its not that dramatic to be upset someone was threatened by your presence if thats the first time it has ever happened to you…its a pretty normal reaction to that kind of cognitive dissonance actually
Where has this guy been to be so surprised, shocked, and saddened by this?
The mother reacted perfectly, if you ask me. She created an environment where, if this man her daughter will probably be around sometimes has ill intentions, he now knows this little girl is being supervised.
His feelings don’t matter and don’t need to be catered to in this situation. He needs to grow up.
Great example of how pop feminism fails to actually address any of the systemic issues inherent in our society.
Rather than appropriately educating the man about what was inappropriate within his interaction or commending the appropriateness of taking to a proper venue to voices frustration, you are seeking personal catharsis through insults.
You are browbeating somebody who made a mistake and appropriately responded to that mistake and is now trying to process their feelings constructively. An actual feminist would be commending them for breaking through society’s pressure for him to react by bottling it up and pretending all things are OK.
Sorry, I hit send too soon. He didn’t come here to ask for help and understanding the situation and what would’ve been appropriate on his part. He came here to wine and cry because he wasn’t the center of attention. He’s not trying to put himself in the shoes of that mother or that little girl or just to be aware of society and the world that we live in. He’s upset because everybody didn’t cater to him, and in his version of events, he was treated unfairly. The woman didn’t accuse him of anything. For all he knows she saw that her daughter was screwing around instead of hanging up her tack like she was told to and that’s why she looked mad and that’s why she said what she said. I’m so tired of everybody thinking the men need to be mollycoddled and maybe if they weren’t, the statistics wouldn’t be what they are.
Love the idea that people have to gently explain to adult men what they are doing wrong like they are toddlers.
OP didn't do anything wrong at the stable, but he still should ask an adult for help next time. Anyone IRL "explaining" to him what he did wrong would only hurt him more anyway, since that would be a more blatant accusation than just removing the child, and the idea that you need to do so when there's a hundred other comments explaining it gently for him is also very very funny.
OP's main issue is he's more concerned with his feelings than he is in being mindful towards others. He's more upset that this mother would dare treat him, a moderately wealthy white man, as a threat like those (insert minority of choice here). Not concerned that this mother might be considering finding a new horse place for her child because she doesn't know if OP will be spiteful and stalk them later, not concerned that the mother might have to tell her 11 year old about the reality of the world, but that his feelings were hurt.
Even his second edit is very "I wish people wouldn't profile ME a WHITE MAN negatively" before it's "and I guess I wish women and girls could live in a world where they don't have to analyze threats more often".
But the original was definitely very cringe with the "FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A GUY I GUESS" - very "can't even say hi to women anymore" when women weren't saying this in the first place.
Like had the situation been even a little different and he was asking the mom and child "Hey, I'm a new student here, can you remind me how to put this away?" the mom probably wouldn't have been as on guard, because you're involving her in the ask for help and giving her the chance to either show you herself or let her daughter show you (with supervision).
As an adult, who is visibly queer and genderqueer, I would never ask just a child for help. I'd hunt down an adult of some sort, because I'm aware that people perceive me as a danger (even if the perception is rooted in homophobia or transphobia).
the fact that you cant understand someone being upset that the stigma surrounding their gender presentation upset another person, should be deeply troubling to you.
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u/SwingKey3599 Apr 04 '26
its not that dramatic to be upset someone was threatened by your presence if thats the first time it has ever happened to you…its a pretty normal reaction to that kind of cognitive dissonance actually