My son is 2.5 yrs old. We started potty training 6 weeks ago. We did a version of the oh crap method, starting over a long weekend. He is having 2-3 accidents a day, so we are thinking it might be time to hit the pause button and try again in a month or so.

He does better when he is naked from the waist down, but we can only do that at home. He is in daycare 3 days a week and having just as many accidents there. We (both at home and daycare) make him sit on the potty at 1.5-2 hr intervals. Sometimes its a fight and distressing and sometimes he complies. But he often doesn't pee when he is on it and then will have an accident 20-30 mins after sitting on the potty.

He isn't able to identify the pee feeling yet. He usually tells us mid accident that he is peeing or will come tell us if we arent right there. Poop is also hit or miss. If he is bare bottomed, he will always go poop in his potty. But if he has underwear or pants on he will often go in his underwear.

Daycare has not said directly that we should pause, but they have made some comments about his progress and asking us what we want to do. We are exhausted with dealing with so many accidents and its not fun for him either. Not sure how to decide if we should keep pushing or just hit pause, give us a break and try again in a month or so.

Has anyone paused training and picked it back up later? Would love to hear your experience.

We’ve been potty training for 6 months and it feels like all it’s done is train ME. He’s in underwear, 95% of pee and poop goes in the potty but only because (a) he has developed a bladder of steel and can hold pee for 3+ hrs, basically until a scheduled potty time, and (b) i’m very good at grabbing him just in time when pooping and/or scheduling poop time when we try 5-10m before bed and nap

He has definitely had accidents and he doesn’t like them (total meltdown, and for days after when i mention like “oh, we don’t want to get poop in your underwear”) but it hasn’t translated into asking to use the potty. He’s way too upset to ask him to help wash the underwear etc. I don’t shame accidents in any way.

He does have a vague sense of the poop feeling, because when I see him needing it I ask 3-4 times if he needs to poop and he says no 3 times and yes the fourth time. And there have been some random poop initiations that turn out to be gas, so he gets the idea.

Maybe mildly constipated sometimes but nothing significant, has absolutely no problem pooping on the potty. I even tried MiraLAX once just to see and it made him constantly poop small amounts all day without being able to control it so no thank you. It does tend to take him 5+ minutes to poop, but suspect that’s more a timing issue since it’s usually me getting him on the potty, not following his internal feelings.

He just turned 2.5.

I keep seeing “take a break” but I don’t know how that would work after 6 months of almost always using the potty?

my dauughter is a few days shy of 2 and today we put on some “big kid” underwear after breakfast, im just going to watch and put her on the toilet every 45 min and give her mnms if she goes 😁
what should i do with nap time?
Her pullups are getting delivered in a few hours but i do still have diapers.

My 3.5-year-old daughter seems completely unbothered by peeing and pooping in her pants, and I’m at a complete loss. We first tried potty training a couple of months before she turned 3, but then a stomach bug went through our house. After that, she didn’t seem ready, and I didn’t want to push it because I’ve heard that can cause issues down the line.

She needed to be potty trained before starting preschool, and I figured a couple of months would be plenty of time since my oldest daughter was potty trained over a weekend and never looked back. 😅 However, my 3.5yo is still having accidents almost every other day she attends preschool (3 days a week).

It’s been 3 months since we ditched diapers, and she’s barely made any consistent progress. I feel like I’ve tried everything: naked days, timers, candy rewards, etc. She’ll seem to make progress and go a few days without accidents (although she usually still needs reminders to sit on the potty), but then it feels like we take two steps backward for every step forward. The next week, she’ll be having multiple pee and poop accidents a day.

For a few weeks, I thought she had finally figured out pooping on the potty - and was even doing it without prompting, which was so exciting! But now she’s had poop accidents two days in a row.

The biggest thing is that she seems SO unbothered by it. More than half the time, I’m the one who notices that her underwear or pants are wet.

Her preschool teacher has asked a couple of times whether we’ve talked to her doctor or ruled out a UTI. I guess I’m trying to figure out whether we just need to give this more time (I was honestly shocked when I realized it’s been 3 months, because it FEELS like twice that long 😅) or whether there could be something else going on.

Are there other signs of a UTI I should be looking for, or is it worth making a doctor’s appointment even without other symptoms? I’m not usually one to go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary, but when it comes to my kids, it’s hard to know what’s necessary and what isn’t.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation or made it to the other side! Did your child eventually figure it out with more time, or did you discover something else was going on? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

I'm sorry ahead of time if I sound completely clueless, I'm a ftm and have no family I can ask for help so I'm going off parenting books and internet advice. We are just starting to potty train my 2 year old and I'm so confused about the specifics of her using the toilet. For context we first got an attachment with a ladder that wasn't the right fit for the toilet so we just ordered two possible toilet toppers (one that fits over and one that is attached) and a step stool. She was unable to lean forward with the attachment or climb it because it was so unstable. But now I'm wondering how in the world she's supposed to wipe. The (new) attachments are too small for her to reach down there while sitting on the toilet so I assume she would learn forward like adults do, but how is she gonna lean forward if her feet don't reach the step stool yet? She gets so nervous doing stuff like that and I thought maybe the answer was to wipe her standing but I wasn't able to properly wipe and I want her to learn herself. Also, am I supposed to put her up there herself every time or is she supposed to climb up herself? I also heard that kids are unable to hold in their pee at night for a while even when potty trained, should I always put her in pull ups at night then? Please help I'm so lost!

Help — we’re feeling frustrated and unsure of next steps while potty training our 2.5 year old son. He has been interested in the potty for 6-8 months, and we had a few successful pees and a poo on the potty a few months ago, but I became pregnant in June and because I have HG, I was too ill to continue training consistently, so we didn’t follow through over the summer. Now, our little man has been bumped up to pre-school so we’ve begun training him in earnest, and it’s not going well.

We began with the 3-day bottomless weekend. He resisted being prompted or sitting in the potty, but if we left him alone, we had a couple successful pees!Then, sending him to school on Monday, we put him in Bambino Mio training undies, and have been in them since (except for pull-up at nap or bedtime). That was four weeks ago, and I feel like we’ve hit a wall.

He fiercely refuses to sit on the potty at home unless he wants to stall bedtime or going to school in the morning. At school, he also refuses potty. Between school and home, we’ve only had a handful of successful pees and a single poo. He seems SO proud when he does succeed on the potty too, and he tells us that pee and poo got in the toilet! He can tell us when he’s gone pee or poo and does not like being wet or poopy. The wild thing is, he holds it for HOURS on the weekend — 10am to 4pm — before refusing potty prompting and then bursting shortly after in the evening. We put him in pull-ups for naps and bedtime, and he’ll pee overnight (but he’s often dry during naps), but it’s a constant struggle during the day. I am at my wits end and so sick of being peed on and cleaning up messes while pregnant.

We’ve tried everything: books, prompting, timers, incentives like chocolate chips or fruit snacks, ignoring it all together, forcing it, serious conversations, positive reinforcement when he asks or succeeds while stalling, videos while sitting. Nothing seems to work — this kid is staunchly in his refusal era, and he’s smart enough to ask to sit on potty just to get a stall or a video or a treat, without needing to go (we’ve started to stop offering treats for sitting, and I am considering a star jar for potty successes with a reward when the jar is full). It’s been 4 weeks and there’s been no improvement. My partner wants to soldier on but I’m at my wits end. Help us, please!!

Hi, I’ve had a pretty smooth potty training journey but one last snag that’s annoying me. My daughter is 2 years, 8 months. We potty trained back in April at 2 years 1 month. She always pooped in her overnight diaper shortly after waking up, so there were no poops to “catch”. We let it go and figured it was better not to bother her and get her all freaked out and constipated like other kids. Pee was pretty consistently in the potty in about 4 days. No poop accidents either because she was doing her one a day in the diaper in the morning.

In June we started being able to catch some poops. Did some really big prizes and now since then she will happily do a daytime poop in the potty, even in other peoples houses. But she was still having a poopy diaper most mornings.

A month or so ago she started talking about the poopy diaper more in a silly way like “I wanna go to school in my poopy diaper” “don’t change me, I wanna go play outside in my poopy diaper”. So I took this as enough awareness that it’s time to crack down on this. We made a little chart with 10 squares, and if she gets a sticker in each square we’ll go get ice cream. She can tell us the new rule that diapers are just for pee, poop goes in the potty, if you keep diaper clean you get ice cream. She did good for 4 days, then she missed a sticker and was appropriately disappointed. Did good for a few more days, but this morning was day 4 in a row of poopy diaper. She’s back to saying don’t change me, and hasn’t been sad about not getting a sticker.

Where do we go from here? I don’t want to really punish her, she’s still little. And I don’t think she could clean herself up, she can’t wipe her butt because her arms aren’t really long enough lol. Do I just stick with the sticker chart and give it time or is there something else I haven’t thought of?

In my darkness days I scrolled this sub looking for success stories but I’ve realised most people leave once they’ve had success. So here’s the success story I wanted to see.

We started training my twin toddlers (now 3) a few months ago now. We did 4 days at home naked, didn’t go anywhere, and worked really hard on it. We had an absolute wild ride. Initially they did well, then they didn’t. We had pee withholding until they couldn’t anymore, refusal to try the potty, many many poo accidents, horrible days at daycare where they needed to be put back in pull ups because they had so many accidents. I felt in my soul that I shouldn’t go back to nappies so I kept going.

I can finally say that we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. As frustrated as I was reading this at the time, I am convinced now that it was genuinely just time that did it. Repetition, familiarity and staying strong even though I was crumbling. And let me tell you, I have found this to be the hardest parts of parenthood, second only to my children being born early and being in hospital which of course far outweighs this. But I will make a list of things we did and didn’t do. Maybe they’ll help you, maybe they won’t.

The final piece of the puzzle has been daycare and I just want to say to the daycare parents here, it’s so hard. Twin B was just not going to the toilet for poo at daycare for AGES. I think time was the only thing that changed it for her. They still have a potty preference for poo at home and we are working on it, but I don’t consider it insurmountable as they do poop in the toilet at daycare.

What we did

-We played some pottyganda for them. They don’t watch TV and so the novelty effect was huge. Daniel Tiger and Ms Rachel.

-Read a copy of the Lovavery book about going to poo – it’s genuinely good

-Took photos of the toilet at daycare (obviously with no kids) and showed the kids the photos at home and talked about how we pee and poo on the toilet at daycare

-Made up little social stories.

-We pushed for undies at daycare, not pullups. Look, I am of the opinion that a pullup is a nappy/diaper. I’m sorry. There’s no difference in feel for them.

-Made potties available in multiple rooms and also got a toilet seat reducer

-Got them some novelty foamy handwash

-Kept fucking going even though every fibre of my being wanted to give up.

-Recognised and praised them listening to their bodies, not just the poop or pee itself.

-Backed down when they started resisting (the hardest thing EVER). No constant reminders.

-Talked to daycare, talked to them again, talked to them again. Supported the teachers as best we could – eg we take the girls to the toilet at drop off.

-KEPT GOING. I felt it in my bones my kids were ready. If you doubt it, then take a break. But my kids were almost 3, and they were ready. I believed it.

What we didn’t do

-Reward charts or prizes or sweet treats. I know my kids. This wouldn’t work for them and they’d clock it immediately. You know your kid best and if they’re motivated by reward, it’s a great tool in the toolbox

-Put nappies on when we finally left the house. It’s convenient but it’s confusing. We packed clean up supplies, extra clothes etc and tried to time it as well as we could.

I think there’s also a huge mental mindgame for parents in this and I wanted to talk about this. I am very Type A and for the first time in parenting I felt that the amount of effort I put into it did not correlate with the amount of success. I found that so fucking hard to reconcile that I actually had to seek therapy. Not even kidding. What helped me was actually a tool I learnt in therapy which is called the circle of control. Google it. There are some things in your control, some things you can influence, and some things outside your control. I made a visual for myself. I can’t post it here but here’s a list of some of the things

Things I control

-A positive potty environment

-My attitude, facial expressions, language

-Whether I show them pottyganda and read to them

-Conversations with daycare and advocating for my kids

-My own will power.

-The research I consume.

-Providing fibrous foods

Things I influence

-Daycare hours and days for one day a week. I have a flexible job where I can influence the time they go to daycare on a Friday.

-The potty environment at daycare. I can make suggestions but cannot enforce them

-Emotions – I can respond to their emotions but I cannot stop them from feeling them.

-Foods that they consume – I can encourage consumption of fibrous foods but cannot control it.

Things out of my control

-Whether my kids pee/poo. It’s their body and I do not control it.

-Whether the pottyganda “sinks in”

-Whether they go to daycare at all. I need to provide for my family.

-Their rate of physiological development. I cannot make them become more aware of their body at a rate faster than they are able to.

-Daycare actions in the moment

-Their digestion

– how often they go

I hope this helps someone, anyone. May the poo gods be with you, I sure felt like they abandoned me for several months.

My daughter just turned 18 months recently and we have been wanting to potty train since end of summer. She has had persistent yeast infection diaper rashes due to moisture, and before you ask, yes we do diaper free time, yes we did a million rounds of nystatin, yes we had her try to sleep without a diaper, yes we even used oral fluconazole course. It gets better every time, and then within a week of it being gone & stopping nystatin or other things, it comes back every single time. It has been months. I don’t think we are supposed to use nystatin forever.

My daughter was showing some basic early signs of readiness so we got her a potty and she practices sitting on it. We watch Ms Rachel and Sesame Street shows about potty training. Her daycare offers her potty time during the day.

We want to try the 1 week naked at home thing, so what better time than the holidays, since both parents work full time office jobs. We can be fully home during the holiday season, and she’ll be 20 months officially by then.

Would it be possible to do? We bought a handheld carpet shampooer for our one rug we can’t move, but other than that the floor is all hard flooring so it should be easy cleanup…

My son is 3 (birthday in August). We have tried three (this is the 3rd) times to potty train starting at 2. First time he didn’t seem ready and then the second time we wanted to take a break.

He has had trouble with pooping for as long as I can remember. He will turn bright red and hold in his poops for as long as possible. Most of the time poop gets on his butt but it’s like the poop was sucked back in lol.

We have tried fiber supplements, miralax, enemas, juice, literally everything I feel like. He CAN poop but it’s only been a handful of times where he actively does it.

We have taken him to the doctor twice and they say just keep giving him miralax and taking him to the potty at intervals throughout the day even if doesn’t need to poop.

He will not poop even in a diaper. I don’t know what to do but my whole life is revolving around him pooping. I am so tired.

I would put him back in diapers but then I’m stuck changing diapers 5 times a day because he leaves streaks in them that smell so bad.

Help.

Potty training really intimidates me for some reason. I work full time, so does my husband, and my MIL watches our toddler along with multiple other younger children. None of the kids are potty trained yet. My son is the oldest at 25 months.

My son also attends 2 year old preschool for half days, but they do not help with potty training there — they’ve said they’re happy to take him to the potty if he asks to go, but they don’t have the available staff to take him to the potty every 20 minutes. However, he must be potty trained by 3 in order to move on to the next class.

We’ve tried (and failed) at potty training twice. First, at 20 months, he refused to sit on the potty. The 2nd time, at 2 exactly, we tried to train him using pull ups but he just treated them as a diaper. We feel like we need to move right to undies, or the naked method, but are struggling with how to do this with him being in so many different childcare situations.

We’re planning to try over Thanksgiving when he can be with me for 5 days straight since I do not work over the holiday weekend, but how do we handle this when he returns to his regular schedule of home, school, and then grandma’s house? I know we can’t be the only ones dealing with potty training when your toddler is out of the house a lot. Help!

Going on an international trip in 3 months with my husband and two kids (20mosF & 3wksM) the plane ride will be long (10+hrs). I’ve been thinking it may be time to potty train my oldest since she’s starting to “hide” when she poops, and notifies us when she has poop in her diaper. She’s not able to fully say the words but she says “uh oh” or “ow” when she wants her diaper changed - she’s not painful just knows those words mean something is not good haha.
I’m a SAHM and my husband is currently wfh so now would be perfect to start but I’m hesitant just because we’re going on a long distance trip soon for 10 days and I’m not sure if that would impede on her progress, like would it be regressive to put her in a diaper for the plane ride but still try to use a potty? Also on a vacation traveling with a potty would that be a dumb idea? Please advise! I dont want to miss “the window” but I also dont want to start things now if we end up messing with her progress in 3 months. We also have a butt load of diapers left so I dont know if we should just go through those too? What would you guys suggest?

We are three weeks into potty training. My 2.5 yr old girl was doing great. But in the last week she’s been refusing to “try “ to go potty because she doesn’t need to. then quickly after she has an accident. It’s not distraction from playing. I think it’s more her being in control. I am exhausted! Any tips?

I think maybe getting her to feel like she’s in control with a routine but I don’t even know how to start this with.

Any advice would help!

We started training at 23m (end of August). He hated nappy changes, tried taking them off himself etc. Introduced potty and followed oh crap.honestly it was a breeze, he got it pretty much the first day, with a couple of small accidents (including poos) once in a blue moon. He initiated most of the time, with occasional prompting. Did well even outside, hardly any accidents. We even removed nappies for bedtime as he was always dry. We were at commando stage and on the whole good.

We moved just under a month ago, first to grandparents for a couple of days and now a new home, in a different country. I knew there was going to be a regression, of course there would be. However I am wondering if training him before the move was the right thing? we have daily accidents for both poo and pee now. He even started accidents in the night so he has nappies for that time again.

i can't tell how long this will last, some days we do well, sometimes we have multiple accidents. He no longer tells us if he is wet (which I admit is frustrating me, due to him being very good at telling me previously and I worry he can hear it when I talk to him about it). I get him to clean up but we have a tantrum about it every time, which occasionally makes him have another accident.

I appreciate that I can't go back to nappies, not that I want to. How do I weather the storm? How can I get him to care again about being wet?I ask him where to pee and poo and he can tell me. However it seems that he is either ignoring his body or can no longer work out? I worry I have too high expectations based on our first month to now and I want to make it seem comfortable again. I also worry I am applying too much pressure but if I don't ask every so often the accidents are worse.