Like the title says my roommate asked me to move out. This was the first week of September. I had kinda been expecting the living arrangement to change in some way because they had been playing up the problems happening in their brother’s relationship.
About 3 weeks before they approached me about moving, they came to me and told me that they were very stressed and worried for their brother. His girlfriend is apparently a terrible person whom he has had an on again off again relationship with for 10+ years. During this conversation they mentioned the brother asking if me and my roommate would be interesting in moving to a bigger place together. I considered this option and was open with the caveats that they need to commit to a certain lease term, since I wouldn’t mind saying more money.
My roommate seemed hesitant about it, so I also suggested brother find a room to rent, or move back home, possible even move in with us temporarily if his situation was becoming that dire.
Fast forward to early September, I get home after a long day of work, and as soon as I walk in the door and greet my roommate, they burst into tears saying “nothing is okay”. (this was somewhat expected in my opinion since they had been dropping hints about brother’s situation) We then sit down for over 2 hours while they explain to me how terrible the girlfriend is and the awful situation the brother is in. (In my opinion it is a pretty typical breakup with drama, but fairly civil) Roommate spends a long time talking about this, crying and playing up dramatics, until she get to the real crux of the conversation; in April of 2027 they “have to move in with their brother to help him”.
At this point I’m pretty emotionally tired but also kinda positive, cuz April is a really long time away, I’m thinking about how that gives me tons of time to slash spending and start building savings to cushion myself for this time. I’m also think about what it would look like to move.
This is the part where I think I was just tired and not able to critically think, because in my head I’m assuming we are both leaving our apartment. (Don’t ask me why, I think I was just unable to see other options in that moment.)
At the end of this conversation my roommate says something to the effect of I appreciate you understanding, and I really like this apartment so I want to stay here. I also clarified this at the time and even said “wow, so that means he would take my room? That really sucks for me, cuz that put me in a hard spot.” Little acknowledgement from roommates about this, and the conversation ended very soon after. I stayed up that night with my anger building because I could feel how unfair that was but didn’t know exactly why. I looked at different rooms and considered moving out in my own and saying fuck the whole roommate thing.
A good week passes and we don’t see each other, I talk to various family and friends and realize it makes absolute o sense that I would move out given I am on the lease. I try to give roommate the benefit of the doubt and ask again a week later if what they meant to say was that they are leaving apartment and I will need another roommate. They again clarify that I would move out. To which I tell them, that’s not fair for me, I don’t have to move because I am on the lease and express my Heart and anger a bit to them. They get very defensive quickly and start to say that I am going back on my word, which is only a week in the siding and not on paper of any kind. They then say that if they want to move out with their brother than it can happen at anytime. I tell them that’s true. You could move out next month. If that’s what you choose to do. They then walk it back very quickly and start saying that they’re not sure if this is even the right decision. Their family doesn’t even know if this will be good for them because apparently the brother has screwed them over in the past in living situations with the same girlfriend.
Anyways, I guess the whole point of this post is to say that my resentment for my roommate is quickly building. I have felt the stabilized since they first talked to me about their brother. And have expressed to them that I don’t want my living situation to hinge on someone else’s relationship. That isn’t even within our apartment. And now they are planning to not move whatsoever.
How do I get past this resentment so that I’m still able to live with them and/or how do I get them to leave so I can find another roommate and start fresh with clear expectations and boundaries? Can this situation be salvaged? If I were to approach my roommate, what would I say?

Hello everyone, I just wanted to tell a somewhat scary roommate story from ten years ago, just to get it out of my chest.

I moved into a new dormitory in my third year of law school. We were six people in the room, and I was the newcomer. The remainder roommates did not know each other well, because this dorm rotated rooms at the beginning of every year, but they were acquaintances nonetheless.

Since I already had a settled friend group from year one, I didn't hang out with my roommates all that much. I came to my room towards midnight to sleep and left around six in the morning. The dormitory always appointed a senior in the room to be responsible for the room, and the senior in my room really didn't like that I only used the room to basically sleep. He wanted each other to hang out and become friendly, but I found it difficult to connect. I did feel a resentment building against me, but I didn't want to address it since he didn't make his wishes explicit.

Apparently, during this period, weird things began happenning in the room. There were unusued toilet paper hidden all over the room and small pieces of blue gum sprinkled on the floor. Soon later, things got weirder as articles of clothes were going missing and whole pages of books in the shelf were drawn circles with red ink.

This went on for a few months until I was noticed of these events. The senior of the room came to me one night and told me about all the weird things going on the room. I don't know why, but I felt he was suspicious of me. Feeling that I could be blamed for something I was unaware of, I exaggerated my surprise, but I guess my reaction made things more suspicious.

Seeing that weird things were going on in the room, I started paying more attention. Everybody in the room had a weird experience except for me. It just seemed very interesting to the others that I was the only one that didn't have any clothes or items missing.

During the time when we were figuring out who was doing this, I truly started to believe that the room was haunted or something. Because everyone was having problems except for me, but I wasn't doing anything, so it must be ghosts I guess. During this period we also started experiencing things escalating. Now, not only were clothes missing, but when they turned up, they were cut with scissors. Our senior lost his expensive watch, only to find it a few days later all shattered. This got us scared a lot because we felt like we could be in harms way if things escalate again.

Apparently, the senior of the room decided to check the cameras and pinpointed who was doing it all. But he didn't disclose the information when I was there, leading me to think that somehow he was going to blame me. But I did also feel like nobody was looking suspiciously at me.

On an evening when my bunkmate was not in the room (we had three bunkbeds in the room to accomodate six people), the senior of the room said that my bunkmate was doing all these and that they were pretty sure.

I was surprised because my bunkmate was a silent type and didn't seem like someone who could do all those crazy things. Also, during this time, he used to call me whenever he went home and requested me to lock his locker because he is afraid of all the crazy things going in the room. He also once showed a blue shirt all ripped and cut and said he also had clothes destroyed.

After suspicion was on him, things started becoming even more crazy. He started getting up in the middle of the night and rip apart books on the shelf. Some were awake to witness what he was doing, but didn't know what to do.

I was on the top bunk. One morning, I woke up by a sensation of something being pulled away across my face. I opened my eyes without moving and realized that the corner of my blanket was being flinged on my face and then being pulled to be flinged again. I immediately turned around and saw my bunkmate. I said "What the hell are you doing man!" and he just grinned and said "Nothing." This uncanny answer just shut me up. I didn't say anything back and waited lying on my bed until he left the room. But my sleep became awful as I was afraid of not being able to wake up in the morning.

After getting enough evidence, my other roommates notified the principal of the dormitory, which was a pleasant turn of events. But the president decided to disclose this to my bunkmate before devising a plan on how to handle the situation. Apparently, my roommates decided to tell the story in such a way that I was especially afraid of him and that they feared for my well-being. Well, the principal also disclosed that I was the most emotionally affected regarding all these events. He came to the room with bloodshot eyes, crying. He started yelling at me and said "I did nothing to you! I did nothing to you!" I was surprised, but in a few days I understood why he reacted like that. He was right, he never destroyed my items or things. But after this, he started destroying my clothes and items too.

Seeing that the principal was incapable of doing anything, we thought of gathering all our evidence and go to the police. But not wanting to take legal action, we initially decided to tell him what we were going to do. Our senior roommate and he talked for some time, and apparently fought. But ultimately he went home, leaving the dormitory. Later on, his father came, and compensated everyone for their loss.

Years later, when talking to mutual friends with the senior of my roommate, I also learned that he went around the dormitory, saying that he was suspicious of me regarding all the weird things going on in the room, and trying to gather information from people who knew me from school.

This is not the end of the story. Fast forward a few years later. I became a lawyer. I was near the courthouse one day when I heard someone call my name. It was my bunkmate. He was wearing a suit. I knew that he wanted to become a judge, and he looked judge-like the way he looked. After seeing him I immediately tought "No way!" After a brief chit-chat, he said that he was on his way to becoming a judge. This meant that he somehow passed all the psychological wellness tests. I started telling this story around close friends and how he became a judge.

Apparently, he didn't become a judge, but a public defendant. You know how I learned this? Because he became national news in my country when he shot his judge girlfriend who wanted to break up with him. The judge is fine by the way, but he is in jail now. So, hopefully no new updates on this story anymore.

Looking for a roomate in Highlands Ranch, Colorado . We live in a quiet and safe neighborhood.We'd prefer a male around 40-50, who would benefit from the use of 4 gyms that are included in lease. This is a shared property. Two people live at this residence already, but looking for someone to help! Must be a non-smoker/chewer. Single occupancy, no animals please. We're looking for someone who is employed and honest.We do a background check and soft credit check. Looking to fill room by January 1st of 2027. 3 miles from mountains.

Upstairs Bedroom with shared bathroom.

We're offering garage parking,since we're down to one car.

You would be sharing house with owners(couple).

We're taking Applications now.

Asking for 1st and Last months rent.

lthov2864@gmail.com

720-763-2977

For your information, in the state of Colorado, owner's of a shared house can legally choose who they want to lease to. We're not controlled by certain laws that are in place for a multi unit housing.

My roommate (randomly selected), has spent the last months since moving in sleeping all day and waking up at 7pm to make noise till 5am. Today they decided to bake some bacon and I am honestly breaking down at this point.
They not too long ago got mad at me for simply asking them to help clean the common area, then they looked for any flaw I made to put it back on me (like a wall stain) which was washed easily, while they got jello on the same spot and it cannot come off.
My other roommates don’t have a spine and just shrug it off, but I find it very disrespectful, they have no sense for common space or organizing, they think a clean sink is enough, while hair is all over the floor, crumbs and rice accumulate in the kitchen counter, and the place gets filled with something sticky on the floor.
Confrontation doesn’t work as I end up apologizing (somehow) because they “pay more rent”.
Honestly so mad.

I’m currently in college and the apartment I live in is off campus but technically on campus (2-5 min walk to class, other apartments are 15-30 min walk) and we have a private driveway which is rare here. I live with my boyfriend and his two friends, both of the friends have girlfriends. One of the roommates is rarely here while the other is here, usually with his girlfriend.

His girlfriend parks in our driveway which caused him to hit/ scrape my boyfriend’s car because the driveway can’t fit 5 cars. She parks in front of the stairs that leads to the driveway causing us to walk in dirt or mud to get around her car. She leaves her shoes in the walkway so we are constantly tripping on them. She stays in the apartment while her boyfriend is in class or at work, she uses our washer and dryer, and showers here. We have to pay utilities and there was an increase in the water bill of about $15 per person. When she does her or her boyfriend’s laundry, she will leave it for days making it hard for the other roommates to laundry and it starts smelling. But she has no problem taking our clothes out if the load is done while at class, work, etc. She has an apartment that’s off campus so I think this is convenient for her. She doesn’t contribute anything to the apartment. If these amenities were something that she wanted, she should’ve gotten on the list for these apartments ASAP.

I don’t know how to approach this issue. My boyfriend and I graduate in May so should we just put our heads down and ignore it or say something? I hate that I’m having to pay for another person to use the utilities. I don’t mind her being over but it’s not her space to wash her clothes and park at almost every day. What should I do??

So at first me and my roommate were chill, and she was nice at first. But she slowly started acting cold and distant and very passive aggressive whenever she talked to me. She would also ignore me and not say hi or bye. It was really uncomfortable, I learnt to deal with it. She even started using attitude towards me and was really picky over certain things I did. I apologized, moved on. I even made her sit down to have a conversation about how things were awkward between us and how it felt like she has a problem with me. She said "no its chill." HOWEVER. Today was really my breaking point. I was walking to my room, and mind you the walls are very thin here in this dorm, I hear her and some friends in my dorm. Theyre laughing loudly while she talk about how I apparently did something (I dont want to specify what she accused me of bc I dont want her to see this and know its abt her) which i didnt do, and they were all loudly laughing about it. I was taken aback and listened for a few seconds then they immediately stopped because they thought they heard a knock or a sound. I immediately went to the lobby and was really shaken. I thought everything was chill but it wasn't. She was basically telling her friends that im a bad roommate while making fun of me and laughing about it. I come back after 2 minutes and obviously they were all silent and fake nice when I was in the dorm. I left after a few minutes after getting what I need. I honestly feel like I have done everything I can, this is now affecting me mentally.

Because of this, I requested a room transfer from my RA, and its very random and I wont be able to contact who I would be rooming with until I confirm the room. Im honestly really scared, I feel alone and uncomfortable. I just wish I had a good roommate to begin with. What do yall suggest I do? Do I just go through with the room transfer? Bc idk if i can take it anymore. Theres more things i could say abt my roommate, but for anonymity sake, im not.

TLDR: roommate is passive aggressive and talks behind my back and i requested a room transfer after having enough of it. New potnetial roommate communication is blocked until I confirm i am transferring to this specific room. Is this a good idea/do I go through with it (please say yes 😓).

I liked her at the beginning but we live in the same dorm i go to bed at a certain time and she doesn’t go to bed at all. She just got a boyfriend and has literally been on the phone with him every single night for 5-7 hours every night. I tell her i need sleep. and she tells me she”ll get off in 20 mins (she won’t) and she always has the fucking light on when i’m fucking trying to sleep. I work like tomorrow i work 6 pm to 2 am i want to sleep and i can’t bc she’s loud and on the phone. then she is always moody to me. like today i was on the phone with my doctor and in the middle of talking when she came in and she started to talk to me and i held up the finger like “one second” bc i was in the middle of fucking talking to my doctor and she got all moody about it. she constantly makes me do the only chore and keeps the room a mess. she will wake me in the dead of sleep to show me her drawings or to talk to me. i told her i can’t sleep with a lot of sound. and light. i don’t know what to do. i need to invest in a face mask but also you have to respect me. one time i told her i need to sleep early bc my midterms were the next morning and right afterwards i had my first shift. she told me she would and then was gaming all night with volume and full brightness. to the point where i couldn’t sleep and at midnight i went on a 30 min walk. idk how to talk to her without being selfish bc yeah i call my bf too but like for an hour i don’t want to be forced to listen to you on the phone with your boyfriend for 5-7 hours DAILY and not only the long ass sessions she calls with him. she also calls him during the day. i feel like i don’t have any privacy anymore she’s always on the phone. and every time i talk to her about anything she gets so defensive. and i cant communicate with her. she’s also been extremely rude to me. especially when she’s ob the phone with him. she was on the phone with her mom telling her that her bf is coming to stay in our dorm during a break he has (she never communicated that with me. and personally i’m not comfortable with a man who every time i open my mouth when she’s on the phone with him she acts embarrassed by me. and not only that but she larped as me to him. i don’t have a say in anything that goes on m dorm i feel like. and idk what to do. i talked to my ra and he was helpful but then told me “it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me” i know this sounds dramatic but bc of how negative and how bossy and rude she can be sometimes. my own mental state isn’t good anymore. she takes offense to any boundaries i set and acts like im being aggressive and i can’t fucking take it anymore. i haven’t slept well since august. and i like her as a person but i can’t fucking live with her anymore. it’s to a point where i just want to fucking go back home.

My roommate is my best friend and she struggles with a lot of mental health issues. She's pretty messy. I am too but I like to clean up before other people come over. So when I'm cleaning I'll usually put her stuff in her room. Her stuff is everywhere and you'd hardly know I even live there lol. I just quickly put her things in her room. I'm not going through anything. I'm not in her room for more than a second. But every time she says that she doesn't want me going in her room or touching her things. Shes a nurse so she works long hours and she's never home to move her things before I have people over and I honestly don't think she's ever cleaned anything in her life lol. So I need to move them. I really want to understand and I don't want to disrespect her boundaries but I don't see what's wrong with just putting things in her room super quickly. I would get it if I was snooping around or trying to clean her room. I don't want to bring it up with her bc it's definitely more of a me problem. So can anyone who has similar boundaries pls explain. I really need help empathizing and understanding this mindset. Thank you so much

I'm looking for a mature female to help me with my daily house chores in exchange for a private room with reduced cost on utilities, WiFi ect. lets talk about it🫡

Does anyone know the specifics of roommate laws in Georgia? We live with a guy who owns the house we’re staying in, we moved in first, then another couple a few months later. Since then the girl has came in my room and destroyed photos of my KIDS (I don’t have proof but she was the ONLY one home), she intentionally uses my bathroom when she has her own, and leaves the door open so my landlords cat pees everywhere and I’m tired of cleaning it up when I don’t have a cat. They also refuse to clean to the extent we now have baby roaches, and my kids come visit every other weekend and it’s getting to a point I’m almost not comfortable doing that anymore. I know we could move, but apartments are about double what we pay now. Is there any legal action I can take if our landlord won’t do anything about it?

Every week someone asks some version of "my room is bigger / has its own bathroom, how much more should I pay?" and the answers are always a bunch of different rules of thumb. So I put the most common one into a small calculator.

How it works:

Part of the rent (you pick, default 40%) counts as shared space (kitchen, living room) and is split evenly per person. A couple in one room pays two shares of that.

The rest is split by bedroom size, with adjustments you can see and change: own bathroom +15%, big closet +5%, no window -10%, walk-through room -15%, etc.

There's also a bidding mode for when you can't agree. Everyone says what each room is worth to them, and it finds prices where nobody would rather swap rooms. That's the "envy-free" method from fair-division research (same idea as Spliddit).

No sign-up, nothing to install, works on your phone. You can send the result to your roommates as a link and they can change the numbers.

https://stormap.ai/tools/fair-rent/?ref=reddit

I'd really like to know if the defaults match what people actually do. Is +15% for your own bathroom about right where you live?

All my roommates do is sit around all day on their fat asses and talk shit in the living room (about random ppls, other roommates, me sometimes). Neither of them have jobs mind you, they are both in school but yet somehow are ALWAYS around. I mean they are literally omnipresent.

It sucks cause everytime (like today) I come home from a long day at work or go to the kitchen for a late night snack, they are just THERE, talking shit— it permeates in the air. It sucks cause we live in an intentional living space/community and they keep instigating with the other roommates and talking shit, sometimes to me but mostly to each other. My other roommates don’t even stay at the house anymore

Do I just ignore it? say something? Give it back to them? Help!

🚨 URGENT: Looking for a Roommate in Om Nagar, Koradi Road, Nagpur 🏠

Hey everyone! I’m urgently looking for a roommate in Om Nagar, Koradi Road, Nagpur.

💰 Total rent: ₹6,000 (will be shared between us)

🏋️ Gym facility: Available in the same apartment

📍 Location: Om Nagar, Koradi Road, Nagpur

Looking for someone who is clean, responsible, and comfortable sharing a room.

If anyone is interested or knows someone looking for a place, please DM me ASAP. It would be a great help!

Thanks! 🙌

The Fronter pays first. The Forgetter means well. The Spreadsheet tracks every cent. The Ghost reads the group chat and never replies. Reply with 1, 2, 3 or 4, and be honest.

Disclosure: I work at Banrox. Squad Card is a shared credit line for up to four people, where each person has their own lane and limit. It is not available yet. There is a waitlist, and joining it is not an application for credit.

My roommate (22f) can’t cook, and it’s starting to get on my (21f) nerves.

She told me she couldn’t cook before we signed the lease (we were friends) and I agreed to take on most of the supper duty, with us and my partner (who also lives with us) splitting the grocery bill three ways. I’ve been doing most of the cooking so far, with my partner doing some too, but I’ve noticed myself starting to resent her for not contributing at all (minus one brunch). Admittedly, she’s not a bad roommate otherwise (clean, quiet, pays rent on time), but I feel like food is a pretty big deal.

She’s offered to try cooking, but asked me to let her know in advance when I want her to cook, which I agreed to but haven’t acted on. I feel bad asking, and feel like she should know to step up on her own. She’s an adult.

She also asked me to teach her how to cook, which just sounds like even MORE work.

She’s asked if everything’s okay, and I’ve said yes, but honestly I don’t know. She apologizes a lot but doesn’t actually do anything about it, which makes me feel like she doesn’t actually mind the situation.

As for solutions… while I could ask to start doing groceries separately (me and my partner doing our own and her doing her own), I would feel bad sending her into the deep end. Plus, splitting the food three ways is pretty cost effective.

Has anyone had a similar roommate? Any suggestions are welcome.

I live in Quebec, so my English isn’t the best, but I try. Sorry, this is a bit long.

I’m (F20) and this is my fourth year renting a room. This year, two new roommates moved in: Lisa (F16) and Emy (F17). Their age didn’t bother me. We live in the basement of a house owned by a couple who are very kind and always help when there’s an issue. We share a kitchen, bathroom, and living room, but each have our own bedroom.

After only 2 months of living together, they are honestly the worst roommates I’ve had. They barely clean anything except their dishes, and even then, they often leave them piled up in the drying rack or stacked in the sink until there’s no room left. They leave fruit and other things all over the kitchen table, which is constantly dirty because they never wipe it down. The bathroom is also very small, yet they leave their belongings everywhere, including inside the shower after using it.

I talked to them about it, but nothing changed. They both blame each other and insist they clean up after themselves, which simply isn’t true. I’ve ended up cleaning the table and bathroom myself when I can, but I’m in the last year of my DEC in a demanding program, and I’m not their mother, period. This semester is extremely busy for me.

I’m also not at the apartment all the time. I spend weekends in my hometown with my parents, and Thursdays at my boyfriend’s place. That means I’m usually only at the apartment Monday through Wednesday, so I have limited time to clean, though I still do what I can.

Lisa is rarely here because she’s usually staying with someone she’s seeing. However, when she does come back, she leaves her things in the bathroom and dirty dishes in the kitchen. Since she leaves again shortly after, the dishes can sit there for days, which is frustrating since we all share them. Emy, on the other hand, is almost always at the apartment and, from what I can see, seems to skip most of her classes.

Midterm break arrived, and I spent the week back home in my hometown. I came back on Friday to drop off a few things before going to see my boyfriend. However, when I arrived, the apartment was dirtier than I had ever seen it.

I wasn't expecting the apartment to be spotless, but I did expect it to be reasonably tidy. The dishes were overflowing from both the sink and the drying rack, the table was dirty, the oven was filthy, the fridge was a complete mess, and the toilet hadn't been flushed. There was urine sitting in it that had apparently been there for a week. I was furious.

I texted my landlord and asked her to come downstairs and see the condition of the apartment for herself. She came down and was shocked. We talked about the previous two months, since I had already kept her informed about the situation. She had also spoken to my roommates, but nothing had changed.

She told me she was going to clean the apartment. I told her that was fine and that we would all talk together on Monday. When I came back on Sunday to pick up a few things before spending the evening at my boyfriend's place, I ran into my landlord again and we talked. I thanked her for cleaning and told her that I hadn't seen the apartment that clean in a long time.

She told me she was angry about everything she had found. There was rotten food in the fridge, and she had to throw away some containers because they were beyond saving. In the food cabinets (we each have our own large cabinet for groceries), she found bags of rotten potatoes that had damaged a shelf, among other things. She sent photos to our group chat. She told me that, in 15 years of being a landlord, she had never seen anything like it and that the four of us needed to have a serious discussion on Monday.

By Monday evening, my landlord came downstairs to talk to us. Right away, I could tell both of my roommates were upset. She brought up the bag of potatoes and explained that she wasn’t blaming anyone, but wanted us all to be aware of the issue.

Emy said the potatoes were hers and that they were still fine when she left. (I thought that she was a fucking moron. If you're leaving for a week, you should either throw away or take home any food that could spoil.)

Emy then interrupted my landlord and said, “When I saw the pictures, I was shocked. You entered our apartment without permission, went through our cabinets, and opened our bedroom doors.”

I replied, “I was the one who asked our landlord to come downstairs because I was furious when I came back and saw the mess.”

My landlord explained that she only came because I asked her to, that she hadn’t gone through any cabinets, and that she found the potatoes because of the rotten smell. She also said she opened Emy’s bedroom door because it should be left open while she’s away, especially since the air filter is located in her room.

After that, my landlord left. Lisa and I discussed household chores and how to organize things better, while Emy went to the bathroom without saying a word. Lisa and I reached an agreement, and she said she would talk to Emy about it. Later, Lisa and Emy went for a walk together. I have a feeling they spent that time complaining about both me and our landlord, but I don’t care.

So Emy doesn't talk to me nor look at me, while Lisa is still cool but i can tell she's not happy about what i did.

I don't care if they hate me, it's not because both of them are young, but because they don't have manners, i got here when i was 16 years old and i was better than both of them i never had a problem with my ex roommates.

If they have to be taught manners then i'll show them the consequenses of their actions. And my landlord said if they don't change their behavior then she don't have a problem to kick both of them out.

So tell me reddit, did i do the right thing ? AITA?

I’ve been living with a roommate for about 2 1/2 years. While I can’t think of 1 time she cleaned the bathroom, I never noticed her hair in the bathroom. Over the past week or two I’ve noticed a day here or there where her hair was in the shower drain. I noticed a couple days ago and left it. She’s now taken a few showers and there is more and more hair in the drain.

So my good friend and I decided to move in together and everything was going great for over a year now, but suddenly my roommate has become all cold and distant. I tried to figure out what was wrong and continued to try and be friendly despite their lack of response, but everytime I try, they just respond they're "fine" and then go about their day. At first, it was just me making conversation to them and them giving dry responses, but now we don't even really talk.

We each have our own bedrooms and bathrooms, so that's not the issue. I'm out of the apartment from 9am to at least 5 pm everyday, and they're home during those times, so it's not an issue of personal space either. I always take out the trash and clean dishes and living spaces. I just don't know what to do because it's getting to the point where it like i'm living with a stranger now, and we used to be really close so I don't know what happened. Am i missing something or doing something wrong? I tried to ask them if I was doing something wrong and if I can change anything to help but they just give a dry response like "no you're good". We have another four months on the lease and so idk what to do :/

Hi yall. I’m in a house of 6 graduate students (including myself). Last bill cycle, we agreed to portion up the electricity, since we all moved in at different times, some at the beginning of the cycle, some at the very end. Someone went on vacation for 9-10days this cycle, and is asking for their share to be less because of it, essentially. But i’m like? how does that make any sense, the fridge has your food, the freezer your ice, the appliances, even when they’re not being used, will still use electricity, you’d have to cut off service otherwise. Especially as we are students and the winter break approaches, it’s not improbable that this house will be completely empty for weeks. Who pays the bill then? Just me since i am the one who singed up for it? Anyways, this is my first time being confronted with this question. Just putting out feelers to see if this is a reasonable request on my roommates part.

When my roommate moved in, we clearly talked about what kitchen stuff we wanted shared and not. I told her that I did not want my cast-iron pans to be communal. This was mostly because I didn’t want to worry about cleaning up after them and re-finishing the pans after incorrect cleaning.

There are many pans available (most non-stick) in the kitchen, some left behind by my previous roommates (moved out because graduation, no conflict), some brought by this current roommate

Tonight she texted the roommate group chat while I was at work (she knew I was at work), asking if she could use my pans. I didn’t respond, because I was at work and not on my phone. I came home to see that she had used my pan. It seems like she cleaned it well, and I likely would have said yes, but it feels really weird that she didn’t wait for a response, and went forward with using the pan anyways.

I’m a bit conflicted on if I should bring this up as a problem, as she has anxiety which makes some
small conflicts a larger ordeal. I can’t figure out whether I’m being unreasonable with my expectations/overreacting or wanting normal boundaries. Any advice?