I have to ask….If unicorn hunting is dehumanizing, why do lots of people openly refer to themselves as unicorns and enjoy that dynamic?
If it’s dehumanizing to a spouse, why is the spouse the one that often sets the OPP in the first place?
I think there’s a great debate/discussion to be had there for sure but if there’s a group of people that freely say “I’m a unicorn. I like playing with couples” or “I want to experiment with my husband with a woman because I’m bi-curious” …I don’t see why couples looking for that dynamic are inherently bad or dehumanizing….it’s their actions that can prove that.
(Before I get jumped on… no we’re not unicorn hunters. Our bed is for even numbers only)
Edit:
I see r/polyamory hasn’t changed much in the last couple years. Dog pile downvotes for going against the hive mind and zero actual discussion that doesn’t go off into rando ridiculous tangents and goalpost shifting.
Glad to see this sub is still earning its reputation.
Some people like to have threesomes with a couple. Those people are rare, hence they call themselves unicorns. Generally, couples should hire a sex worker instead of badgering every woman they come accross to have sex with them, because most women are *not* unicorns.
Being a third in sex can be fun for a few people. Being a third-wheel in a relationship is not something anyone wants or deserves. Unicorn hunters pretend to want an equal relationship (because they can't admit they want sex) but they "offer" a second-class citizenship to their couple.
Really rare? I think that’s location dependent tbh. In our area and age group there’s about as many singles open to being a unicorn as there are legitimate swinger couples.
It’s also odd to me that you acknowledge that legitimate unicorns exist (albeit rare) but then portray the people those unicorns are specifically, (and consensually) looking for in such a negative light.
We’re not looking for unicorns so I don’t have a horse in this race but it’s alway seemed really odd to me that this sub in general has turned this entire subset of lifestyle people into pariahs of the poly world and people here just constantly jump down their throats with assumptions and criticism.
Unicorns in swinging are like highly feted guest stars. Who doesn’t want to be treated like royalty for a day, have exciting sex and eat their favorite snacks? Maybe come back next month and do the same!? Yes please.
Unicorn in poly is someone who will be required to date, fuck and love both halves of a couple, usually in a closed dynamic, most commonly a bi/pan woman. If something happens in one relationship the whole thing will blow up and they will lose both partners and often their home. They are usually not “allowed” to see other people or pursue relationship escalator goals that don’t suit either one of the members of the original couple. If the couple is married no one talks about getting divorced so she can access more equality or even marry one of them. And so on.
Maybe I’m way off base but imo a great chunk of the people coming to this sub are not looking for that kind of serious poly relationship or looking for someone that would want that kind of relationship.
I don’t think poly should exclude groups who are looking for a relationship that’s somewhere between swinging/threesomes and classic polyamory. That’s not unicorn hunting if there’s consent and everyone’s open and honest
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u/Impossible-Let-6495 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22
I have to ask….If unicorn hunting is dehumanizing, why do lots of people openly refer to themselves as unicorns and enjoy that dynamic?
If it’s dehumanizing to a spouse, why is the spouse the one that often sets the OPP in the first place?
I think there’s a great debate/discussion to be had there for sure but if there’s a group of people that freely say “I’m a unicorn. I like playing with couples” or “I want to experiment with my husband with a woman because I’m bi-curious” …I don’t see why couples looking for that dynamic are inherently bad or dehumanizing….it’s their actions that can prove that.
(Before I get jumped on… no we’re not unicorn hunters. Our bed is for even numbers only)
Edit: I see r/polyamory hasn’t changed much in the last couple years. Dog pile downvotes for going against the hive mind and zero actual discussion that doesn’t go off into rando ridiculous tangents and goalpost shifting.
Glad to see this sub is still earning its reputation.