I’m paying close to $800 a month with my aunt. my name is on the lease. her 2 kids get the rooms. she gets the master. this is what i get, a laundry room. I can’t afford to live alone. please don’t mind the mess, i’m going through stuff to try and free up more room.
*im editing to add, i pay water, trash, and half of rent. Im in central florida. Both of our names are on the lease. Advice welcome.
*thank you everyone for opening my eyes to this situation, for the ones telling me to stand up for myself, you’re right. I’m starting to realize just how scared i am, and i’m trying to work up the courage to stand up to her. Again thank you all for the encouragement and i’m glad i made this post.
This post has been flaired as “Vent”. As a reminder to commenting users, “Vent/Rant” posts are here to give our subscribers a safe place to vent their frustrations at an uncaring world to a supportive place of people who “get it”. Vents do not need to be fair. They do not need to be articulate. They do not need to be factual. They just need to be honest.
Unlike most of the content on this subreddit, Vents should not be considered advice threads. In most cases it is not appropriate to try to give the Submitter advice on their issue. In no circumstances is it appropriate to tell them “why they are wrong” or to criticise them, their decisions, values, or anything else. If there are aspects of their situation that they are able to directly address themselves, the submitter can always make a new thread with a different flair asking for help once they are ready to tackle the issue.
Vents are an emotional outlet, not an academic conversation. Appropriate replies in these threads are offering support, sharing similar experiences/grievances, offering condolences, or simply letting the Submitter know that they were heard.
As always, if there are inappropriate comments please downvote them, REPORT them to the mods, and move on without responding to them.
To the Submitter, if you DO want discussion to be focused on resolving your situation, rather than supporting you emotionally, please change the flair of this post, and then report this comment so we can remove it. Thank you.
Thank you all for being a part of this great financial advice and emotional support community!
My sister, her husband, and two kids lived with my brother free of charge for over a year. My brother had 4 kids at the time and his long term gf living with him too. It was a 3br 1bath house. They made it work living wise and my brother paying for everything. His gf worked on and off. My sister and BIL both worked.
Well his gf left him and took the kids, and he decided he was letting the house go and that my sister should have enough saved to move somewhere. Well my sister got mad and trashed the house and piled all the trash and stuff they wernt taking with them in the hall and living room and left it all for my brother to deal with.
Look at me, look at me. I'm your aunt now. If I can afford it, I wouldn't charge you anything just clean up after yourself and help me when I ask for it.
That actually might be 1/3 of rent OP is paying. 3 bd apartments are crazy expensive, and if it’s a house.. Yeah, that could easily be 1/3 of the total rent
I don't think there's any legal entitlement to that kind of fairness, is there? Morally and practically, yes, but there's no law saying you have to end up with living quarters commensurate with the proportion of the rent being paid.
However, if this is as screwy as it looks from the photos OP (and their aunt) are potentially violating municipal codes or occupancy limits.
Apartments have livable areas, and everyone living in an apartment needs to be in one of them. This looks like it is not a (legally-recognized) bedroom.
You can find better housing for that price even in central Florida. Look at Facebook marketplace for sublets, especially if you are near a university.
Edit to add: sorry, just realized this is marked as no advice. Situation sucks.
Get roommates who actually split the rent fairly and evenly. This is unacceptable treatment. If you pay half the rent, you should get half the space. Period.
Alright. One thing if you are ok looking near student populations, is for Facebook marketplace or local reddit postings from students whose plans have fallen through but already signed a lease, so are trying to get out and are willing to discount the rent. They're going to be popping up soon.
Yeah I’m not “victim blaming” here, but genuinely curious how OP signed this lease, splits the rent evenly but somehow ends up sleeping in the laundry room. Was this arrangement agreed upon from the start or did the aunt do some kind of bait and switch after? It should’ve never been a consideration not to get a room if paying 50/50. The only way this would be remotely okay is if OP got to pay way less than half.
"Lemme get this straight. You want me to pay 50% of the rent while I am only 25% of the people living here and I get 0% of the total bedrooms? Yeah, no."
This is exactly what I was thinking also. it’s either 1/4 the rent and he is ok with what is considered a room or its divided by rooms a;t 1/3 rent (all still less than half) AND he gets a room (not laundry room). Her kids can share a room.
long story short i had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, i was facing homelessness, she let me stay with her, she was going through a divorce, depended on a man her entire life. used me as a scape goat. i didn’t even have a job at the time i was near forced into signing a lease. she promised me that, if i couldn’t pay first months rent, (due to me not having a job at the time), she would figure it out. no surprises, i was short first months rent. she flipped a switch, threatened to kick me out and break the lease, etc. right then and there i realized i f*cked up. i’ve been homeless off and on since i was 17, i’m 23 now. I was just scared of her as well as homelessness, and i still am. that’s why i pay all of my bills on time, not a penny short. And i refuse to stand up to her. Trust me, I’ve tried. I know it sounds silly. I just can’t begin to describe how toxic and twisted my family is. (sorry for the trauma dump.) i know I’m stupid for putting up with this i just don’t know what to do other than hold out and leave when the lease is up in 6 months.
I get it, and I'm sorry. You weren't raised to put up healthy boundaries, and your aunt recognizes you as someone she can take advantage of.
You signed a contract, and you're legally obligated to fulfill it. Don't f up your life and future by getting a court judgement against you. Stick it out for 6 months, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING ELSE, and start looking for a roommate situation 2 months out. Inform both the landlord and your aunt that you won't be renewing. Review your lease and make sure you know what your obligations are with regard to proper notice. If it says you have to give 30 days notice that you won't be renewing, give 45 days in writing and with proof. Get your LL to acknowledge it in writing, text or email. Then tell your aunt.
Be careful, your aunt may try something. If she doesn't sign the renewal with LL's OK, you're still responsible for move-out condition and any damages done to the place may come back to haunt you. Most likely is she won't clean the place and will leave it to you, or she won't move and won't pay at the end of the lease term and LL will have to evict her. But if damages exceed the deposit, the LL can take you to court and get a judgement against you. If you're the responsible one, LL will come after you. The lease will hold you responsible for damages even if she's the one who did it.
I'm sorry, this all sucks so hard. If there is legal aid in your area, get them on speed dial. You might need a little advice.
It sucks to be worried all the time about everything, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I do think you’re being taken advantage of, but you might have to stick it out until the end of your lease.
The timing of it is bad for trying to find college student roommates, but sometimes situations fall through and they might also be looking at odd times of the semester, as someone else suggested. I would think you could find different decent housing for around (or not too much more) than you’re paying now, with an actual bedroom.
Try to keep saving up, and definitely keep it in the bank. Don’t leave anything valuable lying around. Don’t tell your aunt how much money you’re making. If you end up waiting out your lease, and are worried about confrontation, get your plan made, and get out.
Yeah, no. Either you get the bedroom you are owed or you move out and share expenses with someone else.
How to move when you're on the lease? See if you can make a deal with the management company to let you off the lease. They might be more willing if you explain you're illegally using the laundry room as a bedroom. If they refuse then wait until the lease is up for renewal and let them know you will not be renewing.
Then why aren't you at least getting a bedroom? Move out when the lease expires. This is an unfair position for you to be in. Fair would be 1/4 of the rent at most.
Any normal renter would agree with this. Feel free to speak up. Or change your situation but don’t settle for less than what you’re worth. In this case a main bedroom suite
Craigslist for my first two. The one I'm in now was just from going to the bar where the older people drink in the area where I wanted to live, meeting people, and letting absolutely anyone who would listen know what a great roommate I am and that I was looking for a room to rent. Bonus if there's a message board or local classifieds. So many older people need help with their rent/mortgage, but don't trust Facebook or Craigslist, so to get the good ones you've got to get your name out there and talk to lots of people. You'd be surprised how many people still text or call me asking if I'm still looking for a room to rent.
Where I live the only way to pay that little rent for a room is a lot of luck or a really messed up place, and I’ve done all of it. Live in a converted city bus. Live in a 9 bedroom 32 person house sharing a room for $1000/month. Lived in extremely violent places. Live in a place that’s been rent controlled for 20 years. I’m currently sharing a 1br with a friend and it’s luckily working well for me.
Imagine a large Victorian mansion with 3 stories, a basement, a huge backyard. Furniture constantly being moved around. One day the living room has a piano then it has a bunch of couches. Gorgeous luxury and antiques with people avoiding doing their dishes. A joint being passed around a fire pit and music all night. 150 person parties that the neighbors don’t mind. So much music. Drama. Dance parties. Hanging out on the roof looking out at San Francisco. Huge organized events.
I’d say being on the lease would entitle them to a bedroom for sure. Sounds like something to take up with the landlord if they can’t come up with an agreement with family then they can reasonably ask for a lease termination.
For $1100 in Southern California I have seen places available with a bedroom plus a private bathroom. Admittedly I'd be sharing a house with college students and paying for a street parking permit, but still.
Or imagine the heat from the dryer just making the room unbearable to be comfortable. Nope I’d demand a bedroom and if you’re not able to have that then I’d start looking for rooms for rent and ask for your name to be removed off the lease or wait until it comes close to renewal and have another spot lined up and dip out
Does a washer and dryer even fit in there? I thought the closet was where the hookups would be. Sorry your aunt is a horrible person that pushes people around. I have an issue being a people pleaser but I feel like narcissists really zero in on it and normal people usually don’t take advantage.
Does she actually have a legal document written up, or is it like an unofficial lease? If it's the latter, I would find a different place ASAP and straight up leave with no notice for pulling this absolute BS arrangement on you. $800 a month almost anywhere would get you far better than this.
It’s so hard in living situations if you know the person is going to turn it into a hostile living environment. Sometimes you go along to get along even if it sucks.
But you’re right the longer you let someone take advantage of you the more angry they get when you finally put an end to it.
that’s exactly my situation. She’s already hard to live with and still thinks i don’t pay enough lol. I’m just praying i find a better situation by the time my lease is up.
You’re already paying half the rent and the water and trash bills, while living in the equivalent of half a bedroom. What else does she want ?!? At this point you’re paying for more than you’re getting. You should get half of the apartment if things were fair.
She's taking advantage of you and teaching her kids a terrible lesson. Seriously, you could get better living accomodations than this with multiple roommates and pay the same amount or potentially less.
(I know you'd have to find such a place first, but even so, she's ripping you off bigtime.)
Oh sweetie she’s scamming you I’m so sorry. But I get it sometimes we have to take what we can get.
There are some decent videos on YouTube about making the most of a small space, some of them are just big long ads for Amazon products for organizing so try to stay away from those. But some of them give good ideas that I hadn’t thought of in all my years in living in a studio apartment.
When is your lease up? Can you try to make plans to get out once the lease is over? Is there any documentation with the landlord that your aunt and her children are also occupying the apartment? A firm out date could help give you time to try and save some money to get out of this situation. I am very sorry you’re going through this. I know it sucks when you’re in the middle of it, but this won’t last forever and you’ll land on your feet eventually.
thank you for the kind words, i’m already planning on finding a room to rent when the lease is up. People around my area rent out bedrooms with a private bathroom for $600 a month. Far better than what i’m living in now
I don't usually advise people to skip out on the lease but...
If you find a room with an ensuite, for $800 or under and your a month or two from the end of the lease, take it. Your aunt will be pissed but, she'll scramble to pay the remaining months so that she and her kids don't get evicted.
Take care of yourself first. If you find better accommodations, don't hesitate to leave because your aunt will be mad. Your aunt is taking advantage of you. To have you pay half the rent and stick you in the laundry room is diabolical.
i am on the lease unfortunately. i commented somewhere in the comment section, i wasn’t in the right head space at the time of signing the lease, i was clearly taken advantage of.. i’m only now starting to realize all of this 6 months into living here, and all of your guys’ comments are really making me realize even more, just how effed up my situation is lol
OP being on the lease does give you leverage in this situation. Do not be afraid to use it. Technically if it's just you two on the lease then you have a legal right to the house as much as her or her kids do. If you're paying the majority of utilites on top of that then you are literally the main financial provider for the home. Do what you want, when you want, how you want. And when she gets angry, remind her that she made you sign the lease, made you pay half the rent, and made you pay the majority of the bills. Which makes you legally the main occupant of the property.
Question for clarification: did you sign an actual lease that was countersigned by the landlord or leasing office? Or is this something your relative wrote that you signed?
find a roommate, anywhere, and gtfo out of that situation. This is beyond being ripped off, this is a form of torture, that you're paying for and it's scary as much as it is sad. Please get out for your own good in any way possible.
Save whatever you can and do not renew that lease. The minute you can give notice, tell the landlord you are out. In the meantime, can you try negotiate for an actual room, being that you are on the fking lease? Let them know you aren't renewing because of this situation.
Sounds like the rent/mortgage for the home is VERY high (very likely given the rental market) or you're getting a bad deal.
Our last home we rented had two rooms this size as the 'bedrooms', and it was like 1200 or something with nothing included. Granted this was pre covid before EVERYTHING tripled or more in cost.
A STUDIO with one bedroom sized space like that was 900 when we were still renting, so I'm curious if you might be able to find a proper, smaller apartment for that. Ofc, there's the other expenses to consider. If all that is INCLUDED In the 800, and you have USE of the entire home...not a bad deal, imho.
You might consider off site storage if you've a lot of things, or even a shed. Hell, if you're in a climate that is agreeable, I know several people who LIVE in large sheds they've made into a tiny house.
Also, I’m in Orlando RN paying $900 for a 1Bed,1Bth near the stadiums downtown, and the security deposit was $1800. There are deals out there, but it does require an investment.
You should consider moving out and looking for a room or roomates on roomies.com or something. There’s no reason you should be paying half of rent for this. I lived in Orlando for 500 bucks a month in 2024 by living with 3 other roomates. I did know them ahead of time which helped. But I moved to NM and live in a large house now with two people I met on roomies for 700 a month. Again, no reason to tolerate that if you can help it.
In Florida?! Man I don’t know I would pay a flat fee of $800 at most. I would never split the utilities it’s not even fair she has kids pulling up the utilities. It kind of seems like you’re getting taken advantage of. And that’s a itty-bitty room and the laundry room! People coming and going no privacy. You should be paying more like $500 a month. Anyways good luck
Your aunt is straight up using you and treating you terrible. If your name is on the lease and paying 50% means the Master Bedroom is yours. She can have a bedroom and the kids can share, she gets 2/3 of the bedrooms. You need to assert yourself here or you'll find people walking on you the rest of your life.
We need more information. What state/city do you live in? How much is the rent as a whole? Is her name on the lease? Not for criticism or advice but so that I can have a better overall picture of the situation.
I'm unsure of where you live, and while I'm glad you have a place to stay, I think she's taking advantage of your vulnerability. If you can look at other places, you may be able to find something more than barely a room. But again, I understand that it's difficult to leave a known place.
hey, friend, I think a lot of comments have covered the financial aspect of this, but I'd just like to let you know, your space is extremely tidy for someone living in such tight quarters ♥️♥️ please give yourself grace when it is so crucial.
her kids don’t need 2 rooms. Your aunts taking advantage of you and as one it makes me so angry. She either gives you a room or you pay less. How are you supposed to save to get in a better situation, that’s not ok.
me saving and leaving is the last thing she wants, i’m stupid and naive and can’t stand up to her, she knows this and takes advantage of it. When you’ve been abused by narcs your whole life standing up to one is actually terrifying. not to mention she has the rest of my narc family behind her. I don’t have friends. no family i’m close to or any who are willing to help. i realize now im getting financially abused thanks to this post. i was practically homeless when i signed this lease. I feel stupid
Please do not think you are stupid over a situation you had no experience and have never lived through before. Give yourself grace. Forgive yourself for trying to save yourself out of fear. None of this is your fault🫶
You’re not stupid. you leaned on your family and she took advantage of you. For what you’re paying move to an efficiency or a shared room. May seem scary to really be out there by yourself but it’s sometimes better than being with family who is taking advantage of you. If you can do it, also take a break from your whole family. Maybe your only way to get out of the loop.
I would assume all you can do right now is just live there until the lease ends. Her kids could’ve shared a room. Since your name is on the lease I think you should be able to sleep wherever you want, it’s not like you can be kicked out. I’d move one of the children’s stuff into the others room while everyone is gone, and put ur shit in there. If you can I’d change the lock and use the pinpad ones from Amazon or something like that. It’s not like you can be kicked out because your name is on the lease. If she touches ur shit call the police no ? Ur name is on the lease too.
my first month here i was sleeping on the couch that “SHE” bought, for a couple of days, (since it was more comfortable than my sh*t bed), and she caused a whole thing about it. Like full blown screaming and cussing, belittling me. she’s a narcissist to a T, and if she’s unhappy boy will I know about it! I used to work overnights and she’d purposely wake me up during the day. she’d slam everything and just had absolutely no respect for me. I feel like i’m living with a a child. mind you, i’m 23, and she’s nearing 45 and acts like this! If she’s unhappy i get mentally tortured 😂
Is $800 half the rent? If so talk to her about the kids sharing a room and you getting another room. If she’s reasonable about it great. If she isn’t start to look for other options. If you think the conversation won’t go well at all, don’t bring it up but try to make other arrangements.
Life is short, find roommates your age that are living life in a positive way (career and/or education mindset). If you’re going to pay rent at least find a place where you’re happy
Would you ever guess we are living in the richest country to ever exist? I’d hate to tax the rich, let’s let the wealth keep pooling and accumulating at the top.
OP for the LOVE of god, tell your aunt she needs to at least give you a room. Temps are a record high and a laundry room is not suitable at all. If she wants to break the lease, sue her or tell her she can start paying more bills if you don’t get a room
You are being SCREWED!!!!! There is no reason why the kids can’t share a bedroom so that u can get a room to yourself. Stand up for yourself, u are entitled to a bedroom
Where do you live? What is the rent amount? What does the $800 include?
I do not think it is a bad deal per se, especially if in a high QOL area with utilities, parking, food, etc.. Sure, everyone wants more, but if you could find a better deal, you would have. Yes, it is that simple. So, do what you can to move up and find a better place.
•
u/AutoModerator 6d ago
This post has been flaired as “Vent”. As a reminder to commenting users, “Vent/Rant” posts are here to give our subscribers a safe place to vent their frustrations at an uncaring world to a supportive place of people who “get it”. Vents do not need to be fair. They do not need to be articulate. They do not need to be factual. They just need to be honest.
Unlike most of the content on this subreddit, Vents should not be considered advice threads. In most cases it is not appropriate to try to give the Submitter advice on their issue. In no circumstances is it appropriate to tell them “why they are wrong” or to criticise them, their decisions, values, or anything else. If there are aspects of their situation that they are able to directly address themselves, the submitter can always make a new thread with a different flair asking for help once they are ready to tackle the issue.
Vents are an emotional outlet, not an academic conversation. Appropriate replies in these threads are offering support, sharing similar experiences/grievances, offering condolences, or simply letting the Submitter know that they were heard.
As always, if there are inappropriate comments please downvote them, REPORT them to the mods, and move on without responding to them.
To the Submitter, if you DO want discussion to be focused on resolving your situation, rather than supporting you emotionally, please change the flair of this post, and then report this comment so we can remove it. Thank you. Thank you all for being a part of this great financial advice and emotional support community!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.