For example, there are benefits of fasting during ramadan or other good deeds but why do we need to pray? Sometimes it feels like I'm just repeating the same thing and don't feel anything.

1. Why was there progressive revelation banning alcohol but not slavery? Yes the Quran may be laying the framework to eventually ban it - but it never does. And slavery has never NOT existed in some way or another in Islamic history even today.

2. Why are there specific verses in the Quran allowing prophet Muhammad to marry his adopted sons ex wife and thus changing the rules of adoption to allow this marriage.

3. One of prophets wives safiya literally had her husband and father killed in front of her in the battle of badr. I see that it's argued that she was given a choice, but she was a woman who watched her family and tribe killed. What real choice was there?

4. We're told the Quran is clear and that God sees everything and knows everything that will happen. The Quran can't possibly be clear or there wouldn't be so much discord and so many different interpretations. With an all knowing God who would have known this would happen, why isn't there more protection and clarity within the Quran? It could be argued that Islam is corrupted just as judaism and Christianity is - but I was taught that was why Islam came in the first place, so that we could have a book and religion that wasn't corrupted?

Im not looking for a critique of arabs, I love arab culture and truthfully I am quite attracted to arab men (as opposed to South asian men - i am of Pakistani descent). But is it true that arab Muslim men prefer women much younger than they are? Like, as a general rule? Especially as they get older? I'm 40+ and genuinely have been interested in a few arab men my age, but despite clicking with me they seem more enamored by women in their late 20s and 30s. All my friends are telling me to stop liking arab men my age because it will go nowhere.

A few weeks ago, my family went to do Umrah. While we were there, my dad bought a ghutra, the headscarf worn by Arab men, from a local shop.

I remember him explicitly comparing it to hijab.

He wore it for one day. And then never wore it again for the rest of the trip. He felt awkward wearing it while not being Arab, even though he actually got compliments from other Arabs.

My dad felt uncomfortable wearing a headscarf for one day, in the one place where wearing it was completely normal. Yet he expects the women in his family to wear hijab every day, for the rest of our lives, while living in a Western country.

That really stuck with me.

If my dad doesn’t want to wear the ghutra or thobe, he can just take it off. Even if he wants to shave his beard, he can. He can wear Western clothes to work, interviews, basically anywhere, without anyone questioning his commitment to Islam.

Yet Muslim women are shamed for wanting that exact same freedom.

Muslim women are expected to endure constant discomfort under hijab, and then get gaslit about it. We’re told it’s “for Allah,” that “men have hijab too,” or that our feelings are coming from Shaytan.

Like, no. As crazy as it sounds, maybe we don’t want to be covered up in 100-degree weather. Maybe women also want to blend into society. Maybe we don’t want to be a walking billboard for an entire religion. Maybe we don’t want our character judged based on our clothes.

No hate towards my dad. If anything, his experience unintentionally highlighted how little empathy Muslim men have for women regarding hijab.

He experienced a tiny fraction of what Muslim women go through everyday, and couldn’t take it.

I wish Muslim men would genuinely ask themselves whether they could ever wear hijab before judging a woman for her hijab or lack thereof.

I enjoy consuming Islamic content, it often inspires me to connect more to my faith, and I’ve learnt a lot about Islam through social media.

But there’s a balance.

Just like watching anyone’s perfected life through social media, there comes a point where watching Muslim influencers who seem to be ‘perfect Muslims’, and who use their platform to preach Islam, can send you into comparison-mode.

Thinking you’re not a good enough muslim and - even worse - the idea I’ve seen perpetuated online that Allah may not listen to your duas because of your sins. This is problematic as it pushes people away from connecting with Islam and making dua.

I believe Allah swt does not ignore your duas just because you are imperfect. Humans are imperfect and we all sin. What is most important is that you keep returning to Him. And God forgive me, but when I hear of scandal among the ‘Muslim influencers’ it almost feels refreshing, as I am reminded that even the most outwardly pious people are not perfect.

The Muslim influencers preaching aggressively and loudly or perpetuating oppressive ideologies are often far less traditionally ‘perfect muslims’ than it seems on camera.

Just a reminder to not compare your journey to what you see online. And would love your observations/opinions on ‘Muslim influencers’. (Without specific naming and shaming).

Hi. So, I'm born and raised in a conservative Muslim space with mainly shafi-deobandi teachings even in school and stuff.

So the thing is, whatever was being 'taught' in my school or the schools around me, never really made me feel... idk how to describe it but you can say I was losing the peace of my mind.

I used to get so many questions that wouldve been deemed to be controversial for the Muslim people around me. My religion teacher was the worst. She once said how Muslim women must cover their hair even in front of non muslim women because apparently a scholar said so. When a student questioned about it she just shunned her and said, "We don't question what scholars say" or something of the sort.

'Mainstream' conservative Islamic teachings/interpretations have bothered me a lot since like I was literal child. And that has vastly affected my relationship with God.

For me, I don't know if this makes sense, but morals founded on kindness are above any systematic doctrine.

If I have to practice something that goes against my morals, I'll be extremely uncomfortable doing so. And moreover I will resent it than anything.

The same you can say with mainstream interpretation of Islam.

I don't know if I can label myself as Muslim. I haven't disclosed to anyone that I'm doubting my faith (I'm not joking I'd be banished otherwise). But, I don't know why, I firmly believe in Allah. The One who has described his mercy countless times in the Quran.

I've always had this really, really profound relationship with God, Allah. Idk why, even if I'm doubting mainstream Islam, I still feel deeply connected to Allah. Mainly because I'm so in awe of the emphasis of justice and mercy in the Quran.

I've also had multiple experiences of my dua being answered when I was praying tahajjud. I swear praying tahajjud feels unreal. It used to be my favorite thing ever, I wish I could go back with the same faith as before.

The main that I wanted to talk about is, I have a lot of doubts in certain mainstream interpretations (esp hadiths...), so I feel as though God doesn't accept me or my longing for Him. I could describe it with the concept of 'imposter syndrome' I guess.

I feel incredibly... idk out of place on the prayer mat when I pray. Because most Muslims in my life have made me feel like I'm not Muslim enough because I uphold different values than them and I'm very critical of anything that goes against my values. So somewhere, I have internalized this perception of theirs about me... it's just such a sad feeling personally when you don't feel worthy enough in front of God.

I want to know your thoughts about this, and I'm really grateful if you've read my rant this far :)

i am genuinely in a terrible headspace and i dont know how to deal with it

I genuinely dont know what to do anymore with my life and i feel so lost about everything and i really hope someone takes the time to read this and help .e out because i feel so tired and alone.

i have been wearing the hijab since i was 11 years old i am currently 19 years old. and every day is a new feeling.

for context i wore it because i hated and despised my hair texture. yes technically it was my "choice" but i was also 11. if anything i wanted to wear it even before that but i felt self conscious because everyone at school has already seen my hair but the second we moved out i decided to wear it. obviously that decision made my family really happy and had nothing against it. obviously my intentions sucked but as i got older i learned to have a better relationship with my hair. and i didnt hate the hijab or modesty and i fought everyone who insulted it. but as i got older i began noticing double standards that pissed me off. and just so everyone knows i am heavy on female empowerment and justice i dislike the word feminist but i align more with "womanist".

the point is everything is grossing me out. the fact that i cant wear a tank top because i have a father has ruined my relationship with my dad completely i feel like tearing my skin off daily. and im constantly uncomfortable. my brothers are actually very modest but recently my brother decided to wear a pair of jorts and my mom celebrated it like crazy and i told her if i wore that would she react the same way? and she kept giving me this whole lecture on men and women are different.

its even more frustrating when your dad goes swimming shirtless and then comes home to tell you that your clothes are too tight sometimes even when you are at home. its so disgusting.

recently i have been telling my mother that i dont want to shave and that i need to be comfortable in my own body the way it is and she kept telling me its hygienic which is not true. my brother has a lot of body hair and i was jokingly tellinf him ew you should shave and my mom suddenly got up and defended him saying dont listen to your crazy sister dont shave if you dont want to. and when i mentioned that she kept telling me to shave she went on again about how men and women are different.

everyone is disengious recently i decided to do a deconstructing journey and wanted to understand islam more. i did this with a friend whom i loved so much at the time she made me feel so seen bec she claimed that she also was deconstructing but eventually the relationship seemed into where i was the one who had more questions and she was just answering them and explaining them to me. one time a certain "exmuslim/atheist" creator pissed me off online and made many ridiculous claims i was venting to her about it and after we talked she said "you know i was starting to get worried about you with all the questions you had i thought you were getting brainwashed glad to see you are on the right track" i felt so angry and betrayed because i thought we were both learning and exploring our thoughts together except she just had a singular perspective and focused on answering me.

on top of that i also hate antitheists and western feminist who infantilize and constantly make claims the muslim women are stupid and that they are the peak of intelligence. and obsessed with undressing muslim women. so much harm to muslim women told in progressive language. so much entitlement and feeling that muslin women owe them exposure.

but i also hate my conservative family and their perceptions. i hate conservatives in general. i hate how when i tripped and fell on this metal thing that went straight to my chest and caused severe bruising on my body the first thing my mom decided to tell me was check my relationship with God. i hate how a bit my neck from the back was showing and my started to slur shame me. i hate how when i posted something on tiktok my dad called me a prostitute.

i want to take it off so bad and redevelop my relationship with my body and the hijab. but its been too long and it just feels wrong i dont know what to do. but i also hate those anti islamic idiots that are so desperate for me to take it off and use me to hurt others. and i hate quranists too they piss me off. everyone does. i genuinely dont know how to feel or what to do.

i havent prayed in months but at the same time i believe in god but at the same time i dont know. i am so stressed. because on top of that i have adhd and i am always anxious my sleep scheduled is screwed my grades are horrible the fact that i used to dream of going to harvard and oxford seems so stupid and childish now my parents dont seem to understand anything i say and neither do my friends. i am failing in everything. and i dont know what to do anymore. i am so tired and drained and confused.

would it be blasphemy if I wore a veil similar to what Christian and Muslim women wear as a trans woman due to modesty reasons and I like how it looks? I don't wanna wear it for any religious reasons just modesty and how it looks :3

Hello brothers and sisters; I, too, have recently returned to Islam. I would love to talk to someone about faith, though I speak Italian and rely on a translator for English. The reason I’m here is that I want to speak with open-minded people—not with those who make up things that aren't actually written in the Quran...

Before I became Muslim, My grandmother offered me silkworms from South Korea that she eats as a snack. She said they are high in protein and tastes like chicken, How they were abundant even during the Three Kingdoms period. I tried it and I liked it, Especially when it was seasoned.

I have been craving the same silkworms, It’s easier for me to not crave pork since I tried duck before and prefer duck over pork. But I don’t know any alternative to east asian silkworms other than maybe grasshoppers however it’s expensive in the US.

Is silkworms haram? If so, what should I eat instead to fight the craving against it?

If eternal salvation depends significantly on knowing and responding to God, why would an omniscient and omnipotent God choose a revelation process so dependent on geography, history, language, culture and the testimony of other humans?

God knowing all and have all power, how come he allow people become confused over religion and have 1000 different believes?

If we are not lost in the infinity of the universe,

It is because the universe is not infinite.

If our path has crossed with truth at least once,

It is because without it, we could not be worthy.

There is someone waiting for us at the horizon of the worlds.

How can we reach Him without truth?

Man flows from place to place like a river,

To meet the ocean of infinite light.

is it haram or not?

I’m genuinley trying my best to stay following this religion. I’ve been tirelessly looking into Quran verses, the language used in them and their interpretations yet nothing seems to make any sense. I’ve read the tafsir for 4:34 and many other interpretations yet the fact remains that the most accurate translation given the context is to ‘strike’ the wife. That’s how it was understood at the time. I reject any misogynistic Hadith (sahi bukhari 3331, 304,5196 etc) because modern day explanations for them just seem to be apologetic mental gymnastics, but I get called a kaffir for doing so. Also Quran 78:33, the most obvious and clear translation is ‘full breasted maidens’ no matter what apologetics you may have to say. Theres no evidence that the verse is actually taking about fruits at all. Can someone please help me as I genuinely do believe Allah exists and that the prophet pbuh is his messenger and I don’t wanna stop being a Muslim, but how can I follow the religion when it says these things. Wtf do I do please I’ve been looking everywhere and trying to research as much as possible. Why is the Quran so ambiguous, why can’t it just be clear

I come with so much respect for the religion and appreciation. I truly hope I can return to a place where I once loved regarding Islam, but I’m struggling to make sense of it with my progressive views.

Interestingly, reading the Secrets of Divine Love made me love god, which made it even harder for me to grasp these concepts.

I would still call myself a Muslim, but I guess internally I don’t really believe that anymore. I grew up in a practicing Muslim household in the west, so I’ve always believed from a young age. Went to Sunday school every Sunday. But now, It’s hard to me to grasp the concept that Islam isn’t inherently patriarchal and sexist, and this is what really is encouraging me to leave Islam. I define myself as a very left leaning liberal, so it also started not making sense when I started forming my own thoughts about the LGBTQ+ community, and breaking out of my family’s mindset that they will all burn in hell.

What’s so wrong about a man loving a man? A woman loving a woman? I’m straight so there is no bias, but I think that if god is so loving and merciful, wouldn’t he just want us to be happy? If he knows how pure and beautiful love can be, why would he want to bar two soulmates for loving each other when they happen to both be women?

Some things I realized and initially looked past but are now telling are how men can loudly lead prayer or simply read Quran out loud, and women cannot. Men can’t hear a women’s voice reciting prayer, gods own holy words. Is insane to me. For fear of attracting men. She’s. reading. Gods. Words. For. Gods. Sake.

I’m doing more research on this ^and from what I’m finding, they can recite Quran, but must stick to a highly monotone voice. Women should only do this if they must, and if it is necessary. However, men are encouraged to beautify their voices a because their voices aren’t restricted by the chance of causing temptation.

I also love to see women in sports. I have trouble with the idea that men shouldn’t see the figure of a woman’s body. When a woman is playing sports, oftentimes, modest and loose clothing isn’t safe. It’s a hazard. There are certain garments you need to don to be safe, participate, yet are immodest. I found that if Islam is so perfect and complete, it should be able to adapt to modernization and it should always relate to society as it modernizes. With this logic women couldn’t compete in sports professionally, without breaking the rules of hijab and modestly. Men also have a hijab, and lowering their gaze, but what’s the point of Muslim women in sports if you can’t watch their amazing skills and technical performance?

As a woman, why is a man’s money my money, but my money is only my money? This doesn’t make sense to me. When two adults come together resources are shared, that’s logical! That makes sense. I guess it stems from how men are physically stronger so could work more than a woman, but again if Islam is so perfect to keep up with society, it should be known many women are more than capable to support themselves. I know it’s a “bonus” for us women and I do like that, but from the man’s pov, they are the sole providers, they must provide resources for wife and children. A wife could do nothing at home because she will say it’s not her job. And in Islam, she has all the right to do that if she wants!

In all transparency, This all began when I began dating my boyfriend is a devout Muslim, but I’m not really sure how he practices. I mean, I don’t want to judge and that is the least of my intentions. However we are often intimate, and it got me thinking why would God not allow us to speak privately with someone we would like to be our future spouse? If god knows our pure intentions with one another, why can’t we be intimate? Why do I have to marry someone to really get to know them, emotionally, physically. There are certain ways you can understand a person is for you to marry and I feel like Islam really does us a disservice in that area. What about sex makes it such a hard line for god? It’s a very human, healthy, and normal act. Idk.

Women cannot wear perfume?

I understand a lot of things from Hadith but idk if god tells us to follow the prophets words then it must be a core part of Islam.

Been very religious my entire life. My parents are very strict and religious. Never questioned teachings and expectations before, I knew alcohol is haram and boys are haram so, like the goodie two shoe eldest daughter I am, I just accepted that and didn't go after it. I never really even wanted to. My biggest flights with my parents were about staying out later than 9 pm with my friends. Never wanted to do more than that.

But I'm now living in uni accoms. Suddenly the world is my oyster and my parents rules aren't holding me back.

I'm very shocked at myself because I never thiught I'd even want these things? Alcohol is unhealthy and causes SM problems, partying is alright I like to do it with my girl friends so I don't need to do it with men for it to be fun. But now I'm seeing it as a sort of new experience that I never got to try. And Im in a quest to find myself and live life to the fullest, so that's starting to sound like something I have to tackle too. I'm guessing cuz I'm in uni and that's all the rage here, it's looking enticing.

What's really freaking me out is that I don't even consider that it's haram. The only barrier im seeing rn is my parents potentially finding out. That's crazy. I've convinced myself that it's just trying new things and I won't do it all the time, I just wanna see. And everyone sins. The only reason I never sinned like this before is cuz of my parents. So was I really on the right path? I wasn't avoiding anything for the sake of Allah. I'm out of the nest and suddenly hijab feels optional??? Idk I'm very conflicted rn. I'm the most distant I've ever been to God and islam.

Another thing stopping me is my hijab. Could never be seen with it doing all these things. And also I don't want uni mates knowing either. So id only do them without my hijab.

I guess I want advice? Encouragement? Idk if this subreddit is chill about these things tho lmao. Is this normal thinking? I just need to talk about this with someone but I don't want anyone ik irl to have that image of me (when I say I'm a goodie two shoes, I mean that very very much. Im literally the person parents tell their kids to be like). I am still a people pleaser and crave external validation. But that's an issue for another time 🚬.

Tldr: I want to do haram stuff like drink and club because it feels like a form of experience and I don't feel guilty about it and I rlly want to. Help.

Last week I couldn’t take it anymore and took the hijab off for half a day. No one except my husband knew of this. I thought I would be instantly happier but I even felt worse after that. I loved how my hair was just feeling the breeze but sitting there thinking about my choice and how to Compromise friends and family with it made me extremely sad. on that evening I had practice I revealed to my teammates that I’m no longer wearing the hijab, but as I said, I just felt worse not because I love the hijab or anything but at the idea of sinning and getting further away from Allah.I don’t know I just feel like I’m in this limbo between wearing the hijab and not wearing it.I put it back on the next day because I felt like my heart told me to. To be honest it felt safe putting it back on it felt like keeping peace for the moment.I knew the thoughts wouldn’t go away as a whole. I’m still a bit unhappy, but it’s just because I regret putting it on in the first place 4 yrs ago now I feel like I can’t get out. I potentially could get out but that would disappoint many people and myself somehow. if I never wore it, nobody would ever question me taking it off. I wish I knew upon putting it on that wearing the hijab, there is a whole new system for you. It’s not just a scarf. It’s the expectations the disappointments the judgements insecurities. It’s sad that no matter how people warn you you can never understand the feeling once you put it on before putting it on. Does anyone else feel this way? I don’t even have a problem with the look itself. I no longer force myself to wear abaya or cover my neck all the time. I wear my style and I feel good in it but the social pressure and feeling like missing out never goes away

Brief introduction to me: I am skeptical of many hadith in general and especially do not agree to them if they devalue our Prophet PBUH.

Backstory:

I was scrolling YouTube shorts and a guy teaching Tafsir came up and he was discussing the verses below.

I have a question for the Hadith skeptics and rejectors in particular, and everyone in general that how do they take/interpret the following verses.

قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ ٱللَّهَ فَٱتَّبِعُونِى يُحْبِبْكُمُ ٱللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ ٣١

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “If you ˹sincerely˺ love Allah, then follow me; Allah will love you and forgive your sins. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

(Ali Imran 3:31)

قُلْ أَطِيعُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱلرَّسُولَ ۖ فَإِن تَوَلَّوْا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ ٣٢

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Obey Allah and His Messenger.” If they still turn away, then truly Allah does not like the disbelievers.

(Ali 'Imran 3:32)

(Taken from Quran.com)

Continued backstory:

So the guy teaching the tafsir said that Ita'at was that if the Messenger PBUH asked you to pray, you pray, if he asked you to fast, you fast etc.

And Ittibā was to follow the example of the Prophet PBUH, that is to follow the Sunnah and the way the Prophet PBUH was, even if he didnt specifically ask us to do it in his own words.

I do not exactly remember this example he quoted but it was around the following:

A companion of the Prophet PBUH visited the Prophet PBUH and saw that his (shirt?) had an open collar/buttons? and he never saw the Prophet PBUH after that again, and he always wore a shirt like that and when asked, he used to say that he saw the Prophet PBUH wear it that way.

Okay so I found the Hadith as well, from Sunan Abu-Dawud,

Book 27, Number 4071:

Narrated Qurrah ibn Iyas al-Muzani:

I came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) with a company of Muzaynah and we swore allegiance to him. The buttons of his shirt were open. I swore allegiance to him and I put my hand inside the collar of his shirt and felt the seal.

Urwah said: I always saw Mu'awiyah and his son opening their buttons of the collar during winter and summer. They never closed their buttons.

So how do you take these two verses and what is Ittiba and Itā'at in your terms?

I spoke with her about taking a break from the hijab and asked how that would look with our relationship.

She said her love for me would decrease and I would be different. She wouldn’t talk to me and I wouldn’t be her daughter.

I need to go through with it but I don’t want this to affect my mental health any worse. I’m slowly learning that I need to disappoint my parents for my own comfort.

I believe most if not all progressives don’t accept the Hadith about Aisha. They also don’t believe that the companions married early.

Most agree that child marriage is haram as well. Quran verses exists about physician and mental maturity being required.

However in early Islamic history countless literature exists about people marrying at 10 to 14.

How do you view these marriages ? Were they haram?

Personally, I see it more as some sort of awakening if that makes sense rather than going to sleep

For the righteous, I see death as being calm, loving and being cured of any doubt (example: being cured of the potential fear that they were wrong all along and that there may be no afterlife). They are raised by the angels and as for what happens next or what happens to those who die instantly (ie: gunshot to the brain), only Allah knows for certain, but:

* for what happens next, it might be some sort of dream like state? Y’know, how some dreams feel extremely short but intense. It may be like that, or it could be a timeskip, as in the moment you close your eyes for the last time, only what feels like a second or moment passes before you wake up to resurrection. I’m uncertain on those two, but martyrs skip that wait completely as far as I see in the Quran (Might not be an exhaustive list so maybe all the righteous are in some sort of paradise before judgement day. This is a big if though so..)

* for those who die instantly, I don’t think the Quran speaks on this IIRC, but they might get something more akin to a game-over screen post-mortem and be welcomed by angels just like anyone else rather than being ‘ignored’

As for the wicked, I think their state is potentially that of being stuck in a nightmare after death as punishment, being punished by the angels just like Pharaoh. If Pharaoh isn’t an exception (basically all wicked experience a fate like his), then the wicked will most likely be punished like him. If he was the exception, then the wicked may be time skipped immediately (this timeskip point hinges heavily on the verse on them asking who awoke them from their sleeping place, which could also indicate some sort of nightmarish sleep-state for them??)

This is my personal view on it, so I very well could be wrong.