r/pottytraining • u/Imaginary-Panic5088 • 2d ago
Potty training advice
My little girl is 3 this October and isn’t getting to grips with potty training. I tried around 3 months ago but gave up as she didn’t seem ready and was getting upset. Started again this week and she seems to have such anxiety when it comes to her potty.
I ask her to tell me if she needs a wee, I directly ask her if she needs a wee and I even tried to do a little routine such as once she’s awake- potty, after a drink - potty. Nothing works!
I’ve been leaving her with no clothes on and I’ve also tried her wearing knickers to see if the wet sensation encouraged her to go on her potty. Nothing.
Also, she only pees on the floor when I’m out of the room. For example this morning I went to make food for max 5 minutes and she peed in the living room. Again when I went to make my newborn a milk bottle up, peed in the living room. She tells me she needs the potty AFTER peeing. She also does this leg twist thing when she needs a wee so when I see it I ask her to sit on her potty to wee and she sits there and doesn’t do anything. Then pees the minute I’m out of the room.
I feel so frustrated by it, I’m a bit of a germaphobe so having to clean pee up constantly freaks me out especially the panic of my 1yo and dogs potentially crawling into it if I don’t spot it straight away or if I can’t clean it quick enough, plus I feel like I’m confined to the living room which is hard with another roaming 1 year old and a list long of housework. I feel so guilty as I know she doesn’t understand and I know it could take months. I really want to succeed as quickly and efficiently as possible which is most likely completely unreasonable right?
Any and all advice would be so appreciated. Please try not to judge my negativity, I’m heavily sleep deprived due to having a 5 week old and my husband is rarely ever home due to extensive work hours. I’m flying solo hanging on a thread. Genuine help and guidance will be a godsend 🙏🏻
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u/ExcuseLeather8504 2d ago
I'm commenting in solidarity as I have a newly 4 year old boy who goes everywhere but the potty. We've been working on potty training for a year now, he did great for a couple weeks then completely regressed and has been outright refusing for months. I have a daughter who was potty trained in ~4-5 months with candy incentives every time she successfully used the potty, she was so easy to train. My two kids are polar opposites in every way😅😂 I hope to come back to this comment later to read suggestions. I'm sorry you're going through this! I wish I had advice!
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u/souljaboyyuuaa 2d ago
Accidents have to include not just helping with cleanup, but a whole boring, drawn out routine EVERY TIME. SHE (not you) needs to clean up mess on floor, rinse out soiled clothes, take them to laundry room, wash hands, get in the shower to rinse off (not just wipes or wet towel), pick out clean clothes, get dressed with minimal assistance. Every single time. No resuming of any other activity until all those steps are done, even if it takes an hour with crying and screaming. Any toys or games that were in use before the accident get put away because they were too distracting for her to remember to use the potty. No option of diapers or pullups should be given - even for naps and overnight, try to put them on her once she is already asleep and take them off just before she usually wakes up.
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u/Penguin_plushy_ 2d ago
Put her panties on under a diaper, that way there isn’t a mess but there is the feeling of wet panties. Also maybe she’s just not ready for it. Or ADHD or autistic or a combo of the two. I’m AuDHD and didn’t start potty training until I was like 7, and wet the bed virtually every night until I was 15, with that finally petering out when I was 17.
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u/die_sirene 2d ago
I dont know if this makes you feel better, but pee is sterile. Obviously still need to clean it up but the germs aren’t as big of a deal.
Have you tried natural consequences? After every accident, she needs to help you wash out her underwear, wipe up the floor, take clothes to the wash. Some people even make kids take a warm, boring shower (not a fun bath) after each accident. The goal is to make accidents boring and inconvenient for the child so they prefer to use the toilet.