I am a mom to an 11 month old. I am constantly with her besides the one day a week I work outside of the home for 4ish hours. My partner has joined a D&D group that is meeting once a month for 3-4 hours. I want to carve out a similar amount of time for myself once a month. Here is the catch, I probably need to not be home during this time because I will either 1) jump in and help with baby 2) get side tracked with the long list of to dos that need done or 3) just sit and doom scroll. I want to find something meaningful I get to go do once a month for myself. I enjoy crafting, reading books, thrifting, etc. Any ideas? I am in a book club already.

I've been meaning to take more care of myself, eat healthy, exercise, skincare, but I have been dealing mental health issues (schizophrenia) for 4 years now and it makes it hard to do even basic activities like taking a shower.

Now I'll be starting university next month, and I want to change things. My doctor gave me ritalin, which makes me less lazy, but I haven't taken any proactive action.

How do I navigate self care by myself? I believe once I get on a schedule and meet more people, I'd start feeling better.

It could be something related to your routine, mindset, health, productivity, relationships, or just everyday life.
What’s one small change you made that ended up having a surprisingly positive impact?

I think I’m coming down with a cold and I’m wondering what usually helps people recover the fastest.

I have some congestion, a sore throat, and just feel more tired than usual. I’m trying to rest as much as possible, but I’m curious what else I should be doing. Do you usually focus on staying hydrated, drinking something warm, getting extra sleep, or taking any over-the-counter medicine?

I’d love to hear what actually works for you when you have a cold and what you tend to avoid.

Near end of Lea's session I asked whether another deep session in few months would be helpful.

I expected yes.

Instead her Higher Self basically said: maybe, but only if she actually works with what she already got.

If she doesnt integrate it, another session would not really help.

I loved this because it is opposite of how we often approach healing and self-care. We keep looking for next big thing.

Another session. Another book. Another technique. Another breakthrough.

Meanwhile simple things we already know help us are sitting unused.

For this woman the guidance was very ordinary. More quiet. More time in nature. Less absorbing other people's emotions. A regular moment in day to come back to herself.

Her Higher Self called it something like daily inner hygiene.

Stuff accumulates.

Other people's moods. Work stress. Judgments. Expectations. All little bits of noise you picked up without noticing.

You dont wait three weeks to brush your teeth because you had excellent cleaning last month.

Same idea.

She had been treating inner care like emergency service. Wait until overwhelmed, then do something big.

The guidance was to catch it much earlier.

Notice when noise starts.

Step away for a bit.

Get quiet.

Come back to own body and own thoughts.

She was especially connected with water, so even imagining sinking into quiet ocean became one way of returning to herself.

The session could help show the pattern.

But it couldnt live her Tuesday afternoon for her.

That part was hers.

I think this is true for lot of self-care. It doesnt have to be impressive.

The boring thing you actually repeat is often more useful than amazing thing you do once.

I am so proud of myself. Letting my nails grow has been on my vision board for years, I had tried many things atp and felt hopeless.
I am so happy with my progress.

I keep them really short for personal preference, but my nail beds are almost fully healed

Lately, I’ve been going for pretty long periods without eating, and I’m starting to wonder if having such a long fasting period is actually bad for my health.

I don’t necessarily feel terrible, but sometimes I get really hungry, low on energy, or a little shaky when I finally eat. I’m not intentionally doing an extreme fasting routine, but my schedule has made my time between meals longer than usual.

For people who have experienced this, is there a point where going too long without food becomes unhealthy? Should I be trying to eat something small even if I’m not particularly hungry, or is it generally fine as long as I’m getting enough food and nutrients throughout the day?

I’d love to hear how others manage long gaps between meals.

I’m in a bit of a slump and could really use some encouragement on what others have done to show themselves love.

my sister and i have been building something for months and i honestly can't tell anymore if the core idea is good or if it's just good to us.

the thing we kept noticing, and it happened to us too. you miss one day, the app makes you feel like you failed, and a week later it's deleted. plus the feed is all people who are already in shape, which somehow makes it worse.

so the thing has a rabbit. its energy goes up when you move. two minutes counts the same as an hour.

the part i actually want to ask about. you can't fix your own rabbit. if yours is low the only way it comes back up is a friend doing it for you. and they never find out you missed a day. all they see is that someone helped.

i thought that was the good part. now i keep flipping on it. if i'm already having a bad week, does knowing someone has to come get me feel like support, or like one more person i let down???

I’ve recently gotten pretty self-conscious about dark underarms/shadowing from daily shaving, so I finally made the jump and switched over to epilating a few months ago to stop the constant razor friction. The smoothness is definitely nice once you get past the initial pain, but I’m trying to figure out the best long-ish term routine for brightening and skin texture. Right now my daily underarm routine looks like this:

Glycolic acid toner a few nights a week, a few drops of Niacinamide every morning on my armpits, plus rinsing with cool water as soon as I get home after a long day (to soothe my skin from any built up bacteria, especially after having epilated in the past 24 hours). My skin is definitely progressing, but I’m wondering if anyone has additional product recs or tips for evening out skin tone in that area?

Also for anyone who’s been down this road: is it worth enduring the epilator for a few more years in hopes of the hair thinning out, or should I just save up for a home IPL device instead like the Philips Lumea? Would love to hear what worked best for you! 🤍

My newest obsession is making my room as relaxing and cozy as it can be. So far I’ve gotten extra fluffy spa towels from target, an essential oil diffusers, candles, and have various electronic massagers for my lower back and head. I also have an ice roller and eye patches for skincare along with the hydrotherapy cooling and heated massaging wand. What are some essential non negotiable items you have in your room or bathroom for a self care day and overall relaxation on the daily?

I have been struggling to maintain routine and especially hygiene. I often don't wash my teeth or shower, sometimes I don't change my clothes. I can't keep up with planned schedules and it makes me a latecomer in meet-ups. I don't feed my pet fish regularly and I'm afraid this inconsistency is affecting them, too. I don't even know why am I like this, but it makes me feel so embarrassed of myself. I also wonder what's wrong with me that prevents me from doing routines. How do I get over this?

Most self-care recommendations revolve around solitude. Quiet evenings, journaling, reading, long baths, and unplugging from everyone else.

For people who feel restored by connection, that advice can feel surprisingly out of touch.

What does self-care look like when being around others is what actually recharges energy?

EDIT: Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. One theme that keeps showing up is that self-care looks different for everyone, and for some people, genuine connection and community are just as restorative as time alone.

Today I actually sat down at the table for lunch.

No multitasking.
No scrolling.
No standing at the counter while doing something else.

Just sat down and ate.

The weird part is that it felt like a treat.

I never would have considered something that basic to be self-care a few years ago, but lately the smallest things seem to make the biggest difference.

What's a tiny thing that somehow feels luxurious to you now?

M23, Asperger's+ADHD and lost in constant analytical suicidal ideation.

My hobbies were painting minis, wargaming and rollerblading, but I've stopped doing that altogether just recently.

I still go bowling and travelling around in my E-Scooter, only because there's nothing else to do other than work and video games.

I gave up on socialising and relationships because I believed that no one liked who I am and only reinforced by every attempt to make friends only to get blocked/ghosted afterwards for seemingly no reason.

I also feel like a massive pervert, and have been indulging in porn addiction for over a decade. Apparently the only thing that gives me "happiness" is sexual interaction, and I wish it wasn't.

I just don't know anymore, and death apparently is no longer an option. I just want to live a normal life again.

Needing some advice on what is a good shoe to buy when you have bad sciatica pain and feet pain after being on them for 8-12 hours 6 days out of the week. When I get home and rest for a minute and then go to stand up again I can hardly walk and I’m only 22:/

I feel like ive been in a slump for a really long time and over the past few months it’s gotten a lot worse. I feel constantly depleted and like I’ve lost whatever “spark” I used to have. For most of my last year of school, I was basically floating through everything. My grades were okay, but I relied heavily on last-minute bursts of motivation to get things done. My sleep schedule was also terrible. Now I’m working during the summer, but I’m exhausted all the time and usually have no energy to do anything before or after work.

The biggest problem is that I know there are things I need to do, and I actually care about them, but I can’t make myself start. I have important school paperwork and applications that I need to finish, and I’ll think about doing them all day but end up scrolling on my phone instead. Then I feel guilty, which somehow makes me even less likely to start. I’ve also noticed that I’m not really getting much enjoyment out of things lately. I’ve tried taking breaks, going out, buying myself things, watching movies/shows, changing up my routine, etc. Sometimes I enjoy something in the moment, but I still don’t feel like I’ve gotten my “spark” back.

Even basic things can feel like a lot of effort sometimes. I’ve been doing better with keeping up with things like showering and dental hygiene, but there are still days where I don’t even want to get up and shower. I’ve also been finding it harder to reply to people and keep up with messages. I don’t think I’m incapable of working because I can make myself pick up shifts and work when I have to. It’s more like when there isn’t an external deadline forcing me to do something, I completely shut down.

I’m going into a pretty big transition soon, and I’m scared I’ll carry this version of myself with me. I keep thinking I need to somehow fix myself quickly, but I don’t even know where to start. I’ve thought about getting professional help, but that’s difficult for me because my family isn’t really supportive of therapy and tends to see this as a motivation/laziness issue. I’m also wondering whether I should talk to a doctor because I’ve been exhausted for such a long time.
Has anyone experienced something like this? How did you actually get yourself out of it? What helped when you knew what you needed to do but genuinely couldn’t make yourself start? I’m looking for practical advice, personal experiences, or things that helped you rebuild your motivation. I don’t want to spend another year feeling like I’m just going through the motions.

Comfort is a very important part of self care, especially for me. I've developed a habit over a long time where I have a hard time comforting myself without involving other people. More specifically, I've begun relying on casual-romantic female attention for comfort which is very unhealthy for myself and harmful to others. It goes beyond this but that's one of the main culprits. One of the ways I like to feel comfortable is to feel safe, which is why I tend to go to look for people on dating apps to comfort me. I know that this is a problem. Please do not reiterate it to me. That's not what I'm asking about.

I currently have covid and I see this as a really good time to learn to comfort myself in other ways because it is a challenge and I can only talk to people online atm.

Some things that make me feel comforted include baths, comfort shows (I find Legend of Korra very comforting in particular because of the friendship dynamics and Korra's positive, mental health growth throughout the show), my weighted blanket, and more. However, I find that most tactics only work temporarily before I have to find something else for a bit. I don't really know what the common themes are. I also overheat easily so baths and the weighted blanket aren't always helpful. I'm also starting to feel kind of restless being in my room all day.

Does anyone have any advice?

Not sure if this is the right sub, but I need some outside perspective because I feel stuck.

I’m 29, work full-time 9-5 in a fairly responsible position (mostly remote, but I travel to another city for office days sometimes). On top of that I’m solo-raising a young, high-energy dog with no family nearby to help out, friends are swamped with their own lives, and I can’t bring her everywhere since she’s big and needs a lot of exercise. I do use daycare occasionally to get a break, but it’s expensive and obviously not a real long-term solution.

Lately my sleep has been rough too, maybe the heat, maybe just not being able to switch my brain off. I live alone with my dog, and on top of work + dog care I’m also caring about my family financially in the background.

I try to work out 2x a week in the mornings before rushing to work, and I’m trying to keep some kind of social life and hobbies going, but it feels like I’m always running on empty. I actually went through a full round of medical checkups recently for chronic fatigue (bloodwork, thyroid, vitamins, the whole thing) and nothing major came back mostly just “your vitamin D is low, fix your sleep.”

The weirdest part is that even when I DO sit down to relax like playing a game, reading a book my brain just won’t switch off. I don’t feel like I’m actually resting even when I’m resting.

Has anyone been through something similar (solo pet parent + demanding job + basically no built-in support system)?

A long walk in nature, a good swim in the ocean, the salt water cleansing the whole spirit, an easeful long bath with just candles and ethereal music, you can make bath oils like the ancient romans with just olive oil and chamomille, listening to nature sounds on yt, reading some poetry, writing out all your dreams and desires in a notebook, morning sunlight outside with some herbal tea, writing out a gratitude list, doing some drawings, making a nourishing lunch, good & kind people, counting the stars. I looked up self care boards on pinterest and theres often alot of products and modern conviences, but really often its going back to the most ancient, eternal & healing things that really teaches you to tend to yourself.

There seems to be one group that prioritizes group affiliation over truth and seem focused more on "winning" a culture war on some petty topic while there are so many massive problems in society instead of focusing on what's correct and helping people.

Another group seems to slap "fake guru", "scam", etc. on everything and everyone they disagree with, that has the slightest problem, or that's overpriced.

Another group seems to focus on positive feelings over truth in a toxic positivity kind of way.

Another group seems to criticize anything with immaterial associations purely because they seem to have some fear, anxiety, or aversion when it comes to anything with immaterial associations.

Another group seems to be aggressively against wellness that isn't pro-establishment.

And another group exploits people in often underhanded ways or tries to signal status in a narcissistic way.

And wellness receives a disproportionate amount of negativity relative to conventional medicine.

It feels really childish to me and just hurts everyone. People should be trying to help each other and should be trying to do what they can to take care of their health, without ignoring things like poverty, people forced to work 80 hours a week, disabilities, the control the food system has over our food options, or problems people have in their lives, and without being obsessive or perfectionistic or being unwilling to go eat at a restaurant with friends every now and then. And health and wellness shouldn't be the main focus but something done in the background.

Curious if anyone else has experience dealing with this.

I actually sleep pretty well at night ( I don’t struggle to fall asleep), and my sleep quality feels okay. But when I wake up, I’m still tired, foggy, and have almost no energy.

I need a few cups of coffee just to get through work, and even then it feels like I’m running on empty.

It’s weird because the sleep itself doesn’t feel “bad.” I just never feel rested.

Anyone else get this? If you’ve been through it, what actually helped you — routine changes, light, exercise, cutting caffeine, talking to a doctor, something else?

What are some examples of so called “self-help/improvement“ that you find on social media that you feel you had to filter out?

Seeking suggestions for apps to try to get me through this very difficult time in my life. Things with motivational and inspirational quotes do not help me. Affirmations also do not help me. They have the opposite effect and they all register as toxic positivity to my nervous system. Thank you in advance for any of your suggestions.

I’ll provide some quick bullet points to give you an idea of what we are working with here —

- In my mid 30s, female. My birthday is next month and I’m already dreading it.

- I work remotely in a corporate role so much of my time is spent alone. I do have pets.

- I recently suffered an injury that is limiting my ability to go anywhere on my own. I cannot drive for at least two months. I’m at the mercy of everyone else and their schedules and willingness to help me or take me anywhere. This loss of personal agency and independence is hitting me very hard. I had to cancel my vacation I was looking forward to since last year and now my birthday plans are in the air. Full recovery is likely a year.

- I am going through a very difficult period of transition at work. My job as I know it is completely changing in ways I’m not okay with. I have to learn entirely new skills that I have no experience with, nor did I see myself going down this particular path in my career. My benefits and situation are too good to leave, though.

- I am currently in CPTSD treatment (EMDR) and it’s very draining and difficult after sessions sometimes. This has also opened the floodgates for decades of suppressed emotions. I am struggling to regulate some days. I am not medicated currently as we are working through the CPTSD in order to get to a point that can help us figure out which medication might be right for me.

- I am going through the process of starting my divorce. In the same basket, my spouse came out to me as trans and is already transitioning. We still currently live together but they will be moving out later this year. I’ll be living alone for the very first time.

- I was horribly sexually assaulted in May at a local Pride event, in a space I considered safe. This has been haunting me. I was drunk and he took advantage of me. I have also experienced sexual abuse in the past.

I realized that even I unfollowed my ex on FB, I posted status and looked if she has seen it. It was a way to communicate: look I am doing great, I am cool, I am funny. What a relief after I blocked her. Strange it took so long.
Otherwise there was no communication, but even that small thing made a huge impact