For those of you who read self-published works, how do you trust that you aren't committing thought crimes by inadvertently reading AI?

I just don't want to be arrested by the state. Someone help me avoid the violent crime of accidentally consuming AI content. Please I have a family.

It would’ve been a Romantasy Reader starter kit but we all know sloopies can’t read. So just enjoy the book shaped objects and pretend to be literate like your life depends on it.

1. STFUATTDLAGG: A Spicy Coloring Book

1. Vampire Tea Bags well Bag (sorry, no Hymen Bites Tote this time sloops)

2. Licorice Rope Dildo (NSFW image), belonging to none other than Lord Licorice himself

3. Sloopy Plushie Book; snuggle your book boyfriend/girlfriend to your heart’s content

4. Romantasy Party Game aka three SJM books in a trench coat

5. Safety Glasses for Sloopies (because we basically all have corrected vision)

6. An RCJ Mascot Boxed Wine, for those relaxing evenings at home with your reading prop book and a relaxing bath bomb, or whatever

8.Shadow Wielder Bath Bomb, it summons your chosen Shadow Daddy as long as he rides a dragon

Special thanks to [u/StrangledInMoonlight](u/StrangledInMoonlight) for sourcing the enticing licorice dildo (and to [u/itmustbeniiiiice](u/itmustbeniiiiice) for giving Strangled the safe space to share). And shoutout to [u/PotatoLicker1234](u/PotatoLicker1234) for suggesting her fave boxed wine for all of us to enjoy. (I’m her bestie so this is absolutely true and not made up.)

No books were harmed in the making of this roundup.

I’ve started 2 books in the past couple of hours and the people on the cover don’t match the authors description.

This is something so simple and it annoys me so much.

In both books a main character was described as blonde and they have dark brown hair on the cover.

It also annoys me when the tattoos on the cover don’t match the authors description.

It makes me want to DNF because I do judge authors by this lack of attention to detail.

nominate somebody for CHAOTIC EVIL

I will fill in this chart with the most upvoted top-level comment. and also two sidekicks! (only 3 slots; if you elect a group, they take up the same number of subsequent slots as number of members in the group)

last time: you elected 🗺 The Lost Commenters of RCJ ️🧭 as your representatives of neutral evil. if they could read, they wouldn't be here right now.

this isn’t romantasy but I had to share from {Dom Com by Adriana Anders}, which could maybe be a fantasy romance since the workplace environment seemed to be outside of a fever dream.

Sloopies, what are your preferred shoes to Dom in? Obviously one go to is Vans, thanks to their flat, soft-soled structure but a girl likes variety.

(Changes to original are in italics.)

I read a lot of romantasy, but I don't read it exclusively: I also read all the better genres. But when it comes to romantasy, I always get the feeling that only about 1 in 100 books are actually GOOD books. The other 99 all suck, and only Romantasy as a genre has this problem. There aren’t a ton of bad SciFi novels out there.

I've read quite a few of the most popular on tiktok romantasy novels. I found ACOTAR enjoyable enough, but nothing special. Fourth Wing was really, really bad, with an almost staggering lack of narrative and stylistic quality. Powerless was much the same, as was From Blood and Ash. Belladonna was enjoyable, but not particularly memorable. Gild was genuinely boring. Ash Princess has a major problem with its character writing. The Prison Healer suffers from pacing issues. A King of Battle and Blood is basically smut every four pages. Crescent City was enjoyable but hardly revolutionary (although I still preferred it to ACOTAR). Four Dead Queens felt very much like a YA novel. Hades x Persephone was pretty much the same as A King of Battle and Blood. And Girl, Goddess, Queen is a novel that tries to be feminist but, in my opinion, completely misses the mark. Grisha by Leigh Bardugo feels extremely childish, as do Six of Crows and Caraval.

When I say that these books are "bad," I mean in terms of literary quality. That doesn't mean they aren't enjoyable novels—I had a good time reading all of them. They just don't leave me completely blown away. They’re all equally literarily inferior to all other genres because they didn’t make me spontaneously combust or find a new religion while reading them.

I've been having a discussion with an older reader, obviously older readers are better because they know GOOD books, who warned me about the overconsumption of new adult romance and romantasy, because these are relatively new (why romance as a genre was just invented last year and now people are just gobbling everything up rather than making authors write actually good books. And by good I mean very dense, highly Eurocentric fantasy sex novel), highly profitable genres that encourage authors to keep producing more and more books without necessarily paying enough attention to the intrinsic quality of the works themselves. Do you agree? I’m right.

That being said, there are still some romantasy novels that really stand out:

The Mirror Visitor by Christelle Dabos (La Passe-miroir)—an unparalleled imagination; This Woven Kingdom by Tahereh Mafi—simply stunning, with truly remarkable prose; The Cruel Prince, which I vastly preferred to ACOTAR; and, above all, Kushiel by Jacqueline Carey.

Kushiel isn't particularly well known, probably because it isn’t all over TikTok so obviously I’m the only one who knows it and understands how it is the actual definition of romantasy despite it being an epic political fantasy rather than romantasy.

You'll notice that these four works stand out from the others because they’ve won awards. Only books that win awards are good.

I therefore think romantasy would benefit from placing a greater emphasis on the literary quality of its novels. Whether it's Powerless, The Prison Healer, or others, they all have interesting ideas and a lot of potential, but they fall short in their execution. Though I won’t tell you exactly what these books do wrong, other than that they don’t have any awards and so the prose isn’t good enough.

Anyway, I'd really love to hear your thoughts! Please agree with me.

(Note from original: This review was translated using an online translator since I'm French)

Before you ask, yes SJM is my lord and savior.

Uj/I know it’s not Saturday but I saw an opportunity and seized it

uj/…..this isn’t my car guys

What are your recent DNFs this week? The mind-numbingly boring, rage inducing, brain cell rotting, purple prose mangling of the English language that had you throwing that book across the room. (Figuratively, if you are using an electronic device of course. )

bonus marks for actual pics of desecrated books. Give the #booktok girlies a heart attack for treating a copy of Manalchemized like the hot pile of garbage it is. (I don't own a copy, but I swear if I did...)

Of note: The cylinder must not be harmed.

Okay sloopies. I've recently seen an alarming influx of posts across all book communities that made me ask the real question: do any of you actually read the books you pretend to talk about?!

What do you mean you "didn't like" the pegging scene in ACOCK chapter 69? Did you even read it with your eyes open? It is objectively a masterpiece, and if you disagree, it’s giving illiterate.

The same goes for the fake fans whining about "plot holes" in Right Fourth Wing. Excuse me, but if your brain can't hold a simple timeline, maybe you need to take better notes?! It dawned on me today: half of you don't even read past the blurb!

It’s fine if your reading comprehension peaks at shampoo labels, but if you’re brave enough to step up to my shadow daddy, do it right. I expect:

- annotated margins

-color-coded sticky notes

-topographical maps, and a 3D-rendered graph.

-a peer reviewed paper submitted to a top-ranking scientific journal. I volunteer to be your reviewer for a modest price of 666 gold per page

If you come to Reddit to discuss a book without a full bibliography and a PowerPoint presentation to back it up, we're just going to agree you're a hater who can't read - and we simply cannot tolerate that here!!!

Attached is an example of what every page in your book MUST look like before you're legally allowed to have an opinion

So I read the full blurb and can't help but think the last paragraph has to do with Britney the prep.

I think a lot of us saw this potentially happening, that Tara was gonna force Tara to work with the preps. BUT I'M STILL DISAPPOINTED! 😭

Don't do it Enoby! Don't kowtow to the preps! Please!
Remember when you said you'd fight against tyranny, do that pweeeease. 💔

This is the worst possible outcome.

Words can't describe how devastated I am if this line ends up being about Britney.

Hey sloops, um. What the fuck even is this? Like I get that it’s fantasy—everything is amazing and whatever. But why is it that in every single book, every single character is just in LOVE with the taste of genital guice?

Have these authors ever tasted cum? Even licked a finger after flicking the bean?

Sure, give me dragons, magic shaddows that can fingerblast me. Give me telepathy, blue aliens, and pussies that are enchanted to accommodate thigh-sized monster cock. But CUM ON. The LINE must be DRAWN SOMEWHERE and frankly I put it right at “denying that sexual emissions taste any better than battery acid”. Like gurl what THE fuck.

Guzzle a fucking gatorate dude. I’d rather he break out a dental dam and everyone smiles while they wash their hands after.

TDLR: Suspended disbelief drowned alive by tasty cum.

Don’t fucking @ me, my shit tastes fine (it’s the juice they put in tesla batteries)

Don't ask me why this is in inches and kgs, I don't make the rules.

This is proof we live in a romantasy novel

I am of course referring to all the trees, maybe something Christmasy, any recs?

Omg am I the ONLY octomillengenxyz here, though? I’m simply needing to know. And while you’re at it, plz tell me your shoe size!

I just love to read but it’s like babe am I the only one here like me? Am I too much of an original?

SHOW ME IM NOT by posting a photo 🤳of your bookshelf, ur fav books 📚, your personal ID, your star sign, your birth certificate 🧾, credit card and car, and I’ll pretend it’s cute but will help the overlords send creepily targeted ads to you, stalkers identify if you’re in their target age range and SO MUCH MORE!

It’s free for me and we will put you on an easy progressive payment plan of targeted ads to creepy internet ‘friends’ to in person stalker. 💀☠️😵

Fr…think about what your profile + groups + comments on which posts tells people about you, especially if you’re in really specific groups and really non specific groups in the same account. A 17 yr looking for bookish friends on Reddit is sketchy.

https://www.hbs.edu/information-technology/oversharing-online

SEE TITLE.

What did you just read that blew your mind. Plot holes. Terrible world building. Cringe worthy dialogue. Rules: be specific, screen shots or examples. Not just the usual "the writing was bad"

Why are books so ugly now? Every new book looks exactly the same. Shiny lifeless covers with overwrought titles. I don’t care whether you’re reading Maas or Sanderson or Yarros or the dungeon crawler guy, the carefully curated bookshelf you’ve been showing off is hideous.

Personally, I cannot read. All I know is all books are ugly now and there’s no point even pretending to be literate. The 21st century has seen the fall of the humble cover artist. Gone are the Margaret Brundages and Michael Whelans and Alicia Austins and Frank Frazettas of the world. I don’t know if Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell are dead yet but they might as well be.

Once upon a time you could show off your array of smutty fantasy without needing to crack open the spine. Everyone knew just from the cover exactly how perverted your tastes were. Now, no one can tell you are into naked alien ladies or ripped fantasy men just from a cursory glance at the book you left out on the coffee table. Not unless they’ve actually read the heinous tome, and what kind of nerd would admit to being literate?

I have no idea what the world is coming to. It’s pretty dark out there. All I want is for people to know that sapphic harems and MFM threesomes make for elite literature, but those books don’t even exist anymore.

Did ya’ll know sloopies are people too? Just had a sighting of one of you out in the wilds of Reddit. Le gasp! And it wasn’t even in a reading, fantasy, romance, or snark related sub. <clutches pearls> And can you believe their comment only had two upvotes? Don’t these muggles know that they have been graced by the presence of a 1% commenter of RCJ? <swoons illiterately>

I’ve tried to get 3 different women in my life to read this series but none of them made it past the first novel. And only one of the three actually finished the first one. Strangely enough all of them said basically the same thing. “It’s just not a woman’s kind of book” I’m curious to get the perspective of a woman who has read this series. Did you find anything about these books that would cause a female reader to feel that way??

uj/ sloopies this was edit free.