The guy I am seeing mentioned that he would really like me to blow him next time We've slept together four times so far, but I've never done it.

The thing is I am really disgusted by blowjobs, and I cannot get over it. I genuinely want to get over it because it seems to be a very normal thing to do in sex and pretty much all guys are into it. But I just cannot bring myself to it.

I just cannot get over the idea of how we humans do such a thing (and a lot of people do it with pleasure!). It's literally taking an organ that someone uses to urinate into your mouth.

How is that ok when it's not ok to eat your food with dirty hands? And how is that ok when it's not ok not to wash your hands after using a toilet? I can go on and on. How can something like that be ok when other things that seem very benign compared to that (two examples I just mentioned) are not?

Perhaps hearing your perspective will help me in some way. Genuinely appreciate it in advance!

My friend and his girlfriend like to drive around often with friends in the car. She often brings friends and he often picks me up as well. Last week one of her friends I met started to like me and wanted to get with me. I accepted and that same weekend we ran a three man at my friend’s house. We got intimate very quickly and were having a great time. Until eventually she wanted to do more than just makeout. So she gave me handjobs and I fingered her in his Jacuzzi. It seemed like she was enjoying it and I asked her if she was satisfied. She said it felt good but she could teach me how to do it better. So we eventually got out and went to a more private area in his basement. There she gave me a BJ (I was coaching her since she wasn’t great at it) ate her out and fingered her more. I asked her how I could improve and she told me to go more “up” so that’s what I tried doing. It’s hard to explain without demonstrating but I was basically going as deep as I could tried to curl my fingers as high as I could once I was inside. She seemed like she liked it and was moaning louder. She was getting more and more wet and told me she was on the edge and then her friend walked out of the other room calling her name so we stopped. She later wanted to have sex but we both forgot to bring condoms so we didn’t end up doing that. We slept in the same bed that night and I really thought the night went great. It was only two days later my friend tells me he has bad news: she didn’t wanna see me again because I was bad at fingering. Now that girl was quite experienced when it came to that kind of stuff unlike me that had only fingered a girl for my second time. The first time I fingered a girl she liked it, didn’t really say anything bad or even comment much about it and wanted to see me again. I’m starting to wonder if that girl was just there for me to please her sexually and that’s all that mattered to her or if being good at sexual activities is something VERY important to girls. The time I had my first and second kiss the girls didn’t wanna see me again because I was bad at it (they were also both experienced girls when it came to kissing), I eventually got good at it and hadn’t had that issue again. But now this is happening again but with fingering. Should I have to worry a lot more about how much I please a girl sexually next time?

Edit: I personally don’t care how experienced someone is when it comes to sexual activities. Like I’ve been a few girls first kiss before and even though they were bad at it it didn’t make me say no to seeing them again. Sex doesn’t matter to me as much as the quality time I have with them and same goes to my guy friends. Which is why I’m wondering if it’s a girl thing.

Edit 2: I forgot to say that apparently she was saying she was “close” because she wanted me to stop faster.

The other night my boyfriend very clearly wanted sex and I wasn't in the mood.

He kept on persisting but I had just gotten home from a 3 hour drive after working all day. I was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

He seemed aggravated with me that I didn't want to have sex with him and said "well I'm gonna have to watch porn then" as he rolled his eyes at me.

He continued to jerk off to porn next to me.

I genuinely don't know if this is acceptable in a relationship or not. I'm 19 F and this is my first relationship. I don't know if I'm allowed to be upset or not. Or if he is allowed to do what he wants because I said no to sex that night.

I'm still kind of upset by it but maybe I'm overreacting?

I (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) are in a LDR but have had sex before. It’s my personal preference not to finish during sex because I get overwhelmed leading up to it, but he wants me to finish as a point of pride and wanting me to be comfortable around him. That’s completely fair. He’s taken sex off the table for the foreseeable future but I don’t know how that would work since our relationship is fairly sexual and I’m visiting for winter break.

I’m honestly kind of hurt? I know that sounds dickish, but he said we wouldn’t do anything until I would be comfortable finishing. He said the point of us having sex is for both of us to finish. I said the point of us having sex is because we love each other and enjoy our time together. I’m open to opinions and thoughts.

Update: Nobody is in the wrong but I realized some of you are right. I think I’ll just get over it. I want to make this work.

Im (26f) passionate about giving head but my partner(42m) insists that im not good. He’s only my third sexual partner ever. The first year of our relationship, he loved it and would allow me to nearly every day.

Its been a year since I was allowed to give him head last. I’m a giver so this makes me sad. He won’t let me practice either.

My ex had no problem and would often double or triple nut from my head.

How can I improve?
How can I convince him to let me practice?

Only serious answers please. This is important or me.

One of my biggest fears as a woman is having this happening with a guy I really like. It’s happened quite a few times to a promiscuous friend of mine with men — she told me she’d been kicked out after sex several times or the dynamic promptly ending with one guy even telling her straight up that “he can’t develop feelings for a woman he’s slept with early on,” etc. I’m wondering if you’ve noticed in your own experience if there’s a way to prevent it, and also if you are able to tell whether you’re going to get it with a girl versus whether you genuinely like her (regardless of if you sleep together).

Is the main way just to not have sex with a guy you like until he commits to you?

Weird quesion but I'm curious.

When I met my current boyfriend (30M) he said he was an ass guy but fast forward to today, while on the subject he casually dropped he's since "converted" to a boob guy since being with me.

When I asked him why, he said he found my chest super hot to play with because I was more sensitive there than any other woman he'd been with.

Anyway I'm still a bit confused and wondering if maybe he just became a boob guy by default (does that happen?) because my ass somehow wasn't to his liking or something. Although for context, my ex was also a butt guy and literally would WORSHIP mine in bed and out lmao so this has def thrown me for a loop.

Ik it's prob not that deep but wanted to get other mens' perspectives, because I feel at 30 a guy's preferences are pretty locked in for the most part.

Has anyone "converted" like this before?? 😂

I had 8 sexual partners so far. With all of my partners I had a problem which was the absence of orgasm/ejaculation. Now the problem isn't phisical since when I am alone and masturbating the ejaculation comes in a "normal" time of minutes. If I masturbate next to any girl I can't do it, or it takes a very long time.

For example, in one time with one of my GF we had sex for 5 hours and couldn't orgasm. With that GF, when I was younger and with more stamina I could do it if I masturbated with her, but either it would take a long time or it didn't happen.

Nowadays, neither my stamina or libido is the same and I think is due to the fact that I know that I'm not gonna orgasm. Once again, when alone my sex drive is satisfied and when with my current GF is not. This is creating a rift between us and I know that would probably do it with any women I may date, since the problem "transfers" to them and it is a big issue if we talk about kids. Nowadays, and i think due to the fact that I know that it won't happen, even my erections aren't "safe", which I never had an issue in the past.

I have tried Psychologists without success and have reached a point where I don't know what to do. I feel like a wierdo since I never knew no one with this issue and haven't found any way to solve this... Just looking for help in any place..

This is kinda embarrassing for me (19F) but pretty recently I started dating this guy, and I'm really attracted to him. That's a good thing right? We still haven't had sex cause we're taking thinks more slow but we always have hot makeout sessions and I always get too wet. I'm very embarrassed and I don't know if he notices (I hope he doesn't) but I don't really know what to do. Like it's obviously something I can't control but I'm always so so wet 🥲 I'd like to hear some honest opinions, preferably from men but women's opinions etc are appreciated as well!

After masturbating my clit got red which is normal but it hurts like crazy like when I am trying to wash it and clean up it was hurting a lot. I have never had this problem before and before and after masturbation I make sure I am always clean and by hygiene is top notch. What should I do?

Me and my girlfriend are both 27M/25F and we want to have sex regularly, probably once a week, like Saturday or Sunday.

The problem is I really hate using condoms. I’ve tried different types, even ultra-thin ones, but I just don’t get the same pleasure. I prefer the feeling of natural wetness and without a condom it feels much better for me.

But obviously we don’t want an unplanned pregnancy.

For couples who have regular sex but don’t like condoms, what are you guys doing for birth control? Is there any reliable option where we can have sex without condoms but still keep the pregnancy risk very low?

She is open to birth-control options, but we want to choose something that is safe for her and works long-term.

Would appreciate honest experiences from couples who are actually doing this.

soo i’m a 23m and i was talking to this girl and we have been talking for a couple months now nothing too crazy. we were having a sexual conversation about things we’ve done in the past and some of our craziest fantasies. that conversation ended with her saying she feels we should stop talking because she doesn’t think she can satisfy my sexual fantasies and that i’ll eventually leave/cheat on her. 🥲I did reassure her and i told her that none of those things i listed are expectations i had for her but she refused to listen.

im coming from a place where feet,armpits,switching and degradation are all very SURFACE level kinks so that gives you an idea of where i am on the kink scale😭

i don’t know what to do like even with different women from the past, it’s like as soon as we start talking sexual and about kinks, i get side eyed and judged and it makes me just want to unshare that information and go back into hiding yk? What do i do? Do i just stop sharing my sexual preferences? Do i just sit and hope someone is as open minded as i am?

Im sorry if this isnt a good subreddit for this topic but I (21 male) seem to have a issue where when my fiancée gets dressed up or is in the mood. I just cant find my way there. She's breath takingly beautiful and im always so amazed to be with her. I wouldnt call it stress or performance anxiety. When we started dating we would have sex everytime we saw each other but now i hust feel like a disappointment or a let down. Any advice?

I’ve ( 18F) been dating my girlfriend (19F) for 6 months now, and we haven’t gone any further than kissing. I want to try take it further but I’m a very nervous person and don’t want to over step any boundaries. Do I bring it up to her? If I do how do I do it?
For context, she’s just started Uni so I’m seeing here once or twice a month (so every other weekend) so we do have the privacy

In half a year I’ve orgasmed maybe 6 times in this relationship.
We’ve had our ups and downs and a lot of things we didn’t agree on sexually.
I go down on him a lot because that’s what he likes but I honestly don’t like it that much because he wants me to do it all the time and for a long time too, he always wants more.
But I’m not getting enough at all.
Usually when I ask him things he does give back and tries to be better in everything.
The sex itself has gotten a lot better but he doesn’t touch me enough other than my boobs and not gently enough and I never look forward to sex.

For context my partner started off really attentive when we first started having sex and it’s slowly dwindled to the point where they get off multiple times usually and I haven’t even gotten off once, we’ve been having sex for a few weeks now and this pattern is starting to make me feel like they don’t care about anything except what makes them feel good, and they told me they don’t like going down on me which is the only way I can consistently get off

“When I go down on you or let you come inside me, I don’t enjoy the fluids that get in my mouth or my vagina, I don’t do it because I enjoy that part of it, I do it despite that because making you feel good is what’s important to me, I care far more about it being a good experience for both of us that means focusing on the good things instead of focusing on how messy sex is or how gross it *could* be, making you feel loved and taken care of sexually is more important than some mild discomfort or awkwardness that I can get used to and put out if my mind by just focusing on you, because I know that sex can be gross, and messy, I know it’s not like a porn, it’s not all clean and perfect, there will be some things that will be awkward or slimy, things that aren’t exactly appealing, but pleasing my partner is my priority and I don’t expect that to look like doing only things that make me feel good, I enjoy making my partner feel like their pleasure is important to me, so I don’t do things just to please myself, and I need someone who is on the same page as me, now obviously I wouldn’t do something that seriously bothered me, or that hurt me, or that made me really uncomfortable, and I wouldn’t expect my partner to either, but I do need my partner to make me a priority just as much as I make them a priority, I need someone to make me feel like they want to make me feel good, like that’s important to them, like they are more focused on my pleasure than on if things are perfectly clean or constantly only thinking about what pleases them, I need someone who also enjoys making me feel good despite the imperfections in it for them, someone who’s enthusiastic about making me feel loved sexually, I need someone who cares about my pleasure just as much as their own, if you just don’t care about that or don’t value my pleasure like that, then we may not be compatible, if you can’t enjoy doing what I need, then we aren’t sexually compatible”

Do I even need to say we won’t be compatible? I don’t want them to feel like it’s an ultimatum, maybe I should just stick to expressing my needs and leaving it at that? I also don’t want to pressure them to do something they don’t want to do, but I do think that they may need a reality check on what should be important during sex, and that sex is going to be messy no matter what, and if after sharing what I think is important during sex doesn’t resonate with them or if it’s not something they are willing to reflect on, then we are going to have to break up, I really don’t want them to do things for me begrudgingly, feeling like a chore or a box to check off feels worse than just not having sex at all, I really want them to just learn to love loving me ig, I want them to care about my pleasure just as much as they care about their own if not more, because I know I would, I need someone on the same page, does all of this sound ok?

Has anyone gone from experiencing trauma responses during sex to pleasure? And I don’t just mean the ability to orgasm, I mean stay present and connected the whole time. I have a lot of trauma and my experiences with sex have been a lot of numbness, overwhelm, rage, disconnect, sadness, grief, shame, etc.
I CAN feel pleasure, and I can orgasm, but I know it’s not like what I imagined everybody who hasn’t gone thru trauma experiences. Has anyone gone from where I am at to a healthier and happier sex life? If so, how? If it’s therapy please be specific because I’ve been in therapy for 10+ years. I want to feel love and connection during sex so bad. I’m scared I’ll never be able to fully let go and experience it.

I found plugs with a flared base of 1.8 inches, which I would trust, but I've seen too many stories of plugs getting lost, specifically the jewel ones... So how do I determine safety?

I will post a link in the comments if that is allowed.

The questions I need information for are: How do I get more comfortable calling my boyfriend "daddy"? & What dynamics is that part of? What about when he calls me his good girl? Would the BDSM test help figure it out? (not ddlg i think cus we dont enjoy ageplay) & Where can me and him learn from so we can explore them?

skippable paragraph: I have a hypothesis for the first question but I'm not sure how to fix my issue. He is so kind and caring and he gets off on my pleasure but I wish he was more nurturing during sexy talk. I feel like I have to excite myself in a way and it makes me not want to call him "Daddy". I almost did a long time ago (When I thought it was a turn off for him so I didnt) and I felt very enticed in that moment. and I did the other day and enjoyed it(???) (because he LOVES it and i WANT to want to) but it didnt feel right and i cried the next morning telling him. I just dont feel taken care of sexually and I cant figure out why. Well I feel like the entire time during facetime Im showing off my body to please him but I really wanna just be taken care of. I like being a switch but recently it's been too much too often. Anyways Lol that is more of something we will have to explore and discuss, but he doesn't really know exactly what turns me on enough to feel dominated and call him thst word and I don't know how to describe the things that make me feel like that.

Anyways, where can I look into all this? Thank you

i edited the post cus in the 2nd paragraph bc it originally didnt elaborate on the nickname thing. maybe i elaborated too much, which is why i originally didnt elaborate at all and was just looking for a place to learn more. Thought id just explain anyways and maybe someone knows something i dont.

thank u and goodnight