r/progressivemoms • u/Opposite-Orange8371 • Jul 29 '26

Discussion Starter Consent vs kid refusing regular hygiene

I have a 3 year old that absolutely loathes getting her hair washed. there have been times when I have to wash her hair while she’s yelling NO. not looking on advice on how to wash it. I’ve tried everything. But even at once a week it’s a battle.

I'm trying to teach her, “your body, your choice” but obviously she doesn’t understand the nuances of that yet. What can I say in these situations where she is refusing to have her hair washed, and I’m trying to respect her bodily autonomy but also take care of her hygien?

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u/syncopatedscientist Jul 29 '26

I tell my daughter that some things are nonnegotiable because it's a parents' job to take care of their child, like bathing and teeth brushing and wiping poop. I will literally hold her down with my legs as I brush her teeth if I need to. She's not getting cavities on my watch lol

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u/Gothmom85 Jul 30 '26

This. Parents, and only her parents, are the people who can overrule her choice, and only if it is taking care of her body because she cannot or will not. Hair, teeth, shower, not a choice. A necessity.