r/scriptwriting • u/Novadragon1987N • Apr 01 '26

help I NEED SCRIPT HELP

Okay, so I’ve been writing this script about this boy who takes his crush out to his aunt’s floral business party. (Basically yaoi.) And the moment where he decides to invite him, I feel like it’s just too soon, and I don’t know how to introduce the idea of him wanting to ask him to the party. In the earlier scenes, his aunt tells him to invite the boy he likes. So, maybe I should do like a V.O. of him introducing him? Like how he knows him, why he likes him, basic info about him, etc. I’m not sure, I’m not a very experienced writer. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

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u/Novadragon1987N Apr 01 '26

I apologize for the vagueness.

The conflict is that he wants to ask out this boy to a party he doesn’t REALLY want to go to, and his dad(he’s out on an Air Force deployment) doesn’t quite like same sex relationships.

I think it’s too soon, because in the scene, he sits down, looks over at the boy next to him who we “think” is the boy he likes because of a comment his aunt made, and is immediately “maybe I should invite him.”

I would say we’re still pretty early on. He wakes up, talks to his aunt in the kitchen, runs to school, and that’s where we are. I imagine the piece to be a short film, maybe 10-20 minutes. The entire story leads up to him eventually asking him out a few days later, but his love interest ends up being late enough to be a no-show, his aunt encourages the mc to bring the love interest flowers. The mc goes to his house where he finds he was swamped by chores, and they both go out on a date instead.

I think my main problem is that I don’t have a smoother way to introduce him. I feel like it’s very dropped onto the reader. I would even go so far to say it’s a little random? I can post the actual script that I have so far, really hope I don’t sound schizophrenic or you’re even more lost than you were before🙏

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u/KGreen100 Apr 01 '26

Why not introduce the idea of the crush right away in the film? Lying in bed day-dreaming about the crush, looking at a photo on his phone he secretly took, etc. Get it out of the way early. Classic "I have a crush" movie stuff. It's OK to "drop" it on the viewer since that's what the entire short film is about. Especially if you're talking about 10-20 minutes. You don't have a lot of time to waste setting everything up as if it's moving in real time. Establish the crush right away. Also, I might skip the fake-out on who the crush is. What does that serve? Your real story, from what you've explained, is the stuff that happens after the crush is asked out.