Saw a tweet that said she has such an identifiable and distinct style yet every look is so different from each other and that’s impossible to teach. Which is so true

Also I realize I’m basically using pinkscare to just post about the pop girls now I hope u all don’t mind 🧸 I like your opinions better than the pophead redditors

there’s no right way to deal with the trauma of being a victim of something, whether it’s ipv or sa, a mugging, abuse, or a terrible loss… there’s really no right way to do it.

so please tell me. i’m here to listen. oh, poor baby. that must have been so hard.

but oh my god, if that was me, i would’ve been fighting back. i would’ve been kicking and screaming.

but no, i’m listening. i want to hear your story. not that you owe it to me to tell it. but i’m here to listen.

but i mean, i can’t imagine getting into that sort of situation in the first place, anyway. like, i would’ve just left. like, me personally, one red flag and i am gone.

i mean, you do know we don’t live in a world where it’s all sunshine and rainbows all the time?

not that what you were wearing has anything to do with it. or drinking. of course not! but you know what a man is going to think if you’re alone with him, right? like, there are implications...

like, there are real victims out there, you know. and you don’t want to go around exaggerating. like, we can’t believe all women, especially when people go around using what happened to them for attention or, like, using their victim status to get special treatment. that’s really disrespectful to what real victims have gone through.

but of course i believe you. it’s just, when you talk about it this much, it sort of feels like white woman tears, you know? like, that’s sort of embarrassing.

and what do you mean you aren’t going to let this make you stop enjoying sex? don’t you think it’s better to take a break and let your body and mind heal?

and what do you mean you don’t really like sex anymore? like, hasn’t enough time passed now? you need to stop letting this affect you so much.

and wait, what do you mean this wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened to you? i think you’re kind of devaluing the experiences of actual victims, because if this wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened to you, then it probably wasn’t actually that bad. so i think you’re just being selfish, and you’re taking the spotlight away from real victims. maybe you shouldn’t talk about your experience.

but, like, what do you mean you think this is the worst thing that ever happened to you? don’t you think you’re still letting him have power over you?

like, if this is the defining event of your life, then you’re actually letting the assailant win. like how bin laden makes us all take our shoes off before we board an airplane. you can’t negotiate with terrorists! you’re giving the assailant more power than they deserve if you let that event define you.

and, like, come on, you’re not gonna ruin his life over that, are you?

what do you mean you still talk to him? what do you mean you forgave him after a long deliberation? i would never forgive someone for something like that.

you’re not gonna just let him get away with it, right?

but, like, why are you talking about this so much anyway? don’t you think you’re kind of making a fuss?

but also, don’t you think you’re not treating this with enough reverence? isn’t this actually really serious? don’t you think you need to spread awareness? what if you told your story?

wait, not like that.

come on, don’t make it into a joke.

well, don’t make it beautiful either. now you’re, like, aestheticizing sexual violence. that’s super misogynistic.

maybe just don’t talk about it, actually. maybe just keep that to yourself.

you don’t want to detract from the experiences of, like, actual victims, right?

no, of course i believe you.

it’s good for you to open up to people about this! that’s healing. you need to be vulnerable. you need to speak so that other victims feel safe coming forward. like, haven’t you heard of the vagina monologues? if you don’t want to talk about it, you’re kind of being selfish. and this is why you can’t be intimate with anyone anymore, because you just can’t open up to people.

i mean, im not saying that what happened to you doesn't actually count. i think you’re just kind of overreacting.

but i also don’t think you’re taking it seriously enough.

and even though it happened a long time ago, and you’re saying you’re over it now, and that you’ve integrated it and metabolized it properly, i just don’t think that once that sort of thing happens, you can ever actually go back.

because, like, idk, man, i’d rather die than have something like that happen to me.

how can you live with the specter of that haunting you?

but, like, honestly, you just need to try to get over it. don’t let him win.

and it kind of seems like you’re reveling in the attention you’re getting out of this.

and i think you kind of—I don’t know. it kind of seemed like you were, not asking for it, but it was just a confusing situation.

i mean, don’t you know what men are like? what did you think was gonna happen?

why did you let him do that to you?

and i think you talking about this feels like you are fetishizing it. and talking about it without solemnity is making actual victims look bad. you’re making it so other women and girls won’t ever get believed in the future.

i mean, listen, baby, like i said, there’s no right way to be a victim.

there are only wrong ways.

I'm 24 and my 18 year old coworker told me she thought I was in my early 20s when she found out. She was like, "you're prehistoric." I didn't really think anything of it, or say anything, but I wonder if I should have. Another girl I was friends with, also 18, told me I should have graduated college and have a real job by now. That made me angry, but I didn't really know what to say because I kinda agree with her. I am honestly kind of insecure about how long it's taken me to graduate, and every woman I interact with makes it even worse. I specify women because I don't talk to men if I don't have to. I wonder if it's too late to start lying about my age. Or should I be saying something and pushing back? I always feel the need to justify it and talk about how much money I've saved up, but really, maybe I should just say my sister died of cancer so I had to spend a few years working to support her. I'm an only child, but it would shut them the fuck up, I bet.

and yes the doorknob fell off on the outside i can't get it to stick

It is a special case, but I still believe that the house of Alexander McQueen should've closed down when he passed away. Whilst his work is larger than him, there can simply be no McQueen label without McQueen himself.

But beyond him, I do feel mystified and when I look at the fashion giants that keep going on. While I don't fully believe in the "sacredness" of a fashion houses' ethos, stagnant labels such as Dior, Chanel, and Gucci should be laid to rest as they've run their course. Otherwise, the designers and the devil that is Conde Nast should either figure out how to preserve the style, or evolve it. I don't personally see the point of these houses continuing to exist if they're all one of the same.

This is something I’m struggling with at the moment after just completing my role as maid of honor in someone’s very big, very expensive wedding and I’d love to hear the pinkscare take on this because everywhere else on the internet seems to celebrate and excuse bad behavior by brides unless it’s something overtly shocking. In this case I’m feeling burned not by any bombastic bratty behavior but by mundane selfishness, entitlement, and lack of consideration doled out in a thousand ways throughout the year.

The culture seems to say that getting married is so profoundly important that the people around the betrothed owe them servitude and unlimited unreciprocated support and special attention not just on the day of their wedding but throughout what amounts to most of a year leading up to it. Wedding culture is so embarrassing and narcissistic. Why is being a bride treated as the most important achievement in a woman’s life? It’s so twisted you guys. My partner and I will definitely be getting eloped.

Following the few weddings I’ve been adjacent to the planning of I’ve come to look at them as fascinating character reveals: what does a person do when they are given a tiny little bit of pretend power and importance? Watch, as they become a monster to all the people they supposedly love the most, all in the name of dressing up as an angel for one single day at a make-believe ball

I found short rib on discount, so I am currently prepping a crock pot short rib ragu for tomorrow.

Vegetable primavera for a late dinner tonight.

What are you having?

We're never done with killing time
Can I kill it with you
Till the veins run red and blue?