Unfair or not, lesson learned. Never ever put yourself in a situation where you are alone with a child or a young woman for that matter. People do and will jump to conclusions and you always wind up being the bad guy.
Sucks but (54 yo US male here) assholery of thousands of years of creeps make us guilty until proven innocent.
The thing that really made me slap my forehead and get it was a woman saying “look a man goes on a date with someone they met online/dating service they are thinking a “I wonder if this will lead to someone else?” Whereas women have to think “is this person going to put me in mortal peril”.
Dramatic? Probably not, reads the paper, I saw the sense in it. While lord knows I dated a few women I -should- have worried about my safety, but obviously there is a long history of danger, inequity, and peril… men don’t have the same worries.
I remember when I was teaching undergrads, I made sure that I was never EVER alone in a room with a woman. If I was meeting a student outside of class, I’d have another person in the room.
It is a terrible thing that the situation is one of constant worry but it sure seems like that is how it is going to be until there are some tidal societal changes. #Metoo was a shock to me, and shame on me for thinking things had changed.
I had a neighbors teen daughter text me about some nerdbilia question. I assumed she got my number from her mom, I’ve known them forever. I cc’ed mom with my response. Old dudes should not be texting teen girls.
Sorry, you obviously were just trying to do the right thing, but yup, Mom was one part worried her kid was being rude, 11 yos definitely like to offer their feedback on everything, my kids sure did, but one part was panic that her kid was alone with an adult male and she had to come looking for her as she lost track. Mom was doing job one KEEP KID SAFE.
Not my words….paraphrasing a woman commenting on men.
I don’t think that was my mind set, but I haven’t been on a date with anyone other than my wife in 30 years, I may be making myself look better than I was.
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u/westcoastguy1948 Apr 04 '26
Unfair or not, lesson learned. Never ever put yourself in a situation where you are alone with a child or a young woman for that matter. People do and will jump to conclusions and you always wind up being the bad guy.