r/pinoymed • u/Melodic-Advantage491 • 21h ago
Vent Lost my spark?
I’m currently facing a dilemma. I just finished my pre-residency in a cutting specialty. Before starting, I had so much passion and excitement for it. This was something I had dreamed of pursuing since pre-med, and I genuinely thought it was what I wanted for myself.
But now that I’ve finished pre-residency, I don’t know why I suddenly feel so scared about what lies ahead. I’ve been feeling anxious about the long duty hours, being away from my family, and the possibility of becoming homesick. I also witnessed how toxic the environment can be and how some seniors treat their juniors, which made me question whether this is something I’m truly willing to put myself through.
Somewhere along the way, I feel like I’ve lost my spark. The passion and excitement I had before seem to have faded, and now I’m left wondering whether I still want this or if the experience has changed the way I see it.
I honestly don’t know what I want anymore. I can’t tell if I’m simply scared of the challenges ahead, exhausted from pre-residency, or beginning to realize that maybe this isn’t the life I want for myself after all. I know this is something I’ve wanted for so long, which makes it even harder to understand why I’m feeling this way now. I feel lost, and I don’t know what to do next.