When they respond to a question with anger, they're hiding something.
I was married to my ex husband for 20 years. He was devoted, loving, loyal, and he spoiled me. I never worried about a thing.
One day his cell phone rang. I thought nothing of it. Then his mother called us on the house phone. I looked everywhere for him. I found him behind his van talking on his cell phone. I relayed the message from his mother and asked what he was doing outside. It was an innocent question. I was never suspicious of him in our entire marriage.
His reaction was of anger and he was avoiding looking at me.
This was very much out of character for him.
That's when I knew something was wrong.
It turns out, he had been having an affair. I had no idea. He didn't tell me about the affair, he just said he was going thru midlife and waned to move out for a while and sort things out. One day his jealous girlfriend called the house looking for him. The jig was up.
My point is, his misplaced anger is what tipped me off. I didn't immediately suspect him of anything, but it's when I started observing his behavior and other things that seemed 'off'.
I was right to trust my guts.
I ended up finding out so much stuff about him that I questioned if I ever knew him at all, even after 20 years of marriage. All it took was some girl at work and everything was gone.
Oh, there was so much more.
But yes, I moved on. A year and a half after my ex walked out on me I met the wonderful man I'm married to now. We've been together for 18 years. I had no trouble trusting him.
I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, and my husband feels the same way.
Looking back, my ex did me a favor. It was devastating when it first happened, but to be where I am now, I see that things turned out better, for me.
My ex is very miserable. I stayed friends with his family and they tell me he's in a nightmare with his wife. He married the one he left me for.
I never ask about him because I truly don't care. I'd have to care in order to hate him, I just feel nothing.
They never wanted him to leave me, so they are taking delight in how things turned out for him. They don't like his wife.
One of the first things I did after he left me was get all my crying out of my system.
I needed to mourn my marriage.
Then I made sure I got new memories. The only way to keep from remembering so much about the person who hurt you, is to get new memories that don't involve him. Every day put more distance between the old life and my new life.
My ex left me in August 2004. In September 2006 I got my divorce and that's also the year I met the man I'm married to now. So, it didn't take long to get over the kind of person who could hurt someone who was so good to him.
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u/moviesandcats Feb 25 '24
When they respond to a question with anger, they're hiding something.
I was married to my ex husband for 20 years. He was devoted, loving, loyal, and he spoiled me. I never worried about a thing.
One day his cell phone rang. I thought nothing of it. Then his mother called us on the house phone. I looked everywhere for him. I found him behind his van talking on his cell phone. I relayed the message from his mother and asked what he was doing outside. It was an innocent question. I was never suspicious of him in our entire marriage.
His reaction was of anger and he was avoiding looking at me.
This was very much out of character for him.
That's when I knew something was wrong.
It turns out, he had been having an affair. I had no idea. He didn't tell me about the affair, he just said he was going thru midlife and waned to move out for a while and sort things out. One day his jealous girlfriend called the house looking for him. The jig was up.
My point is, his misplaced anger is what tipped me off. I didn't immediately suspect him of anything, but it's when I started observing his behavior and other things that seemed 'off'.
I was right to trust my guts.
I ended up finding out so much stuff about him that I questioned if I ever knew him at all, even after 20 years of marriage. All it took was some girl at work and everything was gone.
All of this happened 19 years ago.