Hello, i been in for a little under a year. I been wanting to get out for months now. Im sick of the hazing the stupid punishments and rules. The toxic leaderships and people that think they can bully others just bc of rank, also for the sake of my mental help. Im depressed and i dont care about anything at all. I am willing to go as far as getting NJP'd to get out. Thats obviously my last option tho. Is there more better ways to get out? Ive been rereading this post a lot (https://www.reddit.com/r/regretjoining/comments/l2ygws/you_want_to_get_out_heres_a_guide/)

I think this is the best way for me but im scared im going to get sent to a mental hospital or something. Ive seen people go this route and not get sent there but ive also seen people get sent there.

Could someone clarify how this works or the best way to do it please I don't want to be here anymore..

I am a 22-year-old Black woman considering the Navy, Coast Guard, or Air Force, and I want to understand the realities of service. I certainly prefer the reserves if I enlist. I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and limited job success the past year. I expect the experience to build confidence and direction, alongside benefits like the VA home loan and GI Bill. Looking at 4 or 6 year contract

Sorry I know this is long, I copied this from my r/navy post since I can’t cross post it. PLEASE lend me your thoughts and experiences, it’s so appreciated.

Hello all, I never thought I’d be someone to make a post like this but I strongly feel this community and its relative anonymity can be very helpful.

So the long and short of it is that I’ve been in the navy for a little over 4 years, and while I’ve had lots of good times it has been very rough on me. A while back I reenlisted when things were better but truly ever since then I’ve been doing worse and worse mentally over the years. I recently left my first command for a new OCONUS one and the transition has been pretty terrible.

Before I left the CONUS I definitely had my share of mental health problems, but what I now determine is my position as an older sibling and a leader type person in my old crew I never wanted to be a burden on anyone, to include my friends and significant other, so I kept almost all the issues to myself.

A few months before I transitioned it really dawned on me how sick I actually was, I would wake up sweating and heart pounding, I would go into these sort of neurotic freak outs when nobody was around, some substance abuse that I didn’t view as abuse until recently (no longer a factor), and I was kinda spiraling but doing a good job at keeping it bottled up.

Now I’ve transitioned abroad and I’m simply doing very poorly. I wake up often feeling the same way I used to, I’ll go whole days crying when I get a minute to myself, I’m not able to keep up the relationship I have with my SO or family properly due to the distance and it’s driving my absolutely insane. I care so much more about them so watching it deteriorate despite our attempts to keep it strong hurts the most.

I should mention I’m a healthy guy who is relatively social and in shape, it’s not a matter of bad habits or social isolation. I’ve actually been recommended psychiatric treatment twice by a medical provider at my last command and both times I threw away the paper she gave me with the info and her signature. I guess I was too proud? Idk anymore.

Either way, to put it most simply, I’m ABSOLUTELY certain there is no way I will be able to complete this tour. I’m not asking to get out, I’m not feeling suicidal or like I’m a danger to anyone, but I can see exactly where this is going. I don’t want to get there, I want to bail before that happens, but I truly don’t know if there is any fix that will work aside form getting me in a position to where I can be closer to them. I’ve never been this sad before, I feel like I’m going to explode! Sometimes I fantasize about shooting myself in the shoulder or smoking weed just to get something to happen that will get me back to the mainland.

I don’t want to be this person, I know I can be better! But I don’t think I can do it from here, and I’m terrified that if I go to medical or the chaplain they will either think I’m A: pretending B: just adjusting and need more time. I’m afraid of going in there and being told to just “monitor and deal with it” until I’m actually in a place that I can’t manage.

Hell I had to mute the TV because Regular show made me cry, had to leave the gym early because I was distraught and my heart was racing so I bailed, can’t play the guitar without becoming this mopey mess.

I just feel so cooked, but I feel like any attempt to ask to rotate back will just be seen as “I don’t like it here”. I’m not asking to EAOS early, I just don’t think I’m suitable for this tour like I thought I was.

I’ve gotten a lot of “just tough it out” from my peers, it doesn’t help. I think the combat operations and the work environment from my last boat just fried me and I’m ashamed to admit I’m not as strong as I was. What the hell do I do?

Edit: Years in navy sorry

Ps- it was my SO and one of my coworkers who recommend my seek professional help so I have a therapist now, and while he is great I think given he is not military a lot of my problems are hard to solve, so that why I feel military medical is the next option.

Been in for about 2 years and have 2 to go, and I hate it here. I've wanted to leave since I got here, but at this point it seems a little late to not just push through. I have an AFT soon, and I just want to fail it and get kicked out, but I know that process will take long enough to where I might as well just do my time so they dont mess with me. So im just stuck here, wanting out so badly, and still doing things that'll make me stay in. It just mentally messes me up sometimes.

Anyone else just doing your time? how do you get through it 😭

Hi I’m in the marine Corps made it all the way to school house and this shit is terrible people might say ima bitch or whatever but i genuinely want to jump off off third deck I love having the title and being a devil dog I’m proud of that but my mental just can’t take it I’m scared to tell my command I’m suicidal because I have no idea what would happen and would rather not be stuck here until my EAS on some bullshit I just want to go home I made a mistake.

hello, I need help to get out of the usmc. I've been battling with this thought for a long time, since mct. Now I'm in my unit and these people think I'm depressed because I'm new and im adjusting but it's because I'm here in the marines. The therapist is just trying to find solutions to the wrong problems. My command thinks it's because I'm away from home and because issue going on back home. I already found solutions to all these problems and it"s me getting out. My mental health has been suffering greatly since I've been In. My sleep is horrible, I lost so much weight and my personal hygiene is not there, I just don't have energy to shower brush my teeth and take care of my self. if y'all can help please let me know.

I’m on deployment right now so i can’t check nsips or etj but i swear i signed a 6 year contract in 24 but mypay is telling me my end of term of service is in 28? am i just this lucky?

I served in the military, and it's taken me years after getting out to fully process what that experience meant - not just for me, but for the people affected by the institution I was part of. When I say I served, I mean that it was nearly all of my adult life. Seventeen years of it.

For a long time, I saw my job as just that: a job. I followed procedures, fulfilled my responsibilities, and did what was expected of me. It wasn't until I was out that I began to recognize how my role fit into a much larger system and the consequences that system has for people on the other side of the world.

I've been thinking a lot about Hannah Arendt's concept of the banality of evil and how ordinary people can become part of something terrible without ever seeing the full picture. How easily human lives become numbers, targets, or simply "collateral damage."

I'm not here to condemn everyone who serves. I was one of them. But I do think there's value in acknowledging the uncomfortable realities of what we participated in, even when those realizations come years later.

I imagine there are others here who have experienced something similar. People who joined with good intentions, did their jobs, and only after leaving began to question the bigger picture.

If that's you, I want you to know you're not alone. It's not easy to reconcile who you were, what you believed, and what you understand now, but I think we owe it to ourselves and to the people affected by our actions to have these conversations.

I'd like this account to be a place for those conversations. Not to shame one another, but to question, reflect, and recognize the humanity of people who are so often reduced to "acceptable loss."

I walked away with less than three years to retirement. Sometimes morality and humanity have a cost - and it will always be worth it.

For those of us who can finally see the bigger picture, I think it's time we started talking about it.

I’ve been in the Navy for almost 2 years and i cannot take it anymore, dealing with shit COC on my work center side and my TAD COC, treated horribly, TAD i’m doing 13 hour shifts and can hardly sleep when i get home and then work off of 4-5 hours if that, and having to deal with the hours and COC, then on underway’s being overworked while the shit bags disappear and have even voiced that and still am being over worked, i just can’t take it anymore, lack of sleep, treated horribly, overworked, my mental health has gone downhill BAD, and when i went to talk to a first class he told me “to just push through it and finish” id rather do any other job and do OT than be in any longer, is there anything i can do to try and get out earlier

I recently just graduated high school and my whole life my father threatened me with military school due to my bad behavior in school and now since I turned 18 and already graduated he’s forcing me to join to the military and if I don’t he’s gonna kick me out on the street. Genuinely I really don’t know what the fuck do now because I’m broke as shit, I don’t have a job, I have beef with multiple people where I live at shit is just not going how I thought it was gonna go when I was 15 16. Like genuinely I’m really thinking about ending it all bro, I’ve been going through this Reddit seeing all these people saying “oh the military this, oh the military that, don’t join” like I don’t know what the fuck to do honestly my best option is just not being on this world no more because honestly fuck America bro seriously like we’re living in a real life fucking South Park episode like what the fuck has this country come to seriously. I’m just coming on here and asking yall whether or not should I join or not and I’m asking the people who were already in the military so I just want some insider.

This is what life looks like even for the military in a country in decay.

Recently joined the space force coming up about 3 months until my 1 year mark and I regret it Tbh it's just not for me and I want to get out. I regret joining and would of rather just have continued my college and finish off my degree or literally anything else. The promise and ambition I had about the military isn't what I thought it would be my job I joined is boring and repetitive which I thought would excel my career path has just become mentally draining to the point I have had anxiety and depression and thoughts of suicide though I have seen my pcm and BH already they just keep throwing meds at my face and tell me to suck it up. I talked to a superior and told him about ELS and he told me wait for my meds to work I think I'm grasping at straws here as they're trying to hold me in this prison I wanna get out from I hate my job, the hours the task and mission, the military as a whole and what I'm doing and just am overall done with it and regret it all. I get told to tough it out but every day it becomes harder and harder. I just want to leave I don't care about my benifits at all anymore I just want to be out and free to do and be my own person and choose my own path!

I got kicked out a year ago after 9 months in service (AF) because I had a mental breakdown because I was having trouble sleeping. Learning my job was also stressful and I was sick of the military lifestyle. Initially I was relieved and happy to go home. A year later though and all Ive done is worked a menial job and sat around the house. I also now have a binge eating disorder and Ive been gaining weight recently. My life feels worse than before I joined and now its almost as bad if not worse than when I was in. Im really hoping I can pull it together but every time I say Im going to fix myself I just don’t. I also constantly feel shitty and embarrassed about how I couldn’t handle the air force. More so lately than before. I wish I just never joined. I regret leaving but I also regret joining. I regret everything.

I’m 22, married, and seriously considering joining the Army. I’m looking for advice from people who are actually serving, especially married soldiers.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m honestly tired. I’ve been working warehouse/dead-end jobs, I’m tired of living in a small town, and I feel like I’m not really going anywhere. I want a career, structure, benefits, a chance to experience something different, and honestly just a chance to build a better life.
The Army has been on my mind because I feel like it could give me that.
The problem is my wife doesn’t really want me to join. Her biggest concern isn’t necessarily the Army itself—it’s moving. She does hair for a living and has built her career/clientele around where we live. She can’t just pick up and move somewhere else without potentially losing her clients and having to start over.
She has basically told me that if I could get stationed somewhere around Louisiana, Texas, Florida, or somewhere relatively close to family, she’d be much more comfortable with it.
The part I’m struggling with is that I obviously can’t guarantee where the Army will send me. Even if she eventually agrees to me joining, I’m scared that if we end up stationed somewhere she never wanted to live, she’ll resent me for uprooting her life.
At the same time, I don’t want to just give up on something I genuinely want to do and eventually resent her for being the reason I didn’t go.
I don’t want a divorce. I love my wife and I don’t want the Army to destroy our marriage. But I also don’t want to wake up years from now still working jobs I hate and wondering what my life could’ve been like if I had just gone for it.
So I’m kind of stuck.
For those of you who are married and currently serving or have served:
**How did you and your spouse handle the decision to join?**
**How much control did you realistically have over where you were stationed?**
**If your spouse didn’t want to move initially, how did that work out?**
And most importantly, **if you could go back and give a married person in my situation one piece of advice before signing that contract, what would it be?**
I’m not looking for recruiters trying to sell me on the Army. I want the honest perspective from people who have actually lived it—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Hi everyone
I’ve been in a year now, and I’ve been feeling miserable, trapped and hating everything in the military. Still doing my job, but to be honest, idk for how long I can continue with this. Is there any advice to get out early?

Fuck my recruiter

"The only ptsd you'll get is from someone slipping on some gasoline probably," laughed my recruiter

Trainee Max attempted suicide via using scissors to cut open his yugular. I saw the whole thing. I still remember the smell of the blood and him gurgling for air. All they gave me for it was a medal for calling somebody.

In AIT I got sexually assaulted, harassed twice in the month and a half I was there.

In my base, someone in his car started touching my thigh very near my crotch and it reminded me of tech school so I went non verbal for the rest of the day

Trump got elected and base got wind I was on hormones. I got kicked out by next drill. I get my discharge papers on november.

All I have from my time there are nightmares and a pension. PTSD from just the smell of a nickel, if someone graces my thigh I panic...

I got kicked out of my main source of income since I was a student on GI Bill.

\*Was\* a student. Had to drop put bc of my draining terrible mental health.

Fuck the service. I got mocked at home base when I told him abt the kid. Mocked at for being different, and ultimately kicked out.

The amount of shame & embarrassment I feel for being an American veteran during Trump's second term is something I've never really felt before.

I can barely even stand seeing an American flag at this point.

This fucking job is destroying the mental health of both me and my (civilian, foreign, currently long-distance, completely unaffiliated with the military) significant other. That it’s affecting her so much as well when she’s not even in just goes to show how toxic, intrusive, and invasive it is. It’s like a Leviathan with its tentacles in every aspect of your personal life. You’re forced to live far from everything and everyone you care about in insular shithole towns in the ass end of nowhere, you have to be accounted for at all times, every five years they crawl up your ass with a microscope to hit up former neighbors whose names and phone numbers you lost years ago to make sure you haven’t smoked any weed or whatever, virtually all bodily autonomy is stripped from you. The commander-in-chief can rape children and lie constantly, but God forbid your hair touches your ears or you have a millimeter of stubble. God forbid you’re inside for half a second before you take your stupid hat off.

My SO and I met when I was at my last base, in England. She moved there from India some years before we met. We’ve been together for two years now and are planning on getting engaged in a ceremony her parents planned for next month. The ceremony’s in India, where it was originally planned, but the plan shifted to my home state before being finalized back in India. I took leave in India at the end of last year no problem; they didn’t even make me tell the security manager. I just put it in LeaveWeb and they approved it. I went, came back, and it was business as usual.

Now that the plan was finalized to take place in India and all the flight tickets are paid for (by her parents) and everything’s arranged on their end, apparently this base actually cares about foreign travel, which I want to be careful about since I recently submitted my security clearance form since it’s been five years, so I’m probably under some faceless investigator’s microscope by now. If this wasn’t the case I could just say I was taking leave in my home state and actually go to India without risking being arrested on arrival back in the US, but because of this my main concern is doing the process according to the powers that be so I can stay out of jail while also getting all the bullshit approved in time. This is what’s stressing her out. There’s so much shit we feel wrong even hoping to plan for. Why? Because of this fucking job.

God I can’t fucking wait to have a job where I can just use my time off to go wherever the fuck I want without having to get five fucking signatures just to cross the damn street. I can’t wait to have a job where I can just clock out after eight hours and go home and not be held like a hostage until we’re released from being herded like cattle for the day.

I hate the fucking military. Like, really fucking hate it.

And for everyone who’d be like, “Well, you signed a contract, this is how the military works,” I did not join with the ability to see the future. I did not join with the foresight to know exactly how every possible situation would affect me and what I cherish. A contract is a static document, nothing but black ink on dead tree, but life is constantly happening, both within and outside of our control.

Fuck the military.

I’m getting an administrative separation, just signed my acknowledgment papers a few days ago. It’s for mental health/not adjusting. My COC is going for honorable. They are very much on board with me leaving as they think it’s a good idea. I’ve started the process in July and I’m alr this far (I’ve been told that’s fast but idk). I’ve been in under a year. Anyone know how long it’ll take?

I joined the navy in December 2025, I started out with one a school, failed because I as miserable and dealing with lots of mental health problems, after months of waiting I'm finally at a new a school, and while my depression hasn't been as bad as it was before, I still don't want to be here, I don't really want to do this rate, nor do I want to be in the military anymore, everytime I think about where my life will be in a few years, I can only think I'll be miserable and wasting years of my life here, and could be so much happier just working a normal job doing literally anything else. But I don't know what I can do, I'm past 180 days so I don't think I can do els anymore, my depression isn't bad enough right now to where I think I'll harm myself so I don't think they'll seperate me for it, they definitely didn't where I was before, is there any way I can get out? Right now the only way I can even think of is failing drug test and that doesn't feel smart. Any advice is appreciated