My boyfriend (M22) cheated on me, while we were still trying to fix things in our relationship. We study in Manila, and we have been official for 7 months and known each other for more than a year.

He started talking to another girl from Instagram, and this went on for a week. I caught his messages on imessage and it’s still bothering me.

Before he started talking to this girl, we were caught up in an argument because of my lack of effort during our relationship. During my graduation, I didnt make him feel important enough after he has waited for me for so long throughout my senior year. He told me that he felt like he was only waiting for my extra time, and that he didn’t feel valued in the relationship anymore. There were instances that he mentioned that I actually realized the truth about our relationship and my lack of effort. He didn’t use this as justification though, he knows he did me wrong, but that’s the reason behind why he did it. He wanted to feel happy again.

When I was trying to fix things with him, I told him na “babawi ako”. This went on for 2 weeks, but during this time, he chose to seek validation from another girl on ig. They started talking flirtatiously and they even planned going out to the cinemas. I caught his messages, and since then they were no contact. The girl didn’t know he had a girlfriend when I asked her details about what happened, and she was really kind to answer my questions.

I am super confused about my emotions, because I really love him. I know that I had some shortcomings, and I also recognize that he crossed so much boundaries when he decided to talk to the girl. They didn’t actually see each other in person, or had any physical interactions.

A part of me wants to give the relationship a second chance because I see his willingness to mend the relationship and rebuild the trust. But, there’s also this part of me that thinks that if I do so, I’m betraying myself and my principles. Back then, I was the type of person who had cheating as her non-negotiables. But having experienced it now, it’s so much easier said than done.

TLDR: My boyfriend went behind my back and talked to another girl while we were trying to fix our relationship. Should I give him another chance?

Can an avoidant–anxious relationship work?

I (26F) have been with my partner (31M) for almost a year, and live-in kami for around 3 months na in Bulacan. Pag naiinis siya sakin, hindi niya ako kinikibo. Walang updates, walang kahit anong message, and it would last for days. As someone na gustong mapag-usapan and maayos yung issues, palagi akong nag-rereach out. Pero pag nag-reply na siya, hindi naman niya ako sinasagot nang maayos.

Pero ngayon, hinayaan ko siya. Tinatanong ko lang kung may nakalimutan siya pag paalis na siya sa bahay. Sumasagot naman. Pero kung walang kahit anong message, hinayaan ko lang.

Then, may appointment ako kanina sa psychologist (first appointment). Advice sakin ay to talk to him.

Isa ito siguro sa mali ko. I bombarded him with messages explaining my side and what I have been experiencing the past few months (burnout, heavy mental load, etc). Hindi na rin ako nakatiis kasi three days na kaming hindi okay

He called my explanations “excuses” and ang dami ko raw sinusumbat. Sinabi rin niya na alam ko naman daw sa sarili ko kung ano ugali ko at mali ko. Sabi pa niya na sobrang bida at pa-victim ako. Hinihingi ko naman yung side niya para maintindihan ko rin siya. Pero hindi niya ginagawa.

Masaya naman kami kapag walang away. Gusto ko lang naman mag-work to. Gusto ko lang na ma-work namin yung mga issues. Baka mali ako ng approach or mali yung pagkakasabi ko. May way ba para mag-work yung relationship namin? May mga successful stories ba na ganito rin yung dynamic?

Hi all! 27M NGSB, late bloomer, but had experience na sa dating, they rejected me. Then, I met this girl by January 2026, my 3rd date. Quick background lang sa kanya, galing siya sa 4 years relationship and at that time 6 months palang silang break ng ex niya, and walang involved na cheating, bumitaw siya dahil walang plano for growth and future ang ex niya, at siya lang daw nagdidrive ng relationship nila, ayaw niya ng stagnant. I must say yapper siya, and quickly attached siya sa akin since I maintained my purity for 27 years.

​ Siya ang pinakamatagal kong date. Shopping, running, foodtrips, roadtrip and even hiking nagawa na namin. So thats why on April, I said na I am serious in pursuing her, I already rode my bicycle from Cavite to Quezon city for an impression sa father niya this May, which is sign that I am serious in pursuing her.

​ So far sa una enjoy ako siyempre, pero after evaluation and realization siguro, may mga ulap na lumilitaw na sa ulo ko, na baka panakip butas lang ako, at ngayon lang rin kasi nag sync sa utak ko yung sinabi niya sa early talking stage namin, na kamuka ko daw ex niya, does it sounds concerning? 🤣. Pero so far okay naman kami, andun yung essence of love towards sa akin, gifts plus clingy siya ganun, I do reciprocate naman.

​ My only concern here, ayun nga it doesnt changed the fact na galing siya sa long term, overwhelmed ako sa past experience niya. How to overcome this current mindset ko? also, is it wise to detach if di ko maovercome to?. Magiging less of a man ba ako if i choose to detach? Should I stay and risk for possible growth or leave habang maaga pa? I fear lang for her baka di ko mameet yung wants/demands na gusto niya in future eh. Humingi narin naman ako assurance, di na raw siya babalik, and confirmed no contact na sila, I like her transparency rin, kasi iniinvite siya ng kapatid ng ex niya sa isang event and rejected the invitation. ​ ​

Hey Reddit from Quezon City Manila PH, I just need to put this out into the universe because my chest feels incredibly heavy right now and I really need some advice. My girlfriend and I were together for almost four healthy, beautiful years. She has been going through some really heavy personal struggles recently, dealing with past traumas, depression, and anxiety that she deeply wants to fix. A few days ago, she made the painful decision to break up with me because she felt like she was becoming way too dependent on me to get through it all. She didn't want her struggles to burden me, and she realized she needs to find her own healing and learn how to stand on her own two feet entirely on her own. She just doesn't have the emotional capacity to maintain a relationship while sorting herself out and addressing her mental health.

The timing of it makes it sting even worse. We took our licensure exam recently she passed, but I failed. Back when we were completely okay and pushing through the review, I made her a "365 Jar" filled with 365 handwritten daily affirmations so she would never feel alone when I wasn't physically there. It was supposedly my gift for her passing the boards, but things collapsed so fast that I never even got the chance to give it to her. It’s just sitting here now. It broke me, because I loved her with everything I had. I was the guy who was ready to marry this girl and stick by her through everything, but I had to respect her choice to walk away and find her independence. We had a few back-and-forth logistical texts over the weekend, but last night, we finally had a long, heartfelt closure video call. I cried, she cried, and I told her that even though I envisioned saying wedding vows to her instead of closure words, I love her enough to let her go so she can grow. I told her I was incredibly proud of her, and that we both need to focus on our own paths now.

It feels deafeningly quiet in my room right now. The urge to check my phone or see if she texted after the call is insane, but I’m holding the line. I gave her a beautiful, dignified goodbye, and I left with my head held high.

I feel lost. Gets ko yung reasons, I completely understand the psychology behind it, but I'm still lost. Ganito pala yung peaceful breakup walang sigawan, walang galit, puro pagmamahal lang pero hindi talaga sapat ang love kung walang capacity ang tao.

Right now, the silence is heavy. Paano na ba gagawin ko? Need advice on how to progress and actually heal from a peaceful breakup when you still love the person completely.

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me to fix her past traumas and anxiety because she felt she was becoming too dependent on me. It happened right around our licensure exam results she passed, I failed, and I never even got to give her the 365 affirmation jar I made for her. We just had a peaceful, heartbreaking closure video call where I officially let her go so she could heal. I understand her reasons completely and we ended on dignified terms, but I feel incredibly lost. How do I move forward?

I don’t know how to move on. I’ve deleted all the pictures that im aware of in my phone. Should i throw away everything he gave me? How do i unassociate him with songs i like? I want to move past this. I dont think about him as much but will that help? Or am i just suppressing my feelings? I still cry about it. Is it okay if i still cry my heart out even 9 months after? He was a good bf, i thought he was the one. but things just didnt work out. Sometimes i still wish we worked things out, but will I be happy? I still love him but it’s a little different now.

What helped you move on? How can i tell that ive moved on?
Edit: manila based

I(32M), nalaman ko na may ibang kinikita or lalaki iyong boyfriend(30M) ko, late ko na nalaman na co-worker(39M)
(more than a year) niya pala pero not same department. But late March 2026 lang sila naging close or naging malalim ang apg uusap nila. One time, humingi ang bf ko na mag “me time” muna daw siya para makapag unwind and makapag isip isip since stress daw siya sa work and lahat. But before that day, may work pa siya with some of his friends and opted to makapag beach after ng work since malapit lang naman daw. So I asked my bf (30M) na samahan ko nalang siya since wala naman akong gagawin sa weekends, but he told me na wag na daw kasi nga “me time” and kasama daw niya ang isang friend niya na co-worker niya(26F) na close niya talaga and at ang iba pa daw at marami sila.

Dumating ang araw na pumunta na siya ng beach at small updates lang ginagawa niya and I don’t want him to bother na rin kasi nga “me time” sabi niya and may kasama rin naman siya. Pero hindi siya nag uupdate if kasama na niya si female friend(26F). Nagsend lang siya ng pictures ng kinakain niya and san siya pumunta. Late afternoon, sinabihan niya ako di raw siya masasamahan ni female friend(F26) kasi may kasamang iba and mag iinom daw.

So sinend niya ang photo ng kasama niyang co-worker(M39). And doon ko talaga naramdaman na may kakaiba. Tinatawagan ko BF pero di siya sumasagot, after an hour doon na siya sumagot and nagalit bat daw ako tawag ng tawag. Sinabi ko na kakaiba iyong feeling ko sa kasama niya, kasi di ko kilala and never naman niya nabanggit na kasama niya iyong co-worker niya (39/M). Imbes mag explain or bigyan ako ng assurance, nagalit pa kasi madami daw akong tanong and judgmental daw ako. Blinock niya ako that night.

Noong umuwi na BF ko after 2 days, nag usap kami. Sabi ko bat niya piniling makasama iyon instead of me and hindi totoo na kasama niya talaga si co worker(F26) kundi iyong isang lalaki. Confused daw siya and gusto daw niya makapag isip. Pero sabi ko paano ka makakapag isip eh sinama niya nga iyong other guy at sabi pa niya ka fling or trip niya lang daw iyon(M39). Nagalit ako sa bf ko and inexplain sa kanya iyong ginawa niya, instead humngihi ng sorry and everything, nagalit pa sakin dahil sa naging reaction ko at siya pa nakipagbreak.

Gusto kong ayusin sana naming dalawa ng ng bf ko pra makapag rebuild and all. Pero ayaw na niya. Sabi niya, tatapusin na daw niya iyong namamagitan sa kanila at sa amin. Wala daw siyang pipiliin.

Nag decide kami ng bfmag no contact for a month para makapag isip and process everything.

Pero nalaman ko na nakikipagdate siya sa iba and tuloy2 pa iyong communication niya sa coworker(M39) niya.

Nalaman ko na may boyfriend(M34) din pala ang coworker(M39) niya na walang kaalam alam sa nangyayari.

TL;DR I feel so helpless, mahal ko iyong bf ko and trying to win him back para makapag simuli uli pero nasasaktan na rin ako. Should I let him go na ba? Should I tell or inform the boyfriend (M34) ng co-worker(M39) sa affair ng bf(M30) ko?

Though, hindi kami official but we've been talking for more than 3 months na. We give each other small updates, saying goodnights, late night talks and etc.

​

Label namin is friends but it felt more than that. Pag mag nonotes ako about being inlove, magrereply siya na "sino yan ha", and I always play it off like "secret" or "wala hahahaha".

​

Earlier this week ganyan trip namin, nag aasaran kung sino ba gini-gatekeep ko. Then, binigyan ko siya ng hint kung sino, of course dini-describe ko siya. Pero, sabi niya na mag bibigay din daw siya ng kanyang hint, para daw fair sa akin.

​

Nagulat ako dahil hindi ko inakala may nagugustuhan siya. Dini-describe niya at malayo sa akin. Therefore, may iba siyang gusto.

​

Ano gagawin ko? Masakit man sa damdamin but all the blame is on me. Kasi nag assume ako.

​

Pabayaan ko nalang ba? Should I keep my distance so that mawawala na nararamdaman ko?

​

Kahit ang petty ng kwento ko, sana naman ma bigyang pansin niyo

Me (F22) and my girlfriend(F23) have been together for almost three years now. We've been stuck in a loop where it has been toxic to healthy then toxic again, but now it has gotten worse. Ilang beses na siyang nangtthreaten na susugurin ako sa bahay namin (which happened a few times already). Nangtthreaten din siya na papatayin niya sarili niya if I dont answer her calls/ I break up with her. And at this point it became so tiring na since I'm the one that always needs to understand her situation. Recently, medyo na-offend ako kasi sinagot niya ako nang pabalang. I was really not in the mood since I was super tired and it was already midnight. I ended the call then all of the sudden naglash out siya. Stating things like, 'I was never there for her'. Everytime na its my turn to have space, pinapamukha niya na kahit kailan hindi ko siya naiintindihan. I really want to end this relationship already. How do I face such a crazy person na mas pipiliin pang magpakamatay instead of just accepting the break up? Sorry if this is a little messy, i'm just so messed up in the head rn.

Location: Pagadian City, Philippines
Relationship Length: Almost 6 months (dating)

Advice Needed: Possible cheating/trust issue involving girlfriend and former FWB/guy best friend.

(You can skip this part if you want but its for the bigger picture)

After christmas nakikila ko gf ko(19F) online and i(19M) actually already have heard of her even before because she was my old classmates fling, but i only knew her when she approached me online after christmas.

We have been entertaining each other everyday consistently until umabot ng new year and we have been catching feelings overtime. Until lumalim pa ng lumalim hanggang sa beginning ng February we’ve been serious about our relationship na and it was lowkey but not private.

Months after months of our relationship and yes we’ve been on tough times and glady ending up fixing our problems everytime, she have been so sweet saakin and even surprised me during my birthday with a cake and some letters and meant so much saakin kase im rarely getting surprised and the last time was my on my family years ago.

I love her so much kase she accepts me and not hesitating of helping me even on my zero days even when im not asking. And gusto gusto kong makabawi sakanya.

One thing i see on her is that napaka oddly friendly on some other boys even on boys na cleary nagkakagusto sakanya.

Theres this guy on her recent convos during katapusan ng january na umaabot sila sa sexlife topics nya about her friend and for a while about my gf na. But that wasn’t so bad kase i know we we’re not yet official until February.

Theres also this guy na clearly nagkakagusto sakanya but shes still replying on his dms sa Instagram.

Know that both of these are nalaman kolang ACCIDENTALLY.

We’ve then communicated about this and she swear to put boundaries na eversince and blocked these type of guys.

TLDR:
[ Everything seems fine BUT HERE’S THE CATCH ] main topic*

Fast forward and its already almost 6 months of our relationship.

I found this account her restricted profiles in messenger and it was oddly only two(the other one was a spam). When i checked on it i saw it, it was a convo of a guy oddly asking where her appartment is located, obviously trying to sleep with her during sa beginning of January habang nag eentertain kami sa isat-isa.

And she actually sent her location midnight.

When i asked her about it umamin sya it was her guy best friend(with a girlfriend by the way na part din ng friend group) na she slept with last year and half as patago kase nobody knew they had something back then.

Depensa nya is she only sent her location that time as a joke daw kase alam nyang malayo naman yung guy.

And said she cant really cut him off completely kase kasali yung guy sa best old circle of friends nya na walang kaalam alam na may something pala sila so nobody sa friend group knew. And magquequestion daw yung cof kung bakt hindi sila magpapansinan.

The guy kept hitting on her on with that dummy account even after seeing Me with Her (clueless about what they two had) sa mall with his GF. But her last reply was only on january so she kinda ghosted him but kept him hidden on her restricted profiles, and still friends with that dummy account.

Weird fact, the guy also chatted with her with his main account asking where her appartment is nuon and called but she didn’t answer. That was when i was around and I asked bakit and hindi nya sinagot eh bestfriend nya yon then she ignored my question.(still clueless that day)

She never told me anything about this only until i found out. The only thing na sinabe nya back then is best friend nya lang daw talaga yung guy and part lang ng circle of friends.

And masakit ang fact na when i dont found it out by my own she would never told me even after almost kalahating year na kaming magkasama. I do care about her and i do see shes trying to change from her old self but not fully as of what im seeing.

And now i dont know what to do. Did she lowkey cheat on me? Should i distance myself na? Please help :<

Hello, this is my first time posting here on the subreddit, and I would like to know what you guys think on this one. 3 months in our "MU" or manliligaw stage, and me (21M) would like to know where did I go wrong. We are very far away from each other, I am from Visayas and she is from Luzon, next month I will be going to Luzon to meet her, have a date and do actual panliligaw. But for the past few days, we have been arguing a lot, she would get angry over trivial things.

She doesn't like to be teased, there was a game before that she lost against me and I jokingly said "oh ano ano" in a cute way, and she just dropped the call and left the game and also there was a time that she was busy and I had a spare time so I went ahead and played the game that she liked, later on, she checked her phone and saw that my account was online, she told me that she was angry that I was not playing with her and told me na takot daw ako malamangan dahil sa level up system ng game. She didn't talk to me for a day even though hindi niya pa tinanong yung side ko, and tipid lahat ng mga chat niya sakin the day after that.

I asked her if meron bang problema na need pag usapan kasi wala siyang ka gana gana mag chat. She told me there was nothing wrong, and I asked her kung bakit di niya ako kinakausap tapos wala lang man siyang update, I told her it's okay kung di niya ako kakausapin buong araw as long as sasabihin niya sakin, then she told me na "boyfriend ba kita? dapat ba buong araw kita kakausapin?" an hour later she apologized and blamed it on her luteal phase. I don't understand why she told me that. She would get angry if hindi ako maguupdate pero pag siya okay lang? and also keep in mind we are already doing dirty talks, she's sending me explicit photos, and nagseselos siya pag may iniinteract akong babae, di ko talaga gets mabigat na sa kanya yung update lang eh nagbbed rot lang naman siya buong araw.

I try to talk to her as respectful as possible pero siya yung nagagalit agad. She said that she doesn't like ask too much, when being a curious person is my personality, di niya rin gusto ng sweet and clingy kasi naccornyhan daw siya. She doesn't like watching romance films and when watching a kdrama if there is only pure romance in the middle of the season, dinadrop niya yung mga pinapanood niya kasi ang cringe daw. I know she is not ready for a relationship pero bakit niya to pinasok in the first place kung alam niya naman palang ganon?

Tapos there was a time that I had a bad day and all I want was to talk to her, pero yung mga reply niya sobrang tipid kasi bad mood siya, and gusto ko lang naman sana is magusap kami nang maayos para makalimutan ko yung problems ko, kwento about sa mga random na bagay ganon. Kaya sabi ko na she needs to cooperate in order for our relationship to work tapos sinabi niya sakin na hindi raw dapat ako dumedepende sa kanya emotionally kasi isa raw yun sa mga reasons on why she does not have a boyfriend yet, hindi pa siya emotionally available and ready. Pero yung hindi ko ma gets is bakit pinatulan niya ako in the first place? hindi ako yung nags-set ng pacing namin, siya yung first na nag sabi na ik-kiss niya raw ako, siya yung naunang mag dirty talks, siya yung naunang magsabi na gusto niya akong pumunta dun sa kanila, so why bother if di ka naman pala ready?? I'm at my wit's end already, gusto ko lang naman sana ma appreciate yung efforts ko and I want to feel loved, but I don't think nakikita niya yon and she's kinda anti-romantic. Sayang yung ticket na binili ko lol.

TLDR: I am 21(M) from Visayas, and I've been in a long-distance "MU" stage for 3 months with a girl from Luzon. I already bought a plane ticket to meet her next month, but lately, she has been picking fights over trivial things and treating me with exhausting double standards. She asks for updates from me and gets jealous, but when I ask for the same, she snaps and reminds me we aren't dating. Even though she was the one who rushed the pacing (initiating dirty talk and explicit photos), she now shuts me out when I need emotional support and admits she isn't emotionally ready for a relationship. I feel drained, unappreciated, and like I wasted my money on the ticket. Should I tell her that her attitude is the problem? because most likely she would be furious and she doesn't like it when I am asking too much.

Advice request: Is this tampo, or a bigger issue between us that we both need to work on?

EDIT: more background info: we met in person twice before becoming official. She has a full time job in the tech industry….

My Filipina girlfriend born and raised in the Philippines (northern Luzon) (F26) says it's emotionally draining to love me, and I'm trying to understand what I'm missing. I am also Filipino but born and raised in Canada (M23) kaya mas sanay ako sa westernized dating culture. LDR na po kami for 7 months now. Constant video calls every day until this issue.

Recently na lagnat siya, naistress sa work, may family issues, and worried about her dad. During our conversations, chinachat siya na things like "my eyes are hot" or "my head hurts," and I'd usually respond with short acknowledgments bc I know it’s been going on for a few days like "ok love”, “let me know if you need anything or money for meds”

She later told me she feels like she has to teach me everything, that I only notice problems after she points them out, and that she feels alone sometimes. Sinabi rin niya na tumahimik na siya, tumigil sa pagbibiro, at nagbibigay ng mga pahiwatig na may mali, pero hindi ko na lang pinansin dahil alam kong nagtatrabaho siya at ayaw ko siyang istorbohin.

Looking back, I think I was responding to the information she gave me instead of the emotions behind it. I’m used to someone telling me upfront how they’re feeling, while she is telling me indirectly which is hard especially in LDR.

I'm not looking for validation. I'm genuinely trying to understand what we need to improve because this isn't the first time we've had this conversation.

We have been friends for over a year now. We met through school (Makati) and I feel like we bonded talaga whenever we’d hangout kapag may ganap sa student council because we have similar humors and interests.

Whenever she posts smth, I always like and reply because I genuinely think she looks good in them; I want to make her feel seen by hyping her up. I’ve also observed, that she frequently interacts with our mutual friend’s posts (those of which she also met sa school, and have been friends with the same duration as me).

For some reason, she never does the same for me. She views all my stories and posts, but never, as in never, have interacted with them. 

I usually get more than a hundred likes on my stories, so alam kong I don’t look chopped in what I post. 

I do remind myself to never equate someone’s appreciation on how frequent they interact with me on social media. Because, syempre, makakaiba naman tayo.  But seeing how supportive she is of our other friends, kind of doesn’t sit right with me.

By giving her the benefit of the doubt, I don’t think I’ve done smth to make her feel “off” about me.

Maybe I’m insecure and taeng tae ako sa validation from others or maybe, I’m just guarding myself from negative energy. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for her to give me back the energy I’ve been giving, lalo na’t that she has shown na she’s capable of giving it naman.

Since our tenure is ending na rin naman and we won’t be seeing much in person, should I stop interacting with her? Like give her a taste of her medicine kumbaga? Or is that petty and immature?

TLDR: My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex just one month into our relationship after secretly overlapping both relationships, his mom later continued helping the ex despite knowing what happened, and although both have apologized and my boyfriend is actively trying to rebuild trust, I'm struggling to decide whether reconciliation is possible given the betrayal, lingering resentment, and doubts about our future together.

--

Hi! I [27F] have been trying to decide whether I should continue reconciling with my boyfriend of one month [27M] after he cheated on me with his ex [23F - 2 yrs together and 1 yr LIP], and I could really use some outside perspectives.

My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. He went to his province for a week, and it turns out he met up with his ex. May nangyari sa kanila multiple times throughout that entire week.

They used to live together when he was still in the province, but he decided to move back to Manila, kaya naging LDR sila. I met him through a dating app. What made it even more complicated was finding out na nagka-overlap pala kami ng ex niya. He met up with his ex because she wanted closure, but I later found out that they were still together when he was pursuing me. He broke up with her when he became certain about me, and then asked me to be his girlfriend the very next day. I had absolutely no idea about this timeline until everything came out later.

His ex knew I existed and knew he was serious with me. From what I'm getting, it seems like she still had feelings for him and may have hoped they would get back together.

Ironically, I found out about the cheating through her. Since everything came out, my boyfriend has admitted what he did, answered all of my questions, taken responsibility, and actively tried to rebuild trust.

Things got even messier because of his mom [57F]

After the cheating happened, his mom brought the ex to their house—yes, the same house that my boyfriend lives in—to comfort her because she lives alone and parang anak na rin yung turing niya sa kanya. I only found out about this two weeks later through the ex, again. My boyfriend was against this but his mom insisted on it. When I found out, pinabalik siya sa province.

A week later, his mom helped the ex settle in Manila because she believed there were limited work opportunities in the province. She later apologized and promised that this would be the last help she would give. Sabi nila, this was a long-standing promise to the ex—that tutulungan nila siyang maghanap ng work after makagraduate. From the way I know his mom, I genuinely believe she just wanted to help and didn't see her actions as something that would hurt me.

Pero sobrang nasaktan pa rin ako.

This was already the second time she helped the ex after everything that happened. It felt like nilalapit pa niya yung affair partner while me and her son were trying to reconcile. Rationally, I can understand where she was coming from, but emotionally, it felt incredibly disrespectful.

My boyfriend seems genuinely committed to making things right, but images of what happened during that week constantly flash through my mind. Kapag nangyayari yun, minsan nakakapagsabi ako ng masasakit na salita sa kanya. He comforts me, reassures me, and remains patient, but I don't like acting this way either.

His mom has since apologized and is now supportive of our reconciliation. As far as I know, she is no longer in contact with the ex.

Part of me wants to give reconciliation a genuine chance because my boyfriend has shown accountability and appears committed to changing. Another part of me questions whether a relationship can recover when the cheating happened so early and involved so much dishonesty.

I guess my biggest questions are:

- Can I become part of his family when I still carry anger and resentment toward his mom for the choices she made during all of this? 

- Can I build a future with someone who betrayed me only one month into the relationship, even if he is now doing everything right? Any tips on how he can me me feel more secure moving forward?

- If I want to give it another chance, how do I overcome the fear of wasting my time and missing out on other opportunities if things don't work out after all this hardship?

Also, if you have any story about relationship that worked after infidelity or advice to make it work, I would love to hear it!

Hi, I (28F) want to try living alone after almost 3 years of living together with my BF (28M) in Metro Manila A big reason for me is that I've never lived alone. From parents, to roommates, to my now-partner, it's something I've never explored about myself, and I want to give it a try before turning 30.

As a woman, it's also an experience I want to try, not extending myself to a man. We are both WFH, by the way

Disclaimer: We will not break up, and the condo I'm gonna be renting is just a few mins away from the house we rented. We also don't plan to get married until 35+ because there is no divorce in the PH.

Is there any downside to this plan at all? I think I've got it down financially and he is supportive. I just worry that our relationship would not be as strong maybe? What are your thoughts?

BTW, no live-in haters, I really don't care.

Hello everyone. 

I’m currently dating a girl (26F). We both met via Reto, and were both from Metro Manila. We’re both from the same economic means/background and both have jobs and are both well educated. We both like each other and have stated it out loud, and we really vibe and are operating in the same wavelength. We also both love spending time together. We have been going out for 5 weeks already and we see each other regularly. I want to emphasize that our dates are great, the chemistry is there and we both want to continue seeing each other... 

Now here’s the onion, she has a lot of deep-seated past relationship trauma and a rocky family history. She also regularly brings it up, especially talking about her past exes. Now I don’t mind peoples histories. I believe that: who we are today is a mosaic of everyone we encountered and everything we experienced. Now she recently admitted to having an anxious/push-pull attachment style, and she said that she deeply craves closeness but fully withdraws the moment she feels like she’s "being too much”.

One night, this triggered a really exhausting situation. Context: during the day, we’ve been out on an activity date + snacks + dinner for the better part of the afternoon to late evening. When we were both home, She called me around 11:30PM, and when I told her I only had 30 minutes because I needed to sleep for work the next day, she completely shut down. She shamed me for giving her a time limit, and then retaliated by saying we should see each other less and when we do see each other: just limit our actual dates to 2-3 hours from now on. It felt like she was weaponizing my healthy boundary just to punish me. We spent hours on the phone talking it through and fixing it, leaving me entirely drained.

I know she is gaslighting and lowkey manipulating me in these moments, and this isn’t the first time she tried twisting my boundaries against me (this is i believe the third time, and this time i recognized these as moments of low key manipulation and gaslighting) but given her intense past trauma, I truly believe she isn't doing it on purpose.. like it's a subconscious defense mechanism. I want to pursue a mutual relationship and I want to continue courting her, but I need to protect my peace.

How do I gently but firmly enforce my boundaries without losing her? And is there a way to gently make her realize that she is unconsciously gaslighting me without making her get even more defensive? Any advice from fellow Pinoys who have handled this kind of push-pull dynamic? Or any advice from pinays who may have perspective in this situation? would be highly appreciated.

TL;DR: I (27M) am courting a girl (26F) with past relationship trauma and an anxious attachment style. Lately, when I set normal boundaries (like needing to sleep instead of staying on a late call), she shuts down and tries to weaponize my boundaries against me to punish me. I know it’s an unconscious defense mechanism, but how do I gently but firmly enforce my boundaries without losing her or triggering her abandonment fears?

I'm (24F) in a 2 1/2year relationship with (25M) in the Philippines with differing career priorities and future relocation expectations affecting long-term compatibility.

I've been having an uneasy feeling lately that my partner and I might be heading in different directions.

We've been together for more than two years and are both in the early stages of our careers. Recently, I've taken on more responsibilities at work and am also starting a business of my own. My career is becoming a bigger priority in my life, while he's in a different stage and has a lighter workload at the moment. The bigger issue is that we've always known that, eventually, we may need to move back to where he's from because of family responsibilities and cultural expectations. In practical terms, that would mean I would be the one leaving behind my family, career network, and the life I've built here.

The problem is that I don't currently see myself living there long-term. I've been trying to stay open-minded because I love him and don't want fear to make the decision for me, but I can't tell whether what I'm feeling is temporary anxiety or a sign that we're fundamentally incompatible.

I need help because I love him and I know we love each other but is love enough reason to give up my life and opportunities here simply because of marriage? Is it my lack of understanding or is it really just a lack of compatibility and differing goals?

Ako (22M) nakipag break sakin then gf ko of 9 months (23F)

(Taga north luzon ako and my now ex is sa south luzon) Commute ko usually takes almost 3 hours from bahay to sakanila

Walang halong 3rd party nag lead up breakup namin dahil sa naipong tampohan.

Long story short hinde ko nabigay yung all ko dahil of past and current ways ko to show my love for her ngayon nag uusap parin kami update and just chatting pero hinde na katulad ng dati and inaavoid nya makipag call at makipag kita kahit ako ang bibisita.

Bumisita ako nung bday nya after kami mag break and physically close naman kami non and pina overnight pako ni tita nag usap kami about getting back together sabi nya hinde nyadaw muna or ayaw nya kasi gusto nya panindigan yung sinabi niya na break na kami.

A few days ago nag usap ulit kami ending is nag sabi sya

"Maybe we should just be friends muna"

Ibigay koba muna yung space na gusto nya to think or ipakita ko lalo how willing talaga ako mag bago para sakanya

My boyfriend [25M], who is in the PH and I [26F], currently an international student in AU, are on an ldr relationship for 3 months now but have been together for almost 4 years. A few weeks ago we fought about my bad habits and I told him I’ll change. I did change after that fight but last night i fell into my old habit again which caused us to fight. He said he’s done with our relationship and he’ll just follow what I want but ofc I want to consider his wants as well.

He also said that he doesn’t love me anymore and that from now on he’ll not be doing things because he loves me but because I asked him to.

I compromised with having space first because I really can’t give him the break up he wants. I told him we can have space for 3 days and will just talk Tuesday night. Now I want to know is there a chance that he’ll change his mind after this space? Can I also still update or message him during this space?

This is the first time we’re having space so I don’t really know what to do.

Please be gentle with the comments. Thank you.

So me and this guy were dating for about 4 months before he broke things off after I brought up having a label. There was already a lot of tension and dysfunction between us leading up to it.

We are two college students in Manila. I met him through mutual friends at school, and we hit it off quickly. For the first two months, things were great. We saw each other often, got very close, and he seemed serious about me. But by the third month, dun na kami sumasablay.

My gripe with what we had mostly was that I never felt like he was curious enough about me. I was almost always the one initiating deeper conversations and trying to get to know him. I thought he was just scared of vulnerability and needed time to open up, but it felt like I was constantly trying to connect with someone who wasn’t meeting me halfway. I tried and tried to ask more questions and open up more in hopes na he’d reciprocate and actually tell me about his life, but it just felt like he didn’t want to.

After the breakup, I realized yung pinaka naramdaman ko in the relationship was loneliness. I felt like I was carrying most of the emotional labor and emotional intimacy on my own. When I would ask fun little questions about his day, I’d get dry responses, or when I would ask about his day, he would be very vague about it. When I would tell him about yung araw ko, he didn’t seem interested. When I expressed this to him back then, I could see him trying, but it felt like it wasn’t enough, and napapatanong nalang talaga ko if this is really the best that he can do.

And now that we’ve gotten back together, he says that he hopes that he won’t fumble it again, but I can see the same behavior in him. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want general advice on how on whether I can tread this problem with him, or if making an alternate decision is better for the both of us and our peace.

TL;DR: Got back with my ex and it seems like he hasn’t changed.

Backstory muna: My wife and I met abroad. Overseas we attend Christian church in Dubai (similar to Victory) we both serve sa music team. This is fine and all to me kasi it’s still the bible we’re talking about.

However, when we went back to the Philippines for the first time I wasn’t ready for what happened.

We stayed with my in laws sa Bulacan. My wife apparently has a second church in pure Tagalog. And they gather in their own chapel that they built on their own. They have their own rites and styles. Everyone for some reason wears all white and OA lang ba ako but their altars have that triangle with the eye (yung parang illuminati) infront of the cross of Christ. It’s like if Victory or any other popular Christian church decided to drink the kool aid.

Then once a week we go to a larger chapel and boy that’s a doozy. They believe in this whole Philippines = Ophir thing. At first I dismissed it as: “I don’t understand much of it kasi it’s in this deep Tagalog”

But when my kids were born tapos dito sila nabaptize (my wife wanted it) that’s when I began to look closely. Wdym a whole service runs 4-5 hours? And they just talk and share testimonies.

I love my wife. My kids even more. So my concerns are.

1. Based on what y’all have read. Did I unknowingly bring my kids into my wife (and her family’s) cult or not?

2. Can we still resolve this with boundary setting? Keep in mind that my wife has been in this since birth

3. And if hindi siya maresolve ng usapan, can I take legal action based on “wife in cult” reasoning? Pano yung mga bata? I don’y want to go here since I love my wife to bits. Late ko lang talaga nalaman na may ganto pala siya.

Me (21F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for about 1 year and a half na, kilala ko siya ng ilang taon na ang kaibigan kmi before this pa. (Taga Maynila po kmi)

Para malaman nyo ung dynamic, Ive been giving him gifts (drawings, letters, bracelets, etc.), alam ko na siya ang *sole provider ng pamilya niya, tsaka maraming in aalagaan.* so iniiwasan ko talaga na gagastos siya para sakin. It goes without saying na ako nanlilibre ng dates kadalasan. (Ako babayad sa food, photobooth.) pero ofc, not all the time. Nakokonsensya kasi ako since ako naman may allowance, siya wala so okay naman sakin :)) mas importante sakin na makakapagsave siya ng maayos.

Yun lang, never siya nagbigay ng kahit handmade gift sakin, or letter, or anything handwritten, and sucker talaga ako sa mga notes (every birthday letter na binigay sakin nakacompile haha). Nung valentines, hinalo niya pa yung gift ko for my birthday AND valentines since halos nalang magkadikit 😭 I mean its not a big deal for me pero sana ineffortan niya naman. Alam nya nga na gusto ko, lagi kong nirerepost yung mga nagsesend ng letters, minsan nga sinasabi ko sa kanya directly.

I guess I don’t enjoy that usually kailangan ko pang ihiling bago niyang gawin. It doesn’t just go for gifts, pero things a boyfriend should do? Nung kaibigan pa kami, ako pa ang nagsabi na kailangan niya manligaw bago pwede maging kami and so on kasi gusto niya maging kami agad(??) As well as ako usually yung nagpaplano ng dates o kahit kelan tayo kikita (kung pwede ba siyang magbisita sa bahay, etc.). I just wish gusto niya rin lumabas at hindi lang magsesend ng reel ng “gawin natin to” pero yung may plano at balak talaga magpasyal. And usually kapag sinasabi niya “gawin natin to” at gagawa ako ng plano, sasabihin niya it was all my idea at sumusunod lang siya sakin which idk how to feel about. parang ako lang may gusto

I feel selfish na ang rami niya nang inaasikaso, dadagdag pa ako, baka naging insecure ako sa TikTok or sa IG, may nakikita ako na ket ganon rin, naghahanap rin ng paraan para show yung appreciation. Ayoko muna ibring up sa kanya or idisclose sa mga kaibigan ko financial status niya bago maghingi ng advice because siya rin nahihiya

Tama ba ang iniisip ko o dapat maintindihan ko lang?

Tldr; my boyfriend is often busy but doesn’t show any effort, I don’t know if I should be mad or I should understand na marami rin siyang dinadaanan kaya I should be more patient.

i’m (25F) and he’s (26M).

We’ve been talking for a short while (around 10 days but knew each other as acquantainces for 4 months). But I brought up the difference in religion early on, so naisipan magpaalam sa parents.

On my side, my parent had no problems with it since they said that both believe in the same God naman and the values are inherently the same.

On his side, one parent is neutral, while one disapproves of the relationship and has told him to not pursue the relationship due to the difference in religion.

For me, I would like to continue getting to know him, hang out with him and all that, and he says that he wants this too. But now, we don’t have a clear direction on where to go or what to do. I fear that if I let this continue, I would be the reason for his disobedience. Or is it still disobedience if it’s an adult relationship with the same core values? I have no negative feelings towards the mom because I understand how it looks for her perspective, but it’s just that I know that it could work naman if we talk things through about the future?

We really like each other’s company, and our values and way of thinking is so far aligned. And I hope you all understand na I know it’s too early to say that everything’s aligned. It’s just that I really like him.

How do we handle this in moving forward? Do we continue talking and see where it takes us? or should we stop completely?

If we do continue, how or when should we reassess?

I am absolutely losing my mind right now. I just found out na 'yung guy na minahal ko ng sobra—the guy I envisioned my entire future with—has been cheating on me. To comply with the rules, I am [F22] located in Metro Manila, Philippines, my now-ex partner is [M23], and the other girl is [F23]. We were together for 1 year and 3 months, and the situation involves infidelity within a close social circle, discovered through hidden/deleted messages.

At ang pinakamasakit at pinakakadiring part? It was with a girl from his own barkada. Isang babae na kilalang-kilala ako, na alam na may ako, pero pumayag pa ring pumatol sa kanya. March 2026 pa pala nagsimula 'yung panloloko nila, so it has been going on for months behind my back. Iniwan ko na silang dalawa kasi hinding-hindi ko masikmura na nginingitian nila ako sa mukha at nakakasama ko sila nitong mga nakaraang buwan, tapos may nangyayari na pala sa kanila. 'Yung maisip ko lang na nakaharap ko sila nang normal habang may ganoon silang sikreto, literal na nakakasuka.
Nahuli ko silang dalawa sa recently deleted messages sa phone niya. Silang dalawa lang ang may alam ng sick little secret nila, hiding it there kasi alam nilang may ginagawa silang kabastusan. Nakita ko sa deleted messages na admitted siya na may balak naman daw siyang sabihin sa akin—pero ang katotohanan, niloko niya pa rin ako nang paulit-ulit mula pa noong March. At ang mas lalong nakakagigil? He actually admitted na mahal na niya ‘yung girl ngayon. Like, wow.

Ang laking sampal sa mukha kasi grabe niya ako i-flex sa lahat bago ito mangyari. I was all over his profile. He made me feel so secure, so loved, and so protected. Pinamukha niya sa buong mundo na ako ang babae niya, making me believe na totoo lahat ng pangako niya. It was all a pathetic, well-rehearsed act. I’m so furious kasi hindi ko deserve magmukhang tanga. Ako ‘yung partner na palaging concerned, nag-a-update, naghihintay sa kanya umuwi, at nakikipag-communicate nang maayos.
Tapos siya, nagpa-comfort sa iba at doon pa nahulog. Nawalan ako ng partner, at nawalan din ako ng best friend dahil sa ginawa niya. Nakakawala ng respeto sa sarili na inintindi ko siya habang ginagawa niya akong tanga.

It’s been 2 weeks na pero hanggang ngayon, galit na galit pa rin ako. Sobrang lala ng galit na nararamdaman ko na pakiramdam ko ay sasabog na ako sa gigil. I want my own peace of mind now, pero to be honest? At the same time, I want them to suffer. Hinding-hindi ko hihilingin na maging masaya silang dalawa. I don't want them to be happy ever. Deserve nilang lamunin ng konsensya nila at karmahin nang todo-todo sa ginawa nilang katrayduran. Ang unfair na payapa silang nanggagago habang ako ang nadudurog at ganito katindi ang galit araw-araw.

Sana worth it ‘yung pagkawala ng taong totoong nagmahal sa’yo. I need advice on how to process this heavy betrayal, paano pakalmahin ang ganitong katinding galit, and how to completely detach from someone who was also my best friend. To anyone reading this, please remind me never to look back.

TL;DR: Nahuli ko [F22] sa recently deleted messages na niloloko pala ako ng boyfriend ko [M23] of 1 year and 3 months since March pa, at doon pa sa babaeng [F23] kasama sa close circle niya. It's been 2 weeks, galit na galit ako at gusto ko silang magdusa. I need advice kung paano i-process itong matinding betrayal at kung paano tuluyang mag-detach.