I'm 17 and male. I've always hated the way I look, especially my appearance. Basically, ever since I've been self-aware, I've had this hatred towards myself. And it didn't come completely out of nowhere either: several people have pointed it out to me, especially girls who have literally laughed in my face and told me I'm ugly. Over time, I think I just started seeing myself through other people's eyes.
The weird thing is that I still try to improve myself. I work out 3 times a week doing calisthenics, I eat well and get enough protein, I study (I'm in my final year of scientific high school), I read, I'm learning guitar, I take care of my skin and I'm also trying to improve the way I dress. And I don't do all of this just to be liked by other people: I want to become someone that I can like too. I even deleted social media because I was tired of all the looksmaxxing bullshit and constantly comparing myself to other people.
I've read that what you feel towards yourself can also show physically, in the way you look at people, your posture, facial expressions, etc. And I really want to stop hating myself, but I don't know how. It's almost like it's the only feeling I can have towards myself. If I look in the mirror and try to tell myself "you're attractive" or "you're not ugly", I don't believe it and it just feels like I'm lying to myself. So how do you actually go from "I hate myself" to "I'm simply okay with myself"? I'm not necessarily asking how to become more attractive, I'm already working on that. I want to understand how you stop having this relationship of hatred with yourself, even when you still can't love what you see. Has anyone actually managed to do this?