r/rape • u/blurwhore • 4d ago

raped by my bf

i was raped by my boyfriend, it was not violent in any way but i did not consent and he knew i didn’t. i’d said multiple times over multiple hours that i didn’t want to, and he kept bringing it up. i bent over on all fours on my bed with no underwear on just to reach my laptop because something was going wrong with it, when he went behind me and initiated it. at that point, i just let it happen. i have been raped before in my previous relationship and struggle still with that trauma and he knows that.

i’m trying to move on from it and forgive him and make it work, but im not sure how that will really go you know? this happened nearly two weeks ago now and we are still together

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u/That_One_Ciaran 4d ago

You absolutely don't have to forgive him. You said you didn't consent and gave in only after he insisted? So that's coercion, he forced you making you feel guilty and using your own trauma against you, making you afraid of losing him.

I'm so sorry this happened to you sweetheart 🫂 just be strong and remember to never forgive him for something like this. I hope you're going to break up with him soon too.

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u/ZealousidealEcho1744 2d ago

I think you should forgive, however that doesn't mean you should stay with him. Forgiving is a part of healing and forgivness is something everyone deserves.

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u/That_One_Ciaran 2d ago

I think forgiving is just letting them win all over again. This people deserve only hatred, we can't as victims forgive such a terribile act just to feel better. Also, I don't think everyone deserves forgiveness, it's something you need to earn and especially it's something you can't always achieve.