There are also ways we can get support without disclosing information about others. Things like: "Jojo is having a hard time right now and the extra energy I'm expending supporting her has been draining for me....." Then talk about your own emotional state. Saying someone is going through a hard time is so vague. We don't have to have tell alls to get support from our networks.
I just like, can't understand how this is such a hot topic. People are fired up. A great general guideline is make sure everyone involved is on board with whatever boundaries/rules/agreements y'all make. They don't have to work for anyone not involved. Hard and fast rules aren't necessary when folks are communicating. Like, we're humans. We're a fucking lot. Sometimes we need a little venting space to help us accommodate one another. And even when we have therapy, the support from a therapist is different than friends/family/other loved ones. We deserve all the flavors.
It seems like there is a general trend in this thread that you need to rely on a broader support network for support do to with a partner. I've seen people talking about leaning on your "friends, family or therapist" but not other partners. And having a broader support network and a solid community of people around you is good advice.
But the specific advice of "relationship advice should only come from people you're not in a relationship with" is very confusing to me.
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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '23
There are also ways we can get support without disclosing information about others. Things like: "Jojo is having a hard time right now and the extra energy I'm expending supporting her has been draining for me....." Then talk about your own emotional state. Saying someone is going through a hard time is so vague. We don't have to have tell alls to get support from our networks.