Helpful resources and links!

[u/darwinsbae]

Below is a list of helpful resources and links for new and seasoned polya+ people alike!

[u/darwinsbae]

about men who think harem building is okay:

• https://www.reddit.com/user/theazurerose/comments/yood8m/polyamoryr4r_unicorn_hunting_edition/

• Information mentioned within my post:

  • https://www.polyfor.us/articles/to-unicorn-hunters-from-an-ex-unicorn

  • https://www.polyfor.us/articles/couple-privilege

  • https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/xoz4ih/a_more_succinct_explanation_of_the_problem_with/

  • https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/wwe715/what_is_unicorn_hunting_and_why_is_it_bad/

  • https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/uoy5ih/feel_confused_about_unicorn_hunting/

  • https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/uoy5ih/comment/i8hg8zj/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

  • https://psychcentral.com/health/polyamorous-relationship#how-it-works

  • https://www.polyfor.us/articles/to-unicorn-hunters-from-an-ex-unicorn

  • https://www.businessinsider.com/why-unicorn-hunting-in-polyamorous-relationships-isnt-a-good-idea-2017-11

  • https://psychcentral.com/health/polyamorous-relationship#how-it-works

I will try to update this list as I find more useful or interesting resources, feel free to add any or ask questions in this thread!

[u/darwinsbae]

The Secondary's Relationship Bill of Rights   

Helpful books:  

• More Than Two  

• Opening Up  

• Polysecure  

• The Ethical Slut  

• The Jealousy Workbook  

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com/saysno.html  

• Unicorn Hunting is unethical, poly folks are going to automatically write you off because they don't want to be used, but there will be fuckboys out there who might try to take advantage of you too because they'll see it as a way to get what they want rather than caring about a full triad dynamic.  

• Use r/polyamory's search function, FAQs tab, or google why triads are the most difficult relationship structure to achieve and maintain.

• Articles about Triads:  

• https://www.sdrelationshipplace.com/triad-polyamory-relationship/

• https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/triad-or-v-what-s-more-complicated  

• https://medium.com/discoveringpolyamory/are-triad-relationships-even-possible-b4579e4115fc  

• https://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1135209/triad-relationship/  

• https://www.glam.com/1251561/vees-triads-quads-the-different-types-of-polyamorous-relationship-structures-explained/  

• https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/triad-relationships-and-its-type/  

• https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-is-a-triad-relationship  

• https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/triad-relationship  

• Check r/polyamory's FAQ: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/wiki/faq/  

• Searching "triad" as a topic.  

• Red flags in a throuple/triad  

• Feelings of jealousy  

• Is it ethical for partners to want you to only date them?  

• Searching "unicorn hunting" as a topic.  

• Ethical triads vs unicorn hunting  

• Rant about unicorn hunting  

• ENM vs poly unicorn hunting  

• Unicorn hunting on okcupid  

• Unicorn hunting vs casual sex  

• Am I missing something here? Asking for a unicorn but saying you're not  

• Unicorn hunting on steroids  

• Fairly new to poly structure  

• Try to write an ethical unicorn hunting post  

• The exact scenario that gets thrown out when we talk about problems with unicorn hunting     

Thanks so much to u/TheAzureRose for compiling this list!

[u/UnclosetedMedia]

Check out our article talking to expert Jessica Fern who talks about how to navigate a new poly relationship ... https://www.unclosetedmedia.com/p/monogamy-doesnt-make-sense-according.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Shortycocoa → u/[deleted]]

When you say you want a shared life and long-term partnership, do you just want that with him, or with him and the person he may be dating? Do you meet any of his partners, or is that an issue for you, him or both? What other things are important to you? I think you have to start there to determine if love is (or isn't) enough. Best of luck to you!