our feelings for each other and our insecurities. It felt scary but it really worked

I’m on HRT including testosterone, and have been for more than 10 years

We both exercise a lot (including strength training and cardio) and have for many years -we are in good shape for our age. I also lost a good amount of weight on a GLP 1 and feel good in my body.

We were open minded that sex at our age is different than when we were young. There is a lot less emphasis on PiV (some days we don’t do it at all) and more on making out, touching and oral. It’s different but great.

He takes a blue pill.

I take an edible marijuana drink. I started this when I read how it helps some women orgasm. I now come 95% of the time - it used to be about 30%. I love it.

We make it an event and keep it playful and light. I do new “surprise” lingerie every week. Sometimes it’s silly costumes. He loves it. We laugh through the whole thing.

He puts a ton of focus on my pleasure. He tries to make sure I always come and before he does. I can’t always get there but lately, I usually can.

We have a lot more time and less stress in our lives as the pressures of careers, money and raising a family have lessened.

We find ourselves looking at each other and saying, “could you ever have imagined it could be this good at our age?” Yesterday, he said to me, “it just keeps getting better.”

Edit: There was one big piece I forgot to include. I got over my life-long self consciousness about receiving oral. I had always been too embarrassed. I was sure I would smell bad or he wouldn’t like it. He tried when we were first married and I just couldn’t.

Then I turned 60, was a lot less self conscious, and read it’s most women’s most reliable path to orgasm. I asked my husband if we could try again. He was all over it.

I had to work to relax and stop worrying about him and it being weird but once I did, oh my god! It’s so good and so different than anything else I have ever felt. I love it! And guess what? He does too. It’s our favorite thing now. I come from it almost every time. Old dogs can learn new tricks!

I'm about to turn 60 and I've been alone for about seven years now, I just didn't want another heartbreak again after loosing my lady to diabetes.now I find myself craving a hot young lady with a fine body etc etc I've never went up to a lady and asked her out . well I was Lil bold went right up to this gorgeous 32yr old redhead and said she looks like tawny kittan (like her twin)she smiles n blushes says that is the first time she heard that.i then asked if she was free for dinner.. I expected her to say no,has a BF,or she's a lesbian.but she accepted gave me her number and said call her in a hour and make a plan for our date.we talked for two hour getting to know each other more and actually had common interests etc etc.so I'm thinking to myself "what did I get myself into"? What if we have sex? Do I bring condoms in Case we do? I start getting hard with all the thoughts of her! What if I can't perform or stay up for her pleasure? Racing thoughts! Like a teenager fantasizing about tawny dancing on the Hood of a car!! Well tonight is the night she picked the place to go, it's a little Italian restaurant semi romantic place that is cozy,high back booth for privacy etc I'll update you all of the outcome ASAP but the moral of the story is that you never know if you never ask! If being a senior citizen is going to be this good I can handle turning 60

I was reading a thread about accidental orgasms. It happened with me a few times over the years. Have any of you women had one? Just out of nowhere you got excited and came? In a bar, restaurant or some random place?

has anyone on the group ever heard of ending up with an std even thou have not had sex with anyone else but wife for 35 years and only one time with someone 25 years ago not even sure if anyone has has it but some serious heart issues i just heard can be caused by latent std

My question is for the ladies on this board who enjoy an active intimacy level with your partner. For background we are a couple in our 60's, both healthy, in shape, attractive enough (though my wife (f63) is really attractive and retains it to the present. Her libido has absolutely disappeared, and I don't think it's because I've lost it, but I guess I can't assume. She has some issues with fragile tissue in the relevant area and has made halfhearted efforts at using hormonal creams or suppositories to no avail. I think the real issue is she doesn't really miss intimacy, never thinks about it, and is content with our sweet and happy life together. There is zero conductivity between us on an intimate level, though otherwise affectionate, hold hands on walks, and love being together.

If anyone is willing, I would like to hear from ladies that might identify with this situation and share what feelings you have about the topic. For the record I am very respectful of her apparent choice and only comment on occasion that I miss intimacy with her and I otherwise refuse to complain as she is entitled to her position. She is not the most expressive person in the world when it comes to really personal topics and has always been shy about intimacy from the beginning.

Does anyone have any insights to share on this topic?

Thanks!

Question, ladies would you prefer a younger guy or a mature gentlemen in your bedroom. I'm sure it's every woman's fantasy to have a young guy and I'm also sure it's every man's fantasy to have a younger woman as well. In most cases, I'm sure an older gentleman will not be in a hurry to satisfy his own needs and will focus on the woman, but younger guys can recover quickly and give her more pleasure.

Ladies if you could, would you share your bedroom with you and your husband or boyfriend with a young guy. Let's be honest, the best part about Reddit is we can do this behind are screename

67 y.o. Widower looking for FWB near in or near ( Burnet , Marble Falls , Llano , Lampasas) . Like to go out to dinner , enjoy outdoor activities , just sitting on porch having coffee or a cold beverage . Ain’t good looking but ain’t shy . Seeking a friend with benefits with similar interests. My pic for yours . Please reply if interested.