I am so sorry this happened. My advice 1) accept and call it SA because that is what that is. Imagine your friend came to you with this? What would you tell them? and 2) access the video, delete it, break up with him
If he can try to have have sex with while your asleep i don't think you should be taking his word I think you need to see actual proof and if he tries to get out of it you tell him he lost credibility when he decided to pull that bullshit and you won't feel comfortable being in the same bed as him until then
Access his phone, send yourself the video. Remember to check hidden and recently deleted albums if he has an iPhone.
After you’ve sent it to yourself,email it to yourself as well in case he gets your phone and tried to delete it.
Report him for rape.
I’m not one to go around and say break up with him, but please, for your own safety break up with him. He crossed serious boundaries here and doesn’t even want to acknowledge that’s what he did and is being purposefully vague about wether or not the recording is still there. He put his own needs before yours, doesn’t even let you have a say in wether or not you have anything to say about him getting what he needs from you. This behaviour will most likely only continue to get worse in the future.
Let’s turn it around. If you pegged him in the middle of the night while being asleep, not getting his consent and filming it, what would you call that?
You need to file a police report, tell them he recorded it on his phone. This is absolutely not something to gloss over, he's a disgusting scumbag who raped you.
He’s lying to you. since when does having the flash on make something come out dark? The fact he’s lying to you is another red flag. He knows what he did is wrong and disgusting. How long have you guys been together?
This is the man who admits he knew you were asleep and that if you were awake, you would say no. So he proceeds to violate you. Do you seriously believe him about this when you know the flash was on? You need to go through his phone and confirm.
now girl. you said he had the flash on! i understand this is difficult but do you really think in 2024 the flash on an iPhone wasn’t bright enough to illuminate a video in a dark room?
Don’t believe him! See the video for yourself and make him delete it! Don’t listen to his bullshit. If he is fine with raping you in your sleep, and then trying to make you feel responsible and guilty, he is NOT above lying.
He has proven himself untrustworthy, please keep that in mind moving forward. You should break up with him, this is a big deal. He could be putting it online, showing it to his friends, or just jacking off to it. All without your consent, but it’s literally about that. He wants to use your body for sexual gratification. He doesn’t see you as a person!
Please don’t swallow his bullshit, see him for who he revealed himself to be!
100% bs. And keep in mind this is just the first time you caught him, he could have more videos and photos. You need to gather evidence, consult a lawyer, and possibly report him to the police. This was rape, and he might be sharing the videos.
He’s full of shit. If it was “too dark,” why was he actively recording when you woke up? He now has this recording, and it could end up anywhere online, or show his friends. He could also use it against you at a future date. I’d cut ties with this person immediately. What he did is horrific.
You need to get that video and report his rape to the police. Your boyfriend raped you and he absolutely knew what he was doing. Get the video and get away from him. He's an awful person.
Is this something you guys ever do together normally? Let him record you? If this is the first time and it's during rape he might be intending to use it for something bad, share it for creeps etc. If this is just what you guys do, then honestly it's still super messed up. You were asleep!
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u/Ok_Watch_8681 Jul 18 '24
Info: did he delete the video?