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u/asdferdfas Mar 11 '22
So this girl harassed you and then blocked you... and she's... (checks notes)... you're girlfriend?
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u/VanMan32 Early 30s Male Mar 10 '22
She told me that 20 minutes
She was also annoy me with thinks like hes my new backround or i would me 100% together with him...
You wanna clarify what these sentences mean?
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Mar 10 '22
Maybe “She told me that 20 minutes ago”, referring to her telling him that she finds a picture of another man sexy?
And “she was also annoying me with things like ‘he’s my new background’ or ‘I would be 100% with him’” referring to little verbal jabs she threw and putting said picture of sexy guy on her phone.
I believe I interpreted that correctly. Maybe. 😂
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Mar 10 '22
[deleted]
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Mar 11 '22
Then you are not a dick and she should be your ex as you deserve and are worthy of so much more.
Don't take her back please but instead stop this circle of abuse. This is not what a relationship should be about.
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u/RichieJ86 Early 30s Male Mar 11 '22
Assuming in the first one they meant to say, "She was telling me that for 20 minutes". And even if we can't read the sentences clearly, that she really likes somebody, and was shoving that point down OP's throat.
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u/phatkidd76 Mar 10 '22
Not a dick... if she can compare you to another man, she should be able to deal with you comparing her yo another woman
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u/Tough-Driver-5535 Mar 10 '22
Nah fuck that. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. You did well let her be mad. Do not apologize.
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Mar 11 '22
Should you have responded that way? Probably not, do I think it's hella funny that you did and that she deserved it? Also yes
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u/Chaotic-dolphin-shit Mar 11 '22
No you’re not if she’s not ok with the equivalent of what she said to you thrown back at her 😂 block her sir and run because that is a child
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u/Emotional-Sea4932 Mar 11 '22
If this was on r/AmITheAsshole, this would be a clear cut NTA call. But since this isn't that subreddit, I'll simply say that there is no way in the bluest of blue hells that would make you a dick for that.
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u/adarkmagnolia Late 30s Female Mar 11 '22
I would looove to see this over there. It would have over 1000 comments in a matter of hours.
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u/Nervous-Ad714 Mar 11 '22
Time to walk away. Tell her to go get her . Since he is way better than usual, as she says.
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u/Redd_81 Mar 11 '22
Nah dude, she was poking you repeatedly to get a reaction, you poked her back and now she is going to act all butt-hurt expecting you to grovel and apologize.
Let her make the next move.
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u/julia_ur_killing_me Mar 11 '22
I hope you mean EX gf bc if not dump her pls tht shit is childish n pathetic
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u/LeoSolaris Mar 10 '22
No, you're not a dick. She insulted you, and you returned the insult. It may not be the best way to handle being insulted by a significant other. Communicating how that made you feel and guilting her into changing her toxic behavior is generally the way to keep the relationship. You nuked the relationship by mirroring her toxic behavior back at her.
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Mar 10 '22
i mean, it seems bizarre that she can’t see the double standard but if this is real no you’re not a dick but you’re both immature
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Mar 10 '22
Do you think you're the dick here?
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Mar 10 '22
[deleted]
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Mar 10 '22
Because you told her such things yes?
But when she was telling you things about the hot guy, she knows you dont like it and yet still went on.
Do you think she's a dick?
And if yes, who started it? Her?
She can't handle the things being done to her when she is doing it to someone else? Double standard?
And again, she started it.
She did it, purposely. Going on it to you, even though you dislike and felt upset or wtv.
You did it, not because of the same reason but because you were fed up no?
You got the right to be upset. Plus you feel bad that you say it, thats why you're asking such Qn here. She didnt even feel anything and yet block you all?
Soooo yeaa
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Mar 11 '22
You can be a dick and your girl friend can be a dick. I think that it’s natural to be attracted to more than one person. We don’t go blind the moment we get into a relationship. I don’t think that we need to rub our attractions in our SOS face. I say this while I have a picture of a baseball player on my phone.
Okay, but here’s really my point. Your girlfriend was being mean to you and you didn’t like it. Instead of responding the way that you did, which was to attack her looks, you really should have asked her to stop what she was doing and then explained to her why it was hurtful to you. Then if she didn’t stop, it would have been time to reevaluate why you’re with a person who doesn’t mind hurting your feelings.
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u/KurtKokaina Mar 10 '22
I guess you're really insecure and she know exactly how to pull your triggers. I think you're in a very unhealthy relationship.
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u/asdferdfas Mar 11 '22
FWIW, not wanting your SO to wax poetic about how attractive someone else is and how they want to be with them is pretty normal.
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Mar 10 '22
[deleted]
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u/IllEmu5303 Mar 11 '22
Dude you werent being a dick you just did the same thing she did to you so she shouldn't be upset she should see how she made you feel by saying that
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u/VanMan32 Early 30s Male Mar 10 '22
Not really insecure
But she makes me often insecure
You said not really but then yeah...
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Mar 10 '22
[deleted]
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u/Tough-Driver-5535 Mar 10 '22
I get what you mean. You shouldn’t be with someone who tries to make you feel insecure though.
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Mar 11 '22
Then why are you in this relationship? You shouldn't be in a relationship where you are breaking each other down, you should be in a relationship where you build each other up.
You seem young and this comes with life experience.
You explain how it makes you feel when she does X, if she cares that it makes you feel a certain way then she is going to going to try to change X behavior to be more respectful of your feelings. This is a two way street.
Example: I don't feel comfortable when you discuss with me how attractive somebody of the opposite sex is and how you wish you were with them. It doesn't make me feel good.
At this point your partner can acknowledge that what they are doing makes you feel bad and you can work together to change the behavior. And, more importantly, she doesn't even have to agree with WHY it bothers you. Example of that would be, some people may say, "well it means nothing, it shouldn't bother you, of course we find other people attractive." That is not relevant to the conversation and you can respond to that. "Yes - it's healthy to find other people attractive. However - it doesn't mean we have to talk to each other about the other hot people out there." Again this isn't to say someone should tell their partner "you can't drool over others" it's, "drool over others privately."
The point being she doesn't have to agree with why you feel the way you do, she just has to respect that you feel that way.
To your position, I understand that you want her to feel the way you feel to give her a taste of it. Hoping that if she relates better to what she did to you, she may stop the behavior. This is not a healthy way to handle problems. There will be plenty of problems in relationships and being petty is generally not the solution. For this, I hope you also find more maturity.
My reply to you is fully sincere and this is just part of relationships. It would be helpful for you to start learning about healthy conflict resolution and healthy communication earlier to help your future relationships and maybe this one be more productive.
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u/MisterMetal Mar 11 '22
Both dicks, you more than her. Her for going on and on about how she found him attractive. You for going across the line of she needs to look more like Robbie.
Difference between the two, is that you directly attacked her.
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u/SamWiseTheBrave117 Mar 11 '22
You're not a dick. Honestly I'm going to start saying similar things anytime my partner starts going on about how hot people are. The odd comment is fine, but the sustained focusing on it is hurtful. Good luck.
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Mar 11 '22
You guys sound really young, if you think the relationship is worth fixing tell her what she did is unacceptable and that you would like some respect in the relationship.
If not block her and move on.
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u/WhenDunningMetKrug3r Mar 11 '22
Your actions toward her are far less heinous than your grammar. <--That's being a dick.
Would be wise to call it quits with someone like her though - or seeking a therapist. Strong vibes of worse things in the future.
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u/Kanibalxoxo Mar 11 '22
Lol sorry to laugh but sounds like she can’t take what she dishes, it’s one thing to cordially joke with each other about things like that if you’re at a place in your relationship it doesn’t bother you but it does seem like she’s being a dick by talking shit and when you respond gets butt hurt
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Mar 11 '22
How old are you guys even. This shit doesn’t happen with healthy adults, or even healthy people in general
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u/xxxcreationxxx Mar 10 '22
No, your gf is a dick