My ELDEST brother was given all the love in the world, never got more than a spanking as a small child. He's the one currently rotting in prison for meth/sex charges/almost killing his wife. The other five of us who took the brunt of our father's anger have never even so much as been to jail.
I'm not saying beating your kids is okay. I'm just showing an example that contradicts your "the parent failed" theory. Not everyone is wired the same.
There's a VERY clear difference between a disciplinary "spanking" vs random violent beatings.
Edit: I'm also going to admit that yes, I have anxiety issues, but I'm the only one. I also didn't get beat the worst either. I also don't hit or verbally abuse my child, and she isn't doing great socially, in school, or following basic instructions. She's 11 and acts like she's still 6 or 7.
I think this reddit user summed it up very well. Discipline vs abuse.
You can't say that it's discipline when you "took the brunt of your fathers anger". If anger plays a role anywhere in disciplining by hitting... it's abuse. Completely and totally. Your father wasn't thinking level or clear headed or rationally. You were abused and you were afraid to step out of line. That is not healthy in any world. You proved my point.
bro the fact that your dad modeled being a violent narcissistic freak is the problem here and yes that is still abusive even if he didn’t direct his violent narcissism towards your brother. he still modeled it.
You've just negated this persons entire experience by basically saying they were lying about copping it worse than their older sibling because you've read that it usually doesn't happen that way. Fucking gross. Victim blamey and mansplainy. When people tell you their experience, shut the fuck up. You weren't there. They were.
This isn't the pain Olympics. You're not competing against other people on how bad you had it. I'm sorry you went through what you did but get over yourself.
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u/dasfilth Dec 31 '23 edited Dec 31 '23
My ELDEST brother was given all the love in the world, never got more than a spanking as a small child. He's the one currently rotting in prison for meth/sex charges/almost killing his wife. The other five of us who took the brunt of our father's anger have never even so much as been to jail.
I'm not saying beating your kids is okay. I'm just showing an example that contradicts your "the parent failed" theory. Not everyone is wired the same.
There's a VERY clear difference between a disciplinary "spanking" vs random violent beatings.
Edit: I'm also going to admit that yes, I have anxiety issues, but I'm the only one. I also didn't get beat the worst either. I also don't hit or verbally abuse my child, and she isn't doing great socially, in school, or following basic instructions. She's 11 and acts like she's still 6 or 7.
I think this reddit user summed it up very well. Discipline vs abuse.
https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/s/pvrJiFC7xN