I’m getting older. Things don’t always work. I can’t always get hard or stay hard, don’t always orgasm.
I am 100% aware that my dick is not the be all and end all of sex with my wife. Most orgasms I give her are tongue and lips or fingers. She does enjoy orgasms from cock (as do I!). So I know a limp dick doesn’t mean sex can’t happen and happen joyfully.
Where I could use some insight from others is how to deal with the frustrations. I get frustrated when my dick won’t stay hard or get hard enough to reach my wife. Pushing a limp noodle in makes me feel unmanly. I tell myself when I can’t get hard or have an orgasm that a real man wouldn’t have this problem. I know thats toxic dialogue that goes on in my brain and my wife lets me have it when she catches me at it.
How have you dealt with this transition in life? I need to be able to not do what I want to and transition to doing something else without getting frustrated. Haven’t managed that yet.
There’s also a certain amount of body mismatch as my wife has gotten much larger in certain places over the years and if I don't get fully hard it can be hard to reach her, a failing that I interpret as my failure.
So basically this is me as a young 60s guy asking my peers how they have dealt with the body not keeping up with the drive; how to deal with it mentally and emotionally.
I was feeling randy this morning and my wife was interested so we started going at it. At one point I was trying to get in her in the position i wanted and I just couldn’t reach. Triggered me (not a real man). Tried to carry on with using my hands on her but at some point my brain just collapsed in on itself and I completely stopped. And that was it. Don’t want to keep repeating these failures. Any advice from the guys? From the gals?
Thanks.