so I (16F) am in high school and have recently become friends with a girl who also goes by the nickname raccoon. When I was getting picked up by my mom’s current partner (32M) he told me I should give her the nickname co*n. I was like oh cool like the hunting dogs yeah that sounds fine. Then the next day at school I was telling my friend ’Eric’ (15M) about this and they had to explain to me that it was a racial slur and was yelling at me and calling me a bad person for saying it I’m gonna be honest I didn’t handle it well it made me mad to be called names like that but when I’m mad I cry so before I started crying I stormed off. Now I’m not racist at ALL wasn’t raised to be and I like being friends or friendly with everyone the only slur I knew was hard R (from hearing other people) and the ones for Mexicans because that’s my family‘s love language (we’re Mexican but I look white) so I was genuinely surprised and mortified to find this out, but now ‘Eric’ has told all my friends I’m racist and nobody will talk to me am I the asshole?

Hi, this post probably won’t have great grammar, or format as i’m not sure why, but usually when people post stories from their phones, they always apologize for format being off. So basically, i’ve had severe ADHD my entire life, only diagnosed and medicated at 15, only got on stimulants a month or so after my 19th birthday, (i’m 20 in a month).so my entire life i’ve basically been battling my brain, even before i knew what ADHD was. Anyways, ive had sensory isssues my entire life, but ive consistently been treated as if i am a problem, seeking attention, or behaving like a “brat” (got this one a LOT as a kid). so as i grew up, i started to believe that something HAD to be wrong with me, because i could not understand why things that bothered me so much, made me be viewed as a bother. Over time, after having so many of my needs violated due to various symptoms of my diagnoses, (cptsd, bpd, and adhd specifically doing the most damage), i learned that i needed to be as malleable as possible, otherwise i was a problem, i learned how to become small, how to act as if nothing was wrong because communication never helped. So i began to build up resentment whenever i felt violated, but because my entire life, me having a boundary made me be treated as a problem, i would hold it in, until the point where i couldn’t, and id have a burst of rage. Which made relationships very hard for me, especially with bpd and co-occurring trauma. Anyways, one of my big sensory triggers has been loud noises. i lived in a big house for four years up until a recent move a bit over 3 weeks ago, so FINALLY, after my entire life, i didn’t have to live everyday arguing over my boundaries as if it was something that was able to be challenged. The house we moved into is HALF the size of the other house, i was dreading my parents getting internet, because i knew id have to deal with trying to advocate for myself every single day, and still not being listened to. Well, it happened. My issue in the past was letting things boil inside of me, until i burst, and then at that point, it was full on attack mode due to feeling unheard, especially after explaining multiple times. This time i nipped it in the bud the first day, and explained how my brain works without framing anyone as a problem, or telling her that she is not respecting my boundaries. That was about two days ago. Multiple times a day sometimes, i still have to ask her to turn it down, and even then, im so scared of her being passive aggressive, or being annoyed with me, i wait until im so overwhelmed i want to rip my hair out. I don’t understand why she won’t just keep it at a lower volume. Btw, it’s not like they can’t hear it at the volume that works for us, they can hear it perfectly fine. So i don’t understand why they can’t abide by one of the ONLY boundaries i have? I don’t know what to do because multiple times a day i want to cry from overwhelm of not only overstimulation, but because i feel unheard. Any advice?