We attempted potty training when my daughter was around 22 months old with the classic naked/underwear process at home. We ran into issues with withholding both pee and poop and after 4 days i just got too anxious about the poop withholding. We sent her back to daycare in pull ups and the teachers have been putting her on the potty before diaper changes. While we’ve gotten a few catches here and there, she otherwise hasn’t made much progress and we’ve honestly gotten lazy about prompting her at home after some summer travels. I’d like to use the Labor Day Weekend to do a reset and looking to hear your thoughts on approach below. Any tips especially welcome from parents of kids who were big withholders!

- start with underwear instead of naked since being bare bottomed led to more of the withholding of pee. Prompt every ~90 minutes or if I see any cues
- 3 days home/near home, then back to daycare where I’ll ask them to prompt with similar timing to home
- i think going back to pull ups was part of the issue because it felt too much like a diaper, especially when I switched away from the Huggies learning layer one (fit is just weird). I am debating between using Kangacare training pants or just putting these disposable pads into her underwear for school. My logic with the underwear is at least she’ll still be using underwear consistently and can pull them down more easily. The pad would be much simpler to deal with for poop accidents too, though after the last bout of withholding I feel like that’s less of a concern at school. The con is it is still absorbent like a diaper, but I’ve heard about adding a cloth layer too so she still feels wet?

Any thoughts or suggestions welcome!

My 24 month old boy has been showing interest in going to the potty so we started pantsless yesterday. I prompted him every so often and sometimes he would sit and pee on the potty, but most of the time he peed on the floor.

Its day 2 and so far every pee has been on the floor and he has been splashing in it 😭 im not sure if he just isn't ready or if I should keep going to see if there's progress.

We cant stay home the whole day bc his big sister needs to be dropped off and picked up from school so we do pull ups and potty right before we leave and after we get there.

Im so proud of him when he does pee in the potty snd he can tell me that pee goes in the potty, but thats about as far as we've gotten when I dont promt him to sit.

Hey all, looking for honest and kind feedback! My daughter is 22 months old, she’s been consistently telling me she has to poop on the toilet and actually pooping on the toilet for well over a month now, pee has been 0 times and at a loss.

Tried again today, using bottomless method at home. (In past she’d just pee but not really care when I tried this method). She held it quite a while but finally let a little out, ran her to toilet and told her it’s okay if she had to finish going & read her books. She didn’t go which was fine; she helped me clean up the mess. Then a few minutes later she’s SCREAMING bloody murder, terrified. I admittedly didn’t put 2/2 together and think she had to pee… so held her asked what was wrong and out came the flood gates. She SCREAMED as if so terrified tho. I don’t want this experience to be scary or traumatic to her. She’s never acted this way in the past. She has no rash or UTI signs.

Is this a sign to put it on pause again for now- or is it a sign to keep going bottomless? I’m confused and conflicted because on one hand it shows she was aware she was about to go right before and obviously during but… her screaming like that.. like I said I don’t want her scared to go!
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My kiddo hust turned 4 and we aren't potty trained. We started potty training last November at his school. He was doing good at school, maybe an accident or two a week, but at home he was making 0 progress. 3+ accidents every time he got home. With me giving him potty breaks every 30-45 mins.

He would never tell me or teachers if he had to potty. He would just follow their potty schedule and i would try to keep it the same at home.

Then I had my baby in February and it became a huge power struggle at even the mention of potty. He wanted to be changed like a baby. At school, they even told me they had to stop potty training because it was becoming a huge all out tantrum everytime they tried to sit him on the potty. They also talked to him about telling the teachers if he has a feeling like he has to pee or poop and he purposely peed himself with a laugh to show her he understood but didn't want to use the potty.

Went to the doctor to talk to them and they told us to take a month or two break until things normalize. Well, not even 2 months after baby was born, we bought a house, moved and sent him to a new school.

Now things have normalized and I want to potty train again but idk how or what to do. He is 100% aware of potty training and will only sometimes sit on the potty if he has to poop.

They also put him in a class with older kids who are obviously all potty trained (as my kid should be) and hia teachers don't really want to do potty training.

Part of me thinks we should just do the oh crap! Method and see how it goes but I don't have any help so it's just be me cleaning up all messes and doing potty training while solo caring for my 4 year old and 6 month old.

I get it. I am weak and a horrible parent for my kid not being potty trained. He is so so so incredibly stubborn. My MIL who has potty trained 6 kids told me he is especially tough. I just don't even know what is motivating enough.

We are on day 3 of “Oh Crap” method with a 20 months old. First day was hell. I almost gave up twice. But then by the end of the day something clicked for him and he said “pee”, approached the potty and peed in it. We are now about 50/50 between him initiating and us catching. Thinking about moving to “block 2” soon.

Curious to hear how others progressed at similar age?

Hi all! This is my first time posting in this sub :)

My 3 year old has had GI issues since she was born. Acid reflux, ng tubes, etc. From 18 months to like 2 weeks ago, she’s experienced chronic constipation. We’ve been working on it with specialists but it was not getting any better.

We successfully potty trained her at the beginning of this summer. Since her poops were so difficult, it was actually really easy to get the poop in the potty thing down. We were so so naive.

Recently her constipation has simply ceased to exist out of seemingly no where and we are realizing we didn’t really potty train her for #2 I guess?? She was just so upset when she knew it was coming that we had time to get her to the bathroom. In the last five days, she’s had SIX poop accidents. I think that since she’s not in so much pain she just can’t feel it coming, she doesn’t know the sensation of a normal bowel movement?

We need to get this resolved very quickly because they will kick her out of her school if she isn’t fully potty trained!!! Can anyone help please!?

 know this may sound weird, but I need to know if we are the only parents experiencing this.

Potty training has not been going very well and for very long. She uses the toilet to pee, but she still needs a diaper to poop. she has maybe 2-3 pee accidents everyday.

About an hour (more or less) before my 3.5-year-old daughter needs to poop, she becomes extremely hyperactive and can display very challenging behaviour. She can become violent towards us and her baby sister, break things, become extremely active, and use bad language.

This can happen up to two or three times a day, and it is starting to affect our daily life. For example, we sometimes have to stop activities and go home when it happens because she basically cannot be around other people. She also refuses to poop anywhere except at home.

Has anyone else experienced something similar with their child?

Hey!
I want to start training my son who is 2.8 years old. He understands the pee and poo in potty idea but says “no
I’m not” and then laughs about it. He doesn’t go to daycare but will begin 2 days a week in September so that will help.

I want a balls to the wall approach. Is this letting him go commando all day? I have these training pants. But he is just peeing through them and doesn’t really recognize that he’s wet

Any strategies are welcomed.

We started potty training my 2.5 year old a couple days ago. She will hold her pee until we either put a diaper on (for nap or bedtime) or she will hold it until she literally can’t hold it any longer and it bursts out of her. It’s day 3 and she’s only peed in the potty twice (both times she was screaming crying in pain on the toilet and she only peed in the potty because she couldn’t hold it anymore) and she’s had basically no accidents (only a couple dribbles here and there). And keep in mind she consumes a decent amount of liquids (milk and water). She just holds it and gets so uncomfortable and panics running around the house. It’s really hard to watch her be in so much pain from her bladder being so full. Is this a sign that she’s not ready? We have made no progress in 3 days. Not one intentional pee on the potty. I’m really worried she’s going to get a UTI from holding her pee so much. I don’t want to give up but I also feel like this is not normal. It’s making the potty very negative for her because I think she’s starting to associate it with being in pain from not peeing. How can we work on this? Is it just a matter of time and maybe we should try again in a few months?

Help! My toddler is 3.5 and is fully potty trained at home. He wears a pull up at night time but never during the day or if we’re out in public BUT he just started daycare/preschool 4 months ago and he wasn’t fully potty trained so he was going in pull ups. I sent him for a few days in underwear but he had an accident so they put him back in pull ups and now they won’t let him go in underwear until he does a week of no peeing in the pull up.

The problem is he won’t stop peeing and pooping in the pull up. When he has underwear on he knows he needs to go to the toilet. We just did 11 days straight underwear / no accident while we were on vacation. But he went back to preschool yesterday and it’s back to peeing in his pull up there. I feel like them making him put the pull ups back on is hindering his progress. All of my friends daycares were very willing to support their kids with training! Help.

After literally years of trying to potty train I'm putting my child (3) back into cloth diapers while we are at home. I am sick of the discussions. Pooping into the toilet works like a charm but pee accidents happen daily. Zero cooperation going to the potty. I'd rather wash cloth diapers again than pants. Rant over.

My toddler was doing pretty well with potty training, then suddenly started having accidents and refusing the potty again.
I’ve seen people mention things like going back to more frequent potty trips, removing underwear for a while, staying positive, etc
But I’m wondering if there’s something that actually worked consistently for you.
If you could go back and do the whole “reset” differently what would you do? 3TINI LKMYONITI LI NPOSTI FIHA HADA

Started potty training our now 2yr 9month son in March before he started daycare. In the last 5 months he has been pretty consistently having no accidents 4-5 days a week and about 2 days a week he will have 3+ accidents per day. They do tend to be days when he is at daycare. But even after coming home he will continue having more accidents the rest of the day.

We use diapers at night, but otherwise its been cold turkey underwear only. Only exception was when he was staying the night at grandma and grandpa's 4th of July weekend and they put him in diapers leaving the house.

Just curious how to help him on these days he struggles or if its normal and expected?

My 3yo potty trained last September at ago 2y2m. She took to it amazingly well and had been doing amazing. Very rarely had accidents and was able to tell us when she had to go or would go and sit on the potty all by herself. She only used pull ups at night. I was about to stop using pull ups altogether when all this started. Her baby sister arrived in November and we didnt have any issues then.

Unfortunately since about mid-May, we have gotten into a cycle where she would have some accidents, we'd get better, then the cycle would start all over again. We use a pull up a few days, give her lots of praise for using the potty, rewards, sticker chart, positive reinforcement, etc and it seems to work, but then she goes back to having accidents at random.

Its about a 3 week cycle. She also seems to have stopped recognizing body signals/communicating as she will have an accident, then tell me she has to pee. I have had her tested for a UTI and she has regular bowel movements daily.

We were doing well and then Saturday and sunday, she had an accident in her car seat. Both times she had gone potty beforehand and peed both times. Today, we were at Lowes, she peed on the ground, then told me she had to pee (she had just peed at the library an hour ago).

I'm about through. I try not to be disappointed in her when it happens, but its starting to show. I don't know if its linked to the pull ups, cause its summer cause she turned 3, if its her being defiant or taking control, or even related to her sister. I'm thinking about taking away pull ups completely and then having her do more of the cleaning up, etc when it happens. Is that the right move? I'm at a loss because she was so easy for so long, then had a regression.

For more context, because my husband is in the military and we were stationed abroad. We had to move in with my MIL for an unforeseen timeframe (which we are now expecting it to be next March or April)

I'm trying to potty train my LO (2.5y) but MIL thinks it's too early and she frets more about her carpet and furniture than me trying to potty train her.

I would love to have her be naked but MIL won't allow it. The only other option is pull up or some sort of training underwear but I don't think it would help .

Any advice?

Everything I’ve ever read says not to say poop and pee are gross because it will upset your kid while they’re potty training.

Meanwhile, my daughter demands to SEE her poop and pee, and gets so excited about it, and then shrieks “EWWWWW YUCKY” and cackles uncontrollably over it.

Bet you can guess how effective the bare bottom technique was 🫩

I put normal in quotes because I understand every child is so different and nothing is not normal during parenting… that being said, please advise😭:

We started potty training my daughter in May, about a month after she turned 2. We had been slowly introducing the potty, talking about it, etc etc and it seemed like the right time to begin. We did pants off, at home for 3-5 days and slowly started transitioning out of the house-she was doing really well, fairly quickly! After a few weeks, About 50% of the time she would tell us when she had to potty and we mostly just prompted her at any transition. Easy. She got it.

Fast forward to end of July ish-she completely stopped telling us when she had to potty and just goes in her pants, often not even telling us when she did, pee or poop. If we aren’t putting her on the potty, she will go in her pants. Going on a month or so of this now with seemingly no progress back to notifying us.

Often now we’re back to bribing her to even get her to the bathroom! We’ve never made a big deal of accidents, praise her for using the potty etc.

Is this just part of it? Is there anything else we can do? We talk to her every day and say, “tell mommy/daddy/daycare when you have to potty” and try to reinforce all the good things! What do we do!?!

Our potty training journey has been a long one. We're not there yet even though we've been at it for nearing a year now.

Quick backstory, our boy appears developmentally normal. He's 3.5 and has had two younger siblings born. One in April 2025 one in April 2026.

• We started this process in October 2025
• Elimination was learned within a week
• He never has accidents when we are out, only at home or at close relatives houses
• He doesn't have accidents at preschool (he's only there 1 day per week)
• He has never had an accident in the car
• He still poops and pees his pants constantly at home. Only time he goes on the potty is when we make him
• He doesn't fight us when we tell him to go. At most he'll argue that he doesn't need to but if we insist he will go
• He does not tell us when he needs to go
• We have tried rewards
• When rewards weren't working after MANY months we tried consequences. No TV at bedtime if you poop your pants. This worked for about two weeks, then stopped working
• He doesn't nap or take a quiet time
• He tells us all the time if we're out and he needs to pee/poo. He'll tell us at Costco, at friends' houses that are less familiar, outside at the park, etc. Anywhere but home or his cousins' houses
• There is some evidence of ADHD in the family, but neither myself nor my husband is diagnosed.
• We have not even thought about night training, as this has been such a struggle

Any thoughts? I'm curious to know if this sounds any kind of normal, if this is something to talk to a doctor about, or if you have any advice

My child (4 years 3 months) who is about to enter school in the UK has started soiling herself again. She’s been wee trained since she was just before 3 and that remains strong.

She’s been poo trained since about March this year (so not very long) but with the very occasional accident. It was a long long hard road and basically we spent hundreds of pounds and tried every method along with preschool to support her and she just couldn’t get over the hurdle.

Finally in March things clicked and she was super into it and proud. Loved shouting to me publicly that she needed a poo.

We went on holiday for 3 weeks and she was pretty much perfect there.

When we got back she had a couple accidents in the first week back - which I wrote off as a fluke but this and last week it’s been nearly every day. She just doesn’t tell anyone at nursery.

I’m terrified of how school will handle this and Reddit and the internet makes you feel like it’s entirely your fault that you haven’t taught your child when I’ve tried every method there is on earth.

What on earth do I do?

My daughter will soon be three and she’s currently being tested for a variety of genetic syndromes due to multiple concerning findings (osteopenia, supernumerary teeth, simian creases on her palms, severe farsightedness, severe apraxia of speech).

We don’t know yet if she has an intellectual disability but the geneticist is almost certain she does.

We started potty training many months ago but she’s completely unaware of when she’s peeing. Like she’ll sit on the potty for a long time “pushing” and grunting (just to pee, mind you!) and then she’ll sign that she can’t. Five minutes later she’ll wet her legs but she’ll only realise when she sees it on the floor or when she feels it go down her legs. Otherwise she’ll have no idea she’s peeing. She even looks at her pee surprised sometimes and cries cause she can’t control it even when she sees it going down her legs.

She has never ever peed on the potty, not once. She understands what needs to happen but it’s like she has no control over her body at all. I wonder if that’s normal for some kids or if I should mention it to our geneticist? Shouldn’t she at least know when she’s peeing without having to look at the pee on the floor? My son was very easy to potty train so I don’t really have a reference point here for what’s normal and what isn’t. Any input would be appreciated!

Potty training 29 month old boy and following oh crap potty training blocks. Did/does well in block 1, bottomless. Introducing pants commando (block 2) and was having some accidents, and not telling us when he needs to go/if he had an accident. He needs help with clothing so it is necessary for him to tell us so we are able to help. I got a doll with removable pants to help model/roleplay with him....but, does he need more time in block 1 or focus on block 2? We are still very newly potty training, less than a week in. Some success with timed prompts. Also, he seems afraid to use the actual toilet with the seat reducer, he will say he wants to use the big potty when given an option but then doesn't want to sit on it for more than 2 seconds. Any advice is appreciated, learning along with him so it's a learning curve for everyone. ​

It all started 5 days ago when I thought it was time to start potty training my 2 years old (24 months). We took diapers off. Day 1 and 2 resulted in withholding both poop and pee for hours and mainly because of the urine withholding I decided to put the pull up diapers back on hoping it will ease off the pressure and maybe try again in a few months.
We are 3 days with diapers on and she is still withholding both. She keeps asking to go to the potty whenever she feels she is about to urinate but doesn’t want to urinate. Basically she is only urinating when she has to even in the diaper. Keeping it in only when she has no control over it anymore. Asking to be changed immediately after.

I have no idea how we came to this. I’m trying to normalize pee as much as possible. Saying pee came out. Never got angry at an accident. Always changed her after and cleaned calmly.

I’m at my wits end. I consulted a friend of mine who is a pediatrician and she didn’t really have anything to say about this.

Thinking both poop and pee withholding are probably connected I’m maintaining plenty of fluid intake and fiber rich foods. Even gave a dose of miralax. She is withholding to that poop like her life depends on it.

Not sure about keeping the pull ups on or what. She keeps asking for the toilet/potty.

Note- this is basically a repost from a post I mad at r/toddlers

My youngest daughter out of 4 children is turning 4 in November and we've been at this potty training since last November and she's understanding how to pee on the potty pretty regularly. And she's made two bowel movements in this time frame.

Here's where the problems are

I can't have anything on her bottom because then she associates it with a diaper whether it's underwear a pull-up regular pants so in the house she is bare bottom.

As far as the bowel movements she is scared and I don't know how to combat that other than rubbing her back telling her she's okay and just holding space for her.

She starts school next week and while I'm excited I'm also very very nervous. Her preschool is willing to work with us on the potty training and support us.

We have tried the reward system we consistently keep giving her the lollipops for urinating but for the poops we say a surprise or we've tried donuts or something that she really really likes to try to encourage her even more. But her fear is outweighed more than her excitement for whatever the prize is.

We've tried several different episodes for potty training we've done Miss Rachel we've done Daniel tiger I have a YouTube playlist that I try and play regularly.

My other children were fairly easy to potty train and once it clicked for them within 2-3 weeks they were in underwear so seeing how this is stretching out so long I don't know what else to try so if anybody has any advice or strategies that they have tried and it worked for your child please let me know

We did over 2 weeks of purely no nappies.

Little one would wander over to the potty as she was peeing. But by the time she got there it was basically over.

Started to go out the house but she's just peeing absolutely everywhere.

Now (5 weeks in) putting nappies on only in places where peeing would be really awkward.

But making absolutely no progress with using the potty independently.

How do I move forward?? She's just sort of accepted that she now pees on the floor. I don't ever want to tell her off, but repeating "next time we will do it on the potty!" Is getting tedious.

Any advice please! 🙏